http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2009/01/doctor_who_scarf_guides.html?CMP=OTC-0D6B48984890

In the midst of my morning commute the other day, I was stuck by the desire to stop the car and explore the depths of the woods on the side of the highway.  This is not a new feeling for me.  As a child, I would spend hours at a time in the brief patch of woodland in our yard.  As I grew older, I ranged into the actual forest that started near the railroad tracks and ran down to the Missouri river.  Even after my Boy Scout days were long gone, I still welcomed the opportunity to walk among the trees.

I think that there is something other-worldly (possibly even mystical) about the woods.  In the woods, Creation surrounds you.  It towers over you.  In the modern world, Man has subdued nature.  Most flora or fauna you encounter is under your foot, or is otherwise dwarfed by our imitation mountains of glass and steel.  In the forest, however, a man can step back in time, and remember that he is a part of the natural world, and not merely the master of it. 

In the forest, I can in a sense become Adam.  As I name the beasts and the trees, I am aware of the infinite genius and expressiveness of my Creator, who walks with me in the Garden...

From Wired magazine...

We'll be brief: Hemingway once wrote a story in just six words ("For sale: baby shoes, never worn.") and is said to have called it his best work. So we asked sci-fi, fantasy, and horror writers from the realms of books, TV, movies, and games to take a shot themselves.

Dozens of our favorite auteurs put their words to paper, and five master graphic designers took them to the drawing board. Sure, Arthur C. Clarke refused to trim his ("God said, 'Cancel Program GENESIS.' The universe ceased to exist."), but the rest are concise masterpieces.

Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket.
- William Shatner

Computer, did we bring batteries? Computer?
- Eileen Gunn

Vacuum collision. Orbits diverge. Farewell, love.
- David Brin

Gown removed carelessly. Head, less so.
- Joss Whedon

Automobile warranty expires. So does engine.
- Stan Lee

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
- Alan Moore

From torched skyscrapers, men grew wings.
- Gregory Maguire

Internet "wakes up?" Ridicu -
no carrier.
- Charles Stross

With bloody hands, I say good-bye.
- Frank Miller

Wasted day. Wasted life. Dessert, please.
- Steven Meretzky

"Cellar?" "Gate to, uh … hell, actually."
- Ronald D. Moore

Epitaph: Foolish humans, never escaped Earth.
- Vernor Vinge

It cost too much, staying human.
- Bruce Sterling

We kissed. She melted. Mop please!
- James Patrick Kelly

It's behind you! Hurry before it
- Rockne S. O'Bannon

I'm your future, child. Don't cry.
- Stephen Baxter

1940: Young Hitler! Such a cantor!
- Michael Moorcock

Lie detector eyeglasses perfected: Civilization collapses.
- Richard Powers

I'm dead. I've missed you. Kiss … ?
- Neil Gaiman

The baby's blood type? Human, mostly.
- Orson Scott Card

Kirby had never eaten toes before.
- Kevin Smith

Rained, rained, rained, and never stopped.
- Howard Waldrop

To save humankind he died again.
- Ben Bova

We went solar; sun went nova.
- Ken MacLeod

Husband, transgenic mistress; wife: "You cow!"
- Paul Di Filippo

"I couldn't believe she'd shoot me."
- Howard Chaykin

Don't marry her. Buy a house.
- Stephen R. Donaldson

Broken heart, 45, WLTM disabled man.
- Mark Millar

TIME MACHINE REACHES FUTURE!!! … nobody there …
- Harry Harrison

Tick tock tick tock tick tick.
- Neal Stephenson

Easy. Just touch the match to
- Ursula K. Le Guin

Special Web-only edition: We were unable to include these 59 stories in the print magazine.

New genes demand expression -- third eye.
- Greg Bear

WORLD'S END. Sic transit gloria Monday.
- Gregory Benford

Epitaph: He shouldn't have fed it.
- Brian Herbert

Batman Sues Batsignal: Demands Trademark Royalties.
- Cory Doctorow

Heaven falls. Details at eleven.
- Robert Jordan

whorl. Help! I'm caught in a time
- Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel

Nevertheless, he tried a third time.
- James P. Blaylock

God to Earth: "Cry more, noobs!"
- Marc Laidlaw

Help! Trapped in a text adventure!
- Marc Laidlaw

Thought I was right. I wasn't.
- Graeme Gibson

Lost, then found. Too bad.
- Graeme Gibson

Rapture postponed. Ark demanded! Which one?
- David Brin

Dinosaurs return. Want their oil back.
- David Brin

Bang postponed. Not Big enough. Reboot.
- David Brin

Temporal recursion. I'm dad and mom?
- David Brin

Time Avenger's mistaken! It wasn't me...
- David Brin

Democracy postponed. Whence franchise? Ask Diebold...
- David Brin

Cyborg seeks egg donor, object ___.
- David Brin

Deadline postponed. Five words enough...?
- David Brin

Metrosexuals notwithstanding, quiche still lacks something.
- David Brin

Brevity's virtue? Wired saves adspace. Subscribe!
- David Brin

Death postponed. Metastasized cells got organized.
- David Brin

Microsoft gave us Word. Fiat lux?
- David Brin

Mind of its own. Damn lawnmower.
- David Brin

Singularity postponed. Datum missing. Query Godoogle?
- David Brin

Please, this is everything, I swear.
- Orson Scott Card

I saw, darling, but do lie.
- Orson Scott Card

Osama's time machine: President Gore concerned.
- Charles Stross

Sum of all fears: AND patented.
- Charles Stross

Ships fire; princess weeps, between stars.
- Charles Stross

Mozilla devastates Redmond, Google's nuke implicated.
- Charles Stross

Will this do (lazy writer asked)?
- Ken MacLeod

Cryonics: Disney thawed. Mickey gnawed. Omigawd.
- Eileen Gunn

WIRED stimulates the planet: Utopia blossoms!
- Paul Di Filippo

Clones demand rights: second Emancipation Proclamation.
- Paul Di Filippo

MUD avatars rebel: virtual Independence Day.
- Paul Di Filippo

We crossed the border; they killed us.
- Howard Waldrop

H-bombs dropped; we all died.
- Howard Waldrop

Your house is mine: soft revolution.
- Howard Waldrop

Warskiing; log; prop in face.
- Howard Waldrop

The Axis in WWII: haiku! Gesundheit.
- Howard Waldrop

Salinger story: three koans in fountain.
- Howard Waldrop

Finally, he had no more words.
- Gregory Maguire

There were only six words left.
- Gregory Maguire

In the beginning was the word.
- Gregory Maguire

Commas, see, add, like, nada, okay?
- Gregory Maguire

He read his obituary with confusion.
- Steven Meretzky

Time traveler's thought: "What's the password?"
- Steven Meretzky

I win lottery. Sun goes nova.
- Steven Meretzky

Steve ignores editor's word limit and
- Steven Meretzky

There is something about a new gadget or tool, especially one that fits in a pocket or on a belt, that makes me feel like a little kid at Christmas-time. I don't know if it is inherent in the male psyche or something we learn as children, but I think that most guys secretly (or not-so-secretly) would love to wear a utility belt. Our ability to make and use tools, although not absolutely unique in the animal kingdom, is one of the most important and defining characteristics of mankind. Tools allow the mind and the will to act beyond the limitations of the body. So the giddiness I feel when I get a new Swiss Army Knife or multitool may actually underscore a noble urge to express my self -- to make my mark on the world and thereby embrace my humanity....

...Or, it may just be an excuse for me to pretend I am Batman.

(R2-D2 was robbed...)

link: 50 best movie robots

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

6. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.

7. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".

8. Play with the automatic doors.

9. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

10. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

11. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

12. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

13. Put M&M's on layaway.

14. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

15. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

16. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

17. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

18. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin-to the Batcave!"

19. TP as much of the store as possible.

20. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

21. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

22. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

23. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

24. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

25. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

26. Take bets on the battle described above.

27. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

28. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."

29. . Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

30. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

31. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

32. Two words: "Marco Polo."

33. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

34. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

35. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

36. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

37. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

38. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

39. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

40. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

41. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

42. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

43. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

44. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

45. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

46. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

47. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way."hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

48. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

49. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

50. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

51. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

52. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

53. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

54. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

55. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

56. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

57. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.