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Metanoia



Last Updated: 12/21/2009

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Gender: Female
Sign: Aquarius

Signup Date: 9/1/2006

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December 11, 2009 - Friday 4:11 AM

Current mood:deepening...
Category: Writing and Poetry



Leila A. Fortier,Poetry



"A woman's creation, far from being like man's, must be exactly like her creation of children, that it must come out of her own blood, englobed by her womb, nourished with her own milk."
~Anais Nin~





Currently listening:
Structures from Silence
By Steve Roach
Release date: 2001-07-10
November 9, 2009 - Monday 4:11 AM

Current mood:deepening...
Category: Writing and Poetry


~I invite you to listen to my spoken verse...Click on the title mp3 track at the top of blog page...Thank you for sharing in my inspiration and creation~


Leila A. Fortier,Poetry


"In digging deeper, the universe of our character has become greatly enlarged, unlimited in space. It exists in depth and is far more reaching. We do not strike walls or obstacles by discovery, by tampering with the soul, the unconscious, but are tapping new sources of mystery, new realms. We are relinquishing second-rate mysteries for greater and deeper ones."
~Anais Nin~



Currently listening:
The Diary of Anais Nin: volume one: 1931-1933
By Anais Nin
November 1, 2009 - Sunday 4:14 PM

Current mood:  creative
Category: Writing and Poetry


Leila A. Fortier,Poetry


"I have great faith in all things not yet spoken"
~Rilke~




Currently listening:
The Other Side of the Mirror
By Stevie Nicks
Release date: 1989-05-18
October 19, 2009 - Monday 3:11 PM

Category: Writing and Poetry


goddess Pictures, Images and Photos



She told me

That he was strangling her heart…

I reminded her

That there is a high in asphyxiation

She claims she

Is merely reaping what she sowed

I ask what

Seeds he has planted…

She said that

She lost so much…So very much


I told her

That a man sees a woman most clearly

When she does not belong to him

But to herself…


She asks me

Why love returns to her with yet another face

I tell her

It is because we recognize their facelessness

She said that

What nourishes her, simultaneously destroys her


And I say

…I understand…


Leila A. Fortier

10/16/09



“A woman has strength within her fragility and mystery within all that is absolute. Her character becomes polished by the rough hands of life; her heart and spirit nourished by the harsh seasons endured~ Then, like the lotus, she blooms like never before…”




October 11, 2009 - Sunday 3:11 AM

Current mood:typhoon...
Category: Writing and Poetry








"I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger than reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls." - Anais Nin

....

August 28, 2009 - Friday 5:30 AM

Category: Writing and Poetry




"He who does not understand your silence, will not understand your words."

Author Unknown


~The Words Of Silence~


These words of my silence

My body’s translation

A silent language

Slow motion to time


Fine lines of emotion

An intricate potion

Giving wings to colorless titles


Pouring from heart

From center ~ unfolding

With sparkle and silence

Such unique composition


If I should want to speak

With meaning

I should say nothing at all


But everything with eyes

Hands, and shortness of breath

Till fire ignites...

From the steal of my kiss~



Leila A. Fortier

? 1997 ?



Looking back into my youth, I see that I have felt this way for some time…Love has never been a word I have been comfortable “using”. I have always viewed the word as being highly abused…and would be better expressed in action. Love, is an action, not a word. Perhaps I have carried this belief with a bit of pride, even in the face of hurting or wounding those I care most for by nature of my silence. Therefore, I decided to do some research on the nature of silence, and this was my discovery and discussion I would like to open:


My research concluded that my thoughts and views are far from standing alone. Though, when set against the backdrop of societies “norm” I may very much “feel” alone. Since the beginning of time, the nature of silence holds countless documentation by poets, artists, philosophers, and mystics as being a wise and even holy attribute.


Let’s look at Christianity. I got to thinking about the love of Christ. If you were to ask any Christian if Christ loved them, I am quite certain they would say, yes. But in pouring through the New Testament, I could not find a single line or reference to Christ verbally proclaiming His love for the people. The closest I found was:


“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”

1 John 15:12

How did Christ love us? Not by telling us…but by showing us. To me, this proclaims an action. Christ did not love us in word, He loved us in action and deed. We know with all our hearts that He loves us, not because He said it…but because He showed it.


“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in deed and in truth”

1 John 3:18


And how do we demonstrate our love for one another? It is clearly defined for us…and even if you are not Christian (as I myself embrace all forms of faith), I am certain anyone can find truth in this scripture:


“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

1 Corinthians 13:1-20

I dare say that the closest we as humans can come to this kind of unconditional love, is with our children. The rest of our relations with friends, family, coworkers etc. is set within the confines of conditions. Think about it…How many times have we said or heard “I will love you forever as long as…” We all have our “deal breakers”…But I don’t think this is what Christ has in mind. Yet, I know personally, that there is no wrong on the face of this earth that my own son could commit that would vanquish my love for him. He could disappoint me, anger or sadden me…but never, ever could my love be erased. The best I can do with all other forms of love in my life is to try my best to live up to love’s highest potential. For me…this is done in active silence.


Also said by me:


“Love Is: The embodiment of all that is said within silence”


“Love need not be spoken for it is inwardly heard”


“My actions will ever speak louder than my boldest words”


“Love is living IN the mystery; not solving it. Be not the word of love but the breath of it”


Let us not be the “Doubting Thomas” who needs shallow affirmation. Let us learn to “Be” the love we wish to receive…This is done by nature of our faith; the same faith we have that Christ loves us, even though we do not hear him say it. And if you really think about it; “Faith” is also a silent word:

"Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking”

Gibran

"Mysteries are not to be solved. The eye goes blind when it only wants to see why."

Rumi

Again, my thoughts are not purely Christian, but shared with many great poets, mystics and thinkers from different aspects of faith, all over the world since the beginning of time. Lest I digress…here is just a sampling of quotes from these minds:


~Rumi~


“Silence is the language of God, all else is poor translation”


"If I could wake completely, I would say without speaking why I'm ashamed of using words"

"Let us speak silently like spirits and avoid talkers who use words in vain"

“A great silence overcomes me, and I wonder why I ever thought to use language”


“Let silence take you to the core of life. All your talk is worthless when compared with one whisper of the Beloved”


“Ground yourself, strip yourself down, To blind loving silence”


“This poetry. I never know what I'm going to say. I don't plan it. When I'm outside the saying of it, I get very quiet and rarely speak at all”


“When the ocean is searching for you, don't walk into the language-river. Listen to the ocean,
and bring your talking business to an end”


“Love said to me, there is nothing that is not me. Be silent”


~Gibran~


“You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts”


“There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone”


“For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly”


“Love is a sacred mystery. To those who love, it remains forever wordless”


“When love becomes vast, love becomes wordless”


“I purified my lips with sacred fire that I might speak of love, but when I opened my mouth to speak, I found myself mute”


“In the depths of my soul there are songs unwilling to take the garb of words, songs living as seed in my heart. They will not flow with ink onto paper. Like a translucent veil, they are wrapped about emotions that can never flow sweetly on my tongue”


“I place the word I wish to utter in the very heart of silence; for silence preserves all that we say with affection, with zeal, and with faith”


~Tagore~


“When the voice of the silent touches my words, I know him and therefore know myself”

“The small truth has words which are clear; the great truth has great silence”


~Neruda~


“Let me talk to you with your silence that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring”


~Mother Teresa~


“See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...we need silence to be able to touch souls”


~Ausonius~

“He who does not know how to be silent will not know how to speak”


~Abu-Said Abil-Kheir~


“When you read a single page from the silent book of your heart, you will laugh at all this chattering, all this pretentious learning


~Emily Dickenson~


“It was a quiet way --He asked if I was his --I made no answer of the tongue
But answer of the Eyes”


~Umar Ubn Al Farid~


“Resist the calls of wrangling talk, and save yourself from false claims and their assaults, which truly aim only to be heard"


~Kabir~


"It cannot be told by the words of the mouth, it cannot be written on paper: It is like a dumb person who tastes a sweet thing — how shall it be explained?"



*In essence...Love is silent because it is truly ineffable*


July 18, 2009 - Saturday 3:11 AM

Current mood:silent in song...
Category: Writing and Poetry
***This piece is much better heard than read...so relax and listen***

***Please listen to spoken word by clicking on 'Mystery & Mystic' on mp3 player at the top of this blog page***


~I appreciate your listening...Thank you~




~Mystery & Mystic~


When I speak of love~ I speak of that which is unknown to man

Sifting through hands like hour glass sands

Whispered amongst and between Gods and mystics

Prophets, Poets, Empaths and Artists

With the motion of mouths in sounds yet to be heard

Imperceptible Truth resounds in hearts stirred


These that touch with intuition, unseen wounds and fears

A subtle slight of hand that wipes away a thousand tears

Whose eyes capture the formless in colors yet to be named

Painting vivid portraits of wandering souls untamed


These that hear the subtle vibration rising

A rebirth through the agony of dying

Through the tunnel of distortion and distraction

Into the unknown realms beyond mortal perception

Tapped and channeled beyond rhyme and reason

Experiencing collectively all sense and season


A cosmic lovers song of undefined energies

Insatiable thirst that drives the quest of these

There are gifts from the Beloved that come with a price

The toll for the treasure, the cost of your life

All that you are and believe yourself to be

Every fiber of logic and sanity

Open this gift of spiritual rapture

Mark the beginning of your departure

For there is no leaving…only leaving behind

An onward exploration beyond heart and mind


Follow this calling and heed to your making

Be seduced by this magic and entranced by your breaking

Lured to simply BE without hesitation or regret

Never to fully return again…bereft


Mesmerized by both ache and thirst

Every pleasure and pain exceeds the first

Burning and drowning in the wine of union’s penetration

Great waves of rapture flood with spirit’s exaltation

Simultaneously rising and shattering in ecstasy

The vessel of the heart is too small for such as these


Trekking the scorching deserts barefoot with feet aflame

In search of oasis to stake hearts humble claim

Intimately experience the delirium of dehydration

The bleeding joy of fasting to reunification


Dancing in the mirage of both blessing and curse

For the single drop of water that can quench an ocean of thirst

The bounty of slaking within this droplet of nothing

Finds an entire universe for their tasting

To feed and feel the extreme of all things

Marinate in the contradiction of all things


Both mad and genius~ Devout and free

Caged only by that which is felt yet unseen

Do not take personally their seeming indifference

But look to the glowing of their heart’s effulgence


For their mind is ever elsewhere…while their heart is fixed in place

Attached not to this world, but to that sovereign limitless space

To speak in tongues would be to lick their soul

To leave this world is to call it your own

Shed the stiff fabric…Manmade robes of society

Be open, mad, wild, naked and free~


Dance with the dervishes and hallucinate on wine

Spin into the void of profound silence where you will find

The Beloved is within you with undivided attention

In this infinite space free of divide or separation


Wander thus aimlessly if you really wish to feel

The miracle of abundance held within empty arms revealed

Eat from the invisible fruit yet to be born from the seed

From the tree of life, there is no need of knowledge to feed


Do not prize this treasured heart, nor attempt to capture or seize it

Behold it you may~ Yet covet not lest you kill it

Treasure the boundless experience of all lifetimes

Suspended within a fleeting breath and a single sigh

Lies the unexplainable mystery that can never be defined...



Leila A. Fortier


5/28/08 & 7/13/09




"Those who are burned into the fire of love are buried into the heart of God"

~Sufi Mystic~





Currently listening:
Rise
By Anoushka Shankar
Release date: 2005-09-27
June 5, 2009 - Friday 3:11 PM

Current mood:  quiet
Category: Writing and Poetry







"Like dew drops on a lotus leaf, I vanish"

~Senryu~
Currently listening:
Seppuku
By Sanjuro
Release date: 2007-05-15
May 26, 2009 - Tuesday 3:11 AM

Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Writing and Poetry





"Does sunset sometimes look like it is coming up? Do you know what a faithful love is like? You're crying. You say you have burned yourself. But can you think of anyone who's not hazy with smoke?"

~Rumi~

Currently listening:
Out of the Depths
By Idan Raichel Project
May 15, 2009 - Friday 3:11 AM

Current mood:  blessed
Category: Writing and Poetry



I Asked


"I've been fully submerged and drawn into the sea. Why should I just be a drop?"
~Rumi~




Currently listening:
Best of Me
By Maxi Priest
Release date: 1992-06-29
April 11, 2009 - Saturday 3:11 AM

Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Writing and Poetry

***To hear spoken word version, scroll through the mp3 player located at the top of this blog page, and click on the title track***

Photobucket









"Love~ Like death...Changes everything"

~Kahlil Gibran~







Below is a clip of my favorite interpretation of Christ and Mary Magdaline. The scene is about 9 min. long if you have the time, it is well worth the view as it reveals the beginnings of what I am trying to convey in this piece. I find Jeremy Sisto's interpretation of Jesus to be so human and still divine...as I would see him, and Debra Messing's Interpretation of Mary Magdaline speaks to me and to many women I know...







Below is a link to a 5 part series on Mary Magdaline and the Gnostic Scriptures that reveals Mary's true role in Jesus' life, and Gnostic Christianity. Absolutely fascinating for those that this subject is of interest:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=9040673538707206364



Enjoy this Holiday weekend for what it may mean for you~
Currently listening:
Passion: Music For The Last Temptation Of Christ
By Peter Gabriel
Release date: 01 June, 1989
February 18, 2009 - Wednesday 4:11 AM

Current mood:  quixotic
Category: Writing and Poetry





Happy Valentine's Day Love...

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"The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along"
~Rumi~








Currently listening:
The Notebook
By Various Artists
Release date: 2004-06-08
January 2, 2009 - Friday 10:11 AM

Current mood:lost in the wind...
Category: Writing and Poetry


Photobucket


"Talk about choices does not apply to me. While intelligence considers options...I am somewhere lost in the wind"
~Rumi~
Currently listening:
Remember Two Things
By The Dave Matthews Band
Release date: 1997-06-24
January 2, 2009 - Friday 10:11 AM

Current mood:quietly peaceful
Category: Writing and Poetry


Photobucket


"
Let Yourself Be Silently Drawn By the Stronger Pull of What You Really Love"
 ~Rumi~



Currently listening:
Testimony, Vol. 1, Life & Relationship
By India.Arie
Release date: 2006-06-27
December 31, 2008 - Wednesday 10:11 PM

Current mood:  warm
Category: Writing and Poetry


Once upon a time there was a man named Doubt who came upon a woman named Faith. Doubt was moved by the possibility of faith, but was his nature to test that which he had never known.


Doubt stood at the crossroads...shreiking of pain and ugliness...the horror he believed himself to be. And Faith turned her back to him and spoke:


"I acknowledge your pain, but I refuse to dance with it. I validate your every ache but I refuse to feed it. For I do not look upon your yesterdays and judge you by your sorrows. I look at you for who you are today and what you do with your tomorrows. I stand at the crossroads and wait for you to open the gate...To see what I see of you in both faith and belief...For the gift of today and a lifetime of tomorrows...built by design of an unconditional love that follows...But only flourishes beneath the light of faith and truly seeing someone outside of their mistakes...Believing in their worth to rise above their heart's aches...Because my first name may be Faith, but you yourself named me Love."


~Destination~


I was speaking into your eyes

When you tripped over my words

Spilling your pieces upon the floor

You thought were left unheard

But I have no interests in your

Shattered fragments and broken parts

I never wanted you to see yourself broken

When you were whole right from the start

 

I don't need to shine my light upon you

To prove the opulence of your existence

Or glow of your own radiance…And really…

You don't need my faith or persistence

 

That's not why I am here…

 

I only speak from the place of which you teach me

And share all of which you've already known

Reflect back to you the seeds that you have sown

The karma you've owned, and new harvest grown

But you have cut yourself down to the very bone

And now it is time…For you to find your way home

 

You know…That foreign place…

That one you have never known

Somewhere between near and far,

Here and way over there

 

Where souls meet upon the dusty roads

Of long forgotten prayers

A breeze-like whisper with outstretched wings

Carrying silent promises that echo forming rings

And even though the truth still sometimes stings:

 

It is all about the journey, and not the destination

Fear not the outcome or tasting bitter rejection

Nothing can be destroyed that forever has always been

So serve yourself a slice of life on the stairway to heaven

Be open to the journey without remorse or hesitation

The greatest of experiences come without any expectation

 

Leila A. Marceau

8/17/08


"But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."

~Kahlil Gibran~

 

Currently listening:
Belief
By The Innocence
Release date: 1997-12-02