I got a message from an old girlfriend today.  We were catching up and she was telling me about her job and mentioned that she had a pair of nerf dart guns in her desk for venting at her colleagues.  I thought this was amusing, because I have two of those small plastic disc-shooting guns in mine.  I've had them ever since I graduated college, having purchased them shortly after starting my first job in the "real" world. 

It's always nice to reconnect with someone and discover some little thing that you both had in common and continued to carry with you even as the years scroll by......

I have been lucky in that I remain good, if not close, friends with most of my ex's.  The partings weren't always amicable, but after a period of time all you really remember (or, at least, all I try to remember) is how enjoyable it was to be around them.  When you see them or hear them on the phone, it's easy to greet her with a smile and catch up. Talk about things that have changed and things that have stayed the same.

When tragedy struck an ex of mine last month, it had the misfortune of being one of the few that I haven't stayed in touch with, and have always wished I had.  The absence of that connection only magnified the pain I felt over the news, and how powerless I felt to do anything to help.  Compounded with an experience from another relationship, it was a miserable time for me.  Never had the divide felt so great.

I have always felt lucky that I remain good friends with the majority of my ex-girlfriends.  So why on earth, when such tragic news strikes, does it fall upon one of the few I can't reach out and help?

When I had just finished a rough time in a long-distance relationship that had been going on for several years, my girlfriend sent me this note:

In my search for inspiration I came across 2 quotes that shed some light and helped me to kind of deal with what was going on with us. Just thought I would share…"You know you are in love when the same person who makes you so happy makes you so mad." "Love doesn't just sit there like stone. It has to be made like bread; remade all the time, made new." (Ursula Le Guin)

I am glad we decided to make new bread. Oh yeah, there was one more…"I love you. And it's getting worse." (Joseph Morris)

Here's to making new bread and reconnecting......

(Keep Talking – Pink Floyd)

Take note:

200mcg/kg

170lbs = 78kg

200mcg * 78 kg = ~15mg

NOT 3mg.

If you are a doctor, prescribing medication based on your patient's weight, make sure you do the math.  'Nuff said.

T

In some ways, we really are our own worst enemy.  I had that epiphany today and quickly followed it with the thought that while it is clearly true all the time, if you're not paying active attention to it you just might be suffering more than you need to be.

Back in college I participated in a group that included a weeklong project of introspection--basically, you spend a week speaking as little as necessary to other people to maintain civility.  The intent is to use the time we normally spend socializing with others focused on examining various aspects of ourselves--our morals, our goals, our behavior towards others, and, perhaps most importantly, how we create obstacles for ourselves in becoming the person we want to be.  The project was fed by daily activities designed to force us to look at ourselves as how we are and compare it to how we wanted to be.

I had participated in various school- and church-lead seminars prior to this that may have lasted 1 to 3 hours and usually consisted of a bunch of insecure kids snickering at the idea of talking about those things aloud.  This week was different.  There was really only one audience--you.  And as the week progressed it became harder and harder to lie to yourself as you considered the questions.

The week turned out to be much more powerful for me than I expected.  It was over 10 years ago.  Today, after certain events inspired that "epiphany" I mentioned above, I realized how long it's been since I've really tried to sit down and be introspective.  I don't think I'm in a bad way or anything, but I suspect that if I can find the time I just might be able to identify some ways in which I'm my own worst enemy and figure out how to get those obstacles out of my way......

T

Getting wayyyy too much spam these days. 

Okay, I told'em I wouldn't do it, but I gotta ask:  Has anyone out there ever heard of shooting hydrogen peroxide up your nose to "clean out" your sinuses?

No, I'm not making that up.  A friend on mine did that recently.  From advice.  From her mother.  Seriously, who's mother would do that to their own child?  I got this GREAT story about how the "fizzing" spread all throughout her head and, "the PAIN, Tim, it HURT!"

It didn't seem to work, either.  Her little head cold persisted for a few days....

I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend.  I found myself unexpectedly at home between trips and managed to spend some time relaxing.

I didn't make the Ocean Drive race--in fact, I haven't made any races yet despite my stated intention to start running a few.  I haven't had much time to run, either, though.  I did get in a nice run out in Portland, OR.  There's a rather large bit of greenspace on the river there downtown and the weather was perfect--neither too hot or cold.  I ran a lot farther and faster than I intended and even though most of it was on grass (paved sidewalks in parks??) my knees were killing me when I finished.  That doesn't usually happen unless I get close to 10 miles, but I think this time it was the speed more than anything else.  Regretfully, my bag for that trip was already over 75 lbs and I didn't take my Garmin GPS heart monitor.  I wish I had, now, as it would have been an interesting set of maps to track when I got back home.

My trip also took be through GA and I got a chance to see some family for a couple of days.  Always nice when you can mix in a little personal time on a business trip.  I have a lot of old friends in GA, too, though, and I rarely find time--between work and the family visits--to catch up with them.  (So if you're reading this, I'm sorry I didn't call.  I was working long days downtown and didn't have a whole lot of time.)  My cousin Ben has gotten engaged (congrats, bro!) and it seems like all of my single cousins are dropping like flies.  I'm a little envious, to be sure--especially of the ones who have started families of their own.

Which reminds me:  my little sister is pregnant.  (Congrats to you to, Lu!)  She has an ultrasound this week, but insists she will not entertain hearing the gender of the baby until s/he is born.  Personally, I'm in the pool ($5) that some nurse or doctor will inadvertently spill the beans.  God have mercy on that poor soul, because my sister will be hopping mad if that happens!

June will be travel heavy, but hopefully I'll have a few stories to tell (if I can find the time to write them up) and maybe a new picture or two!

T

...spent away from home.  When I got home last week, my place was "stale" (for lack of a better word--and I'm sure you know what I mean, anyways).  Now that the weekend has come and gone, it's in much better shape.

It was nice to come home.  Not that I wasn't enjoying what I was doing or where I was, but it's nice to come back to a place you own and unwind.  For that matter, it was nice to be back in a part of the world where people pay attention to basic traffic laws.  I was in some places where not only were there no real concepts of "lanes", sometimes folks would just drive over into oncoming traffic because it was easier to navigate!

It was a good trip, though.  My one regret was that I wasn't able to stop by one store I'd heard about for its fascinating souveniers.  Guess I'll just have to try to get back to that corner of the world sometime in the next 10-15 years. 

I actually took notes of little stories to relate while I was gone.  But I lost the little notepad I was using.  I'm a little disheartened about that, as that pad is one of two items I usually travel with.  The other is a $4 Sudoku book I picked up somewhere.  I don't remember where.  Every time I start a puzzle, I jot down the date and the city/country I'm in.  I figured it would be an easy way to remember all the places I've been and so far it's worked out pretty well.

I got an email from a friend today about a race this weekend down on South Beach.  (www.oceandriverun.com)  Not sure if work will play nice, but I'm going to try to make it.  I've never actually run in an organized race, but I've been thinking about it for the last 6 months or so.  I run quite a bit and have several coworkers who race all the time and it sounds like a good way to spend some free time. 

I got my tax return done last week.  Well, minus some info from my last employer where I have some stock, but I can't do anything with that until they send me the paperwork.  I'm not sure what I'll do with my refund this year.  I'll have to sock some of it away for property taxes next November, but gotta decide between upgrading the furniture (read:  home theater) or remaking some part of the house (probably the kitchen or master bath.  maybe both).  Got any suggestions?

Oh, and my folks asked if they could come down in the near future.  My sister implied that they have been waiting for an invitation and she seemed a little put out that I hadn't given them one yet, but then she hasn't seen my place.  Since I live alone, my second bedroom is used primarily to store my books, workout equipment, this computer, my records, etc.  It's not really a guest bedroom (which, I guess, it should be).  Their first attempt to score tickets fell through when I caught that extended overseas voyage, so I got a little extra time to figure out what to do.  I have moved the larger bookcase into the closet and plan to move the other and the file cabinet into there, too.  (Yes, I have really big closets for such a small house.)    That will help.

The other issue is a car.  My truck is a '99 and it's old and fairly unreliable.  I had a reconditioned engine installed almost two years ago (not much choice, it fell apart halfway here from Maryland) and have been drawing it out to recoup that investment.  It's paid off and the lack of having a monthly car payment has been really nice--I don't really want to give that up.  But the truck is a 2-door.  Not really something I can drive around town in with my folks.  I can't really see either of them scrambling into the backseat.  So I'll either have to rent (probably a better financial decision) or suck it up and buy a new/used ride.  I could lease without any real problem--I've put about 3,000 miles on my truck in the last two years (--company car) and wouldn't have to worry about the mileage limit, since it's usually 8-12k a year--so I may take a look at doing that for 2 or 3 years rather than buying outright.

I guess the first step will be running over to CarMax and getting an estimate on what they'd give me for the truck.

Thinking about a new ride, I saw a Toyota FJ today that I liked.  The standard, two-tone, smurf-colored ride wasn't particularly compelling, but the one I saw today was solid black and I thought it looked pretty sharp.  A guy I know (and trust) about cars says Toyota is the place to go for trucks and Lexus for sedans.   I'm leaning toward Toyota.  A Highlander or Forerunner.  Maybe an FJ.

My buddy Rich sent me a picture the other night.  He had his one year anniversary with Carrie.  Congrats, guys!

T

I have had some fantastic arguments in my day.  Some were so mind-boggling spectacular that our friends would hurriedly leave the room.  That's why it was so refreshing to find this site that shows there are other guys out there who have had it as bad as me:

http://www.milmillington.com/

I made it about an eighth of the way down the list and spotted a few arguments I could relate to.  And couldn't stop laughing about reading these.  The one about watching movies on the couch with the g/f was priceless.

I had intended to post a long update but that site preempted it.  You really need to go check it out.

That said, I returned for my voting trip and manages to stay around town until Thanksgiving, when I headed north to see the fam.  My older sister had just recently had her hip replaced and was still recovering, so helping her handle her 6-year old and 3-year old twins was the priority of the week.  Unsurprisingly, my presence wasn't really needed.  My sister has somehow managed to raise 3 very well disciplined kids and she was able to keep the peace while hobbling around on crutches.

It's neat to see kids grow up from an uncle's perspective.  I manage to see them only a couple of times a year and it's very much like those old delayed-time films we used to watch in grade school science class.  You know, the ones where you watch a seed grow into a flower in the span of 30 seconds?  It seems like they've changed so much since I saw them last, while my sisters and parents hardly seem to change at all anymore.

And the personalities.  Whoa.  When they get caught doing something they're not supposed to be doing, or are told they are about to do something they don't want to do, the reactions are unique.  The eldest will argue in a heartbeat.  The girl will do her best to charm, and the youngest boy will simply shut down and stand there mute and still as a statue.  I think he realizes he doesn't have the language skills to win an argument yet and is simply biding his time until he can take over the world. ;)

So the week with them was a blast.  We went down to the basement and dug out Uncle Tim's old LEGOs and spent entire afternoons spilling them all out onto the newly laid carpet.  My dad is finishing the basement on his own.  I've always known that he was quite the handyman around the house.  Probably 10-15 years ago, he decided to build a new room onto the back of the place.  An elevated room (ie, on stilts) because the house in on a hill and the backyard is actually level with the basement.  So he built it.  Oh, sure, he had his brothers come down to help, but he built it.  When he announced he was finally getting started on the basement, I was surprised only that he had decided to go through with (he had been talking about it for so long), not that he intended to do all of the work himself.  I just found out last year from my uncle (my dad's youngest brother) that my dad spent most of his summers in high school and college working for a homebuilder doing various types of work.  And his brothers spent time doing it too. 

I am now convinced that every young person should be required to do 3 things before the age of 25:  spend a year at a job working on cars, spend two years working on houses, and spend 3 years in some type of civil service (EMT, firefighter, cop, teacher, etc.).  I think we'd all be richer for the experience.

Getting back into town after turkey day I discovered that I actually didn't have any business trips on the schedule for two weeks.  I almost didn't know what to do with myself around the office.  The last time that had happened was back in August.  My first Christmas party of the season was last Friday with a bunch of folks from work.  A couple of guitars showed up and the free-flowing libations kept us all out later than we had planned.  I'm still a little scarred by the "Can't Get No Satisfaction" performance. 

It looks like that might be the only Xmas party I make it to this year.  I had a trip that was supposed to take all of this week, but it was cancelled--which is just as well, because the next week or so will be extremely busy.  It looks like I'll be spending Christmas in Key West, but might make it home in time for NYE out on South Beach with some old friends (Hi Val, Missy, and Glen).

But who knows?  That's the beauty of the job......

See ya next time,

T

Just got back from another week on the road.  Went up and hit Missouri and then made a quick stop in Texas to vote.

I'd never been to Missouri before and didn't realize just how cold it gets there in the winter.  Look at it on the map--it's really not all that far north.  But it was COLD.  One of those days where I have those little self-warming packets in my coat pockets and my boots.  And I still got cold.

Texas was nice, though.  Much like south Florida, their winters are full of sunny weather in the 60s and 70s.

Meant to get a few pics while I was out, but we worked so much there was little time for that.  I've got a day or two of downtime before I head out again, I think.  The trip hasn't come down yet, but I'm trying to anticipate it.  Which reminds me, I need to go move my laundry to the dryer....

Tim