Thanks for reading!
My life has been super full with midwives and baby-lead-ups of all kinds. We are due this week. Surely you will see the news here/ on my profile pict. etc.
Lent has typically been a season of serious introspection for me, thought this year has been quite different. With all the baby preparations and meditations I've hardly been mournful or repentant.
I made several paintings for a lent theme show. I found that process helpful.
I've been reading Humility by Andrew Murray and the Sabbath by Abraham Heschel. Those have been giving lots of food for thought.
We got rid of television when the digital change happened. I don't miss it except for the times I come home from work ready to plop for about 30 minutes. But there was never anything good on at that time anyway.
Obama, budget, war, G12 or whatever it is now. I have raw opinions but nothing to say right now.

Okay, comment and help me get blogging here again.
Shalom

I like a teacher who can make hard subjects seem easy.
We moved to community for many reasons, but one is to gain some inner healing.
Everyone has issues and we are no accept ion. Anger or fear, or just being really easy to hurt are all flags that I have baggage. I know that much of it comes from our time in ministry. Ministry encourages vulnerability - putting yourself "out there". Often that vulnerability is done before enough trust is established. I've been vulnerable to model vulnerability and build trust... and it's come back to bite me sometimes.

So there is a new seminar being offered here through our fellowship on healing. The first session last night was great, and I hope we can attend with regularity.
Here is the simplified simple version that they gave as the overview (if I seem redundant here, it's because I want to be cautious): Step 1, remember a time when you feel really close to the Lord, when he is near and you sense his presence and care. Appreciate that moment. Appreciation opens a pathway in our brain to being open to God's voice in the now. (Typically, remembering a past moment will help you to sense His presence in this moment)
Step 2, bring up the presenting issue of pain, or trouble, or whatever thing you have not finished processing - anything that is not yet redeemed for good. Look that thing in the face until you can't deal with it and when it starts to hurt again, go back to the good intimate memory of Jesus. When you feel safe with Jesus again, ask him what that pain is about. As you are given insight and peace, go back into the painful situation until you get stuck again - then back to Jesus.

Sounds pretty simple.
I guess this has a lot to do with how well you can do Part 1 - if you can't access Jesus' presence through a specific memory, then you should not try Part 2. If you are able to remember to return to Jesus when you are feeling pain, or when you're getting stuck, then you might be able to work through stuff on your own... but it is usually necessary to have a coach type person to keep bringing you from Part 2 back to Part 1 and over and over.
Just because it's simple does not mean it's quick, or easy, or for everyone.
If you don't know that Jesus is really living and here now (immediately present) then you can't practice this.
I think we are going to start working on our own issues in the seminar sessions, starting with low level problems... not the huge stuff. Crawl before you walk.

In the south, it seemed like people would just think that knowing Jesus would heal all your baggage. And if you still had problems, then you didn't really know Jesus. I like the way this process carefully deals with problems one by one.
What do you think?
I'll update as we continue to learn.
Oh - I have not learned how to stop hurting people yet.

     Thank you all for continuing to read this little web-log. I have been writing about once a week at http://wakeupdate.blogspot.com.

 New insights are coming a little slower these days. I am sure it has to do with me not slowing down enough to meditate on the ordinary stuff of the day. Our life has been ordered by the ordinary lately: food, dishes, laundry, work, rent, parenting. We have a new baby girl coming to us this April. I have a job selling Amish furniture, and making custom designs. Candace has a job now working with folks with disabilities.

      We now live a life not protesting the system, but certainly subversive. We live in the most affluent city we’ve ever lived in, but we are living on less than ever. We are among more non-Christians than ever, but we live among a Christian community. I sell plain furniture made by simple people to very fancy people.

     A few snippets from my thinking lately:

     I am happy to see what national and international unity Obama is bringing about already. He has done more pre-election than we’ve been used to in the last 12 years. Most of the last 10 Illinois governors are in prison… but that’s a different story.

     We have snow. The days are pretty short. I remember my childhood in ....Kansas City...., playing in the snow and such. I’d forgotten.

     People here are well educated, and I like that. There is no shame in talking about things that you understand. I think in ..Texas.. / my high school experience of Texas people sort of dumbed down their conversation. Here the sermons and the table-talks are more substantive. That will help me grow on an intellectual level. (No offense, ....Texas....).

     I have a thought on Jews and business, but that’s another blog all together.

     Within the community, there are a number of artists. Together we have opened a gallery on Main Street, and I have sold a few things, plus I have earned my first major commission. I like getting fair payment for my work as an artist. I like that the community is encouraging me to paint, and I like that we are all in it together.  I think I am getting better and I feel like I might be able to make the painting thing work. I have been thinking about the community versus progress paradigm (some of you know what I am referring to) and how progress can happen in a healthy way when we are in community, progressing as a unit. It’s fun to see how far we can go when we’re together.

     If you are interested in my artwork (especially any commissions!) see www.evanstonatelier.com/joshmccallister.

     Do you ever think of yourself as one of the Jews in exile in ....Babylon....? “Oh come oh come Emanuel, and ransom captive ....Israel.....”

Yes Lord. Amen, and peace this Christmas.

Shhh - wait.
Monumental things happened last night. I would like to direct you all to the other blog I write with candace: http://wakeupdate.blogspot.com - we wrote one last night that goes into this further.
We went to a worship service last night to proclaim and remember that Jesus is the King and we are loyal citizens of His unshakeable Kingdom.
There was a message read and performed about the people of God throughout history putting their hope in kings and emperors (and now presidents) while God longs for all of their hope to be placed in Him and His security.
The biblical command repeats and repeats that a figurehead we choose will take from us all that we've worked for and command massive armies made of our children, growing arrogant with power. Again and again, God asks His people to be quiet and wait upon the Lord.
This election was a big deal for our nation.
But our allegiance is to Jesus alone.

Here's to peace and justice where all things are well and when all things are made new.

In Evanston
Hello all! We have made a long trip to Chicago. There will be a more official web log on http://wakeupdate.blogspot.com so look there.
Here is my little version: Now sitting in a cool local coffee shop, but they are playing Bjork (whom I really dislike, so the writing may be sub-par). We arrived here yesterday in the late morning. We had planned on making it here on Friday, after a long haul from Arkansas, but had a blowout on I55 on the rented car dolly, which was carrying the Honda Element, our only car now.
The delay cost us and we had to take a night in a hotel, but much worse could have happened.
Reba people will help us unload soon. We'd planed on having that happen yesterday, but yesterday Chicago received a record rain of 6.6 inches – Jealous Clovis? It's still raining some, but we have to get the job done.
Went to Reba's worship service today, and it was/is amazing. If you want to see what a good church looks like, I suggest you visit us over a weekend. They call the building the "meeting house" because the church consists of the people, who live in the world. So I like that. And the community of church members has been extremely hospitable, cooking for us and serving us, putting us up on their hide-a-beds, playing with Jedidiah. These are quality new friends.
The sermon was about forgiveness, and that was important for me. I will learn about forgiveness now that I am away from Kingswood. I have forgiving to do. The worship was beautiful, and I connected with it on an emotional level – and I'm dead inside, so that should tell you something. I believe that there will be healing for me here.
That's all for now, because I want to say the good stuff at the other blogspot. But there IS more!!!
Peace to you all.
Josh

Candace and I have been preparing for a change for some time, and recently we feel we've found clarity and a call to move. We are moving to the Chicago area, into an intentional Christian community called Reba Place Fellowship (www.rebaplacefellowship.org).

If you know me (and you must to be a myspace friend) then you know that I like the idea of following Jesus in my ordinary life, and that I like the idea of living with other people and disciplining my soul to love people when it's costly and inconvenient… I like the IDEA of it. I expect that actually doing this will be a good bit harder than agreeing with the notion.

We feel God has led us through the discernment of friends, through our own prayer, though circumstances and the discipline of the Holy Spirit. Several times before we've asked God if we could leave this town and this church, but always we were detained by some thin suggestion that we should stay. Now we have permission in a sense, to go on. I personally feel like this is a step toward my life calling as I understand it – to one-day start a community.

There is a lot of excitement in following the lead of God as we understand it*, but also some nerves and pain for leaving the people here that we have loved for five years. I have not moved away from a place without a predetermined exit date (graduations, or contractual jobs).

Nervous because we don't know people out there, we will need jobs (pray for us for those!) that pay more than we currently make, we haven't dealt with a Chicago winter before, we leave Gonzo behind, Jedi is not going to know what's happened… we just have our routine going for us here, and we're leaving all that.

I wanted to tell you people about our stuff. I want to talk about some of the disappointments from living here as well. I want to explain how I need healing, and how I think that Reba will help with that. Maybe if you're interested, I'll talk to you about it.

JWM


*Please know that I don't claim to be fully informed that this is what God is telling us to do (that would mean you cannot contest it because "thus saith the Lord!" and well, we aren't like that.)
Another website: www.newmonasticism.org

I have been trying to keep up with politics to a degree (not letting it take over my life, or make me angry like I got during the last election). My central information supplier is MSNBC's Meet the Press podcast. It's the same as the Sunday morning show, but I am not home for TV on Sunday mornings.
I loved Meet the Press because of the host, Tim Russert. He was a solid man, known for his intense questioning. If a political type came on the show unprepared to talk about a misstep or mistake, Russert was all over that person. I learned a lot through Russert, because he was really prepared to talk to these political types.
But two weeks ago Tim Russert died at work suddenly. Now I don't know who to listen to from the main stream media. I know I should get information about politics from something other than network television - I read the Christian Science Monitor onliine, but get more info from an hour with Russert.
I just wanted to express how i am grieving the loss of this public figure. I miss Tim already, for his quality work and his contribution to honesty in government.
If you have any recommended voices for me (nothing from Fox news), please fill me in.

Good Friday
Jesus: Come to me all you who are tired and heavily burdened, for I am lowly (meek) and humble in heart. My yolk is easy and my burden is light.
He says "come" but my addictions are something I don’t want to part with. The spirit desires but the flesh does not.
Does this fit with Christ? His "passion" was not the only emotion he experienced this day. I think of passion as kind of an emotional drive. He didn’t want to die in that way. He wrestled, but chose the greater good. He chose to submit to the will of the Father. Is the Father’s yolk easy or light? Is it not harder than the way of the flesh? that broad and downhill way that leads to pain, loss, destruction, and death. The Father’s yolk didn’t look easy to Jesus, or to me. Jesus’ way is more difficult than what he’d lead me through. Was the Father’s suffering even greater than the Christ’s?
---------

The big controversy worth being killed over in this Good Friday we remember is that Jesus was an enemy of the state when He agreed that He was King. Caesar alone was the king, according to law. And as king, Caesar was a god in their minds.
The Greeks too were looking for a divine king.

Note these 8 steps in inaugurating a new Caesar:
1 The Praetorian Guard would be gathered.
2 Guards got a purple robe, a wreath made of gold, and a scepter for the candidate.
3 Caesar was loudly acclaimed as triumphant.
4 A procession ensued; Caesar was followed by a sacrificial bull (who would mark Caesar’s entrance to the divine). A slave marched next to the bull carrying the axe to kill the bull.
5 The procession went to the highest hill (in Rome)
6 The candidate is offered a bowl of wine mixed with myrrh, he took it as if to accept, and then gave it back. The wine gets poured out, and immediately the bull is killed.
7 Caesar gathers his cabinet – who will be his second and third in command on his right/left.
8 For divine approval, the gods would send signs: a flock of birds, an eclipse…
(N.T. Wright, "Upstaging the Emperor")

Now, if you read Mark 15:16-39 you will understand what the author is really saying, and why the Roman soldier responded as he did.

Maundy Thursday (John 13-17)
On Thursday, Jesus had some Disciples prepare the Passover meal, and then they got together in the evening and ate it. During the very familiar process of that celebration He added a few really weird things, "This cup is the New Covenant in my blood, this is my body given for you," That week, if not that night, the Disciples argued about who should be most important in the coming Rule of Jesus. He washed their feet. He confers upon them His Kingdom. He prays for them (John 17) and us, that we might have unity and love each other like the Father loves the Son – that would be the point of the Church. After dinner the go out to a garden where Jesus wrestles in prayer – he doesn’t want to do what he’s being asked to do. His friends sleep.

Imagine the King of the Universe telling you that you are friends.
Imagine Him washing your feet.
I believe that it is better to give than to receive, but I think it’s harder (on the pride) to receive than to give. How do you take the service of a King? It is the heart, where pride exists, that Jesus asks us to transform first, to be without pride. My pride hurts almost daily. I am humiliated by the service of my King. And honored.

I can’t write it all here, but there is something profound about the way Jesus takes, blesses, breaks and gives the bread. I like to remember that. [Ask if you want more.]

That bit about this New Covenant, that was a lot like the language of marriage proposals in the culture in the day – with the wine and everything. Jesus was proposing marriage to the Disciples (and to us) in a serious spiritual way. If you cannot receive that, you have not fully received Jesus’ message.
The New Covenant is a fascinating subject found in Jeremiah 31. Jesus is the fulfillment. Those boys probably didn’t get it in the moment.

We are invited to accept what we do not fully understand. Trust Him. Meditate on His Word. Let His Word abide in you.

The Brains and the Brawn of God
1 Corinthians 1:22-25
"For indeed Jews ask for signs and Greeks search for wisdom; but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness, but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the Wisdom of God. Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men."

Jews and Greeks were living in Palestine at the time of Jesus. Jews wanted miracles (signs) and Jesus could do them… but in comparison to other legendary "gods" Jesus did just a few, and not very big when compared to Hindu gods or other folk-lore. Jesus did several healings and just before this holy week, he raised a man from the dead. But that wasn’t exactly the point of his life, I don’t think. The Jews were disappointed when their chosen leader told them he’d die soon. He should have better superpowers than that.

The Greeks wanted Philosophy, and Jesus had that too. He taught in the Temple, savvy to the philosophic styles of the day. He was never caught without a response. He asked profound questions, as did the best of the Rabbis. None of the most educated people could out smart him. But instead of self-preservation, His wisdom led Him to death, ridicule, and what would cause me ultimate embarrassment. He looked like a fool, "can’t even save himself… how can he save the whole world?"
He didn’t fit their concepts.

God’s ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts.
I have decided that Jesus was the most wise and most powerful man ever to walk the earth.

Now my definitions of wisdom and power must adjust to Him.