Status: Single
City: Fort Worth
State: TX
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/15/2005
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Friday, November 06, 2009
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The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.
My confession:
I
am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does
not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit
up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't
feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.
It
doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I
don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a
ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene
on display at a key intersection near my beach house inMalibu .. If
people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few
hundred yards away.
I don't like getting pushed around for
being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around
for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and
tired of getting pushed around, period.. I have no idea where the
concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country.. I
can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.
Or
maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we
should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we
understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But
there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came
from and where the America we knew went to.
In
light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a
little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny,
it's intended to get you thinking.
Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina
).. Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She
said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but
for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out
of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman
He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to
give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us
alone?'
In
light of recent events... Terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I
think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her
body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our
schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the
Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not
steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.
Then
Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they
misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we
might damage their self-esteem ( Dr. Spock's son committed suicide).
We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.
Now
we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they
don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill
strangers, their classmates, and themselves.
Probably, if we think about it long and hard
enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with
'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'
Funny how simple it is for people to
trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we
believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.
Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like
wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord,
people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and
obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion
of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.
Are you laughing yet?
Funny
how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your
address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they
will think of you for sending it.
Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.
Pass it on if you think it has merit.
If
not, then just discard it..... No one will know you did. But, if you
discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what
bad shape the world is in.
My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,
Ben Stein
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Wednesday, October 14, 2009
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President Barack Obama pledge to the largest homosexual organization in America? Call
your senators today and let them know that their vote on "hate crimes"
will affect your support when they stand for re-election.
October 12, 2009 - President Obama: "I can announce after more than a decade, this (hate crimes) bill is set to pass and I will sign it into law." The president spoke these words last Saturday night to the largest homosexual advocacy organization in the country. As
even the president acknowledges, with your help we have successfully
beaten back attempts to pass so-called "hate crimes" legislation since
the 1990s. However, as the president points out, this legislation is now closer to becoming law than it ever has been.
The House passed this bill last Thursday, and our last chance to stop
this dangerous bill is when your senators vote on it this week. Here's what wrong with the "hate crimes" bill:
It
criminalizes thought. For the first time in American history, criminal
penalties are being attached to thoughts, not actions. Perpetrators
will receive extra punishment not for what they did but for what they
were thinking when they did it. It
endangers freedom of religion and speech. Everywhere in the world "hate
crimes" laws have gone into effect, they have quickly been used to
harass, intimidate, silence and punish people of faith. Your pastor
could go to jail if even a tenuous link could be established between a
sermon on homosexuality and some act of violence. It
destroys the American principle of equality under the law. It creates a
judicial caste system, in which some victims get more legal protection
than others. It actively discriminates against heterosexuals by giving
them less protection in law than victims who engage in non-normative
sexual behaviors. In a devious maneuver by Democrats, it's attached to a Defense Appropriations bill. Our military deserves a stand-alone vote on funding. To which I responded:To all readers ...
I'm not sure what I'm more offended by, having received this email ...
the narrow-minded scope of it or the thought that others would read and
agree. Hundreds of years ago, people were put to death for not
converting to a certain religion and non-conformity. The stories
abound. Have we really moved further past those times?
What on earth did you expect out of the first black president BUT to
take on hate crimes towards minorities? And btw, what the hell is
"non-normative"? Do you mean those who do not live what you consider a
normal 'wife-kids-white-picket-fence'- type lifestyle? Maybe those who
do not exclusively utilize the act of sex for no other reason than
procreation, utilizing a time-honored missionary position? Or do you
mean people who simply do not conform to your religious beliefs?
Re-read the third sentence now. Are you starting to recognize a
pattern? I am definitely not gay nor does the thought appeal to me in
any way. But where or how my neighbor chooses to find happiness is
really no cause for my concern as long as he/she does so without
harming others. I encourage and bless their courage and strength.
This
type of extreme Conservatism
just turns my stomach ten times as much as someone who is comfortable
with their own identity even if it idoes differ from mine. I hope Obama
signs it into law so we can take another step further away from this
enduring, needless, and extremely unproductive discrimination/bias.
Here's a thought ... where there is no hate, there's no hate crime.
Therefore there would be no need for legislation. The rest is
superfluous. Period, end of story.
Seems to me that homosexuality is nowhere near the root of the problem,
yet simply one example of the real core issue that advocacy and
agreement of this email seems to exemplify. One word, four letters ....
.
Thank goodness we caught this shining example of hypocrisy in it's infancy this morning. If I knew the person who created the "Delete" button on my computer, I
might even give that man or woman a kiss on the cheek today.
My final thoughts ... "LIVE AND LET LIVE".
Or in the exact words I learned growing up as a Catholic going to church every sunday:
"DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU".
Todd
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Saturday, September 26, 2009
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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I've seen a ton of club owners and/or promoters make these simple mistakes. They are easily fixed if you care AT ALL about the quality of the show. Pay attention because IT DOES MATTER! Here's a great article by Steve Roye: Why Seating Is A Critical Factor For Generating Maximum Laughter!
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Saturday, July 11, 2009
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http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/18972  SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — San Francisco Giant Jonathan Sanchez pitched the first no-hitter of 2009 on friday night, beating the Allen High School Badgers 29-0.
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Sunday, June 07, 2009
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http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/18193  PORTLAND, Maine (AP) — What could be the world's longest lobster roll turned out to be even longer than expected.
Just once, I'd like someone to say that about me. 
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Sunday, June 07, 2009
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http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/18191  NEW YORK (AP) — Swimmers are being kept out of the water at ConeyIsland out of concerns about a sewage overflow from a nearby treatment plant.
22 other beaches nearby were left open because apparently they face a different ocean. 
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Tuesday, June 02, 2009
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Ok, I'm so excited to finally be on Twitter. If you want to be friends with me on Twitter too, click here:
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Saturday, May 30, 2009
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My doctor, or rather his nurse from somewhere in the middle east, called me two days ago to let me know that my triglycerides were high and I needed to start taking Omega-3. I don't even know what a triglyceride is. I also don't know what Omega-3 does. Let me repeat ... I am taking medicine I've never heard of, for a condition I know nothing about. Well, at least that's clear. And what's worse really is that this was just the most recent layer added to my ailment cake.
It all started, I think, with snoring a little too loudly for some roommates I had a couple years ago. Well, excuse me! Forgive a person for getting a good nights' rest. I let it go, but recently started noticing that I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime in seconds. No kidding. So I called the doctor. They said I probably have sleep apnea, and since it IS DEADLY, they set up an appointment. I thanked them for the courtesy. We're on a roll...
Last year, I went tubing down the Guadalupe River. On the first set of rapids I slid off of my tube and slammed, butt first, onto a rock just under the surface. No problem, I had a tube to sit on the rest of the day, right? The next day I was in horrendous pain. Did I mention I had to sleep on an air mattress that night? A year later, I still cannot sit for over twenty minutes without my ass bone aching. I hate my 40's, allow me to continue...
I have noticed that for the last three months, the frequency of my heartburn has increased to the point that I get it only when I breathe. Sounds fun, huh? I take twice the recommended dosage of heartburn pills because the recommended dosage should be prescribed for a pidgeon. I've also tried Prilosec and it works once it kicks in, which is approximately 4 days after ingestion. For more immediate relief, Tums is great if you like pink teeth. I'm in hell, moving on...
I opened my desk drawer yesterday, and felt an ache in my heart. Not the emotional kind, but an actual ache. I have felt it before, so I tried to ignore it. Then it happened again as I opened the stall door at Dennys. And once again getting into my car door this morning. Apparently, I'm getting chest pains from things that lock. Not even done...
Sorry about that, I forgot to mention a symptom of the sleep apnea. Since technically I can't breathe when I go to bed, I end up sleeping every night with my mouth ... you guessed it ... wide open. Just snoring away. I wake up daily with what feels like a fresh coat of varnish on the inside of my chomper. End up brushing my teeth for about a half hour. I can't believe my hair loss ever bothered me at all. It seems so long ago.
And now for the topper, the coup de gras, my closer ...
This past wednesday night, I decided to take a shower before I went out to eat. When I got undressed and stood in front of the mirror, I noticed something else. One was on the inside of my left leg and two were under my right arm pit. Wanna guess what they were? Skin tags! Are you kidding me? Well, I've had them before and I had burned them off with a matchstick. Don't ask, my mom showed me the trick years ago. Anyway, the last time I did that was easy. I figured this time would be no different. I was wrong. The two under my arm came off, but the one on my leg was a little bigger than I thought and apparently had roots. I burned and burned and burned, and it wouldn't come off. BUT, the next morning I noticed it did turn black ... like a tick. Now I had a dead black tick-looking skin tag that was still on my leg. Fortunately, I had thoroughly deadened the nerve endings, so I was able to cut half of it off with what else? Nailclippers.
Til next time, keep 'em laffin'....

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Friday, May 08, 2009
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http://www.dailycomedy.com/joke/17701 According to the USA Today, an increase in unemployment has prompted an increase in pregnancies nationwide. Apparently, women seem to want a lot more sex these days. These women do not live in my complex. 
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