I love the way you can change everything for me…

When I see night, you see day
When I see dark, you see light
When I am sad, you find a smile
When I am upset, you find me happiness
When I want a place to hide, you say ‘right here’ with open arms
When I need a kiss, you gently touch my forehead with your lips
When I show anger, you show love

I love how you make me feel…

When it seems hard to make a smile, you flip me upside down
When it feels hard to be happy, you tickle me
When the pain feels too much, you hold me ‘til it vanishes
When I feel alone at night, I can still smell your scent on me and I feel you’re close
And when I cry, you wipe my tears with a kiss

I love you Matt, with heart and soul. I love you with sincerity and respect. I love you with promises and hopes. I love you with the feeling of the deepest love, the love you don’t realize you have until you surprise yourself everyday with how much more love you have to give. What I feel inside will always be, the love for you. I’m not perfect, but I try to show you just how much I love you every day. You are my love, my soulmate, my everything. XOXOXO

soulmate or soul mate  
n.   One of two persons compatible with each other in disposition, point of view, or sensitivity.

I love you baby.

              Im a week away from being done with my 90 days at work, and im already fed up with this job. I've been annoyed with it for a while now actually only no one in my house ever lets me do what i want so ive been denying the fact that im sick of it. I just tell them i had a bad day and that every day is different and it'll be fine tomorrow. Only it hasnt been. Im trying to not let it show...so if ive been a bitch or a jerk to anyone thats why. I dont mean to... but it does happen. Some days are fine, i go thru do my work, take my breaks, hardly get bothered by front desk for help and im out by ten. And then there are other days when my breaks are shortened or just never even there. Front desk is swamped and need a hand or has something for me to do and i dont get out til after 10.
               Im not even allowed to get over time... not just because of not being done with my 90 days but because they just dont like giving out overtime. Altho i dont get a choice i keep getting told to get whatever needs to get done done before i leave work. And i do... and then i get yelled at later for going over 40 hours.. or getting really close. We dont have another houseman to cover me.. there's a lady whose suppose to but we also dont have a maintance man so when she comes in they hand her maintance slips and shes off to go do that and not the houseman chores. So when i come in after 2 days off the hotel looks like crap and they still refuse to hire anyone else. They dont even mention it as a job option anymore when people ask whats available. My longer days are the first ones back after my days off, or holidays. I try to brush it off about working on holidays but it does suck.
            When we get booked im there late doing everything and anything that i get told needs to get done ontop of my normal list of things to do. And i get no acknowledgment back for it. I might get a thanks from my supervisor or Gen. manager who told me to do it, but thats it. When the guest comes in they thank front desk, they email us and tell our general manager that it was great and their stay was the best they've ever had... and i get nothing. What about the one who made sure your luggage was put up into your room? what about the one who made sure you had foam pillows instead of feather pillows cause your allergic? What about the one who brought extra things up to your room for you when you call down? or the one who brings up a roll away bed and sets it up for you when you have kids? Nothing.. thats what. Nothing is said... nothing is done.. nothing. 
             This job drains me physically, mentally, and emotionally... cause lets face it the guest could give us all the wrong information but it would always be our fault. Just last night i got yelled at by a guest at the front desk for 20-30 mins because he didnt get the room he booked online and he didnt want to switch it when we first offered to when he was checking in. So now everything is my fault and he wants me to switch someone elses room with his because he's a diamond member. Well what about that other person? I hate how no one thinks of that other person. Because most of the time.. I AM that other person. Im the one that is told to do things but isnt givin the full directions. Im the one that is left out when something is said. I am the one on the outside.
             Im sick of my job. Im only making 7.75 and it'll only go up .25 cents every time i get a raise (so it'll be 8 after my 90 days)and no benefits. But for everything i know and do for them... its not worth it. I can do houseman, front desk and housekeeping. And if im asked to do housekeeping when i get in... i do housekeeping til they're done so that they can leave at 4... and then im allowed to get started on my own list of chores. I dont get a choice i just get told. So for 2 - 2 1/2 hours i could be cleaning rooms and then finally get to start on my chores at 4:30... and hope i dont get out late.
             
          I havent looked for a different job, i dont know what im waiting for or hoping for... but i havent. I dont want to quit but i dont think anythings gonna start looking up anytime soon. I could really just use a hug right now though. I know that for sure.

1. I can manage to get everything i need to do for work done in 3 1/2 hours.

2. I've managed to acquire many more bruises since ive started working at the hotel.

3. There really is no downtown East Aurora.... no matter how much i asked Stacey for the directions to it.

4. When making coffee for work its smart to make sure the handle is flipped up so that the coffee doesnt pour all over when its filling

5. If you're gonna swear at something said to you over the walkie-talkie/radio... make sure you arent holding the button down.

6. No matter how much you clean the side entrance door there will always be finger prints on it.

7. Even tho you point at the other 2 luggage carts sitting between the first and second set of entrance doors... people will still leave the luggage cart in front of the door leading to the stairs.

8. If they complain about one thing... they'll complain about EVERYTHING!!!

9. Setting up a crib requires more than one person... or just one person with more than 2 hands.

10. The line 'There she is' is never a good thing to hear when you first walk into work.

11. Gift baskets fix many things.

12. Every phone should have a 'hold' button on it.

13. When explaining something to a person always use you're hands... they think you know what you're talking about then... that or you distract them enough that they dont realize you have no freaking clue what you're talking about.

14. Being 'the cute one' isnt all its cracked up to be.

15. Always make sure you're lights are on completely and not just on 'parking' when leaving work at night.

16. Cleaning your car is as easy as waiting til it rains

17. Its not smart to go shopping while hungry.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Dad] "Oh, you guys playing a drinking game?"
[Me] "No, we're just drinking while playing a game"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Me] "Stacey, i need the directions for downtown East Aurora"
[Stacey] "What?"
[Me] "Downtown East Aurora, i need the directions to it"
[Stacey] "Say it again... i dont think im hearing you right"
[Me] "Downtown East Aurora... what do you need me to say it slower for you?
[Stacey] "yea"
[Me] "Downtown East Aurora... come on you know this"
[Stacey] "Here let me just ask him, im not understanding what you need"
[Guest] "I need the directions for the Downtown Hampton Inn"
[Me] "Ohh... my bad"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Front desk girl] "Did you vacuum the elevator?"
[Me] "No, i had already put away the elevator before i realized i didnt vacuum it yet"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Darlene over the radio] "Ashley, your cars leaking antifreeze"
[Me] "Shit!"
[Darlene] "Hey we dont talk like that on here"
[Me] "Sorry... Gee Wilikers!"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

   Well first off im well aware im writing this blog on myspace... but it'll have proved a point for me later. I read in the sunday paper an article about sexual predators and how they're using myspace. Now im not against the police cracking down on the people that are doing that. Im all for it. Those people are sick, disgusting, and in need of serious help. What i want to point out though in that article the man they caught had the heading on his page by his picture saying 'sex master adam'.
   Now sure he could of surfed myspace for teen girls and sent them a friend request and they could've added them and what not. Or they could've been surfing themselves for soemone to do dirty/sexual things with them.
    I am at no way saying that that man is innocent of a crime. I just want to point out that people should also be looking to the younger audience as to how these guys get soo many of them. The 4th paragraph on the article states 'His myspace page drew responses from dozens of teenage girls, some as young as 13'. How much do you want to bet that he probably didnt send a message to all of those girls.
   I think the police should continue their work on catching these guys, but also parents need to be doing more work on watching their children and what they do. Kids may want more space, but its usually caused because of problems at home or in relationships with members at home.
  

   The point that was proved by this blog is that unless you're on my blog subscription you wouldnt actually know i typed this.. instead you went around and found it. .... Just like people do online when looking for younger girls .. or younger boys/girls looking for sex. - Dont always blame the one side... it takes two to tango.

   Damn it now, this catchy sing-a-long, fa la la fa la la blah blah yeah... Well tis the season for a blog.
   So first off... Merry Christmas to everyone, im mainly writing this because my families playing a game thats driving me insane. I mean i thought mack was energetic before, but damn throw in some sugar and a game with my family and he's like a squerrel on speed... that can talk.
   Either way, its been a great christmas. First off, my brother is home for good now from the service. No more 'home on leave' he's home for good. :) It was nice, i mean you grow up with someone and they're gone for 5 years where you only see them a few times if you're lucky, and then they come back home and its just really neat. That made christmas a cool thing. And then throw in spending the holiday with family and my loved one matt - I love you hunny - btw.
   Steph and Pat are moved back up so its not the wait for the call early in the morning to say they got in.. but just the call 30 mins later saying they made it home. 
   I can honestly say that as much as i loved all the gifts i received... i enjoyed the looks on the faces of other people... especially matt's mom when she saw the envelope to the gift certificate i got them. She hadnt even taken off the ribbon yet. :) Also, to give matt the game he had been talking about for quite a while, and mom the swivel vac she asked for. The surprise of steph and pat's faces, and zacks, macks and dads. There's no need for detail cuz it'll take a long time. But it does mean more to see their faces.
    Before this goes on and gets sentimental.... i just want to say Merry Christmas [again], and i hope everyone has had a great christmas eve and christmas... And a hi and thank you to Zack's girlfriend Halila, if you read this if not i'll send you a comment... but thank you for the christmas gift too, zack said you helped pick them out :)

  So i went shopping with my mom yesterday...and we're crossing the road thingy infront of Target - not on the designated crosswalk i might add..but crossing there non the less - and there was a truck coming from my side, i saw it...watched it and it stopped at the crosswalk. So i started to walk and mom looked and there was a car coming so we stopped and waited only we're in the lane of the truck that was now moving. And the lady slowed a bit but the car was still in front of us waiting for people to move and letting someone out. And the trucks still coming and im like shit..and mom's freaking cuz we have no wheres to move cuz theres a car pulling out of the lane of cars we're coming from. And im like they see us... they wont hit us. - its like 445 so its kinda dark..but if you missed me in light colored pants and a light colored jacket with car lights on my back.... well ...then your blind.
   Either way... the truck lady gets pissed that she has to stop and the car just started to move so we started too.. Only the lady in the truck had already started yelling 'MOVE' and 'GO' in her truck at us. So i saw her doing that and im like 'what the hell' ... we were still having to kinda wait for that car which was now behind like 3 others and was waiting to move. And i turned to the lady in the truck which was now moving at us... and mouthed a couple choice words that came out at as mumble to me and mom.
   And well.. honestly either she has great hearing or she can read lips cuz her mouth dropped open and her eyes got large and she just stared at me while she drove by us.
  If you ask me she had it coming...She told us to move when we obviously couldnt and didnt feel like waiting 5 mins for us to ...instead she decided to yell at us to 'move' and 'go' while driving at us.

   But just word of advice... you might want to watch who you mouth words to.. cuz they might be able to read lips.  Cuz i wont lie... now im afraid of most small white trucks with lady's driving.

10 reasons why making dinner at my house sucks

1. people expect you to make dinner no matter how tired you are or weither you just walked into the house from working outside

2. you are not giving a complete heads up as to whats for dinner.. just the basic - ' make burgers '

3. you'll bust your ass making a salad just to find out that apparently your having corn with dinner tonight

4. when the corn is brought home - after you've made your lovely salad - you'll be expected to husk it and make it even tho you said no that you made a very nice salad that ever one was going to eat weither there was corn or not

5. apparently everyone wants corn and dont really care that you made a nice salad - and have offered to husk the corn for you because you denied doing it after making the salad

6. then after putting burgers on the extremely hot grill because no one decided to help you make the salad ... the ones who claimed to husk the corn will go play horse-shoes out of lack of interest in husking corn

7. and even tho you're ok with that cuz you never wanted corn in the first place .... your mother will husk the corn for you to cook for your father who said he would husk it so that you could cook it for dinner

8. then you'll finish dinner have everything set ...and watch your father use all the onion you chopped up for the burgers on his and tell you that you didnt chop up enough union

9. who the hell eats that much onion? ugh!

10. this all follows behind you having to clean off the table and do the dishes while the guys sit and talk about sports..

the only upside - Pat thanked me for dinner twice .. while my father told me to get him random things that apparently his legs couldnt support him getting

1. its depressing when you type up a whole blog - push post - and the screen goes white and freezes

2. if your dog likes to jump out windows when the truck has stopped and been turned off.. its wise to have the window down

3. only a very select few men can have their nip's pierced and pull it off

4. the man i saw today.. DEFFINANTLY CAN NOT!

5. there's nothing hot about a man with pierced nips, and a gut with his shirt off

6. the best thing to do when having to go work .. is to not get ready until everyone is ready to go.. and then you tell them you'll walk and that you'll be right down .... this leaves you about 45 mins to do nothing

7. if you dont wait reletively 2 or 3 days in between reading books.. you'll realize you have changed the names of half the characters to that of the characters from the previous book and confuse your self

8. Your grad party is all fun and games until the Thank You cards

9. You'll manage to put off cleaning your room for 2 weeks, just to finally clean it and have it only take you about a half hour

10. You know you're cool when you can sit with your boyfriend listening to the Fraggle Rock theme song on his computer and both of you still remember all the words to it

11. silverware is not a nessecity - it's optional

12. Spyro has to be one of the best ways to spend an afternoon

13. who ever came up with the line ' no takes' back's ' was stupid

14. as well as ' made ya look '

15. it's come to my attention that i should have my own dictionary

16. Ever notice most names to a song have nothing to actually do with the song.. or are actually never said in the song?

17. .... in the words of my boyfriend .. ' Did you know Hooties a black man? '

18. the food network channel was the best channel invented

19. as serious as my fathers face can be... dont believe him.. its more than likely a lie

20. When your friends are going to college and college has started.. the question 'so where are you' gets very pointless

21. you can go into writing one of these things with million of things ... but only come out with 21 of them

  Yeah so not too much going on.. Figured i'd write on here.. i havent done so in a while.. i think. Either way..random thoughts are doing their usual spuing from my mind ..cuz im lame like that..

So for starters.. Matt and me are celebrating 1 year this Saturday.. cant believe its already been a year.. and we've had our ups and downs... but we managed this far! yeah us!  working on many more!

Also ive been puting music (alot of my cds) on my computer and realized there is a point when you can have too many cds. ... i think i reached mine about ... ALOT OF CDS AGO! i have alot that are burned.. but alot are also bought and HOLY SHIT.. i think i found my retirement fund.

Matt and me have many inside jokes that can rise up at any moment no matter how serious it maybe... or need to be. Which reminds me.. ever had those times when somethings said and theres an inside joke you're just dying to say.. but no one will get it ..cuz the person that the inside joke is with isnt there.. so then you have the dicision of weither to say the joke and have to explain everything and end up ruining it.. or to just not say it .. and have it annoy the hell out of you? ... example - two words : Stick fish

Ok now this next one im just writing cuz i can.. but and idk how your family is or are.. but with mine. if you dont finish you're food at a restaurant.. they're very happy with trying it and finishing it for you. Only when you bring something home and you put it straight in the fridge without even a 'mine' people get confused as to weither its for them or not. So then they say they're just gonna take a bite of it and you agree to the 'one bite' ..then you ask them what they think and they tell you they think its dry that it could use a dressing (Chicken BLT - very good by the way) and they complain about it saying it could be better. So you say 'well i like it, so dont worry i'll finish the rest of it cuz its mine' .. and you leave it for like 2 hrs come back and its already almost gone. Surprisingly the culprit is the person who didnt like it at all and thought it was too dry. .... Freaking dad ate my damn sandwich he didnt like.... WTF????

I've also found my liking for reading agian.. I know who wouldve known i liked to read. Hell my teachers didnt even know i liked to read. But im deffinately into this book i got at walmart the other night.. and .. well put it this way i got it last night read from midnite to 1 this morning went to sleep.. woke up at quarter to 8 .. got up... grabed the book and read it all morning and all after noon.. and im almost half way thru this 48? paged book... and thats four hundred and eighty something.. not forty eight paged book.

    Well the grad party is over with.. I survived. But to end the questoin of 'how was your party?' This is how it was...  Alrite. I mean yeah it was nice seeing people, and being handed cards and some presents and the hugs and love. - its like my birthday but in the summer.
   But what sucked was we did a hayride and as soon as we got back, like everyone left and only a hand ful said goodbye. And im sorry, maybe im greedy ... like you're card and time isnt enough now i want you to say goodbye.  But if you go to a party for someone, dont you typically say goodbye to the person you came for?  I mean it makes sense to me.  I came into the house... it was packed ..my cousin stopped put down his cooler to say goodbye to me - Mike, thank you, i love you!! - i headed out for probly 5 mins... 4 people said goodbye i came back to the house and there were only 3 people inside and like maybe 8 outside.. WTF?  where did everyone go.. i was only by the barn.. why did no one say goodbye?  Now what really gets me.. is no one made an attempt to say goodbye. If you really wanted to with me outside or not.. you couldve asked someone.. a call wouldve been done outside and i wouldve came over. But no, people find it easier to just leave. Like our house is a hell hole or something.  Either way.. for the ones who did actually to take the time to say goodbye and tell me congrads - thank you .. i can honestly say ive never had a hug like the one my Unka Don gave me ... he started to let go then pulled me in just to whisper that i deserved everything and he was really really proud of me. ... Felt damn good.
   I dont know.. i needed to get that out tho.. cuz it realy hurt. That people couldnt take the time to say goodbye.. i kinda wanted to put that on the thankyou's - 'and sorry it was too hard to say goodbye'   Hell we had people that came early with their kids, left to go to a wedding and showed up again later after the wedding without hte kids to just hang out.. it was nice to see i wasnt that much of a burden for them.

~ when asked what time is it, it ISNT always Hammertime

~ you know its sad when someone says John, another person says Jacob, and a third person is capable to follow up with Jinglehymershmit

~ it IS possible to flood a lawn mower

~ chipmunks are suicidal

~ its normal to see rain clouds in the sky only when you mow the lawn

~ when painting its not wise to get paint on the person with the bigger brush

~ you'll end up with wierd sunburn lines if someone gets paint on you

~ if Mack makes a comment on how big the milk jug is ... its just assumed that i'm gonna make a comment

~ even tho its July apparently its possible to have 70 degree weather

~ when somethings heavier than you.. its not wise to attempt to try and pick/move it