our puppy really is a miracle. we met a guy who owned a male and really wanted to breed his male with our female, tinkerbell. every six months when she went into heat we got them together in hopes to make some magic happen. after one and a half years (three heats) still no love. on her fourth heat, we had her artificially inseminated. apparently, we should have left well enough alone and taken the hint, because the dogs DNA wasn't compatible. tinkerbell went into labor a week premature. the first puppy wasn't even in it's placenta sac and came out breached (feet first)... and stillborn. the next four puppies were also like that. the last two puppies came out swollen, black and deformed. we were absolutely devasted, crying, upset, very angry, you name it, we were it. we thought she was done. four hours later, she gave birth to two more, one was alive!!! and just as we had the lowest low we thought we could have that month, we also had the highest high that day when she came out and squeked!!! there was another but also black, swollen and deformed like before. the vet examined the bodies and determined that the deformed puppies were what's called water puppies. where there are two or more in a litter you NEVER breed those dogs together again because the DNA isn't compatible. he was very suprised that one of them made it because of everything that was going on, little did we know. hence her name, miracle, or mira for short. or if you ask ted (since we never did agree on a name) her name is sheera. either way, she's one determined little girl and we are so blessed to get to raise her!!!!!

found in a magazine:
"the earth is wicked again. im going to flood it and start over." God told noah. "build another ark and save two of every living thing." six months later, the Lord looked down and saw noah weeping in his yard, but no boat. "wheres the ark?" he roared. "im about to start the rain!"
"yeah, things have changed,"noah said,"first i needed a building permit. then some group said it was inhumane to put the animals in such a close space. then the EPA halted construction to conduct an environmental impact study on the flood." suddenly the clouds cleared and a rainbow stretched across the sky. "you mean you're not going to destroy the world?" noah asked. "what's the point?" God said. "looks like someone beat me to it."

if i know anyone who is going to see the movie aqua teen hunger force colon, the movie, my knowledge of that person ceases.

jesus didn't die on the cross for our sins so that i can watch t.v.

(toned down b/c i have younger friends) it's a good thing that guys are attracted to certain parts on girls because REALLY, some parts are just plain not attractive.

your mom.

ok, so. i heard this story on the news last night. a family in 2004 lost their son as a young man when he was killed going through a 3-way stop intersection. the person who hit him was working at the nearby jail, and didn't stop. the parents, along with the cost of a funeral for their son and, hello, along with the cost of losing their son, payed 3,000 dollars out of their own pockets to put up video cameras at this intersection. guess what the videos record. not only is nothing more being done now as opposed to then to hold driver's responsible for stopping at the intersection, but some of the most consistent breakers of the law here are law enforcement officers themselves, as the video shows police car after police car running the stop sign, in a couple instances, forcing other driver's who had the right of way (because they had been stopped and were attempting to enter the intersection, assuming the police officers were going to stop like they should) to stop for them in the middle of the intersection to avoid an accident. Question: why aren't law ENFORCEMENT officers and keepers of the PEACE not held to the same standards to the very law they are supposed to be enforcing?

the sheriff's office, or whoever, i didn't catch who responded to this newsstory, but whoever did said that they couldn't be sure who was driving the car or which patrol unit each car that sped through the 3-way stop intersection belonged to. (im sure it's way too much effort to check the logs and records, which they better be required to keep, you know, just the basics is all i expect, like, who has what car and is going where) so since it would be too much effort to actually TRY to do anything about this, it's better, easier, and the state of this office to sit back, do nothing, and let law enforcement officers continue blatantly breaking the law.

I think that this could be chalked up on a list entitled "what's wrong with america today" within the top five, or at least ten. Where is the accountability? Where is the authority? Has America become so degenerate as to not have a conscience, and as long as no authority is in place or is willing to tell you you're doing something wrong and no one will stand for it, that you can't actually be doing anything wrong? How does a law enforcement officer have the right to pull me over and give me a ticket for breaking traffiic laws that he/she himself/herself refuses to follow? But back to the story. A boy died in an accident that could have been prevented if the stop signs at that intersection were enfored. They were not enforced. They STILL aren't enforced. Horrendous? No question. Despicable? Absolutely. What am I going to do about it? make bumper stickers.

btw, to the prosecuting lawyer in the case against the "law enforcement" feel free to use this as your closing statement.

don't worry guys, i have my sedatives right here........

so i heard on the radio that rosie said on The View that "radical christianity is just as dangerous as radical islam" and there was this huge deal made about it afterwards. a talk show host was asking people whether they agreed with what she said or not. well, i do agree.

radical chrisitanity is just as dangerous as radical islam. just as is radical buddhism, radical wiccanism, etc etc. anytime people believe that they have the right to kill other human beings, or animals for that matter, in the name of their beliefs to me, is radical, and is dangerous. christians who blow up abortion clinics and kill doctors who perform abortions are no different than their counterparts in overseas countries who blow up churches and kill pastors for preaching the gospel, the good news. both are radical, and both are dangerous. christianity is a behavior, a way of behaving spritually, mentally, and physically towards ourselves and others. it's a religion/relationship based on love and acceptace of any person REGARDLESS of this, that or the other. regardless of anything. people who feel they are blowing up abortion clinics are NOT doing so out of love. again, anyone who feels that destruction of someone else's life or property is justified because of their belief system is a radical and is dangerous.

but i submit this to you. radical islam is not SOLEY about destroying anyone who holds a belief system other than their own, and to succeed in doing so reeps great rewards, but i've noticed that radical islam is also about destroying americans because we are americans. it is about destroying our way of life, and not just because we might be christian, buddhist, wiccan, or homosexual. it's because we're americans. that i think that that difference is a point that needs to be made. radical christianity may be just as dangerous as radical islam, but not for the same reasons, because THEY ARE NOT THE SAME THING!

please comment if you have anything to add, say, disagree with, etc.

well, i know i just recently posted a blog, but i realized a little later that there are a lot of other people here in new mexico with me that i might write about too.

here goes: the wheelers. the girls are growing up so fast! abby no longer has a curly fro, her hair is long enough to hand down, still curly, and adorable! she's talking a lot more and able to communicate more now too. morgan seems very mature and trin and anaka are becoming more and more considerate and behaved as far as their personalities becoming more even keeled, it seems. jon and gab are doing ok i think, still excited about the possibilities and looking for more and more ways to impact the community around us in positive ways for God. Jon has been working major OT on the houses he is fixing up, so pray for them that it gets done soon, and that he's able to work a little less and be home more. trust me, i know what it's like not to have a husband at home at night! and i don't even HAVE ANY kids!

kristean and raquel: raquel got a job she really likes working with children and kristean also has a job that's better than what he initially had when he first moved here. they are hopefully going to refinance soon, like ted and i, so hopefully that financial pressure will be off of them soon, so pray for them for that. other than that, they are doing well as far as i can tell. they bring the best desserts to the meetings! also kristean is now the ONLY worship person for our group, so we all sing along with him and his guitar on saturdays.

gabe recently went back to santa maria, i haven't talked to him yet to see how it was, but im sure he loved every second of it. he has a job that's also different than what he started here with. seems to be liking it fine. (who wouldn't like a steady source of income?) and he just bought the second season of the office on dvd so i hope to see him (and get that from him) soon.

belinda and cesar: i haven't seen them around that much lately. they haven't been at the saturday meetings in a while. so pray for them, belinda might be getting a better job than where she is now, so pray for her that it works out for her. and that cesar doesn't get too immersed in his work and not have time for anything else.

joey and drea: it's really cool having another couple around that we have a lot in common with. (mostly, no kids) they have been a lot of fun and a good source of entertainment on the weekends. i would say pray for them for next year when joey will be looking for another job, and pray for peace so they don't freak out worrying about it until then.

also, i've deleted some friends that i don't talk to. they probably can't even read this. so that's fine. i just wanted to mention them in case.

im also changing my name. sorry if there's confusion.

what up y'all? i thought i'd get on here to give my monthly update that no one reads. (im doing this for cory) anyway, let's see, what's new. we are hopefully going to be refinancing within the next two weeks and getting rid of about $400 in bills every month along with that. (we're taking out equity to pay off my car, too) so that is good news, something we've been waiting to do since, basically, we GOT here! ted has a "normal" schedule now, meaning he's home in the evenings and off on the weekends. it's so awesome, thanks everyone for praying for us, i really feel like things are getting easier for us. ted and i are spending more time together, so it's really helped me to feel closer to him and had allowed our marriage to be better than it was before. i have to admit, at first, i was feeling depressed and hopeless. i felt like i was stuck in my job that i hated and that i did not move to new mexico to be by myself for most of the week. then i got a new job, and ted got a new schedule, and i can tell we are both less tense and less stressed. so thanks God, for allowing us to be so blessed so soon after we move here! and i am making (or trying to make, and if you know me, it's not easy) new friends with girls i work with, who have been really helpful and supportive and inclusive. i feel like things are looking up for our family here, in new mexico. but my family back home...

i've always felt really blessed to have both sets of grandparents still alive. they still are! most people my age cannot say that, so i've felt like my family has been extremely blessed to have had this much time with our grandparents as we have. but we got the news maybe a month ago that my dad's dad, papa crain, had a growth on his lung. then it was found on his lymph node and liver too. then it was confirmed: cancer. the doctors say that he has 9 months at most to live, if he decides to have chemo. if he doesn't have chemo, then he has 6 months at most. i've been hearing from my family in santa that his health and strength has been deteriorating quickly. it's painful for me because im not there to give him hugs or tell him how much i've valued having him in my life, and how much he's done for me and how much i love him. i also feel bad for my family that does have to watch him basically waste away, and for him, who knows he doesn't have much time left, and knows that it's difficult for his family to watch. then there is my nana crain. i can't begin to imagine what she is going through, the pain her husband is in and the uncertainty of the future without him. none of us have ever known life without him! so i would ask for those of you that have been praying for us, if you could pray for my dad, my nana and my papa, and the rest of the family that is affected by this. help us to have peace and stay postive for papa. help us know the right things to say to each other in encouragement and understanding. our family has yet to lose someone so intricate in our family life, so this grief and sadness is somewhat new to us. thanks guys! let me know if anyone out there needs or wants prayer! holla at me! take care of each other......

guess what everyone?! i got a new gob! ill be starting at bank of america on august 28th. no more dirty, indifferent fedex ground to deal with weekly. yay! moving on to better for sure. thanks to all of you that wished me good luck and were praying for me. i really appreciate it! so that's some good news, something to look forward to for a change. there is a slight disadvantage though. i will be taking a pay cut, and a hour cut, at least at first. but the branch is soooo much closer to my house, ill definitely be able to save in gas. it was strange how i got the job too. the first interview i went to, someone else what chosen over me (i know, how could that happen?) but the recruiter that worked with me knew of another opening at another branch in the area, and got me an interview at that branch. which of course, is the one that picked me. plus, they seem a lot more lighthearted at the branch i was hired at, so all is well. i definitely will have opportunities to move up, and to get some more hours. but i was concerned because i really can't stand thinking about putting more pressure on ted that i'd be making less money but he said we will let God worry about it, and let God take care of us. sometimes, and lately, before interviewing and applying, i was feeling helpless and upset that our financial situation seemed to be in a constant state of precarious. but i am moving on! a better work enviornment will do wonders for my demeanor. getting to actually interact with co-workers? i haven't done that in five months! since im like, still NEW here, it will be really beneficial (like, worth more than money)to meet some people my age to hang out with and get to know.

plus, something else that's new and exciting is that my fam just recently visited us! yep, they came to check out the house and experience a little bit of new mexico. they went sightseeing to carlsbad caverns and played frisbee golf. one day, caleb, my bro, and ted (my husband, jk) went out to the back yard (which is basically a huge sandbox filled with rockhard dirt) and dug up some ramps in the sand to run the revo, teds remote control moster truck, on. they filmed it, of course. i think the fam really enjoyed it, i know i absolutely loved seeing them, it was pivotal for me, having my parents come stay at MY house. weird! but they were the best guests we could ever have asked for, gracious, neat and helpful. plus, a friend of the family, phil, who lives in texas, drove up to new mexico to see us all, instead of driving all the way to california. i think they all enjoyed the weather, believe it or not. it torrentially rained about 50% of the time they were here. which was a nice break from the heat wave in california, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUCKAS! (but it got to like 90 degress today, so i can't say sh**) hopefully, it won't be too long before we get to see them again (tomorrow? ok no. but soon)

that's bascially all i wanted to share that was new and exciting, except that this weekend, our best friend ever, cory, will be moving in to make room where he used to live, in jon and gabs house. jon and gab are hosting jons brother and his family (three kids) so cory's coming here to get out the way, for like a week. i see the consumption of substances suitable only for those over 21 occurring, staying up way too late, and smoking some hooka. maybe a lot of hooka. (white peach flavor is the best.)

as a side note: cory mentioned to me that in the Bible, God tells us that we aren't supposed to shove things in people's faces that they are offended by and/or disapprove of. (ex, smoking and drinking) i think it's important to not intentionally lose someones respect or good feelings, but this is also MY journal. im sorry if anything in here is offensive or too much to handle (it could be sooo much worse, omg) and my only advice if that is the case is: stop reading my journals. i will be true to myself and real to those around me to the best of my ability. if that is offensive, STOP READING! i know probably everyone is fine with this content, but that's my disclaimer. and i do think that cory is right, for the most part. just not when it comes to journals. i wouldn't even do it if i couldn't be real.

 

i also wanted to mention, as a little political aside: THANK GOD for intelligence and communicaiton that thwarts terrorist plots like the one brought to light yesterday. apparently, a plan was uncovered that included sneaking explosive devices of some kind (some say liquid explosives, that when the chemicals are mixed together, they explode. people were planning on sneaking these chemicals onto planes in some kinds of drink bottle or baby bottle) onto planes to blow them up. the targeted planes were flying from the U.K. to the U.S., and it's suspected that the explosion on the plane would've occured near specific U.S. cities, to wreak the ultimate amount of havoc and damage, not only to the plane, but to the cities they were exploded above. THANK GOD that they were caught and that their plan was thwarted, and innocent lives were saved. they were running a practice run yesterday, i heard that supposedly the time of actual attack was to be wed, august 16th. (look at the dates though, 9-11, and these guys were caught 8-10. strange huh, anyone else see a pattern here?) so basically i just wanted to say that if pres. bush decides that in order to keep american citezens safe, our phone lines need to be listened to, then i don't give a sh**! because it's for our own safety, and i know im not a terrorist, i have nothing to hide! (except that tax evasion. oops) so if someone at the airport takes away my lotion, nail clippers, or my gun, i say,"thank you" because i know that i am safer if everyone is being checked out. and f*** the liberal media for handicapping homeland security in doing their jobs in keeping american citezens safe in our own country. we're fighting this battle on two fronts, one oversees against islamo facists who want to kill us because we are american citezens and by dying to kill us, even if they kill their own children in doing so, they are somehow heroes. the other is against the beliefs held by people within our own country that we are not at war, people who want to kill us for being americans should be protected, not the us, the americans. im glad that bush is our president, even amidst the liberal media slants and ignorance an polls, he still chooses to do what he believes is safest for our country. for example, did anyone see on the news that there actually WERE weapons of mass destruction found in iraq? it just took a little longer to find than we thought it would. (funny, like they were hiding them or something) but no, that kind of stuff doesn't get reported. i guess the media doesn't think it's newsworthy, since it doesn't flow with the basic feeling that the war is wrong, it was all for oil (even though for some reason our gas prices are STILL increasing. what are they doing with all that oil anyway? oh, ya, it WASNT about that was it? NOW i remember. it had something to do with protecting ourselves against people who like to FLY PLANES INTO OUR BUILDINGS AND KILL US FOR BEING AMERICANS!)and that pres. bush should be impeached for invading ANY country whose leader is a proven threat to us and his own people, and has disregarded attempts to disarm a deranged person of his nuclear weapons. have we forgotten that another one of our inalienable rights, (apart from having the right to protest against the soldiers, even at their FUNERALS, against those that died for our right to do so and continue to die, get injured and put themselves in harms way for our right to protest at their funerals! omg people who do that should be arrested for treason in my opinion) is the unalienable right to defend ourselves and each other.

please feel free to comment or question anything i say. i think it's fine.

so that's it, this is me, signing off.

ok so im totally pissed off. i spend a half hour writing an awesome blog, then went back to edit it, and it disappeared. i will update you guys. im totally over it right now though. sorry.

hey y'all. i've been thinking it's time for another update. something i didn't mention last time, is if i happen to mention something or someone and you feel it's wrong, or you agree, or that i need to be corrected, please say so. im not afraid. nor will i jump down your throat. just a reminder that this is how i see it, and i have a responsibility to be completely, if not painfully, honest. do not expect rays of sunshine.

so, for the past couple weeks, i've been feeling depressed. i transferred to a fedex ground station in albuquerque, but it's totally different that the one i worked at in california. for example, after each new year, in california, you get a raise, the company lets you know they appreciate you. not here. also, in california, if you consistently don't do work indicitave of how many hours you've worked, you get moved to another position, or hounded until you quit. so again, not the same here. so i'm taking action and applying at banks and the like. im praying that God will put me where He wants me to be, somewhere i belong and can make a difference in my co-workers lives on His behalf. then there's ted's schedule, which has kept him at work on monday thru wednesday until later than 9:30 every night since we've gotten back from our visit to california. i was told that this move would be good for our marriage because it would cause us to cling to each other, but that's hard to do when Ted isn't home till late at night, and when he gets home, is tired. we've also had a challenge having our friend live with us, we explained to him that we couldn't support him financially, because we're paying alot more in bills. plus, he's an adult and should be paying some rent. well, he was out of a job for 2 out of the 2 1/2 months that he lived with us, and that put more stress on ted to support not only himself and me, but our friend as well. so ted felt pressure on him to work extra to afford our higher bills, which meant less time together, and what time we did spend was tense because of ted being stressed and me being bitter at the situation. so i've been throwing numerous pitty parties for myself these past couple weeks.

but now our friend has moved out. i know i will find another job soon. God has given me a peace that tells me that he will take care of me, this is just a rough patch in life, and while im feeling sorry for myself, im calling people for directions at work to their double wide trailers 18 miles outside of any town in the middle of nowhwere, new mexico. i realize that i am extrememly blessed and that God is right beside me, and like the poem says, has probably been carrying me for a couple of weeks. plus, we hang out at jon's house which is always entertaining.

oh and we went to a hooka bar last friday (like two days ago) it was so much fun! we had a great time. plus we drank some absinthe to help the hours go by more happily, it was cool.

so all is well, if you feel the need to pray, just pray for a new job for me, where im supposed to be, and a better work schedule for ted. but if not, don't worry, we've got God on our side, so we'll be ok for sure.