vis·ta
n.
1.
a. A distant view or prospect, especially one seen through an opening, as between rows of buildings or trees.
b. An avenue or other passage affording such a view.
2. An awareness of a range of time, events, or subjects;
a broad mental view:Microsoft launches their long awaited (five years) Vista operating system, today. In a move that ostensibly tries to subvert the recent Mac vs. PC ads with that
kid from Dodgeball and a Bill Gates doppleganger, Microsoft's Chairman talked with John Stewart on the Daily Show, last night. I watched the appearance and honestly I haven't been this perplexed since spotting a Windows 95 tutorial video starring Jennifer Aniston a few years ago in Blockbuster. The show amounted to a non-appearance because--granted I've been rather indifferent to the upgrade since I'm hesitant to build a new rig which may not see
much of an improvement anyway--to this day I have no idea what Vista has to offer besides connection to other media devices –which I can already do by various means—and more DRM. As a twenty-something and a techie (two coveted demographics in one!) Microsoft just hasn't reached me and the Daily Show appearance reinforces that.
During the interview, Gates looked sort of giddy, like when the cool kids ask the nerdy guy to sit with them at lunch (and subsequently pelt him with lunchmeat), which actually makes perfect sense when you think about it: in a movie based largely on his life, Pirates of Silicon Valley, the casting director basically told Bill Gates that he is such a hapless nerd that the only thespian equipped to pull off the role is Sixteen Candles, Breakfast Club veteran and perennial geek archetype, Anthony Michael Hall.
Anthony Fucking Michael Hall. I mean, Christ, it would have been
less insulting if they casted Gates as himself and wrote in a scene where he gets punched in the stomach by
Ted McGuinley. And I know I'm really digging deep here with my 'Bill Gates is a Dork' material, but under the locus of the Vista launch the issue has become very relevant. For all his faults, Steve jobs seems to have much more of a monopoly (!) than Gates on cool. I mean the dude did
prank Starbucks at his Macworld keynote, which while smacking of irony—"Hey, let's prank Starbucks, the epitome of virulent corporate ubiquity, it'll totally up my street cred with cynical iPod slinging, coffee-house slackers!"—it did elicit a genuine chuckle. So what we are really seeing here is a battle of images with Microsoft playing the nerdy, by the book, corporate giant and Apple the Too Cool for School rebel that was completely indifferent to mass-appeal until chicks started noticing his iPod.
The problem is that neither of these images is real. For all their stability problems, PCs are far more versatile and offer more freedom than Macs, mainly because you can actually
upgrade their components. And while Macs are stable, idiot friendly and aesthetically pleasing they are hardly the tools of the layman due to their restrictive price points ($500 for an iPhone?)
So alright, Bill Gates is a nerd that desperately craves acceptance; to be pulled out from the locker he's been stuffed in all his life, which, coincidently, not even the fortune of Microsoft can liberate him; And Steve Jobs doesn't play by the rules: We get it, Steve, you're not corporate. In fact, except for your millions of dollars, colossal ego and penchant for driving employees insane, you and I are really not that dissimilar, at all. Right.
Screw it. It's time to install Linux.