Crushing leaves with my dog this perfect afternoon, I don't know why I didn't think to bring my camera.  Sometimes the perfect photograph presents itself before my eyes... not a flash of it, but the perfect picture, lingers, teases and haunts me later.  Yet. No camera. Today, someone had hoisted a small pumpkin onto a wooden bird feeder ledge attached to their giant pine tree.  A squirrel had nibbled a huge hole in the side facing me on the sidewalk and was entering to get seeds, and then chomping on them for minutes at a time.  Another squirrel came down and chased the first one away and then grasping the sides of the hole, as I would not to fall in, it gobbled at the sides of it.  Sweet.

Later in my jaunt, an orange sombrero filled the would-be frame of my non-existent camera.  A lady in her garden with new blue jeans, a deep turquoise t-shirt and that yellow-orange hat was working her pile of leaves.  I paused to watch the squirrels in her tree houses perched above her head, and two sparrows flit around below her knees.  Like some Colorado fashioned scene from Cinderella.  I love Autumn.  Ummmmm.

Years ago I was enthralled by the story of Zipporah's daughters who appealed a Hebrew law to Joshua and the judges, who in turn deferred the question to Moses that women should be able to inherit their father's land.  Moses, to his credit, deferred to God, and God answered, "What Zelophehad's daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father's relatives and turn their father's inheritance over to them."

At that time, I realized the importance of asking God and the human authorities for what I believed to be right.  If I never sought the truth I would never know it, except by accident or stumbling over it.  Also, the whole story seemed to refute the whole idea that we are not to ask for something selfishly.  These girls asked for their inheritance specifically because it would directly affect them and improve their standing in their community, enlarge their boundaries and land, and give them a way to directly interact with their tribe's future.

Here's the story:  Numbers 27:1 The daughters of Zelophehad son of Hepher, the son of Gilead, the son of Makir, the son of Manasseh, belonged to the clans of Manasseh son of Joseph. The names of the daughters were Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah and Tirzah. They approached 2 the entrance to the Tent of Meeting and stood before Moses, Eleazar the priest, the leaders and the whole assembly, and said, 3 "Our father died in the desert. He was not among Korah's followers, who banded together against the LORD, but he died for his own sin and left no sons. 4 Why should our father's name disappear from his clan because he had no son? Give us property among our father's relatives."

5 So Moses brought their case before the LORD 6 and the LORD said to him, 7 "What Zelophehad's daughters are saying is right. You must certainly give them property as an inheritance among their father's relatives and turn their father's inheritance over to them.

8 "Say to the Israelites, 'If a man dies and leaves no son, turn his inheritance over to his daughter. 9 If he has no daughter, give his inheritance to his brothers. 10 If he has no brothers, give his inheritance to his father's brothers. 11 If his father had no brothers, give his inheritance to the nearest relative in his clan, that he may possess it. This is to be a legal requirement for the Israelites, as the LORD commanded Moses.'"

(from New International Version)

It has been through the reading of the Word of God, that he has often spoken, comforted, and encouraged me to do what was in his providence for me to accomplish and do. I have learned that I am not only living for myself, but also for a community, and perhaps even for legacy or posterity.  What a thought.  I might live my life in a way that would really matter!  I am impressed at just how living and current to my life his Word really is.

A funny thing that used to happed during the first house I built, where I really did a lot of the framing of doors and headers and windows and floors, -- every time I would pick up my Bible, it would fall open to this proverb, " A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands."  Proverbs 14:1 (New International Version)  When, I was super discouraged and confounded by all the questions and failures along the way, the second part of the proverb really encouraged me not to give up and wall away, or basically, to be the tool that tears down my own home.

There is the formidable standard of a wife at the end of Proverbs.  Some women are put off by all she does.  I do not take the proverb as a maxim, but rather as a meditation and counsel of what to aim for.  In this chapter 31, it says,

10 A wife of noble character who can find?

She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her

and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,

all the days of her life.

and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,

bringing her food from afar.

16 She considers a field and buys it;

out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

(from New International Version)

I really could not escape from the strong impression that I was to become a wise woman who strengthened her arms and enlarged her territory and bought a piece of property on which to build a home that would become a refuge not only for myself and Bill, but also for others.  These are the two passages that got me started and carried me through the first building of a home.

Last year, when I had such a strong desire to put all that I had learned from the first try into the "real deal," the Lord used more passages in his Word to encourage me very specifically. 

Zelophehad's daughters are recorded  by name again in the book of 1 Chronicles, chapter seven.  Last year, I stumbled on those friendly, heroines' names and then kept reading. Just a couple of paragraphs down.

I saw another important story about a woman, not in the tribe of Manassa, but in his brother's clan, the tribe of Ephriam.

1 Chron 7:20 The descendants of Ephr..

Shuthelah, Bered his son,

Tahath his son, Eleadah his son,

Tahath his son, 21 Zabad his son

and Shuthelah his son.

 

Ezer and Elead were killed by the native-born men of Gath, when they went down to seize their livestock. 22 Their father Ephraim mourned for them many days, and his relatives came to comfort him. 23 Then he lay with his wife again, and she became pregnant and gave birth to a son. He named him Beriah, because there had been misfortune in his family. 24 His daughter was Sheerah, who built Lower and Upper Beth Horon as well as Uzzen Sheerah.

(from New International Version)

This is the first mention of a female contractor or possibly the first female civil engineer!  I was astounded.  To build a house, as I had done was a small accomplishment compared to this.  Sheerah, Ephriam's daughter, built an entire town, both the upper and lower portions of it, and another place called Uzzen Sheerah… her namesake.  Wonder of wonders!  Not only was this woman intelligent, but she held power, and with that power, she built a town for her tribe and also a namesake for herself.   I cannot even tell you how this thought freed me to try something new, something that was truly my dream hospitality house.

The HUD house I found and put an offer in to buy was inspected already, but there were a few things I wanted to be sure of myself before I bought the blight.  One was the water flow.  Pipes, I could have fixed, but the water flow itself needed to be strong.  At my first house, I hadn't recognized the importance of water flow until I wanted to put in a sprinkler system.  At that point, I discovered that the flow was not strong enough there to allow for a sprinkler system.  No wonder when someone took a shower in the West wing, the person standing in the shower in the East wing would yelp.  It would go down to a trickle so that rinsing off the soap was impossible for a couple of minutes standing in the chill.

So, imagine my surprise to discover the story of this clever woman in my Bible!

Josh 15:14 From Hebron Caleb drove out the three Anakites-Sheshai, Ahiman and Talmai-descendants of Anak. 15 From there he marched against the people living in Debir (formerly called Kiriath Sepher). 16 And Caleb said, "I will give my daughter Acsah in marriage to the man who attacks and captures Kiriath Sepher." 17 Othniel son of Kenaz, Caleb's brother, took it; so Caleb gave his daughter Acsah to him in marriage.

18 One day when she came to Othniel, she urged him to ask her father for a field. When she got off her donkey, Caleb asked her, "What can I do for you?"

19 She replied, "Do me a special favor. Since you have given me land in the Negev, give me also springs of water." So Caleb gave her the upper and lower springs.

(from New International Version)

The story is repeated in the book of Judges.  Apparently, this woman named Ascah impressed even the biographer of the judges of Israel.

Judg 1:12 And Caleb said, "I will give my daughter Acsah in marriage to the man who attacks and captures Kiriath Sepher." 13 Othniel son of Kenaz, Caleb's younger brother, took it; so Caleb gave his daughter Acsah to him in marriage.

14 One day when she came to Othniel, she urged him to ask her father for a field. When she got off her donkey, Caleb asked her, "What can I do for you?"

15 She replied, "Do me a special favor. Since you have given me land in the Negev, give me also springs of water." Then Caleb gave her the upper and lower springs.

(from New International Version)

So, here is another woman with forethought and an ability to ask.  Acsah knew that land is practically worthless without water.  Her father did not initially offer it to her, (loving dad!) but she knew from her quick ears, that her father's gift would be worthless without springs of water for them.  People cannot survive without water.  Livestock cannot survive and neither can crops.  So she says, almost tongue and cheek, "Daddy, do me a special favor, and give me the ability to survive and thrive."

I've learned from having meager water flow on some mountain land we purchased, and also on our city property, that water is a huge part of the value of the purchase.  We could only build a small house on the land in the mountains because the water well did not provide the flow to provide for more.  I sat on a board of directors of a Christian ranch on the Eastern Colorado plains that could not get rights for enough water to provide for all those foster homes they intended to build there.  Water is crucial.

One thing about appealing to leaders. Especially family leaders for some odd reason.  It often stirs up the waters.  Others don't like it.  They would have preferred if you simply let sleeping dogs lie and gyp yourself out of your inheritance, and the growth of your faith in God for answering and providing for you.  It worked out fine for Acsah to appeal to her father.  In the case of Zelophehad's daughters, the uncles and boy cousins got together and proposed a scenario (that was a real issue, not fabricated) to try to salvage their lot.  They brought their own appeal of God's decision to Moses. 

So, Moses went back to God, God told Moses to amend the primary law with a caveat in order to keep the tribe from becoming intermarried and thus lose their land to other tribes.  What use would a pot-holed acreage be to farmers, if in five different places, the land was surrounded by fences and another tribe's law and economy attached to it?  Clansmen in Ireland and Wales know about these issues.  So, God helped the tribe of Manassa out, and all the girls saw the sense in it and chose wisely to marry within their tribe so that their tribe would live peaceably and wholly as one.  Here's what happened.

Num 36:1 The family heads of the clan of Gilead son of Makir, the son of Manasseh, who were from the clans of the descendants of Joseph, came and spoke before Moses and the leaders, the heads of the Israelite families. 2 They said, "When the LORD commanded my lord to give the land as an inheritance to the Israelites by lot, he ordered you to give the inheritance of our brother Zelophehad to his daughters. 3 Now suppose they marry men from other Israelite tribes; then their inheritance will be taken from our ancestral inheritance and added to that of the tribe they marry into. And so part of the inheritance allotted to us will be taken away. 4 When the Year of Jubilee for the Israelites comes, their inheritance will be added to that of the tribe into which they marry, and their property will be taken from the tribal inheritance of our forefathers."

5 Then at the LORD's command Moses gave this order to the Israelites: "What the tribe of the descendants of Joseph is saying is right. 6 This is what the LORD commands for Zelophehad's daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within the tribal clan of their father. 7 No inheritance in Israel is to pass from tribe to tribe, for every Israelite shall keep the tribal land inherited from his forefathers. 8 Every daughter who inherits land in any Israelite tribe must marry someone in her father's tribal clan, so that every Israelite will possess the inheritance of his fathers. 9 No inheritance may pass from tribe to tribe, for each Israelite tribe is to keep the land it inherits."

10 So Zelophehad's daughters did as the LORD commanded Moses. 11 Zelophehad's daughters--Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milcah and Noah--married their cousins on their father's side. 12 They married within the clans of the descendants of Manasseh son of Joseph, and their inheritance remained in their father's clan and tribe.

(from New International Version)

The stories of Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milcah and Noah, and Caleb's daughter Ascah and Ephriam's daughter, Sheerah all encouraged me and taught me very special things that I used in building my Home.

1. I deserve my inheritance from the Lord because he knows that people cannot accomplish things without the right tools.  I need to ask and I need to be a good steward of what he gives me;
2. I am a member of a community to which I owe my responsibilities;
3. I want to honor my husband and do him good and not evil all his days;
4. Troubles arise whenever a turtle sticks out its neck, but if I keep seeking the Lord, his justice and purpose for me in it, He is faithful to accomplish it;
5. Women are each uniquely special and uniquely gifted.  Just because some women are called to marry does not mean it is for all women.  Just because some women are given children does not mean all are, and just because God wanted Sheerah to build an entire town does not mean that I am to try to do that.  God has proven himself to be very personal to me, not only my personal creator, and personal savior, but also my Lord and director in this life.
6. Men in authority are there to bless the community, and I need to appeal to them if I am being negatively affected by some law.  (While still trusting the Lord over all).

My blog will appear at this new MySpace site beginning tomorrow. 

http://myspace.com/lauralarkinsmusic

All of the previous blogs are there too!  Save this new space to your favorites so you can find me again!  This new site has my music on it so you can download it to YOUR space.  Cool huh!  I also need you to be my friends on the new space... I'm feeling a little lonely...

http://myspace.com/lauralarkinsmusic

I am reading a Catholic classic called, "Sorrow Built a Bridge" by Katherine Burton, Doubleday. Well researched and documented, it's really about the life of the youngest Hawthorn child, Rose, or as she was later to be known, "Mother Alphonsa".  But, near the end of the first third of the book, when the Nathanial Hawthorn and his family are just being introduced to various religions in Europe (1857) because at their home in Concord, MA, only had Puritan churches and the spiritualist movements are going on, Mrs. Hawthorn comes out of a four hour long English church service with this: 

But it was the architecture that had especially appalled Mrs. Hawthorn. "That barnlike house to give the Lord when there are near at had such splendid houses for men.  Why don't they render their best homage in art and architecture to our Supreme Father as well as their best devotion?"

I've been looking on line and reading about Free Grace.  http://freegracenetwork.com/  I thought this website was very helpful because Lewis Sperry Chafer analyzes (in short) all the verses that include repentance.  Here is a bit from the site.
Perhaps in the future Church historians will demonstrate that free grace theology is not a new innovation but has been not only the historic faith of the church for the first four centuries, but that FG theology has also been a viable and well represented theological position throughout much of the Church's history in the west.

The purpose of this post is to put forth the positive argument that FG theology did not suddenly "spring up" out of nowhere within the last few decades but in fact finds adequate representation going back into the 19th century in America.

Lewis Sperry Chafer founded the Evangelical Theological College, later known as Dallas Theological Seminary, in 1924. In several of his volumes, including Grace and Salvation Chafer set forth many of the basic positions that are under attack by Reformed theologians today. This lengthy excerpt is taken from the fifth chapter of Lewis Sperry Chafer's little volume, Salvation, which was published in 1917. The chapter itself is titled "The One Condition of Salvation." Read carefully the seventh paragraph which surfaces the issue of repentance.

Sixth, It is an error to require repentance as a preliminary act preceding and separate from believing. Such insistence is too often based on Scripture which is addressed to the covenant people, Israel. They, like Christians, being covenant people, are privileged to return to God on the grounds of their covenant by repentance. There is much Scripture both in the Old Testament and in the New that calls that one nation to its long-predicted repentance, and it is usually placed before them as a separate unrelated act that is required. The preaching of John the Baptist, of Jesus and the early message of the disciples was, "repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand"; but it was addressed only to Israel (Mat 10:5, 6). This appeal was continued to that nation even after the day of Pentecost or so long as the Gospel was preached to Israel alone (Act 2:38; 3:19. See also 5:31). Paul mentions also a separate act of repentance in the experience of Christians (2Cr 7:8-11. See also Rev 2:5).

The conditions are very different, however, in the case of an unsaved Gentile, who is a "stranger to the covenants of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world," and equally different for any individual Jew in this age. In presenting the Gospel to these classes there are one hundred and fifteen passages at least wherein the word "believe" is used alone and apart from every other condition as the only way of salvation. In addition to this there are upwards of thirty-five passages wherein its synonym "faith" is used. There are but six passages addressed to unsaved Gentiles wherein repentance appears either alone or in combination with other issues. These are: God "now commandeth all men everywhere to repent" (Act 17:30); "Repent and turn to God" (Act 26:20); "Repentance unto life" (Act 11:18); "Repentance and faith" (Act 20:21); "The goodness of God that leadeth to repentance" (Rom 2:4); "All should come to repentance" (2Pe 3:9). That repentance is not saving is evidenced in the case of Judas, who repented and yet went to perdition. It is worthy of note that there are twenty-five passages wherein "believe," or "faith," is given as the only condition of Gentile salvation to one passage wherein repentance appears for any reason whatsoever. It would seem evident from this fact that repentance, like all other issues, is almost universally omitted from the great salvation passages, that such repentance as is possible to an unsaved person in this dispensation is included in the one act of believing. The statement in 1Th 1:9, 10 may serve as an illustration. Here it is said: "Ye turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God; and to wait for his Son from heaven." This represents one all-inclusive act. Such is the accuracy of the Bible. Had the record been that they turned from idols to God, the act of turning from idols would have stood alone as a preliminary undertaking and would suggest a separate work of repentance. In Act 11:21 it is stated that many "believed and turned to God." This is not difficult to understand. The born-again person might thus turn to God after believing; but there is no revelation that God is expecting works meet for anything from that which He has termed to be dead in trespasses and sins.

An evaluation of Chafer's earlier writings may reveal the sources of his teaching and show the development of his thought over the course of time. This brief excerpt demonstrates that unless Chafer came up with these views on his own, apart from collaboration or correspondence with any other advocates, the positions being advanced today by free grace adherents have a rich and respectable intellectual history stretching back at least a century.

The entire text of Chafer's Salvation is available online at the Blue Letter Bible website.

The Arminian thinks that if he believes in Jesus and does good works he has eternal life, and believes he met the biblical requirement to attain that life. Yet, he has not really believed in the only saving proposition stated in the Bible: that all who simply believe in Jesus have everlasting life that can never be lost (see John 1:12; 2:23; 3:16; 5:24; 6:40, 47; 11:25-27; 20:31; Rom 3:21–4:25; Eph 2:8-9; Titus 3:5; Rev 22:17)

The same could be said of many Calvinists. This leads to a key question. If eternal life is freely given to all who simply believe in Jesus for eternal life, then what is the role of repentance in gaining eternal life? This leads to the fourth Free Grace distinctive. 

4.  Turning from sins is not faith and thus isn't a condition of eternal life

         Free Grace advocates must admit that turning from sins is not faith and is not a condition of eternal life. Please note: turning from sins is part of a Christian requirement not a requirement to become a Christian. Repentance is not a condition of eternal life according to Basic Free Grace Theology.

Conclusion: Basics of Free Grace Theology

Gets its Name From the Fact that Eternal Life Is Truly a Free Gift Received by Anyone Who Simply

Believe in Jesus for it 

         Several pithy sayings express the Basics of Free Grace Theology:

·      Faith alone in Christ alone.

·      Assurance is of the essence of saving faith

·      Eternal life is absolutely free.

·      Eternal life is eternal.

·      Faith is simple assent.

·      All who simply believe in Jesus have everlasting life.

·      There really are no strings attached.

·      Our works play no role in justification or assurance.

·      Accountability doesn't contradict Free Grace.

·      Major failure is possible in the Christian life.

·      No matter what a believer does, he is eternally secure.

·      Turning from sins is not a condition of eternal life.

·      I'm sure I'm eternally secure because I believe in Jesus and all who believe in Him have everlasting life.

·      Perseverance is a rewards issue, not an eternal life issue.

I just finished reading Chapter 12 (The destiny of the unevangelized) in the book, Across the Spectrum by Boyd and Eddy.  It was extremely helpful to my question of hell in light of good people or babies who die or of many historical years on this globe with people, tribes who have never heard about Jesus.   I don't want to throw out my Christianity just because so many people like to say, "all roads lead to heaven."  I simply don't believe that because of the sacrifice that God the Son made for me, for us with his very life.  My first thought as I began reading was, "Thank you Lord for scholars who take your word seriously and can lead me through the examination of the passages that matter."

 

I guess it is the Restrictivest View I must have grown up with, because all of the verses and arguments resonate deeply with me, and even the reasoning that we must resist making ourselves judges of God or his will just because he has not chosen some was an argument I have recently heard.  "We must give back to God what he has given to us, free will, free choice" even if we don't understand it.  It is amusing to me, that even in this fundamentalist view of salvation, there is still quite a bit of mystery there that people are willing to live with.  The down side of this view is the inherent sense of being okay with judging others because we are the chosen and they are not, and thus much of the militant self-righteousness that we see throughout classic American Christianity. 

The pertinent verses of this view are "There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among mortals by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12), and "The only mediator between God and humans is Jesus Christ" (1 Tim. 2:5).  Jesus himself taught, "I am the way, the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6). Those who believed this view include: Augustine, Calvin, Jon Edwards, and modern theologians include Henry, R.C. Sproul and Nash.

The Universal Opportunity View is the one which believes those key verses above, but allows for dreams, visions, miracles, visits by angels and even Christ himself when there is no missionary or Bible available to reach out so that everyone does encounter the good news before he or she dies.  That, because of God's passion for all, yet because of the exclusivity of salvation through Jesus work on the cross, he has provided for supernatural opportunities for all people who do not have a human messenger.

This view is supported biblically in many ways, the Ethiopian eunuch, the Gentile Cornelius, in the Old Testament, God spoke to pagans in Genesis and Daniel.  According to Deut 29:29, if God wants to work through other means, that is his prerogative.  But Christians must continue to spread the good news because God has commanded it and it is the most personal and reasonable way for people to learn and grow in the Lord.  Those who believed this view include: Thomas Aquinas, Jacob Arminius, John Henry Newman, and modern theologians include Norman Geisler and Robert Lightner.

Then, there is the Postmortem Evangelism View.  This view has surprising biblical support as well.  It holds that the Creator lovingly and persistently pursues humans and does not want any to perish.  They believe that those who use this argument against it, "it is appointed for humans to die once, and after that the judgment" are reading too much into the verse to extrapolate that the judgment comes immediately after death, or that there cannot be something in between death and judgment.  It is significant that both the Nicene and the Apostles' Creed state that Christ descended into hell.  Paul mentions this in Romans 10:7 and Ephesians 4:8-9 where he states the fact, that Christ, "descended into the lower parts of the earth" before he "made captivity itself a captive."

Another example to lend weight to this view is John 5:25 "the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those (spirits) who hear will live." Further, Jesus spoke of a sin that would not be forgiven "either in this age or the age to come (Matt 12:32) which assumes that there are other sins to be forgiven in the age to come.  Finally, those who did not praise God in life will praise him after death, Phil 2:10 and Rev. 5:13.  Those who uphold this view also believe that it is significant that the gates of the new Jerusalem will never be shut (Rev. 21:25).

If Christians can believe the most important miracle of all that Christ conquered death, and that Christ holds the keys of Death and Hades (Rev. 1:18) why does it seem insurmountable that he would passionately pursue people into the grave?   Peter seems to be a proponent of this view himself when he writes 1 Peter 3:18-20 about the "spirits in prison" and later, "For this is the reason the gospel was proclaimed even to the dead, so that, though they had been judged in the flesh as everyone is judged, they might live in the spirit as God does." Peter 4:6.

Those who believed this view include: Hippolytus, Clement, Origen, Athanasius, Gregory and Ambrose, and more modern theologians include: George McDonald, Don Bloesch, Gabriel Fackre and Stephen Davis.

The fourth view is the Inclusivist View.  It is not a pluralist position, which holds that all roads lead to God.  The inclusivists believe in accord with the above three viewpoints that pluralism is both unbiblical and incoherent. 

What they do believe is that all people have some degree of light available to them, and this light is Jesus Christ, (John 1:9, 8:12)  Also, since Jesus is the fulfillment of the law, and all law is written on our hearts, (Rom. 2:14-16) and also because God's eternal power and divine nature can be understood and seen through the things he has made (Rom. 1:20), Inclusivists believe that God rewards all who diligently seek him, (Acts 17:26-27 and Heb 11:6)  They include Old Testament  saints who had faith in God, yet pre-dated Christ and therefore could not understand him.  They point to John's quote of Jesus who spoke of "sheep" who "do not belong to this fold". (John 10:16).

They point out the dire warning about judgment day that Christ will welcome those who did not know him explicitly yet, by implicit faith, clothes him, fed him and visited him in prison, while conversely, some who actually knew Jesus, and assumed salvation, realized that their faith was disingenuous because they failed to demonstrate Christ-like works.  The judgment day, Jesus is saying, is going to have some surprises and twists and turns.

The inclusivist view is well represented in church history, while never the pervasive view, and it was embraced by Justin Martyr, Ulrich Zwingli, John Wesley, and C.S. Lewis. Evangelists today who defend this view are: Sir Norman Anderson, Clark Pinnock and John Sanders.

My initial reaction to reading this discussion is:  God is great, God is good, God is love and I am enthralled to know that he reaches into history, into death and into people who have no human messenger to extend his love and revelation of his sacrifice to atone for all sin and to bring all who are willing to heaven with him.  My theology has definitely expanded and with it my faith.  How full and vibrant the Bible is!

I just returned from walking my dog.  In her old age, she is no longer content to prance along beside me.  Bad habits have crept up.  She wants to stop every two feet to sniff her world and learn a thing or two.  But, of course, this stop and go and learching on her leash makes for a very uncomfortable routine between us.

So, sometimes I drop the leash and let her do her thing, sniffing around trees in the park, exploring the ivy clinging to the fences at the edge of the park and kicking around the dog doo.  I keep walking to keep my heart rate pumping.  She keeps looking up and heading my direction because she knows to follow me is her best and safest option, but my speed and agenda are simply not her speed and agenda.  Also, she loves that last sprint at the other side of the park where I call her name and she comes running.

In freedom comes responsibility and I have to be attentive to children coming our way, or other dogs which might become aggressive, or adults who become irritated if they see a dog off-leash.  My puppy never bites, but she gets way too curious and excited and can really bother some people.

So, when I see any of these threats on the horizon, I go fetch my puppy and keep the leash reigned in tight to my leg and guide her through the threat.

Today when I was walking my dog, it became a metephore of my walks with the Lord.

An acquaintance wrote a Bible study book which got published and sold in stores this year.  When she attended the christian book sellers conference in July, however, she discovered that she had few credits or history to her name on the book's back page, and worse, she'd lost her title.  Now, anyone who is a fine writer and who has submitted their work without letters behind their name to a christian publishing house knows that it finds its way into the refuse bin very quickly.  So, you might understand why this talented author was distressed to find out that she simply "lived with her husband and two kids somewhere in Colorado" and besides that, had nothing of much interest to recognize.

In fact, she was a co-pastor at one of the largest metropolitan churches until they hired a new lead pastor who did not believe that women should be, or perhaps could be, pastors.  Since stepping down, she has co-pastored a very small church in the Denver metro area for people who have also been jilted by churchianity.  And that, exactly, is the precise reason the publishing house decided to take her title of pastor and her years of pastoral experience off of the book's back page.  They had been pressured by high powered denominational book chains who promised to black list the study book if it were known that the author was in fact, a female pastor.

By the luck of the draw, I was born an American female of inferior gifting and brains.  I may have studied and earned my degree at a Bible College whose disposition it was not to allow the college women to take homiletics, the course in preaching three-part sermons. Instead, we were allowed to buy a couple of credits in public speaking.

I say "by the luck of the draw" because after I earned my degree, I was unemployable as a female to take any place of leadership within a church.  I was not required to become ordained and I merely had to sign the school's declaration of faith, basically the apostle's creed, before being handed my walking papers en bow tie.

After graduation, I found that having moved to another city, I was no longer attending my childhood church, which was Conservative Baptist.  Emphasis on the Conservative, except for the pastor who was quite jolly, and for whom to this day I find heaps of affection.

I found myself attending a small community church which had no lead pastor at all.  They called themselves a bretherin church. As far as their doctrine was concerned, they seemed sound to me.  As far as community life and apparent mutual respect, we did.  One of the elders helped me immensely during my parents' divorce, and even went so far as to visit my father and converse with him about the divorce, about his views and about their interpretations of the biblical passages regarding divorce.  I was very impressed. The reason I stopped attending there was basically because they wouldn't allow me to sing my home made songs unless I sang with a head scarf on, and my darned headscarf inevitably came sliding down to get wedged awkwardly between my head and my guitar strap. The episodes were so rediculous that at that time (when I also disbelieved that God had a sense of humor) I felt the whole head scarf thing could not be biblical.  Especially after studying it as far as I was able.  I never quite settled on the issue til many years later, but I felt comforted that lauded scholars interpreted that passage as being either a cultural phenominon, or else one of the freakesh passages in Greek that simply is not understandable in today's English.

Quite soon, I found myself with a more liberal minded ministry called Youth For Christ, going to South Africa.  In that country, our indigenous band traveled constantly, singing in all manner of situations and schools and town halls and outdoor theaters, and on Sundays, to all manner of churches.  Churches I had never heard of before.  Too bad they can't teach you about all these denominations in Bible school.  But all in all I preferred being taught the Bible rather than loads of theology anyway.

My last year in Africa, I volleyed between a large Community church, a small bretherin church and a midsized charismatic Baptist church.  Until then, I was unaware that there were varieties of bretherin and that each continent has its own brand of Baptist.  I felt most a part of the family at the Baptist church because we got to know each other well after church at Sunday brais, or barbecues, which were the equivalent of American Sunday potlucks.  I grieved loosing that church body when I emigrated back to America.  The bretherin church sat encircle and drank real wine for communion and all the women had head coverings and they all enjoyed staring me down because I didn't wear one but I took communion.  Eventually, okay, after three attempts, I quit trying there.  Nobody knew me, so I didn't bother to introduce myself when I disappeared.

The one outstanding experience from that bretherin church, however, was that one of the elders hunted me down miles away at a YFC campground to beg my forgiveness.  He said that they, as a group, had realized their error regarding me and had commissioned him to come find me to apologise and ask that they be given another chance.  It spoke volumes to me that the body acted jointly, that the body felt I was important enough to apologise to, and that an elder had that much humility as to seek me out for that purpose. 

When I came back to Denver with a nickel in my pocket, stone broke from the fool hardiness of ministry, I went that first Sunday back to my bretherin church.  The pastor had written me two letters in the two years I'd been gone, and I felt some kind of bond there.  But there I sat in a rather large audience, which now had a head pastor, and nobody said boo.  My two best girlfriends were off to other churches, and the pastor did not acknowledge either that I had been gone, or that I had returned, and for all I knew, since they had not chosen to support me as a missionary, they apparently did not feel I needed to be acknowledged in any way upon my return.  I turned my attentions to a very large emerging church.

Cherry Hills Community Church had a pastor I admired because he actually memorized the whole passage that he was to preach on that week, and he would quote it in a literary, heartfelt manner before teaching on it.  Secondly, it was such a large church, I could evaporate in the crowd.  I was actually evaporated in everyday life anyway, so it was kind of nice not to be needed or used, just for my talent or because I was American.  Evaporated, the male leaders could not force me to do things against my will like work in a church ministry that I did not belong to and had no heart for, especially not on my day off.  I had been subjected to those orders in YFC in South Africa, which was the real reason I never made it back to visit the bretherin church who apologised. 

Soon, however, I was asked to lead singing for the singles group, and because I was poor, I negotiated a sum of money to lead singing.  After that, I auditioned and was placed in a very jazzy gospel group which sang regular specials for the uncommonly large church for free.  Soon after being inducted into this exciting little group, we learned that we were being fashioned after an even larger church in Willow Creek, Illinois.  Gemstone colors were what we could wear safely thereafter.  I learned the group was more of a Christian show group. 

Christian music had changed drastically since I departed America and returned.  It went from Jesus music to wholly corporate minded secularly mimiced styles of music and styles of radio promotion and styles of hip success.  I quickly burned out on that version of Christian music.  The new christian music was not allowed to be sung in the minors, and it had to end up in an exileration of truth or praise to God.  I didn't see a thing wrong with the tunes, but personally, they were not tunes made for me to sing.  Besides, I could play my own guitar for acompaniment, and that was  not cool when there was a canned band on tape waiting to back up the singer who sang all the rifts just like the christain idol who made the song famous.

At that time, praise and worship bands were becoming a big thing in churches.  I had a lot of experience with musical worship and praise my entire life, so I decided that if God could use me, I would just do that where ever I ended up.  I ended up helping a baby church of CHCC get started and on their feet.  I was doing it to please the Lord, but there was an insidious scandal abroad in churches now.  "Worship" was no longer giving your daily living self to God, but rather a Sunday corporate act that had to be so polished as to compete with all the other "growing" churches in the city.  People actually flocked to a church not because of the body life or the theology, but for the worship band.  Our new church also happened to have a very funny pastor.  That was where I finally decided that God indeed laughed in every way that we find ourselves laughing as he created fun and laughter and many many reasons to laugh on earth.

One of the ironic things that happened to me at that fledgling church that exploded in growth and became a name of it's own in a very rich part of town, was that when I had some music ministry ideas, outreach ideas, to pass to the pastor for consideration and perhaps authorization, he leaned back in his chair and looked at the ceiling and said, "Laura.  Some of us have gifts of leadership.  I have that gift.  If I were to open a gas station on this corner, people would be standing in line for gas.  On the other hand, if you are looking to become some sort of music leader, I will tell you right now that that is simply not going to happen in this church."  That was such an amusing interview that I never bothered to bother him again.  He became someone I put up with in the church and I was always amazed when God used his message to speak to me personally, but then, out of the mouth of asses...

That church was the epitomy of a great seminar.  It never was the body of Christ to me, though I longed to connect with people there and feel a sense of belonging.  It was a weird place and time for me spiritually because I was always recognized for being up front and leading worship, but I was never one of the leaders and never found community there.  In worship practice, I would sing next to people with no name.  They rotated in and out and we were kept in the dark as to the strategy of that. We were treated like instruments.  Inanimate objects they never had to pay, and yet would demand the service that would bring people to their church and prep them for the main entertainment. That pastor had no feeling for missions or missionaries until much later.  He was also the denomination's class clown who got repremanded for wearing shorts to mandatory meetings, sitting in the back and escaping to vacation with his family.

This week I discovered that it is this same pastor who has been charged with the reins of a hearing against a fellow pastor of the same EPC denomination.  The fellow pastor is faithful to the Word and yet has desired accountability of his peers (other pastors in the EPC). In his studies, he has come down on the outside of what is considered "Presbyterian".  Opps!  Faulty strategy... ummm.  It is my old pastor who holds the position that they never made the fellow pastor sign into the EPC fellowship, and so why, simply does he not resign and evaporate this good named 20 year old denomination?  For goodness sake, we all know that our programs, our systems, especially our systems of theology are more important that the casualty of one lost.  One ruin.  One disfellowshipped. He's just another individual who can simply find another church if this one doesn't fit his needs.  No hard feelings.  I can just hear my old pastor with those well-worn quips.  Of course that property and that huge mortgage may present some sort of hell to a church of immense reputation which has lost half its members.

It's the Luck of the Draw that I was born female in this vile Americana styled church system.  For goodness sake, I was allowed to grow and change and learn my faith quietly in my various corners.  I was allowed to change denominations without harm, or at least with very little shame.  I was allowed to sit as an evaporated one in the congregation for over a year before I was finally prepared to be labeled, "Evaporated One."  People may see me as a dangerous, cursory... ghoul...but as I told my current neighborhood pastor --who is in fact, very compassionate, well-read, and well-spoken when she gives communion and gives the invocation or benediction,-- that I used to long for a place in official ministry.  I was trained for it.  But, she can have it all with my blessing, and actually with routine prayers for her safety.  I fear for her that by the luck of the draw, she may also end up being used and tossed away in the "vision" "agenda" of our "lead" pastor.  It's amazing whom God chooses to use inspite of themselves. It's also the saving grace of a few, because of themselves, that I am still attending the "state churches run of money and ego" oh, and occassionally Jesus of course. More rarely, the Bible.

 

If building houses has a right way and a wrong way, I would assume only the right people can build the right kind'a house?

Not exactly.  I've never been the right kind of person.  My husband was not the right kind of person.  We don't make the right kind of money.  But we have some of the right friends, and we are willing to pay them for favors.  Seeing as it's Halloween tonight, and trick-or-treaters are scrambling to collect their candy, saying, "trick-or-treat!  I like your door!"  I'll tell ya a thing or two.

Our hand-carved three bears door we found the year we actually saw bears for the first time in Vancouver Island, way up at the tippy top, far away from most people.  When we came home from our vacation, I began to look for a front door for the house.  We had been collecting odds and ends in the window department for about three years, and thus, the measurements could be drawn into the blueprints, but the front door could not yet be found.  The regular Home improvement retail outlets' prices had choked me.  I had come "this close" to purchasing a stylish front door, but simply couldn't put the pen to the contract, and had walked away to think about it several times. 

Finally, I decided to look in the antique shops up and down Broadway.  Actually, I was just browsing one day.  The front door thing was not even near the front of my mind.  I was attracted to the back wall where stained glass pieces were lying front to back, and as I was tipping through them, I came onto a handful of hand-carved front doors.  I recognized the artist who had gone out of business last year.  Then, I saw it.  The price was less than the Depot's front door.  Much less.  And that was that.

The thing about fashion these days whether in clothes or kitchens, is that the faster they change, the more the industry can collect from people who keep up with the Jones.  So, I don't mind buying last season's fashions, as long as the quality is true.

When it came to windows, I wanted wooden interiors and the exteriors clad in a neutral color that I wouldn't have to paint every 5 years.  I've painted my old house a couple of times, and it is simply the charity of love to sand and fill old window sills and exterior trims, then paint and scrape the windows. 

I decided that since we are not getting any older, we wouldn't want to climb ladders or pay anyone else to climb ladders and paint all the windows.  We bought clad.  We trimmed in left-over stone purchased cheaply from builders. We had the outside stuccoed by a Mexican church group who make their livings at stuccoing houses.  We wanted to support them, and they do a great job.

After I drew the house elevations and floor plans, (because a few years ago I took a couple of drafting courses at the local university) I realized I had no idea of how to build the roof or the structural loads.  I imagined calling around and trying to explain to structural engineers, that I had drawn my own plans and would they perhaps mind fitting the structural designs and figuring the structural loads…  my face reddened at just the thought of it.  But, I really wanted my design, and so I finally started down the short list of engineering consultants. 

Bob Fritz took my call, listened to my plight and agreed to meet with me.  Two months later we had the roof design, the stairway measured, a letter to the city building department and the concrete and joists designed.  Bob also knew the notes to put into his drawings and thus our walls became two by six rather than two by four.  At that time, two by six walls were not yet building code, but I am undeniably glad that we have the extra strength, insulation and appearance of two by six deep walls. 

As I sit here by the fire, I must tell you that it is one day before November, and we are finished with this house,-- all except the boiler runs for heat.  We have no heat and yet the fireplaces keep us warm enough.  I know that is largely due to the floor plan, the ceiling fans and the highly beneficial two by six walls.

A friend who built decks for a living had a lot of left-over trex decking.  We have a small deck off of each bedroom, and a large deck off the dining room.  His decking material saved us half of what we had to purchase. 

Bill had a friend whom he had taken care of in the hospital for a couple of months after a severe motorcycle accident.  This friend now operates his own painting company.  When it was time, his friend came and painted the interior of our entire home "for a steak dinner"  "because he felt grateful".  Of course we gave him more than what he asked for, but what a gift!

One of our best young friends who seems like a son to us, Jeremy, came by every weekend while we were building and was not too proud to move dirt, sweep sawdust, pitch dirt, but also proved to be extremely handy with the nailgun and sawzaw.  He installed nine windows in our first blizzard of last winter.  He leveled out an awkward ten inch low floor in the old house with new joists, subflooring and shims.  He built the floors of our decks with the trex.  He insulated and drywalled and trimmed out the windows, and he proved to be the perfect person to cut in the paint next to the ceiling, where I always mess it up.  This he did for $5.00 per hour and a meal or two the days he came over.

Bill had another friend who was a plumbing apprentice.  When our plumber up and left the job, this friend came to our aid and installed all our sinks, toilets and shower hardware.  Pennies on the dollar and, okay, a barbeque.

A very talented deaf friend, who built most of our previous house for practically nothing, suddenly showed up at the end of our project after we had fired our contractor.  He had not been able to work for months because of ringing in his ears and dizziness.  But, he saw where we were in our project and just began to pitch in.  He tiled bathroom floors, trimmed out our fireplace mantel and worked all the details of the window extensions. 

Of course I gave him a raise, but the guys is unbelievably gifted, and he came by just when we were in a pinch.

Another special friend, Andy, who rented from us for two years while finishing seminary, used to be a framer by trade.  He happened to know plumbing and soldering on the side.  It took him all of two days to run the copper for the bathrooms, and to fix the bursts in the "winterized" pipe that HUD passed along to us.  He built some great angles into our otherwise flat ceilings, he built the railings and balusters on each of our decks in about two days, and he built our stair banister and oak trim in another couple of days.   

A student from Texas who took a break from school at Christmas time in Colorado, looking for trim work, came and built us the most original two-sided open fireplace mantel in the middle of our entryway.  We got along so well that he built a few kitchen shelves for me in the time he had left.  We were both pleased as eggnog by the time the holiday passed.

As I waited and waited and waited for the contractor to finish his deadlines, our hardwood floor guy felt put out and put off until our relationship felt strained.  Just then, Steve, a neighbor suggested his friend who had recently moved to Colorado from Hawaii.  This guy came and gave us a bid that was a third less than the first guy who bid it, which was an incredible bid to begin with.  We saved a lot of money by taking advantage of the availability of the second hardwood floor guy.

 

There really haven't been many tricks in the building of our fine abode.  Friendships are not all that tricky.  If you have a few of them, you know. We happened to be there for them in their need.  They happened to be there for us in our need.  And even in the need, neither of us used the other without respect.  Maybe that part is the tricky part. Being tempted, but deciding not to abuse a friend.