Hearing more & more about his troubled behavior, I cannot help but wonder; If those around him utilized the mantra "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle", would he have been able to overcome the daemons that must have tortured him?

Another thing that bothers me is how many people seem unaffected by this.  My husbands response was "This is nothing compared to what happens in Iraq every day."  While this is in part true, the sad truth is that war is death. One does not expect to violently die, or be violently threatened while at college.  And still I find his response bothersome because it also illustrates that we (being American) are only aware of or concerned about Americans dying - or some about those being killed by Americans.  But what about the horrific situation in Darfur? (http://www.darfurgenocide.org/)  Or the continuation of Child Slavery in India? (http://www.hrw.org/reports/1996/India3.htm) as well as other nations.(http://www.hrw.org/)  Oh yeah, lets not forget Global Climate Change (http://www.climatecrisis.net/  http://www.globalwarming.org/) and the other host of environmental issues that we  - US this generation, not our children nor our grandchildren - will have to deal with.

Yet, somehow, amidst all of this hatred, violence, and general shitty behavior by people I find that I am often overwhelmed with the beauty of life.  Last weekend I went for a bike ride to a friends house. The sun was warm the breeze was cool, Spring is upon us - flowers are beginning to push up through the cool soil, cherry & apple trees have bended boughs of fragrant blooms, maples are beginning to unfurl fragile green leaves, neighborhood residents out in force, walking dogs, children and selves.  Taking a deep breath, I let the pain of overwhelming beauty pass through me and know,

Life Is Beautiful.

I am in my last days of school here at IU Bloomington. WoW!! The time went fast. On Friday I will turn in my last two assignments as a graduate student.  There are some things about grad school that I don't care for – the loss of my evening & weekends – but there are other things that I love.  This semester, I have been able to re-connect with my wonderful friends & I have met a bunch of amazing people.  It is amazing the bonding power of stressing over press releases, case briefs, and bad boot camp instructors.  I gladly did not have the ban boot camp leader, but I have heard enough to know that I will be eternally grateful for that. 

I will miss my roommate & friend Amie immensely!  We have been friends for years, but this semester we have managed to become even closer.  Amie has given me the amazing gift of life – it is through her training and encouragement that I went from 185 pounds (fall of 2003) to 130 (now).  I am trying to find a photo from before to post so that people can see the stark difference.  As one of my friends recently said "You lost a small child!"  The change has come about slowly and is the result of eating habits being changed. But more importantly I have re-gained the love of movement.  I find joy in being active; whether it is going for a hike, walk, run, aerobics class or dancing the night away to great music.  A fabulous side effect is that it has rubbed off on some of my friends and my mom!! (Hi mum!!)  Over the Thanksgiving Holiday I took my mum to buy her her first pair of real running shoes!  I am so excited for her!!  It is jus amazing that it worked out that my being in Bloomington corresponded with Amie coming back to life!  We have had an amazing time and have so many memories that will be cherished. (Go IU!!)

I am thrilled beyond words to be returning to my husband, dog, and House!  Earlier in the year my husband & I bought a house, that I have not gotten to live in!  Renovations were happening so I was unable to move into the house before I had to return to Bloomington.  I have "visited" the house, but how wired is that??  I am so happy that soon I will be able to get settled in my home.  AND I am looking forward to re-bonding with my husband.  This separation has been very difficult, but in many ways will help us have a stronger healthier marriage. 

All of my friends are more than welcome to come visit!! We have a guest bedroom and everything!! Unless I convince Amie to move with me, then she'll be living in that room!!

Ah, we'll come up with something!
 

Hallowe'en has been one of my most favorite holiday's for much of my life.  As a child I enjoyed the opportunity to play dress up and the abundant candy.  But I always felt that the day was magical, I often anticipated something.....something unexpected to happen.  And sadly my mind must be slipping because I can think of no special events right now - but I am sure they happened.  Okay, so what is the point to this rambling? I have no point.   I just love the underlying magic of this day.  So Happy Hallowe'en! Or as the Wiccan say:  Samhain!   Go celebrate by taking a solitary bath (a ritual of purification) and decorate your hearth with autumn leaves, gourds, and pine cones. And sure, while you are at it, go eat some guilt free candy!!