Holy smokes. I feel like I just ran into an old boyfriend, who looks very familiar, but makes me nervous even though I have nothing to be nervous about. In reality, I was just checking out my old website's blog. It was a constant companion and coach to me when I needed a source of accountability in my quest to give birth to a novel.

I've read hundreds of reviews from the grand opening of the KISS Coffee House in Myrtle Beach, but I was surprised none of the reports mentioned what I considered the hallmark of the new digs. I agree with the masses who gave an A to the food, drinks and atmosphere. I loved the multimedia spectacle both inside and outside the cafe', and I must admit that the chocolate chip cookies tasted so delicious, I almost wept. But, after testing the official KISS coffee blends and drinking two gallons of water in order to stay hydrated during the 11-hour wait to meet Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, I had one pressing question: How is the bathroom?

The ladies' room in the KISS Coffee House is actually a unisex lavatory, identified by the Psycho Circus curtain painted on the door. Inside, a gigantic Creatures of the Night mural covers the wall closest to the toilet. The black light that illuminates the room exaggerates the glow-in-the-dark eyes of the painted band members. That image alone makes a trip to the loo worth the trip, but there's more! A clear acrylic vanity encloses blood-red neon tube lighting, and the sink is adorned by an artsy silver faucet and water handle. Tres chic!

Most KISS fans I know are thoughtful and classy, but a few miss the mark, if you know what I mean. A few weeks ago, I had to buy a handheld black light to find spots of pee on my carpet when my cat was litter training. The KISS Coffee House followed my lead and predicted that some of the more animalized fans might call out the fire hose, but forget to lick it up when they finished their business. The black light on the ceiling helps an otherwise hard luck woman spot the love gun spray and destroy it before that shock me moment of late discovery. Bravo, KISS Coffee House!

All in all, I give the KISS latrine a full 5-Starchild rating. If you're ever in South Carolina, you can feel safe ordering the platinum size rockuccino.

Oh my. I guess it's that time again. Someone on my website guestbook took the time to point out the glaring hypocrisy of my career in education vs. my website and MySpace profile. As a deep believer in the values of the liberal arts, I appreciate and enjoy the exercise of comparing and contrasting my values. I only wish that the signer had given truthful information in his/her posting so I could engage in a true dialogue. It may very well be that I should be taken to task, but I'm not sure why.

I like KISS. Lord help me, but I do. I can't even explain fully why their music speaks to me, but it does. Being a KISS fan doesn't mean that I do drugs, drink, or engage in crazy sexual behavior. In fact, I don't. I just like loud, happy rock & roll. KISS music helped inspire me to be a values-centered college dean, a published novelist, a contributing member of an orchestra, and a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. It's true that I've seen a lot of alcohol abuse, mistreatment of women, and violence in my days, but those were all things I witnessed among the college students I worked with, NOT in the rock world.

Can you listen to dopey music and still strive for intellectualism? I hope so. Cognitive growth takes place when you're exposed to as many different ideas and experiences as possible. When you learn that seemingly opposing views don't contradict each other, there is a confusion (we call it "dissonance" in my field) that leads to a healthy process of analyzing the world (we call that "critical thinking"). I don't want everyone to like KISS, or like me, but I do want them to realize that I can be a KISS fan and still be a feminist, an activist, and maybe even a role model. I just happen to do it with a tongue in my cheek.

Here's where my own dissonance kicks in. I'm scared. I left the world of education to travel for a year on behalf of my feminist novel, and I wasn't sure whether my book promotions would kill my career in college life. I've thought many times about closing down my website, but in the end, I've always reached the conclusion that *that* would be the most hypocritical move for someone who believes in the power of intellectual conflict. As I send out resumes now, I have a nervous flutter in my stomach when I think about the conclusions an employer might reach about me if she/he were to stumble upon KISSfiction.com. The fear can literally keep me up at night. But here I am, plugging along, relying on my faith in people's ability to see beyond the superficial.

I have to go now to rock & roll all night and party every day. For me today, that means washing dishes, laundry, writing up notes for my latest consulting job, hugging my monogamous boyfriend when he gets home, and reading a book I checked out of the public library this week.

I think I just had my best Halloween weekend EVER, and I've had some rockin' Halloweens. On Friday night, I taped an episode of "NY Rocks" tv show in (you guessed it) New York. I shared the stage with Jedis and an acting troop called Haunted Shakespeare. The show was sort of like SCTV's Count Floyd mixed with Janet Reno's Dance Party. It was my first TV interview in which a professional makeup artist was provided, so I felt so glam! I've been invited back to appear on the Christmas special. Sexy! The next night, I drove to Virginia for my first ever KISS party. It was a bunch of smart, normal people who just happen to love KISS karaoke, KISS trivia, KISS singalongs, KISSopoly and KISS treats. Where else can you say, "This party is like the the Ace Bash without the lame hotdogs" and everyone gets the joke?

Life used to be so easy before MySpace allowed us all to rearrange the hierarchy of our friends lists. The pressure to choose favorites is painful. I really love KISS, but everyone knows that, so maybe they should be bumped for my hippie friend Damion who could use a break in the biz. My friend Antoinette listens to all my problems like it's her job, but man Tommy Lee is just so fine! Is the selection of our friends some type of Rorshach test that tells the whole world something about ourselves that we don't even know ourselves? What about that feeling of victory when you see you've made the magic 8 on somebody else's page? Or the shame of knowing you're at best number 9? I think I'd like to go back to that time of magical innocence when Butch Davis shared space with some chick named HoochieGrrl4U whom, if I were honest, I'd have to admit I have no interest in meeting. Wait a minute! I know this feeling. It's just like choosing teams for kickball and I'm FINALLY the captain. So, in other words, those magic days of yore are bullshit.

It's time the Hall of Fame got its act together and recognized the hottest band in the world.

Holy sh*t!!! Go to CANASERAGA FALL FEST I have billing above the puppet show! Thank god! Someone please tell my agent she's not fired afterall.

Join up, folks! We can all meet there for the ultimate KISS party in August 2006. Whether you want to attend to thumb your nose at the Hall or demand a long-overdue omission, we can show the world what KISS means to the Army. SIGN UP HERE

I went to see my favorite KISS tribute band, KISS Nation last night, and I saw my favorite sexy singer. ERIC Singer, that is. You know - the current drummer for KISS and Alice Cooper. I gawked a little, but I wasn't willing to give up my spot in front of the stage in order to go say hello. I hope that doesn't mean I'm jaded. I prefer to think it gives credence to my claim that my love of KISS is "all about the music."

A couple months ago, I gave an interview to a celebrity website called Dean's Planet. I'd almost forgotten about it, but they posted it this weekend. The layout is super sexy! Check it out at www.deansplanet.com.