Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 30
Sign: Capricorn
City: SPRINGFIELD
State: OHIO
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/27/2006
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November 7, 2009 - Saturday
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Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Life
Aaaaaahhhhh.....My Dad has left the state. Or atleast I think he did. I know, that's sounds aweful. But if you have ever met my dad, you'd understand. My dad is the kind of person you can hang around for...hmmmm...probably no more than 2 hours before you feel like you have to take a step away and regroup. My mom? I can love her up close and personal all day long. But my dad? Not so much.
He's not one of those gregarious guys who come booming into the room, yelling their hellos, and pounding you on the back. But he seems to just bring noise in around him. When he's gone, their house is quiet. But the moment he steps through the door, there's this...this...this...upheaval, as my mom likes to call it. And she's right! She has the house pretty damn clean, and then he comes home, dragging all his junk in with him. And I understand that being a trucker, you're going to drag junk back home with you. But he comes home and spreads it out every where. His papers, his computer, his clothes, his food, etc. There's not an uncluttered surface to be had when he's home.
And you can feel tension coming off of him all the time. My dad isn't happy unless he's arguing with some one. In my minds eye, I see him with chest puffed out with hot air, hopping on his feet around in a circle, muttering, "Alright! Who's next!? Who's gonna come at me next?! I'm ready for 'em!" I asked him one day, after he was telling about how he couldn't wait for some one to give him a reason to fight about something insignificant, if he wasn't happy unless he had something or someone to fight with. And honestly answered me, "Yes. Because I'm not gonna let anyone push me around anymore."
Okay, I understand that concept. But that doesn't mean you have to turn into a prick to everyone. It doesn't mean you have to live your life looking for the next fight. That's a sad way to live! Because I see how it affects almost every aspect of his life. It's this vicious cycle he has going. He suspects the person is being a dick to him (and in most cases they weren't) because they didn't throw rose petals down for him to walk on and kiss his ass. Then he starts laying on the asshole routine so then the person who wasn't being a dick now really wants to fuck up his day. Then they do fuck up his day, and it goes back in forth. "I'm going to show them!" He'll shout. Call my mother about every verbal exchange he had with the dick, boasting about how rude he was, how bad he got under the guys skin, and drive her crazy, etc.
Another example of his I'm-not-going-to-let-any-one-push-me-around attitude is we heard that they were going to start charging $25 at the DMV when you're late renewing your tags. Yes, I agree, that sucks. And yes $25 dollars is a bit much. But what are you gonna do? He said, "Well, they're not getting my $25 dollors!" Okay, so you won't get your tags! I don't know if understands how much he sounds like an ass when he says things like that. Because whether he likes it or not, they're gonna get his money. Oh sure, he can give them a hard time about it (because we all know how he loves to fight about something) but he isn't going to get a pat on the back for it or anything. It's not like he's gonna start a revolution and stick it to the man. Calm the fuck down old man! Either get your tags on time or hand over your 25 bucks!
And when he's home it just gets so fucking loud. And I know some of the time the sound might be amplified by my annoyance of him. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "I can just hear him moving around over there in the house....with the windows shut....and his A/C on. He's so LOUD!" But he really is loud. Because he tends to mow his lawn as late as 9:30 in the evening. Because his lawnmower has a head light. Just because he can! Or he'll have his tiller going, sometimes as late as 9:30 in the evening also.
Instead of taking his laptop into another room to watch his video's on it, he sets up at the kitchen table, which is right next to the living room, and turns his volume up. So you turn up the TV a little louder and then he turns up the volume on his video.
He's also turned into one of those assholes who wear they're bluetooth ALL...THE...TIME! I swear to God, he wears it even when he's sitting in his recliner. Why!? And he has a nasty habit of when you're talking to him, to dig out his cell phone, dial a number, and start talking to someone else. Without even so much as an, "Excuse me a minute. I really need to make this phone call." Now I know you might say, "Well, maybe that's a sign you talk to much." But I swear to God, he does this after only talking to me for 5 minutes.
Then he lets his dogs, Jack and Jill, out. There is a leash law in our neighborhood, but he seems to think those rules don't apply to him. He does keep Jill on a leash. Tgough sometimes, for some reason, he thinks he can trust her and goes out with her off leash. (This is how the dumb little dog has managed to get skunked 3 DIFFERENT TIMES! She saw the skunks and went right for them when she was off leash.) So then either early in the morning or late at night, you'll hear him screaming, "Jill! God damn it Jill! Get back here!" Then he brings them over to let them crap in my yard.
Or when he's letting the dogs out, he feels the need to sing, very loudly. Like you can hear him all the way up the street. Or he'll call to his dogs, "Heeeeeeeeerrrrreeeee JillJillJillJill! Heeeeeeeerrrrrreeeee JackJackJackJack!". Which is also loud enough to hear way up the street. But I live right next door, and the dogs aren't up the street. They're right there in the damn yard!
It makes me wonder if we didn't live here next door to him and someone else did? What would they think of him? Would they find him funny at first but then quickly tire of him? What would he do if they started complaining?
I was driving home from dropping my mom off at work today, and the song "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd came on the radio. I remember being a kid, listening to that record, and singing along with him. I remember a dad that was pretty easy going. He didn't quarell with everyone, but he also drank quite a bit too.
I know, these complaints don't seem like much. He never beat us, sexually abused us, etc. But he never made life easy with having to move all the time because of his drinking while we were growing up. And yes, he's also taught us a lot. That's why I have to say I actually do love him.....But it's so much easier to love him from afar sometimes.
It's been real, it's been fun, but for now, I'm done.
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November 4, 2009 - Wednesday
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Current mood:  calm
Category: Life
Okay so what else has been going on? So I bet you'd like to know what the deal is with the name changing to "Sweet Meenda". Well, maybe you're not on the edge of your seat, but maybe it's crossed your mind. It's because that's what my family is starting to call me now. Because my neice Ariana.........
has finally learned that my name is not "Mommy" and that it is "Amanda". But she can't say Amanda. So she calls me "Meenda". And she calls me "Meenda" all...the...time.
Seriously! ALL THE TIME. I watch her every weekend now. From Friday night until Monday night. She spends Friday & Saturday night at my house, plus all day Sunday. Her mom comes and gets her Sunday night, brings her back out Monday morning, and then picks her back up again in the evening. And the whole time, the girl follows me around saying,
"Meeeeeeeenddaaaaa! Meeeeeeenddaaaaaa! Here Meeeeeendda!"
Or I'll be sitting in my chair reading, and there she is hanging on the side of the chair....
"Meeeeeeenddaaaaaa! Meeeenddaaaaaa!"
I love her. I really do. But after 24 hours of that, damn near non stop, it's enough to make me want to bang my head against the wall. And of course the family thinks it's funny (And it is. When I tell them about it, I laugh with them). So they are starting to call me Meenda.
Things are going pretty good with her. She's our part time kid. On the weekends Lilly get's to see what it's like to be an older sibling. For a long time she was letting Ariana push her around. Ariana would hit, yell, and scream at her. Take her toys away, etc. And Lilly would only just turn away and cry. Afraid to defend herself against a 2 year old.
So we had to explain to her that she has to start standing up for herself. Tell Ariana no, take her toy back when Ariana takes it from her. You know? Stand up for herself. Well now she found that confidence but we have to try and make her see that there is a time and place for it. I'm begining to see that my child is becoming bossy. Always telling Ariana what to do, even when she's actually just playing quietly by herself, perfectly content. I can see where Ariana would get pissed off at her and want to scream at her sometimes. Then I hear her talking to Ariana in the play room...
"Don't tell me no!" -- She gets that from David and I because we are constantly saying that to Ariana. She has a nasty habit of saying no when you tell her to do something.
"Don't look at me like that!" -- I had to laugh when I heard that one. I had this mental image of the faces Ariana must be making. Because she does make a lot of faces. She's fun to just sit back and observe because even when she's just sitting there, she's making faces. As if she's trying flex her facial muscles to see what they can do.
Okay so what else? I've been doing a lot of cooking here and there. First, my SIL had a fun party, and I was asked to make a cake. Well, what fun party would be complete without a big penis? So I made a penis cake.....  I'm pretty damn proud of that cake (even though that isn't the best picture of it). I think it's one of my better ones. Also, I've finally aquired a taste for spicy food, and can almost hold my own against my husband and his sisters when it comes to Korean food. And lately I've been learning to make all the recipies that he and his sisters remember their mother making when they were little. I've learned to make buldak (spicy chicken), gamja jorim (spicy potatoes), and bulgogi (thin sliced beef in a korean BBQ type sauce). Also I've learned to make pot stickers! I still have to learn to make galbi jim (korean short ribs), cucumber kimchi, and kimchi stew.
Also David and I were watching "Bizarre Foods" on Discovery. The guy was in South Korea (where David's mother is from) and it had our mouths watering. He was showing all the street food, and though I'd probably stay away from the blood sausage, the rest of it looked pretty good. Especially the Dduk Boki (it's rice dough balls in a spicy sauce). So I found the recipie for that and I'd like to try and make that soon.
For christmas we're having a Korean dinner instead of the traditional Christmas dinner. And it seems I'm in charge of quite a few things for it. The chicken, potatoes, and potstickers. It's a lot to make, but I don't mind. I love seeing them eat it and the happy look on their faces.
Maybe I'll teach my SIL's how to make it. No, their husbands don't eat it. Nobody wants to have to make 2 seperate meals, etc. But that's okay. Why not make it for yourself if that's what you have a hankering for? Right?
So I guess that's all for now. It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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November 4, 2009 - Wednesday
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Current mood:  quiet
Category: Life
Okay so here I am again....
I know, I've been gone a long time. I bet you all thought I was dead. Sometimes it feels like I was. Atleast in my mind anyway. It just seems like everything went blank. As if there was absolutely no thought up there. Seems like there was nothing to say. Nothing really going on. And there really isn't anything going on now, but I feel the urge to speak. So anyway. To catch up on things.....
I started smoking again. I know! I know! I feel just as bad about it! But I got weak. I'm not going to make any excuses, because it's me that has the control over that and not the children (the reason I believe I broke down is due to them...And that's all I'll say about that!) There will come a time when I'll decide to quit again. At least I don't smoke near as much as I used to. But all the same, I caved.
Lilly started kindergarten this year (the pic of her first day of school is there at the top. Have yet to figure out the new blog picture deal). I am proud to say that I did NOT cry on her first day, like everyone said I would. (I don't know why people tell me I'm going to cry about such and such. I'm not a cryer!) She's doing pretty good! She goes all day. The first half of the day is regular kindergarten and the second half is supplemental. Because the school says she needed a little extra help. It amazes me how much she's learned in just one quarter.
Last week she was out sick the whole week with the flu. Oh we had a scary night! Tuesday of last week we took her to the doc because since Monday morning, her temp hadn't come down below 99. And it was just like we thought, the doc said there wasn't much we could do, she has a flu like illness, give her plenty of fluids, lots of rest, tylenol, etc. Taking her to the doc was more of a formality. It was more for getting a doctors note for the school. (It always seems like more of a formality. I know what's wrong, I basically know how to handle it, but sometimes I need the doc to giver her things like a perscription for medicine, doctors note, etc.) So we take her home, she goes to sleep, and David goes in to check on her. He comes out to the living room carrying her because she was shivering even though her skin literally felt like it was on fire. She had goose bumps and her skin felt weird.
So we took her temp and it read 103. I got a cool wash cloth and tried to wipe her down. She starts shaking, crying, "Cold! Cold!" The girl's body temperature actually heated the wash cloth. So I told David to get a luke warm bath going and I started stripping her. I felt bad because she was sleeping, but I figured "Fuck it. She has all day tomorrow sleep. She needs to get cooled down now." Into the bath she goes and she starts shaking, full body shaking, crying about how cold the water was. The water was no where near cold. She was just that fucking hot! David was crying he felt so bad and so scared for her. She laughed at him about though, in between her tears.
So then we take her out, get her bundled up, get tylenol & motrin in her and eventually her fever comes down. But I tell ya'! We were tetering on the edge of rushing her to the ER. But decided against it because when we sat there and thought about it, we figured the hosptital would probably just confirm what we already knew (that she has the flu) and send us back home. It wasn't like she would be admitted or anything. Even though 103 is nothing to sneeze at, we didn't think it was anything the hospital would be too concerned about. Especially since she's a child who is perfectly healthy otherwise. Better to just wait and see if it drops even just a little bit (because if the fever at least fluctuates, that's a good sign) rather than take her out into the cold with a wet head.
We have honestly never seen her that sick before. NEVER! We've always been pretty lucky with her about that stuff. Yeah she's had the occasional cold here and there. But nothing like that. She's never scared us like that. I've never thought I might have to rush her to the ER (except for that time when her face exploded from the mosquito bite. And I only took her to urgent care for that one) So I slept with my clothes on that night. Just in case.
But she ended up missing a whole week of school because she has to be fever free for 24 hours without the aid of a fever reducer. And just when we thought she would be in the clear, another one would pop up and there would be another day out of school. And it sucks because last week she was supposed to be the "Souper Kid" (Her teachers name is Mrs. Campbell. Get it? Campbell..."Soup"er kid?) Her teacher assigns a different student every week to be the souper kid. They get to be the line leader, take papers to the office, help pass out papers, sit next to the teacher at story time, etc. You know, stuff like that that kids LOVE to do when they start school. She totally missed on her week! I felt so bad for her!
Okay so that's it for right now. I don't want to fill you in on to much. I should probably save some stuff for tomorrow. It's been real...It's been fun...But for now....I'm done!
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April 1, 2009 - Wednesday
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Current mood:  sleepy
Category: Life
Dear Chuck E. Cheese --
I recently visited your establishment and might I give you a few suggestions.....
1. Please revise your rules on personal injury, violence towards minors, etc. I think it would vastly improve the experience for the adults if we were allowed to clothes line the 12 year old fuckers who run all over the place playing tag, and pay no attention to the toddlers wandering about the place. Twice I saw three young men running around the place damn near smash a little one. And the little one was with an adult. If we were simply able to maybe clothes line them as they pass by our table, I'm sure we'd be more than happy to spend more time in your establishment. Maybe even if we could hit them with the pizza pan? Would that be to much to ask?
2. When at the salad bar, could we please be able to use the salad tongs as a weapon when someone takes to long putting lettuce on their plate? It seems there was a patron who was extremely picky about what piece of lettuce she would like in her salad. I really didn't see anything wrong with the lettuce. Honestly. Despite the filthiness of your bathrooms (I'll get to that in a minute), your lettuce seemed to be taken care of. Yes, I could line jump and go ahead of her. But you see, I have a hard time imagining putting all the toppings on the plate before the lettuce. The salad essencially starts with the lettuce! So really she was holding up the line. Couldn't the rules be bent a little so I could have beat her senseless with the very tongs she with held from me? Is that to much to ask?
3. You're bathrooms leave something to be desired. Seriously. You can't tell me that with as much revenue as Chuck E. Cheese brings in every year, that you couldn't afford to update your bathrooms . I know how much money is spent in your establishment. I've been a party to it! I've contributed my fair share to lining that huge fucking rat's pockets. There is no reason that I should have to relieve myself in a place as filthy as that. I should not be afraid to sit on the toilet seat even with the aid of an ass gasket. You can't tell me you can't afford to replace the walls that look as if they are bowing away from the studs behind them. That you can't afford updated bathroom drywall that isn't texturized and can be easily cleaned. Do you know what kind of germs are in a bathroom? Do you know how germs like to crawl into every crack and crevice? Fucker please! It's time to remodel the bathrooms!
Or maybe you can get the big rat out there to stand over an employee and make sure they clean the bathroom properly. Like get all that grime around the sink. Or even where the counter top meets the wall? There was some nasty stuff there. I'll even donate the tooth brush to clean that shit. And the scrubbing bubbles! What's the point of even washing my hands in a sink like that? Am I even getting them clean!? And could you please not have the clean paper towels hanging directly above the over flowing trash can of dirty paper towels? That just doesn't seem right.
In all fairness, I did make the decision to patronize your establishment in the week I chose to stop smoking. But on the other hand, I really think these three complaints are valid. Any young man who runs over a toddler DESERVES to be clothes lined. They DESERVE to be hit with a pizza pan. They DESERVE bodily injury! And any person who stands at a salad bar, literally picking out...one...lettuce...leaf...at...a...time deserves to be beaten senseless with the salad tongs. That's just pure madness! I can only hope that she had at some point in the past eaten a bad piece of lettuce from a salad bar and became violently ill. I really hope that's what happened. Because that would explain the odd behaviour. But even then, why not just leave the fucking salad bar alone after that experience!? Come on! What do you say? Why not let us beat her senseless with the tongs? Let me beat her hard enough that Chuck E. Cheese tickets come out of her ass like a ski-ball machine and I get to pick a fucking prize. JESUS what was wrong with that lady!? She was even more annoying than the fucking hooligans! And the bathrooms? Well you don't have to be going through nicotine withdraw to see the sense in that complaint. But could we be able to beat the hell out of someone for that?
Sincerely,
~Sweet Mistress~
So that was my night at Chuck E. Cheese. It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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March 31, 2009 - Tuesday
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Current mood:  relaxed
Category: Life
Yep! I went a full 24 hours with out a cigarette. And as of 4:30pm this evening, we will have gone 48 hours. We'll almost be out of the woods. Everything we have read says to give it three days. Yesterday was interesting though. It got better as the day wore on and I had to drive around more. It got to where I was satisfied jamming with a sucker. And the only time that craving hit was when I actually got into the car. Like when I came out of her parent/teacher conference. Normally the first thing I would do when I get in the car is light up. As soon as I felt that urge, (I had even cracked the window like I normally would) I popped in a sucker and waited for it to go away.
So then after dinner my sister Amy, Lilly, and I go out for a walk. Now over the weekend we didn't get out to walk because the weather was aweful. And yesterday it seemed like Grunt had forgotten EVERYTHING he learned the week before. He was pulling like crazy.......Well, I can't say he lost everything. When we came upon a group of kids, he was on his best behaviour. And when we walked by other dogs that were yapping their head off (my dog seems to be the biggest in the neighborhood from the looks of it), all he needed was a little correction and he ignored them.
But he was pulling like a son of a bitch. And normally I do a pretty good job of keeping him beside me and not letting him get ahead. So that way I can give him correction. But yesterday it was like I just couldn't do it! He was literally dragging me from one thing to the next so he could sniff and pee on it. Then he started wearing me down and I actually started to really hurt. So I had to hand him over to Amy, who doesn't try to control him and just let's him drag her. She says he's fine. But it doesn't look fine. We tried just stopping to make him sit and relax (and me to...I have to remember to relax because he feeds off me). And it works for a little bit but then I let him get out of control again. And it felt like when I did correct him, I just couldn't match him at his level of energy. So it was uneffective.
*sigh*
So then you see me really starting to break down. We were 3/4 of the way home. Maybe even more than that. And I was really hurting. My knees and back were killing me, I was upset with my dog, and then for some reason it seemed like there was all these fucking cars. It seemed like we were constantly having to get over for a car. It REALLY pissed me off! So then you see me standing in the middle of the road, sucker in mouth, damn near screaming, "Where in the FUCK are all these god damned cars coming from! Damn it! I'm tired of getting over for all the fucking cars! Why can't they all go the other way damn it!?". This is where my ranting and raving gets funny though because......
THERE ARE FUCKING SIDEWALKS IN MY TRAILER PARK!
You would think I had enough sense to get up on the side walk right? But I hate fucking sidewalks! It kills my knees actually. And often times they are uneven and I end up tripping. So I'd rather be on the street. And another reason it's funny is because it was absolutely normal for that amount of cars coming. It was rush hour! Everyone was coming home from work! There SHOULD be that many cars on the road! DUH! And don't think Amy didn't point this out to me. And then I look over to see the park manager pulled over to the side of the road ....On a fucking curve! And he's out of the car talking to the guy who lives in the trailer along that curve.
This is where you hear me say, "Oh nice Mike! You fat fuck! Park on the god damned curve where no one knows what the fuck is coming around the bend you fucker!" Thankfully we weren't close enough for him to hear us. I hope anyway. It bothers me because #1: I normally would NEVER attack someone about their weight. I'll make fun of other things, but never their weight. Because I know what it's like to have some one do that to you. So even if I hate you, I won't do that. Oh I'll bust you on something else! Your hairy back, your big nose, that mole right there on your chin...Piss me off and I'll make a comment about anything else that grabs my attention. But I'll never come down on your weight. Even if your a man and you got man tits. But it also bothers me because #2: Mike really isn't that fat! He's got a little middle aged pudge. But he's not fat. And I kind of like Mike. He may not seem like the friendliest guy in the world. But he seems all right. So all this venom spouting off was a bit surprising. Especially when I hear "You fat fuck!" come out of my mouth.
My sister seemed to be quite embarrassed. She said, "Are you sure you don't want one? Maybe this isn't the best day to do this?" Yes! I want to do this! Walking needs to be a part of my everyday life. I have to learn to do it without the nicotine. I like smoking when I'm driving, but you don't see me NOT driving until I'm over the cravings right!? Because life goes on. Anywho, we push on. As soon as we get close to my yard, I drop the leash, and point towards the house. "Home" I say to Grunt. And the big fucker earns his dog treat for the night by actually going up to the door and waiting for me.
I get in and pretty much do nothing for the night. I make a mess by making popcorn. Something to munch on. I made a big bowl of it. David is hard to tell if he's doing alright or not. One minute he seems normal, and then the next he's saying something about it feeling like his brain is pulsating, but it feels good. As if it's massaging his scalp from the inside. Then he says he's going to go lay down in the bedroom to "collect his thoughts" which actually means he's going somewhere where it is dark and he can deal with his craving.
I have a theory about this. See, I'll admit I got snippy with him. Like when I asked him about the mail (I need a utility bill for proof of residency). I asked him, "Why am I not allowed to see the fucking mail? Why don't you ever bring in the fucking mail?" He said that he's having cravings to, blah, blah, blah and you don't see him cussing at people blah, blah, blah.........What the fuck ever...shut up. Anywho! I actually think that me letting it out a little is helpful instead of being Mr. Tough Guy and stuffing it. Because I think when you stuff it, you end up feeling dizzy more (he feels dizzy), like you want to throw up (he could be feeling that from all the sunflower seeds), or like your brain is pulsating! Oh sure it feels good, but that doesn't mean it is good. So because I'm letting it out, I'm not feeling all that stuff.
Me? I just feel lazy (and apparently intense anger). Almost depressed like. It's almost as if nothing is fun right now. It occured to me last night how boring it feels without a cigarette in your hand. It's like even if I am sitting there doing nothing, if I had a cigarette in my hand, I'm doing something......I'm smoking. See the logic!? Here's where the logic ends. You'd think it would make me realize I need to get up and do something right? WRONG! I laid there reading a book and stuffing my face with half a bowl of popcorn (un-buttered but heavily seasoned). But at least I didn't smoke!
Today was alright. I made the half hour drive out to the doctor to get Lilly's shot records, and made the drive back without to much of a problem. I had a sucker in my mouth the entire time, but it's beginning to feel natural (making mental note to be sure to brush sugar off my teeth every chance I get). And nothing annoyed me. Except Lilly. Who continues to want to bring things along that she needs me to help her with from the front seat (ie: "Open this bottle of water for me!" or "Open this ziploc baggie of snacks for me!") so I'm constantly reaching back for something. And then even though she loves a song on the radio and wants me to turn it up, she also wants to talk and ask me questions, like "what is this song about mom?". So then I have to turn down the radio and ask her what she said, etc., etc. And then she never really gets to hear the song because the volume is going up and down. But that annoyed me even before I quit.
Whew! That got a little long there. Sorry. But it helps to type and keep my fingers busy. Okay let me wrap this up. So we're going to Chuck E. Cheese tonight. We put Lilly on a point system for behaviour and she's been doing very well. Chuck E. Cheese is her surprise. I know! Why the fuck would we want to go to that place of all places!? Especially when we're trying to quit smoking! But I don't think it will be that bad. Because it's a non smoking building. We do better in places like those. And they've got lots of stuff to keep us busy with all the games. It'll be better than sitting at home fighting with every craving. So that's it!
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March 30, 2009 - Monday
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Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life
Yup! You heard me right, I am trying to quit smoking. You want to know why? Even though there are a million different very good reasons why I should, but here's mine. Or should I say "ours" since it's David and I who are quitting...........
The mother fucking government is increasing the taxes on it again!
Meaning that by April 1st, they're going to go up another 70 cents a pack. 70 FUCKING CENTS! And they just went up about 70 cents a little over two months ago! So we decided that we're just going to have to quit. I would have to go back to work 2-3 days a week just to support our habit. And that would be flat out jackassery. So we're quitting. We figured it up and between the two of us quitting, we'd be saving around $260 a month and close to $3,000 a year.
Saturday we decided that by Sunday we will have smoked all of our cigarettes and then after our last one, that will be our start time of quitting. Having decided that, we headed out to Wal-Mart and bought a shit load of suckers, an assortment of sugar free life savers, gum, oranges, pears, and apples. We heard some where that vitamin C helps with cravings. But I figured it's a good healthy snack for when you want to eat. That way you keep your hands busy peeling the orange. And as far as the apples go, I figure what I'll do is keep my hands busy peeling and chopping the apple when I feel like I want something to eat and I'm tired of oranges. That's what I'm afraid of...wanting to eat all the time to replace the cigarrettes. So those are my interventions. That and Nature Valley granola bars (just read the ingredients though and I see I'm going to have to limit myself on those).
Oh! And walking! I've been walking for the past week. Every night after dinner (which is awesome because it shows I am feeling that much better. I never would have thought about getting out and walking a month ago.) And I've been training my dog to walk on a leash while I'm at it (he's getting better!) I know exercise will help. So if it's possible, I'm going to try and get out to walk with the dog if the cravings get to bad. So how have we been doing?
Hmmmmm.....Okay. It could definitely be a lot worse. Yesterday around 4:30pm was our last cigarette. After that we scrubbed our mouths clean and threw away all ashtrays. Then we set out all our candy and waited for the first craving........Which took about 5 minutes. And I noticed that even before our last cigarettee we were getting a little nervous. It was actually just the thought of quitting that made us want to smoke more. I've seen this happen before. It happened to my friend at work. She picked a date to quit smoking and two or three days before the actual date, she smoked like crazy. The thought of having to quit stressed her out so much she smoked even more. Then she ended up having a full pack of cigarettes on the day she was supposed to quit and never did quit. She had to finish the pack she had....and another, and another.
Around the house I do alright. The worst part for me inside the house is when I'm at the computer. I used to actually put my cigarettes on the other side of the room because if they're right next to me I'd burn through them in no time. So I catch myself constantly looking around for a my pack of cigarettes or an ashtray. But they're not there anymore. Right now I have a sucker in my mouth. I'm about to throw away those sugar free life savers. That shit tastes aweful. I'd rather just stick with everything else rather than put those rings of nasty inside my mouth. But you want to know what the worst is!?........
FUCKING DRIVING!
Oh my sweet dear JESUS that is aweful! I always smoke while I drive. And this morning is the first time I drove without smoking. Oh the horror! Oh the fucking horror! You know I was doing good all morning. I woke up without any cravings. Which isn't so unusual because I usually don't light up as soon as I wake up. I like to get in the shower, drink something, brush my teeth, AND THEN sully my clean mouth with the fine taste of cigarettes. So I was doing okay until it was time to take Lilly to school. The moment I put the gear in drive and got out on the road, it was hell! I popped a sucker in my mouth thinking that would help, but not really. You all know how I like to jam to my music in the car!? For some reason I felt ridiculous doing that with a sucker! And then the song "No You Girls" by Franz Ferdinand came on and the lyrics go, "Ah, kiss me
Flick your cigarette and then kiss me". That set me off.
And it seemed like EVERYTHING was aweful. The sun was to damn bright and every time I turned the car it went directly into my eyes. I could have been driving with it behind me and it STILL would find a way to annoy me! Our car radio is on the frizt, so our satellite radio is on the fritz. It's not that bad, but in between songs you can hear the static. THAT drove me up the wall. It seemed like every one was going VERY SLOW. Then to make matters worse, I couldn't go right straight home. I had to go to the gas station to return a movie (they have one of those kiosks outside the door.) So I had to drive another 15 minutes more and go back towards Enon to the gas station where THEY SELL FUCKING CIGARETTES! I contemplated going inside and getting a Tornado (I fucking love those things. So does David. We want to get a hot dog machine and find out where they sell frozen Tornados. Then we can have them all the fucking time. Because there will constantly be Tornados on the hot dog machine. When people come over we'll say, "Come inside, would like you like a delicious Tornado!?") But thought better of it and got back in the car. Then I looked across the street and saw "Kim's Doughnuts" and thought about how lovely a doughnut sounded.
So I got the fuck outta there and went to my mom's where she gave me a bowl of chips and a sausage patty (I fucking love my mom!). Which was alright I guess, since I hadn't ate anything yet. But you should see the text messages I rapid fired off to David while in the midst of my nicotine fit...while driving.....
- " I fucking HATE driving with no smoke! HATE IT!"
- "And the sun is like even more fucking annoying. When are you going to fix the god damned radio?"
- "I need a bag of suckers just for in the fucking car!"
- "Yes I turned on the radio! You can hear static! Very annoying! Do you know how hard it is to jam with a sucker in your hand?! It doesn't fucking work!" (He actually asked me if I even turned on the radio. WTF!?)
- "I want a fucking doughnut."
- "No. I'm going to go home and eat a granola bar and an orange!" (That SOB told me to get a doughnut! Where's the fucking support!?....So I went to my mom's and had some chips and a sausage patty)
- "I can't wait to get out of this god damned car."
David seems to be handling it okay. Ever the stoic, he has not had one outburst. (But I'm waiting) His intervention has been sunflower seeds (with the shell). And last night he ate them in the kitchen. Because he tends to always smoke in the living room. So he stayed out of the living room. It was kind of funny to be sitting here at the computer and looking over to see just his head over the counter, munching on sunflower seeds. I actually thought this would be harder for him because he's the type who wakes up in the middle of the night just to smoke. Then as soon as he wakes up he smokes, smokes another while he's getting ready to get in the shower, and I think another after he gets out of the shower. But he's actually a lot calmer about it that I am. I think it has more to do with the fact that he is READY to quit. But I'm not. I'm only doing it because the mother fucking government is raising the taxes and we can't afford to smoke with only one salary coming into the household
*sigh*
Now I have to go get back in the car to pick up Lilly from school. How am I going to handle Thursday when we have to travel to Cincinnati for a field trip!? I have to actually drive there! I'm gonna need a god damned patch or something. And wish me luck. I have my first parent teacher conference tonight. Woohoo! What a fine time to quit smoking!
It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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March 13, 2009 - Friday
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Category: Life
*sigh*
So I'm into my third week of being a SAHM and I think I'm finally settling into the routine. Work on the house has come to a bit of a stand still because we have to get all the junk we removed from the first half of the house and moved onto the porch removed before we can really begin work on the second half of the house. I've been contemplating checking into this place I saw on a commercial who's number is 1-800-GOT-JUNK. My Dad has been saying, "Well if we can just get the red truck running, then we could haul it off!" Yes, we could. But at the rate it's been going with that heap of metal, I'll never get the shit on my porch hauled off. Do you guys remember the truck I told you about last year that my hubby was driving? The one that first was vandalized by someone while David was at work and they smashed out a back window with a tail pipe? Then the next week some one scraped their car down the one side of it while David was at the grocery store? Yeah. That truck! One day my dad decided he was going to tune it up or something like that. And it has never ran since. Personally, I think it would take a MAJOR over haul to get that truck back to working again. There are so many things wrong with that truck. I think it's time to just let that hunk of metal go.
But no, that's not going to happen. Because if I thought I was a pack rat? I have to remind myself that I haven't got ANYTHING on my dad. My dad has three sheds full of junk (well, it's not junk to him anyway), a spare bedroom full of junk, and this is what irks me the most....He has a box van that is filled with stuff from the gift shop he had when we had the carry out. It's filled with ballons, stuffed animals, and God knows what else. This is shit from ten years ago. A lifetime ago as far as I'm concerned. Why he's holding onto it I have no idea. Because when he dies? I think my mom plans on selling the van and its contents for a few hundred bucks and be done with it. Same thing with the shed and all his tools he never uses. All of that goes when he dies....Except for maybe the refridgerator he turned into a keg holder with the tap on the front of the door. I'm gonna tell her she either keeps that or turn it over to me.
So in the meantime I have been keeping busy with other projects like wiping down walls when I don't have Ariana and doing small things when I do have her. Other than that it's just been keeping things clean that I already have cleaned. The usual house keeping shit. But you know what? I'm pretty good as a house wife. I'm proud of myself! I've managed to institute a bed time even! Every night between 8 or 9, Lilly automatically knows to get her PJ's on and we settle in for the night. My house has been kept the cleanest it has ever been for the longest period of time I can remember. I have dinner ready for David just about every day before he goes to work (there's some days we just do left overs). I'm a hell of a lot more efficient. I plan a two week menu for the grocery shopping, lay out clothes for everyone for the next day, set up my coffee pot for in the morning so all I have to do is push the button. I set up stuff for making dinner in the morning (get out bowls, cutting boards, utensils, etc.) so all I have to do is throw stuff together and pop it in the oven.
Alot of this is stuff I did as an aide. I layed out clothes and put things exactly where I needed them so that way all I had to do was bring the resident into the bathroom and everything was right there where and when I needed it. I could have a resident washed and dressed in ten minutes just because I had everything set up and ready to go. I was a very efficient aide. You could never say I was disorganized at work. I was just disorganized at home (maybe I should have been paid at home? Maybe then I would have kept house better?) So now that I'm not working, I've applied it to home life. This may not seem like much to some people. But it feels good for me to be able to think clearly at home. To be awake and aware of what is going on around me feels GREAT! You know there was begining to be quite a few days where Lilly didn't have anyone to talk to all day long because I was totally zonked. I woke up every hour or so to feed her, love on her a little, or what ever else she needed. But after that I would fall right back asleep. And then if the baby was there I was awake but not very pleasant. Felt like I was always screaming (my first week of being SAHM I was still screaming a little because I was stressed and a little grumpy from trying to adjust. But this week it feels like all of that has lifted). I always felt so heavy like I was walking around with a lead blanket wrapped around me. And there was a tightness in my jaw that felt like I was always clamping it shut. I wasn't grinding my teeth but it always felt extremely tight in my jaw.
That's awful for Lilly to be with a person like that all day long. What kind of life is that for a kid who's mother is asleep all the time and when she isn't, she's a screaming wreck that can hardly keep track of anything? I feel really, really, reaaaallllly bad about that. That's no kind of life. That wasn't fair to her. And it wasn't fair to my husband either. He was living with a wife who was just to tired for anything. He says I don't look as tired, my skin isn't so pale, and I'm walking better. He told me I look softer, nicer, and more lovable. I wonder what my face looked like to him before? I wonder if there was always a sour look on my face? If maybe I had begun to look like some tired old hag who was never happy. Who was hunched over (seriously, I was walking bent over) with squinted eyes and a grimace.
But all of that feels like it's gone now. I feel lighter. And get this! Yesterday I didn't take one single dose of ibuprophen. For as long as I can remember I have been taking as much as three to four 800 milligram doses of ibuprophen a day. EV-ER-Y DAY! Just to dull the pain in my joints and to be reasonably comfortable. I was on medication along with the ibuprophen. But even though I felt better, it played hell with my digestive track (I was walking better. But the quality of my life was reduced to constantly walking to the bathroom). So I quit taking that and just stuck to the ibuprophen. But yesterday I didn't have to take one single dose because I didn't feel like I needed it. Yes, I took some today for a headache. That's about it though. I don't even feel any pain when I'm just sitting. It was getting to be like that. I actually hurt just sitting. And then to get up and walk was terrifying. I just knew I was going to hurt. And sometimes it felt so bad I wanted to scream.
There's no more pain in my back or at the base of my neck. I don't feel any tightness in my jaw, no pain in my shoulders, elbows, and fingers. I'm walking a little taller now. I'm walking with my back straight and tits out again! I feel looser. There's not that constant feeling in my joints of a tortion spring that's rusty and will barely move. The most pain I feel right now is my hips when I wake up in the morning after sleeping on our ancient mattress. And after a hot shower and moving around a bit, that pretty much goes away.
I FEEL PRETTY DAMN GOOD NOW!
So....I guess that's all I have to say for today. Sorry I went on for so long! Just felt like I needed to let this out some. Thanks for listening! It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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March 10, 2009 - Tuesday
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Current mood:  blah
Category: Life
So I decided to take a break from cleaning today. I really shouldn't because I'm the type that once I take a break from doing something, my attention wanders off and then I never get back to it. But I think I've earned a day off. I haven't had a day off since I went on call. I have worked on something around the house from the start of it and by God I AM TAKING A FUCKING BREAK!.......................
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Well....Maybe I'll clean something later on tonight. But I'm going to sit here and enjoy the myspace time while Lilly plays with her V-Smile.
You wanna know what's really getting on my nerves? The wind! It's the ever present fucking wind. Ever since we had that wind storm back in September or November, just about 2-3 days a week we have had wind. And what pisses me off is when the news casters call it "breezy". BREEZY MY ASS! It would be a perfect spring day outside to have a picnic if it weren't for the wind. But NNNOOOOOOOO! The wind just HAS to blow. IT HAS TO! And you know, I wouldn't mind it so much if it were summer and insanley humid. But I can just bet you that by the time summer finally sets in, the wind will all of the sudden just stop. And you want to know WHY!? Because by then the air will be so damn heavy with humidty that that wind WON'T be able to blow. THAT'S WHY!
I need a nap.
As you can see, I really don't have much on my mind. It's a totally blank wall here.
And since I am a blank wall, I am going to go and have a picnic inside the house with Lilly. Yep! I am actually going to pack a basket, and then have a picnic on the living room floor. I'm even going to throw down a blanket. *shakes fist at the wind outside the window* FUCK YOU WIND! You can't get me down! *blows raspberries*
It's been real...It's been fun...But for now..I'm done!*********UPDATE***********
We had a picnic in the house. Lilly asked if we could have a picnic. I told her it was to windy outside and she said got all bright eyed and said, "But we can have one inside!". Then she dragged out our "pool side" basket (our basket we used all of last summer to sit out by her blow up pool, have picnics, get tans, and swim....We need a new one. This one in particular has seen better days!), emptied it of all the lotions it is now holding and said, "And...and...and...and we can pack our basket with foods!" So while I set about making sandwiches (and even going as far as putting them in baggies, Bologna and cheese for me, Strawberry jam and butter for her. We're out of peanut butter but that's okay. She's not that hip on peanut butter anyway), packing carrot and celery sticks, ranch dressing, corn on the cob (left overs), cheese, and yogurt, she went about laying blankets on the floor. She went through all the blankets until she found just the right one.
Then she saw our tanning oil that was in the basket. "Hey!" she says with utter delight, "We can put our tans on!" Then she stripped down naked. Which I was actually surprised that she wasn't naked already because clothes coming off the minute she walks in the house is such a common accurance for her. Can't seem to break that habit! Anyway, she asks, "Are you gonna be naked toooo!?" No sweetheart. That's okay. I'll keep my clothes on. The dog might need to go out.
So we laid out on the floor and I let her put tanning oil on my back, shoulders and arms. Then I greased her up. Then we ate our picnic in front of the TV and she told me that when the weather gets hot, we'll get the pool out, and can have picnics outside. It makes me realize that her best memories of last summer must have been the time spent outside having picnics, swimming, and listening to music. Kind of makes me thirsty for iced tea!
Then she saw a Chuck E. Cheese commercial and started yelling at me about wanting to go to Chuck E. Cheese. Even went so far as poking me in the forehead to drive her point home. It went like this.....
"I *poke* want *poke* to go *poke* to Chuck *poke* E. *poke* Cheese! *BIG POKE*"
I asked her why she didn't go last time there was a chance to go. Just to see if she remembered the lesson she learned that day. And she said,"Because I didn't listen!" (minus the poking)
"You'll remember that the next time there's a chance to go and listen to Daddy and me then, won't you?" And she said she would. We'll see!
*sigh*
It was a good time! It was worth it to take the day off from cleaning (except I did clean up the mess we made and a few other things from the rest of the day) and spend some quality time with her. Or more like David put it in a text message (did I tell you how much I text message now? I used to be totally against it. But once I started doing it, I became hooked. David and I both. We text each other often while he's at work), "Mom and daughter time". I didn't really think of it like that but he was right.
I guess this is one of the perks of being a SAHM. Cool stuff like that. We may not be able to do it everyday. But I think I'd like to make sure we do it every so often. So that was how it all went. Not that it's anything special, but it was to her. And to me too!
It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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March 6, 2009 - Friday
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Current mood: sleepy
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Okay so I have managed to accomplish quite a bit today. So now it's time for my treat of myspace, a little ice cream, and a whiskey and coke. Also a little spa time because I took a LOOOOONNNNG hot shower and I am writing this blog wearing latex free gloves with TONS of cocoa butter lotion underneath them. As fabulous as foam spray is, it is HELL on your hands. They've become all dry and scaley from excessive use of the magical cleaner.
Okay so what to talk about!? How about a TV show that my little family has become addicted to watching? Have any of you ever seen "The Dog Whisperer"? I fucking LOVE that show! What's not to love!? Let me tell you why I love this show. First of all, let's talk about Cesar Millan................
Oh my dear fucking LORD! You all know how I love my latin men. And I love a manly man. A dominate man. A man that can take control. This guy walks into a compound filled with the worlds most "vicious" dogs (you know? Rottweilers, PIT BULLS, etc.) and he is in total command of every one of them. He does this thing where he walks into a room and there's adog barking to beat the band or doing some bad thing. He points at them, says, "Hey! Shhh!" and they sit the fuck down and shut up. Or he touches them with two fingers on the neck. Now I'll admit he's had some tough cases where he's had to take them to his dog psycology center. The dog took a little more work. But that's cool. Because he realizes he can't do it alone. He needs his pack of dogs to teach the "unbalanced" dog how to behave. He realizes that man can't do it alone. Sometimes you need nature to teach. That's an awesome thought! So just for that reason alone. Cesar is right at the top of the "people I wouldn't mind fucking" list. He may be on the short side, but the man still walks tall! Second reason why I love this show? I used to think I had a bad dog. I really did. I have always had a love/hate relationship with my dog "Grunt"....... 
I used to love this dog one minute and then hate hime the next. But then I watched "The Dog Whisperer" and realized that I DO NOT have a bad dog. Atleast he's not compared to all the dogs who have been on that show. Yeah he may have his little things that need to be fixed, but he definitely isn't what Cesar calls a "Red Zone" case. I know he's not socialized. But that's our fault. We never have anyone over! In every sense of the word, Grunt is a guard dog. I remember one day that my sister was over with Ariana and my neice and her boyfriend came over. Grunt had never seen them before. You want to know where that dog sat? He sat right by my sister who was holding Lilly and Ariana. He sat right in front of them and did not move. Yes that's a little anti-social. But I'd rather he know who he needs to protect. He loves those kids. He's great with them. I have seen him let Ariana sit on him and bounce up and down. I watch how he approaches Lilly and he always comes to her with his head low and ears back. A sign of submission. He knows his place. It feels good to know I have a dog I can trust around my kid. I love my dog completely now. There is no more love/hate with him. Because I know it's me and not him that's the problem. Reason number three? Controlling your dog also translates into everyday life. If you have the ability to control your dog, to be a "pack leader", and walk with a positive energy, that is not a hard concept to apply to the rest of your life. It means exuding confidence. The show made me realize that I can be that way. I have that in me. David and I tried it out on Grunt one night (the whole "Hey! Shhh!" thing) and we saw that it came pretty easily to us. So we know we have that in us to take control and lead our family (small as it is). Number 4? It made me realize I don't think it would be a good idea to get an English Bull dog. I had always thought I wanted one, but have since changed my mind after watching the show. The tend to be very bull headed and take a hell of a lot more effort to get them under control if they become unbalanced. I seriously don't think I have the patience to deal with a dog like that. When Grunt passes away, I think I'd like to get another Lab. I know I definitely don't want a little dog. Nothing against the little dogs, but I like the sound I hear when I pat my dog's side and hear that deep thump. I like the fact that Grunt makes a wonderful foot rest (the dog always lays at my feet). I just dom't feel like I can get that with a little dog. Number 5......Was there a number 5? This whiskey and coke is starting to hit me. I believe it was seeing some pretty funny shit on there. Like this dog that ate everything it could get it's little mouth on. It was a Lhaso Apso named Jodi and she ate EVERY DAMN THING. Her owner reported that she actualy saw the dog go out in the back yard, eat various objects, later on poop them out, and then turn around only to re-eat them out of her poop. You could say the dog had issues. So much so that Cesar had to take her to his center. Where he actually trained the dog to leave poop alone by actually collecting her feces and putting them infront of her. And everytime that Jodi went for the poop, he did his little "Shhh!" thing and then gave her something in place of the poop (for her it was a banana). It was awesome because he actually addressed the issue of a dog eating it's own poop. And they do that! Nasty as it is, our lovely pets actually do that sometimes. Just not to the extreme that this dog did. Turns out the reason is because she was missing potassium. Hence her love of bananas. It seemed to cure the problem! Who knew there was potassium in poop!? Okay so that's it. I gotta get off of her and get to bed. Gotta get up early and get Lilly off to school. It's been real...It's been fun....But for now...I'm done!
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March 4, 2009 - Wednesday
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Current mood:  adventurous
Category: Life
Hello!..................
*knocks on the door*
Anybody home!?..................
*sheepishly enters the blogging room*
Okay so I know I disappeared for a LOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG time. And I am SO VERY SORRY! I am alive and well. I don't know why but it just seems like I lost my voice there for a while. And then life got busy and I found I just didn't have time for anything. And it was the usual stuff of having to babysit, but then Lilly also started playing indoor soccer. So in between working, getting Lilly to school, getting Lilly to soccer practice and games, babysitting, add to that trying to spend time with the hubby and finding a way to fit sleep all into that (not to mention trying to keep up on house work and laundry. Which I was failing at miserably, I'll get to that here soon!).......Yeah well, it pretty much means I was completely drained. Though things have been good, I just didn't have the energy to try and get on the computer. I can't even remember the last time I checked my fucking e-mail. I just didn't have the energy to write. I haven't written much more than entries into a calender concerning Lilly's practices, games, school functions, when I need to babysit, when I started my period, and the dates of inservices at work. I haven't even written a new recipie or anything. It's a seemingly blank wall.......
Or it WAS untiiiiillllllll...........
I WENT ON CALL!
Yes people it has finally happened! I now officially have one foot inside the door of the 7th Circle of hell instead of both feet. David had to start training on second shift. So ince someone needs to be home at night for Lilly, I had to switch to on call status. Somebody had to do it and I sure as hell didn't mind being the somebody who had to do it. It's been about a week and a half since my first day of being a stay at home mom. The first two days, I relaxed. It was the weekend after all. But by Monday? I broke out the scrubbing bubbles and have been living in a constant cloud of foam spray ever since. I'm telling you! My house was a FUCKING WRECK! Now only about half of it is a wreck. This weekend we begin work on the other half of it. I never realized I had so much out right trash around here.
So, my first project as a house wife/SAHM is to clean out the blockage of our lives. We need new energy to move through and we need to clear the way for it. And that means letting go of all this shit we keep because we THINK we need it. How could we possibly think we need trash!? See what lack of sleep does to you!? It makes you make unrational decisions such as......
"I'm going to keep these useless torn up window blinds in my closet because who knows!? Maybe some one in my family could use them 20 years from now!"
You know? Irrational decisions just...like...THAT! I'll admit I have always been a bit of a pack rat. But this has just been fucking ridiculous. I would show you before and after pics, but quite frankly I am embarrassed. Everyday I take on atleast two to three projects and clean them. And things are looking pretty good. And sometimes, when I've spent a little to much time in the fog of foam cleaner? Things look REALLY pretty! Seriously. Sometimes I worry if I'll end up looking like a huffing addict.
Lilly thinks it's all just great. Her favorite thing has been the fact that when we rearranged our bedroom, you can see yourself in the vanity mirror when you lay on the bed. Her favorite thing to do is lay on the bed, throw her legs in the air over her head and watch herself slap her ass. I can assure you that is a sense of humor that she got from me. I'm not saying I SHOWED her how to do that. But trust me, that's not something I'd ever think of David doing. So she must've got that sense of fun from my gene pool.
As far as what she thinks about me being home at night and David being gone? She didn't really like it to well at first. The first week she kept saying "I miss my Daddy." (looking very sad and forlorn). Especially on the first Tuesday night that I was off and we were supposed to go to Chuck E. Cheese (school fund raising thing). All day long that day she had been a smart ass. Didn't listen to anything David and I said. And we (or more "I") kept warning her, "You won't being going to Chuck E. Cheese if you don't straighten up and fly right!". (When the fuck did I become my mother!? That's one of the phrases she used to use! The whole "straighten up and fly right" thing. See!? It starts with making the face she used on me, and now it's moved on the her phrases. HELP!) So eventually, I reached my breaking point. I had had it and I told her we weren't going. Oh the fit she threw! But I stuck to my guns. I had read an article in the paper earlier in the week about just this thing and had thought, "That's it. I'm gonna do that. I'm getting tired of this shit!"
And that's what I did. I stuck to my guns. Despite her pleas of being sorry, etc., I told her "Well you'll remember this the next time we might go to Chuck E. Cheese and listen to us." It really kind of sucked though because I was really wanting to go that night. My older sister was going to meet us there and she and I were going to have pizza and catch up on things while Lilly ran around in the giant hamster trail. But no, I had to be the responsible/mean parent and stick to my guns. *sigh*
You should have seen her when David left for work that afternoon. Oh the even BIGGER fit she threw! She looked out the window facing our parking space and out right SCREECHED for her daddy not to leave. You would have thought someone had stabbed her in the back with a dull spoon! It was kind of sad, funny, irritating, and amazing all at the same time. I just stared at her with a dropped jaw and then turned around and re entered my fog of foam spray. It quite honestly seemed like a better place to be at that moment. You know? Things seemed much prettier in there. But I held tight, let her calm down, and soon after every thing was alright.
I'll admit, the first week of being a SAHM was stressful. You would think that after working since I was 14, I would be grateful for the chance at not having to punch in everyday. And even more grateful to not have to go out into the cold night (this winter has been a bitch around here what with the wind and all. Especially at night!), whether David had already warmed up my car for me or not. But we all know that being a SAHM means you punch in even before you're fully awake. Fuck! You're punched in even before you open your eyes! It was a bit of an adjustment to now have not just Lilly, but Ariana also, up my ass 24/7. Atleast by going to work everyday I got to connect with a little of the outside world. But this week I'm adjusting. Or starting to anyway. Like for example, as I write this blog, I am letting Lilly literally paint my face with all my old make-up that I let her have to play with. I think I can handle multi-tasking! SWEEEEEEET! You should see my face. I'm sure it's pretty. One day she painted my whole face with some kind of reddish brown blush, put black eye shadow all over my eye brows and I fell asleep before she could finish the job. Later I woke up to go pee and saw myself in the mirror. Oh that was a sight to behold! I was reminded of the Oompa Loompas from the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" movie. Okay so that's all I have for right now. I have to go and wipe all this crap off, then get Lilly ready for soccer practice.
So how have YOU ALL been doing!? And thanks fpr all the messages. I felt really bad after reading them. I should have atleast tried to pop in and stay in some kind of contact. That was wrong of me and I'm sorry. But it was also very heart warming and I thank you all VERY much!
It's been real...It's been fun...But for now......I'm done!
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November 22, 2008 - Saturday
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Current mood: sleepy
Category: Life
So I bet you all would like to know where the hell I have been? Uuuuhhhhhh...I've been......No where! I've been no where. I don't know if I can actually say I've been busy. But for some reason I can never find the time to get on the computer. Go figure! So let's do a little catch up! First, Halloween pics, brought to you by a slide show..........
It was a pretty good time. Lilly had to get dressed up three times over a two day period. There was TONS of hairspray in her hair. Because I didn't want to end up over washing her hair every time I had to put it back up. So I just put more hairspray over it. I had to wash her hair twice to get it all out. And that water proof mascara really works. That shit had to wear itself off! And now for Wanana's first birthday pics. First is the pic of the cake I made her....... 
Wanana was born on October 31st. She's a true Halloween baby. It seemed fitting that she should have a Jack O' Lantern cake for her first birthday party. And this is what she looked like when we let her get a hold of her cake....... 
That girl had icing every where! She's been doing pretty good by the way. She truly is a little monkey. She's walking now and she is bow legged. And the way she walks around, holding her little arms up, she reminds me of a chimp. Not only that, but she's pretty good at handling things with her feet, and she has a tendency to play in her poo.... Yes, that's right. The girl needs to have pants on her at all times. Three times she has taken off her diaper and smeared her poo every where. Thankfully, that has only happened when she was with my sister. I'm just waiting for her to start throwing it! Haha! She's fun to watch though. You should see her drink from a sippy cup. She doesn't really drink her milk as much as she "swills" from her cup. It kind of reminds me of a drunkard drinking from a beer stein. And now a bit more of Lilly. This is her first school pic........... 
Pretty damn good if I do say so myself! They said they got her done in one shot. My girl is a natural for he camera! She should be on the cover of magazines! She's been doin' pretty good also. Right now she has decided that she wants to be a rock star (and tells every passing stranger that they are going to be in her band). She's taken to singing certain songs such as..... "That's not my name" by The Ting Tings "Don't trust me" by 3oh3! "My Way" by Limp Bizkit "Shake it" by Metro Station Yeah, she can't seem to remember her address, how to count (she's even making up her own numbers...."forty-teen". Yeah, she's a genious!) but she can remember song lyrics. *rolls eyes* We put up our christmas tree! Yeah, I know. It's early. But David mentioned doing it last weekend and it sounded like fun. Then, the day we were supposed to do it, he said he was to tired......Oh hell no! You don't go and get us all excited, and then decided not to. So I forced him to start helping me move furniture and drag the tree out. We had a pretty good time. In the middle of cleaning up the living room, Lilly decides that it's naked time! And takes of all her clothes. (To be honest, I'm actually surprised if she doesn't take off her clothes the minute we walk through the door. Seems like it's always "nekkid time" for that girl.) So then she's dancing around the tree, nekkid, singing, and chattering. Seriously. David and I were trying to figure out the lights, and all we hear behind us is the constant singing and chitter chatter of our nekkid child. "Lilly, I don't think sweet baby Jesus would appreciate the thought of you decorating the tree nekkid!" I tell her. "Uh ha!" she sings back to me. "Put some clothes on you little heathen!" "I am a heathen! Wooohoooo!" and she starts dancing. I'm ACTUALLY looking foreward to Chrismas this year. I have no idea why. I don't think it has anything to do with the rough time we were having last year. Because in the past, even when the financial situation was okay, I still didn't really dig Christmas. But I'm looking foreward to it this year. As a matter of fact, I'm halfway done with my shopping. I've got almost all the kids done (just 3 more to go and I'm getting gift certificates for them). Now I just have to get stuff for my mom, dad, sisters, and David. Oh if only my family would draw names like we did one year! But a couple of them didn't like the idea. I don't know why not though. If they draw my name, I'm easy to shop for. All I need is a whole bunch of tooth brushes and maybe a bottle of vanilla vodka. See how easy I am to shop for!? So what else? I've started an alfghan. Why? I don't know why. I'm notorious for not finishing them. But damn it! I AM going to finish this one! It's pretty....And HHHUUUUUGGGGGGEEEEE! I may have went over board on this one. But I will finish it. I WILL! It's pink, brown, and white striped. And I'm making rounds of pink, brown, and white and sewing them on the stripes. Then when I get it done, whenever the hell that will be since it's so damn huge, I'm going to put a backing on it. I thought that would be a neat idea. I've never seen an alfghan with a backing on it. It's something different anyway. Okay so I guess that's it for right now! Hopefully I'll be able to check back in later. Don't keep your fingers crossed though. I feel sleepy. Like a nap might be coming on. *yawn* It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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November 1, 2008 - Saturday
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Current mood: tired
Category: Travel and Places
So all of us Myspace Cadets have been sent another mission. This mission requires that we go on a.......
"Mission of Galactic Exploration...
Take a trip anywhere (real or make-believe)
What is this place called?
How/why, did you choose this place?
What and/or who did you take along?
What did you see/do while there?"
Sweeeeeeeeet! I got this! And away we go!..............
Waking from my deep space slumber, after having traveled many light years to get to the planet of Coffeetron, I stretch and yawn. Oh it is so good to be on vacation! I can't tell you how hard it was to get so much time off from the Seventh Circle of Hell. The bitching and whining (and a fair amount of groveling) was worth it though. Normally we're only allowed to take one week at a time. But once I explained how where and how far away I was going, they agreed I would need the extra time just for travel time alone. That and they figured I needed a few mental health days. They had never heard of Coffeetron and thought I had lost my mind. As a matter of fact, I heard them whispering as I danced out the door. Something about putting me on a permanent LOA and won't be allowed to return until it was ok'd by a psychiatrist. Have you ever been to Coffeetron?.....No? Oh Lord! Let me tell you about it!
At first sight, you'll notice that Coffeetron looks much like planet Earth. But as soon as you enter Coffeetron's atmosphere, you'll instantly feel the difference. Gravity and matter seem to be different. As soon as you enter the atmosphere, you shrink. Your fat cells vanish. Because of the rate of speed you are traveling, for some reason your metabolism increases and you burn up all you extra fat. Leaving you looking a good bit thinner. The build of your skins elasticity changes and it's like your skin shrink wraps to your new frame. Yes, it's a bit scary at first to feel your cells shifting, changing. But one look in the mirror and you'll forget all about it! So be sure to go shopping for smaller clothes when you take a trip to Coffeetron. Your normal clothes will be hanging off of you.
The weather is perfect. The sun that Coffeetron travels around puts off a different kind of heat. While it is always warm and heats the planet, it never burns. So you can lay out and get a tan without burning. Your kids can leave their crayons outside and they won't melt. And your sun brewed ice tea turns out perfect every time. Not only that! But for some reason, the rays of Coffeetron's sun never blinds you. You drive down the road at five in the afternoon and be able to see where you're going. No messing with sun visors and the only time you need sun glasses is if you're going for a certain look. Rain? There is an average of a rain storm every other day. They usually last for about half an hour to forty-five minutes. And it gets soaked and dried up pretty quickly. So planning outside parties won't be such a problem as long as you keep the food stuff under a tent.
Vegatation? Coffeetron has many of the same trees as Earth. But also, since much of the land has not been developed with skyscrapers, houses, etc, there is still many open plains where fruits and vegetables grow in abundance. Groves of avacado, lime, lemon, and orange trees. Apple, peach and pear trees. Forests are filled with berries and grapes. Fields are rolling with spinach, every kind of bean you could imagine, heads of lettuce, potatoes, onions, egg plants, rice, etc. Every where you walk is a buffet just waiting to be picked.
"What about meat?" you ask? There's no slaughter houses on Coffeetron. All meat magically appears in grocery stores on foam trays wrapped in seran-wrap. Any animals on Coffeetron are purely for humans to enjoy covorting with. There isn't just happy cows in California, they're all over the place on Coffeetron. Because they know they aren't going to a slaughter house.
Currency? Why the coffee bean is the currency in Coffeetron! The exchange rate is one American dollar will get you 5 pounds of coffee beans. And you can buy a lot with 5 pounds of coffee beans! You can rent one of the many luxurious cabins for a month with one pound of coffee beans. Just imagine what you could do with one hundred American dollars on Coffeetron!
Our housing, lodging, etc? Oh you're going to love it! All hotels have 24 hour room service, gyms, spas, buffets, and casinos. Every hotel is a five star hotel. Or maybe you're on an extended stay and you'd like to rent a fully furnished cabin in the mountains? You're in luck! All cabins contain any and all luxuries you could want. Pool tables, juke boxes, hot tubs, whirl pool bathtubs, multi shower heads with massage settings that range from "Oh that feels nice" to "Jesus I'm fucking cumming!". Kitchens are equipped with top of the line appliances, cookware, and utensils. Cabins also include a media room with surround sound HD big screen TVs and high def stereos that are hooked up to your computer so you can make your own playlist of music YOU want to hear.
Recreation? For those of you that like hiking? Get your boots on because there are many mountain ranges for you traipse around. And don't fear the wild life! Many of our mountain lions, wolves, bears, etc are as tame house cats. While hiking, it is not uncommon to see visitors of Coffeetron tossing little aluminum foil balls or milk rings to the Bobcats and watching them bat them back and forth between their paws. Wolves are often seen rolling over to let humans rub their bellies and bears are seen snuggling up to campers at night to keep them warm. The water is the cleanest you will ever see on Coffeetron. You can see to the bottom of the lakes, ponds, and rivers. And the temperature is always perfect for taking a dip, with or without clothes.
You feel like shopping? You're gonna be dressed to the nines after a shopping spree on Coffeetron. All the latest fashions are sold in our exquisite boutiques where you can literally buy them for beans! And don't worry about snobby boutique clerks. At the slightest bit of snobbishness, ignorancy, or impatience they are taken out back a flogged.
"But what about crime? Is it safe to bring my children to Coffeetron?" you ask? Crime!? What crime? There's no stinkin' crime on Coffeetron! All visitors to Coffeetron are brain scanned upon entry. Any deviations like child molesting, domestic violence tendancies, etc are immediatly bounced back into outerspace where they die a horrible death and their dead body floats around for eternity. But please, still be aware of where your children are while visiting. We suggest that children need to be supervised at all times. There are many nude beaches and camps on Coffeetron. And even though the wild life is harmless, you wouldn't want them to fall of a cliff should they wander away. I never claimed the ground was made of feather pillows.
If you need a break, feel free to place them in one of the top of the line day care centers. All day care centers include ball pits, giant hamster trails, petting zoos, water slides, swimming pools, bouncing castles, crafts, video games, and everything your pride and joy's heart desires. And all of it his monitored by highly trained childhood development specialists.
And while you're taking a break from your children, take time out to enjoy the fine dining and dance clubs. Or take a class! There's pottery, painting, quilting, knitting, crocheting, cooking, etc. Or you could enjoy the biggest library you have ever seen! Grab a book and take a load off in one of the cushiest chairs your ass has ever sat in.
So there you have it! You'll never want to leave! It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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October 30, 2008 - Thursday
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Current mood:  busy
Category: School, College, Greek
So I volunteered to go along on Lilly's first school field trip. I know crazy right? Why in the hell would I do that? I was asking myself the same question after I signed up for it. I would be working the night before and there will be about 30-40 short people running every where. And not only that! But I had volunteered to let another child ride in my car, since her pre-school doesn't have a school bus. *gasp* That means that while I am driving with another kid in my car, I can not.....
Smoke
Cuss
Speed
Listen to questionable music
Give the finger
*GASP*
You all would be proud of me though. I was the model parent. THE WHOLE TIME! Or atleast I thought so anyway. When I got home, I got the kid and me dressed and out the door in record time. It was amazing. No constant "Lilly! Get your clothes on NOW!" Because I had something to hold over her head. The field trip! All I had to say was, "We have to get ready to go on the field trip!" and her clothes were on. We get to the school and I meet up with another parent that I've gotten to know a little. (Imagine that. I'm actually speaking to other parents. I always figured I was anti-social) She said that there was a whole bunch of parents that showed up and wondered if maybe we could ride together. It made sense because she had a mini-van. There was a lot of other parents coming. How many kids could they possibly have riding with her!? And even though it doesn't mean I can smoke, speed, cuss, listen to questionable music, and give the finger like I usually do. It atleast takes away the stressor that causes that behaviour....DRIVING!
We get inside and get them into the gym and are treated to seeing how the first part of their day goes. The teacher blows her whistle, they all line up, they follow her to their room, and all sit in the circle area. Then they say their morning prayer. And they were all LISTENING! All of us parents standing around wonder why they can't do that at home? (I wonder if it's the whistle. I think I'm gonna have to get one.) There was a bit of music time while waiting to go. Mr. Mark played the Cheetah Song. And all the boys were doing some kind of thing that looked like a cheetah running in place. None of the girls were doing it. Except my girl! My girl didn't care and got down on the floor with them while the other girls just stood there.
Then they start assigning us kids. Turns out the other parent and I weren't able to ride together. But that's alright. I don't need that much socializing all in one day. Baby steps. It's best to take baby steps. The child who got to ride in my car was this FUNNY little boy who we shall call "Little Bit". Because he is TINY. Since a lot of the kids are not big enough to be out of car seats, the parents who were not coming along had to leave their child's car seat behind so we could put them in our cars. Little Bit is so small he is still in a child seat. Not a booster seat. An actual child car seat where he has to be strapped in and everything. And that seat was HEAVY!
After lugging it out to the car and getting them strapped in, we get out on the road and this is where I find out that Little Bit is fucking hilarious. That kid talked so much that even Lilly, who never shuts up, couldn't even get a word in. It went like this..........
"Hey you know what!? My grandma was on a horse and she fell off and broke her head. But hey, you know what!? I got on a horse, and I ALMOST fell off and broke my head open. But hey, you know what? I diiiidddnnnn't! And hey! You know what!? When I grow up, I'm gonna be a cowboy. All I need is to get myself a cowboy hat and I'll be ready to be a cowboy."
"But won't you need some cowboy boots too?"
"Hey you know what?! I already got some boots. I just need a hat and I'll be ready." I had the disney station playing on the satellite radio and there was a twangy/country sounding kids song on. He then says, "See, they're even playing a cowboy song for me."
After that there was many more "Hey you know what!?". But none of them stood out until this.........
"Hey you know what!? Yesterday, I went to the doctor and they cut off my legs!"
"Oh no! But they sure did put them back on pretty fast because you have your legs today."
"Hey you know what!? When they cut off my legs, they looked inside them before they put them back on. And hey, you know what!? They cut off my legs, my arms, my head, my eyes.....and my fingers!"
"Oh no!"
"And hey you know what!? I was so mad at them! I was so mad I kicked them in the FACE!" he says, making the maddest face I have ever seen on such a face so tiny.
"Oh no! But Little Bit! You're to nice a little boy to do something like that!"
"But hey you know what!? I diiiiiiiiid." BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! "I was so mad at them, I kicked them in the peanuts!" BWAHAHAHA!!!!!
We get to our destination, which was Young's Dairy. Lilly's been there plenty of times. But she was still excited as ever. We get all the kids over to the building where they talk to the kids about cows and milking them. At one point, the speaker asks the children, "What do we make here at Young's with the milk we get from our cows?" This was followed by a short bit of silence before one child said, "Ice cream!" This was followed by another child gasping and exclaiming ,"How'd you know that!?" Hahaha!!!
After that they got to milk a fake cow, and then they got to put their thumbs into a milking machine to see that the cow feels when she gets milked. Then we got to take a wagon ride out to a pumkin patch where all the kids got to pick out a pumpkin. Damn it was cold! We knew it was going to be chilly, but the wind made it aweful! And we did a lot of standing around outside waiting for the other class to finish up. Can you blame the kids for running around in circles? They were probably just trying to keep warm.
Then we got to go to the barn where they got to see some ducks, chickens, and Lilly's favorite....the goats. It was chaos! Short little people running everywhere. Those poor animals. I know the tour guide told them to keep their voices down and not to run. But even without that, can you imagine how those animals must've felt? Seeing all these tiny little hands going at them? They handled it well though. As soon as they saw that the tiny little hands didn't hold food, they went to the other side of their pens. Soon after they took them back outside to feed the goats. It was amazing. They got all 3-40 kids lined up in a row (without the aid of whips or guns.....magical I tell you!) and then went down the line giving them a handful of goat food. They managed to do this twice.....Amazing.
After that, we got to go eat ice cream of all things! After being outside in the freezing cold, we got to go have ice cream. But you don't go to Young's and not get ice cream. We managed to get all the kids sitting down and eating ice cream with not a lot of noise. They kept it pretty quiet. Though towards the end, when they had finished their ice cream, they started to get a bit rowdy. You should have seen the old people there. The ones who probably go there everyday for their senior citizens breakfast and free refills of coffee? The ones who had canes looked like they'd like to hit the children. The ones who didn't have canes looked longingly at the ones who did have one.
Then back into the cars to go back to school where I got to hear many more, "Hey! You know what!?" from Little Bit. Although I found him hilarious, I'm sure he drives his family crazy after a full day of it. I can only imagine the amount of "Hey! You know what!" he must've given his mother that day.
I asked him, "If you're gonna be a cowboy, are you going to need a cow?"
"Hey you know what!? Yeah!"
"What would you name your cow?"
"Spiderman. What are you gonna name yours?"
"Larry."
"Hey you know what!? That's a good name for a cow! What are you gonna name your's Lilly?"
"Princess!" she says. *rolls eyes* Of course! Did I tell you she's going as Belle from Beauty and the Beast? There was TONS of cool costumes at the store, and she zeroed in on the freakin' princess dresses! AAAAARRRGGGGG! I wanted her to be something scary! *bangs head on nearest hard surface*
So that was pretty much it. Lilly got upset and cried because we couldn't take Little Bit home to play with us. He told her in his most grown up voice, "But I can't. If I'm not here when my mommy comes to pick me up, she's gonna be so mad!" This did not satisfy her though, as she continued to cry even well after we had gotten home.
I have to say it was a pretty good time. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I think if they have another field trip, I'll volunteer for that one too. I really should anyway. I am home during the day. It's one of the reasons why I decided to work nights. Because I wanted to be able to be there for Lilly's stuff. So it's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done! (I might not be able to get back on today, but trust me, I'll be on tomarrow. I know I'm WAY behind on blogs!)
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October 23, 2008 - Thursday
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Current mood: sleepy
Category: Life
Pretty interesting stuff happening here lately. Or atleast to me it is. I don't know about you. But anyhoo! Here goes some of my famous rambling.......
~~ *sigh* I killed a duck. *sigh* Yes, I can now add a duck to the list of things I have killed (or maimed) with my car. See, there's a horse pasture near my house that has a pond where there are some kind of funky looking ducks or mallards that live there. And often times they wander out of the pasture to get across the road to the other side. And usually it's always at the same spot. Well, while driving home the other day, it seems that the ducks took a field trip and decided to cross farther up the road from where they normally do. Totally took me by surprise. There was no way I could get around it. I couldn't suddenly stop because there was a car behind me. I couldn't swerve because there was a school bus coming down the road in my direction. So there was no way I could avoid hitting them. Fortunatly, I think I only killed one duck. But as I looked in my rear view mirror, I could see them going back into the grass to see after the one who got hit.
*feels heart contract from guilt*
That just killed me. It was a momma and her babies! ARRRRRRGGGGG!!!! Now every time I see them at the side of the road, waiting to cross, I always feel like every time they see my car they're screaming "Hey! There's that car again! Remember?! The car that hit and killed Randy?! POLICE! POLICE!" (Remember when I said that soemtimes it seems like I can hear bird voices? This is one of those times.) I feel so guilty! I fear the ducks will get their retrobution. Hence the song..........
*Sorry. I just love that song. Thought I'd see if I could work that in!*
~~ Some how, Lilly has figured out what a nut sack is and where it is. The other night I was reading and she came to me crying because David flicked her nose or some shit like that and she was crying, complaining that Daddy hurt her...blah, blah, blah. Me, annoyed because I have been trying to finish this book for TWO WEEKS because of constant interruptions ("In Cold Blood" by Truman Capote...Not to bad. Interuptions? Let's see...Lilly wanting me to feed her, read to her, play with her. Me sleeping, people constantly talking to me, GG not giving me a moments peace at work, etc.) I told her, "Well, go punch him in his nut sack" and continued to read my book.
So Lilly goes out to the kitchen and starts swinging at David's crotch. David cups his balls after a close call, dances around the kitchen away from her (as she is still taking a few good swings at it), and screams....
"Stop it! How the hell did you know where a nut sack is!? STOP!" He then looks to me and says, "What the hell have you been teaching her when I'm at work!?"
*throws hands up in my defense*
Hey. I never taught her a thing. I have a theory though! I figure it has to be hereditary. It was destiny for her to know where a nut sack is at such an early age. Here, let me tell you why......
Many moons ago when David and I were in the third grade (about 20 years ago....GAWD! I feel so old!), I often would kick David in the nut sack. Yes, we were childhood sweet hearts then too. But there were the in between times when I hated with every fiber of my 9-10 year old body. And that's when I would kick him in the nut sack. Once I kicked him so hard I left a bruise (but trust me, he had it coming at the time). It's actually amazing that he was able to impregnate me at all! That's how often I kicked him!
So! It is probably in her genes to know where his nut sack his and to try and do damage. I'm thinking David needs to invest in a cup. She's a strong little kid. She could hurt him!
~~ Speaking of birds...I ROCK THE CHICKEN! Yes I surely do! I came up with a new soup recipe yesterday. I need to tweak it out a bit more and add some stuff. But it's still pretty good as is. I call it "Chicken Ranch Soup". I know, not very original. But I was feeling crappy (sick) and lacking in sleep. It was enough that I even made dinner, much less try to name it. Anyhoo! I had half a roasted chicken left over (and it was pretty damn tasty if I do say so myself. I'm pretty damned good at roasting a chicken!) and decided to make soup with it. So I started prowling my cabinets looking for ingrediants. Some of my best recipies have come about when I'm getting low on groceries and need to make dinner. So I raid the cupboards, the fridge, and slap together some pretty tasty shit.
Anyhoo, I'm going through the cupboards and BINGO! I see packets of dry ranch dressing mix! Then I thought about making a milk based broth and adding the ranch dressing mix for flavor. Also I added a can of diced tomatoes, a cup of frozen corn, about a cup and a half of cooked rice, chicken broth, cheese, milk, garlic, onion, some instant mashed potato flakes to thicken it up some, and a couple tablespoons of creamy ranch dressing. Oh! And of course half a roasted chicken, deboned and chopped. It turned out pretty damn good. I would have liked to have added some black beans. But that's okay. I'm going to make the soup again on a bigger scale. I can add those then. Along with some carrots and celery.
~~ Speaking of soup! I'm getting tired of the name "Sweet Mistress" (No offense Racy. But I feel like I'm due for a change.) I was thinking of changing my name to just plain old "Soupy". Or maybe "Sweet Soupy" or "Soupy Sweets". Lemme know what you guys think. It's been real... It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
 | Currently reading:
The Front
By Patricia Cornwell
Release date: 2007-05-22 |
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October 17, 2008 - Friday
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Current mood: adventurous
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
This is my first foray into the "Myspace Cadets" group. The lovely (and stylish) Jean Has Been Shopping has gotten me turned onto it. Why did I pick up yet another blogging thing? I do not know. Since I have a tendency to disappear at times. But it gives me something to do other than ramble aimlessly when I do get a chance to get on here.
So anyway, our mission to write about is......
"What Would We Choose for a Super Power"
Or something like that anyway. This one is easy for me. And I'm sure you all can guess what it is since I always make the statement that I'd like to be a fly on the wall. I would love to have the super power of......
INVISIBILITY!
Hell yeah people! There's so much stuff I could. Let me count the ways.....
1.) Fuck with the people I love -- You know? Scare the ever lovin' shit out of them. I'd be all over that!
2.) Kick a shit load of people in the nut sack -- And this would work because I could slip onto a plane, fly across the miles, and kick some people in the nut sack. Like the people who decided to make the movie "Queen of the Damned" and totally fuck it up. Or maybe THAT BOY!
3.) There a few people who I would sneak in (or hell, walk right in since I'd be invisible) and watch how they are in the sack. People like Ryan Reynolds, Antonio Banderas, or who ever is at the top of my "I'd fuck him" list at that moment. Because I really don't want to fuck them. I just want to see what they're like in bed.
4.) I'd go watch Lilly at school and actually see what she does. Instead of me asking her only to be told either, "Nothing!" or "I can't tell you!".....I pay your damn tuition! You sure as shit better tell me damn it!
5.) I'd follow my hubby around all day and bitch slap any woman that looks at him with the least bit of lust. I'm thinking that maybe if I could just slap someone and get it out of my system, I'd be cured.......Yeah right. But it might be fun.
6.) I'd just watch people period. Because I like watching people. I'd go into their homes, places of work, sit next to them in their cars...And just watch them.
Okay so that's about it. It's not as much as I thought. But it's enough to keep me busy for a while. What super power would YOU like to have? Is there anyone that you'd like for me to kick in the nut sack for you? Seriously. Location is NOT an issue! It's been real...It's been fun...But for now...I'm done!
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