find the light :

find the light behind your eyes

walk the path between the lines

that you set that night.

trying hard; trying to hold back these tears

fighting with all my fears

of losing my life.

and if its so easy...if its so easy

then why does the weight on my heart, 

feel like its gonna break.

With your hand in mine,

we walk to the edge to take the fall.

 i look at you and you smile at me.

As we get ready to jump you let me go.

I can't catch myself and i fall alone into the dark the light is gone.

And as i fall i look back at you and ask why,

you reply:"Why not". as if i was nothing,

and with a demonic smile you turn around and walk away.

I hit the ground and shatter like glass and i realize you were a lie.

And for me, well i was nothing more than pieces of pain, hurt and memories of liar.

Life is funny like that. good suffer for the bad.

sweet take a chance on the sour.

And the bitter love to turn those around jaded.

But i'm not your sad story anymore.

I've turn my dark into light.

My pain will be a song that will break you.

so smile for the angel, she got her wings back

and she will fly again.

fly right over you.

now your the second thought.

Tell me hows it feel?

 A heart may feel empty and cold like a dark room when it is left to die.

one could only take so much heartache before ones heart likes the silent dark

Loving you is Hell, and I'm tired of being burned.

This years love had better last
Heaven knows it's high time
And I've been waiting on my own too long
But when you hold me like you do
It feels so right
I start to forget
How my heart gets torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Feeling like you can't go on

Turning circles when time again
It cuts like a knife oh yeah
If you love me got to know for sure
Cos it takes something more this time
Than sweet sweet lies
Before I open up my arms and fall
Losing all control
Every dream inside my soul
And when you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last
This years love had better last

So whose to worry
If our hearts get torn
When that hurt gets thrown
Don't you know this life goes on
And won't you kiss me
On that midnight street
Sweep me off my feet
Singing ain't this life so sweet

This years love had better last

Love.

You have such a hold on me.

You control my thoughts, my actions, and my life.

You are my heaven.

My place of peace, My happiness, My Home.

Yet, I feel like nothing.

You could make me or break me.

And you choose to break.

My Bittersweet Love.

You say i'm your friend that you care, but you show no emotion. you show me nothing. if i died tomorrow would it matter not really. You call only when you need something only when i can be of some use to you. well its over no more using me no more Tara doing everything its over i hate how i feel and im not going to do it anymore. you think im a door mat well go find someone else to walk on. Tired of the shit,the drama, and most of all the lies. Fuck this! I made the first move too many times move your ass for a change, if not BYE!

To those who have shown their love to me you will never know how much it means to me thank you. I love you forever. You know who you are.

Nothing is wrong but i feel its not right.Smiling when your sad, laughting when your hurt...Why? I want more why can't i say that? why can't i have that? why is everything so diffcult? I know many would say stop asking question and do it but i did it before and it made my life worst.I want to feel worth it, but i settled on just being.i don't like not knowing what i want fully. i use to but now i don't really know.I want him but i don't want to deal with the pain. people say to me why him why bother and sometimes i can't tell them i love him cuz i don't know anymore. i care so much i forget me and when he is not there i remember to make myself happy and its great,but i always find myself at the end of the night wishing i could have that much fun with him like i use to. i hate this. do i love him? yes i know i do and i will forever. But am i in love with him?......sometimes i don't know and it scares me. i think he finally did it he push me to the end of my rope and now i have nowhere to go.

So, i really don't have anything to say just feel like writing. Im tired of feeling sad, but it seems like it comes and goes so i maybe getting better, i dunno. i have alot to look forward to pirates day...hope my outfit comes in, wicked...it will be so cool, My chemical romance...thank you dianne =), lots of concerts in the summer, trip to NJ, and something big for my birthday. Yet i feel like something is missing i always feel like something is missing, i have fun but sometimes i find myself just going along with the emotions. I know part of me is still missing him ( friends know his name) but i cant, well im trying not to. it is just hard cuz he made things worth it...when it was good. and that little add on to the sentence is why i am trying not to miss him. i want back the guy i knew that made everything seem just a little bit better, shine just a little bit brighter cuz he was there. but he is not that guy but a shell of a man he once was. i was willing to help and i still am but he is what he is, he had a choice and chose to be where he is. why God only knows, but i hope one day i can see him smile like he did and i hope for the same for me. If i had my way he would be in my life and i would do anything to make his life better, but he would have to want better just as much as i want better for him. its hard to love and hate a person but, i guess some people just get so far under your skin they get to your heart. he fixed me i just wish i could have fixed him, not to make him better to make him see he was and still is better.

Enough Said.