On the 24th of this month I turn 40. I can honestly say its scary how I dont feel 40, and most people say I have never looked or for that matter acted my age. (I'm still trying to figure out exactly what they ment by that, was it a compliment or pointing out a charater defect) This last year has been a journey touching places in my soul, faith and happiness I could never have imagined. Im walking into a new year filled with so much graditude for life and who I am. Last year I meet a wonderful lady that let me to her untrusting heart and shared her faith in life and god with me. Forever changing the way I look at the term everything or nothing. I learned to love agian. only to have that relationship end. Id like to say I went gracfully with the bigger plan, Fear its a bitch and lossing love. What can I say. Just before that I was laid off form a job I hated any way. But yet agian fear manifested. Things seemed bad, Every morning Id wake up give my day over only to grab it back and strangle the life out of my self ( dont recomend this as a solution) The one thing I held on to was the courage she had shown me. Mind you Im not perfect , dont ever plan on achieving perfection. So I am always open to the messages I see through others. I kept slamming and bumping into everything while I tried find an open door. never gave up. I walked into a job That i never would have every gotten had i still been in construction. Its amazing how good it feels to wake up when you enjoy what you do. It took a long time but Im at that place I feel stronger, happier, younger, and gifted.
the gifts I have today. the biggest is my son found me on this site and he choose to want me in his life. I love the man I am today (who I am becoming, what I stand for, and how the world views me). the love I feel for the people in my life and the way I know they feel about me. The memories of the relationships Ive had, being able to see how I was enriched buy it rather than how I lost something. Faith in life, god , myself and evrything around me that it going to work out better than I could ever create. Unwavered fath is the goal today one day at a time , growing stronger on the days fear steps in.
40 looks good