i went to block party. it was great. got drunk and danced. yea thats nothing new. i dance when im drunk. it was fun. i love to dance and should more often but without the drinking. ok maybe without the drinking. haha. i also went on the moon bounce and got jumped on by alot of kids. drove a doom buggie type thing. i loved that!!!  then paul and i got into fight again. so that made the rest of the night crap.

went to dawns and cories 8/2. i slept alot!! k wanted to stay at my moms. got k and went swimming with collin and chels. again had alot of fun. k wanted to go into the pool shes doing great in the pool. was eatting dinner there  someone i look up to soooo much and lovecome over and said that all i think about is myself. not to come around again. so that about killed me.

not upset anymore just mad. this is the same person that said i need to get out more do more for myself and that i have k too much. i need to get out of the depression yada yada yada. now im doing more laughing more then i have in at least 5 years and getting myself together im being told all i think about is me. if all i thought about was myself then i would have done what my dad did along time ago. im enjoying life and sticking up for myself and people need to get over it. if that means not talking to me then fuck u. i dont need anymore crap in my life. this year has been such a hard year for me NOONE knows. its getting sooo much better and i will never feel like i did. i will never feel like dying is away out. i will not let people talk to me like shit and i will not let people think i dont have control over my own life.
 

i got a new fish tank. set it up and all that crap. then put the 2 new fish in it. went to bath room and k dumped a whole can of fish food into it. wow i saw red. she was in time out and can not feed them again. took forever to redo it all. oh well.

walking and playing in the rain is one of my fav things to do in the summer. i had so much fun. k rolled down a hill into a huge puddle. it was great. we played at the play ground with gianna,her friend and collin. the slide was crazy fast.

went to mcdonalds in pburg. theres an in door play thing. we were there a while. it was fun.

i hate being some place when i really want to be some where else. other then that it was a good day.

i was asked if i could change places with anyone.. dead or a live who would it be. well ive been thinking about it for sometime cause i really had clue. well today i came up with an answer. me. theres people i look up to and respect but i dont know what they really have going on. i dont know there real feelings or worries. at least i know mine. i know what i have to deal with and what blessings i have i would not want to give up. so yea thats my answer. things could be better yea but things could be worse. so im happy to be me.


i had a good week. was in easton most of the time. slept at my brothers with k. did not like the basement or sunburn but thats ok. k did alot of new things this week. she went in a pool with a ladder with just a tube. she does not like pools over her head. let alone go around by herself. she played with sparklers (with me there) she never wanted to hold one before. and she watched fire works without crying and liked them!!! wow these are big steps for a 3 year old.

k started dance class last monday. she loves it!!! she made friends and likes her teacher.


went to ringing rocks 2 times this week. i like it there. i like the woods. i get mad when i see trash all over the place but its not as much as in the city. yea not a city girl here at all!!