Hey Folks!

So right now I'm comparing Scanners. Enough money to pay for a good scanner has come in. This means I can take the next step in compiling the pictures that go together.

12 years of sex/porn/art drawings. I will only use the most aestetic and the next step is creating a series of handprinted, numbered Tshirts. My buddy Jonas handprints them on highquality Tshirts.

They are provocative as in nasty, kinky, very sexual and sometimes very funny. As soon as I have scanned and treated the images I will get a link up to let you know how they look.

Naturally the people who have donated will get a Tshirt for the sheer material cost, iow, the t-shirt and the paint.


MUSIC---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The music; I am ready to get to the next step of work with the O-project. Dave Witte(Burnt By The Sun & Municipal Waste)  and Scott Reeder(Kyuss) will be helping me out together with Andy Foo from Foobar.

Some Hardware + Studiotime = money and I need your help to make it real.

CONTINUATION -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I said I still need funds to get a good vocal microphone and compressor.
I'll be recording demo-versions of the songs with Andy Foo over june and july and then send the stuff to Scott and Dave. This means we need your help.  

Me and Anna(Editor) will finalize the books this summer, and we are looking at the best option for printing.  

1. Go to my myspace page.
2. Get yer credit card.
3. Press the donate button, and fork over all you can afford or believe it's worth to make it happen.

There's enough of you out there now so it should be a reachable goal. I don't expect this to happen in two minutes, but I hope you understand it's a question of donating anything from a couple of bucks or like someone just did, pitch in $100.

I need quiet a lump of the green stuff, but I have over 5000 friends on this myspace-thing and more than 60.000 at The Haunted-myspace and we should be able to make it happen. For everyone that pitches in a buck or two we get closer to being able to make it happen.

I keep track of everyone who donates, you will NOT be forgotten or passed over. With every step that this takes I will make sure you get something in return.

I have this idea that art is good way to raise questions, make people go WHAT THE FUCK! and generally provoce and question the general status quo.

Well, you know how it works if you agree, and you if don't, I suppose you don't... :)

Peace, and THANK YOU! / Peter Dolving

I'm waking up.

That is not to be taken for granted. My body feels like it's been through a rock grinder, thank dog for yoga and coffee. I know that's a shitty combination, but it works.

I read something I found irritating. A guy I respect very much was ranting about anarcho-capitalism and anti-goverment... I find stuff like that tiring, and of course I'll tell you why.

OK. So we live in a capitalist system. Capitalism itself being a hierachic structure and ideal. Anarchism on the other hand is basically egalitarian and anti-authoritarian.

I find most so-called "anarcho-capitalists" are neo-liberals, they just don't want to be bad guys so they call it "anarcho-capitalism"; Because they want the money, the power and what they percieve as freedom, just not the responsibility. Which in essence is neo-liberalism.

Let's not get shit confused OK?

Communism is not Socialism. American Democracy is not Greek Democracy, etc.

No matter how you turn the concepts, Anarchism and Capitalism simply do not work together. It's like Chinese Democracy or Jewish Nazism. Just because we can put the words together does not make it viable theory, or potential reality.
 
Anarcho-Capitalists are basically as I mentioned before, mere Neo-Libs, trying their best to justify themselves with poor rethoric. Like politicians calling torture "advanced interrogation techniques". Words are so easy to use, but important to pay attention to.

The reason I keep coming back to this stuff is that I do sincerily believe there are truly creative humanist options to the old style of oligarchic capitalist system that we CHOSE to maintain, in Anarchist theory.
Now, let's look at a few fundamentals; The use of money does not equal Capitalism. Capitalism as we know it is a system built around large construct, private concentrations of controlled, produced, and profit motivated hierarchies. An idea that ownership and such, are intrisically justified. Mostly built around the loose ideal that "What I earn is mine" and ultimately heralding the principle that your worth is basically what you can accumulate, regardless of what conditions you find yourself in.

Anarchism does not exclude the use of token value monetarism, though some anarchists do. It's merely something we could use to prove our participation, hence justifying general consumption of sorts. It is however not an anarchistic idea per se. Simply one of many thoughts on how to administrate society in a syndicalist type of interaction. Althought if one is to look at the anarchistic ideal as such it simply does not correlate with the use of money, since it holds each man and woman of equal value regardless of how "productive" one is to society. I will go into this later...

Now, the capitalist idea, pro-state as well as anti-state, is based in a pre-Marxist thought-tradition with David Hume and John Locke as main figureheads, does not really take general human history in consideration. Even when it says it does. It is all written from the perspective of white, wealthy men and more important; In the 18th century...

Other significant ideas that come into play in this is Marx's late 19-century Historic materialism, a prerequisite to even consider political theory, as is Adam Smith's even older thoughts on trickle down theory - even Benito Muossolini fascist ideology, Huey Long's "Share Our Wealth" or Friedmann's UOC NeoLiberalism, with extreme thought's on state vs. market and NAIRU, Non-Accelerating Inflation Rate-of-Unemployment etc...
 
Because when it boils down to it, to think one has knowledge just because you have an opinion is like drinking piss when there's water around the corner.
What rarely seems to come into play in layman's discussions about these thoughts, and always ends up being an obstacle to creative discussion is a lack of differentiation of concepts. The general lack of knowledge tends make for firey tossing of insults rather than actual exchange of ideas. Instead of searching for solutions, we defend the problem in fear of what we do not know. It's pretty sad really.

Back to my initial trail of thought; Anarchism should not be confused or mixed with other thought-traditions into hotch-potch nonsense like Anarcho-Capitalist, or even worse; AnarChristians... Basically call things what they are; Neoliberalism, and Jesus-freaks.(Sorry, but really?).

The reason I find this important is the fundametal idea in Anarchism; No Gods, No Masters. This fundamental thought, an egalitarian individual-based mutualism verges on the buddhist concept of Ahimsa. Non-religious, a-political, because in essence it is not about ONE sollution, rather a multitude of sollutions. The concept of state is thrown aside, and replaced by that of administration, serving, accountable and non-governing. The ideal assumes, in contradiction to all other historically tried philosophies that YOU AND I are capable of learning, and taking responsibility for our own actions, and that there is no such thing as Santa Claus, Angels or any elite who knows better. More, but not better. No heaven nor hell, no good no evil. Simply creative and destructive, productive and counter productive. One could easily say Anarchism is a plead for reason, a suggestion and a compass rather than a dogma. A possibility for this earth, rather than the plague of chaos it is often depicted as in media worldwide.
Dig that shit.
 
 
Peace / Peter

So we're back in the US for a couple of days and I'm actually feeling good about it, more crap for the constant traveller and nocturnal.

Last night at the Royal Albert Arms Bar in Winnipeg, people were giving me beers throughout the show and well; I can not drink. Really. I can't.

So I neded up pouring all this beer over my head to cool of which was kind of a nice use of alcohol. But it really made me think how different life is for people.

I am a recovering addict, and yes it sucks ass on many levels. Not being able to drink beer however is NOT one of them levels. I accept that it's something I will
have to live with and that staying clean is is actually a hell of a lot more enjoyable than not doing so. 

The part where I have to learn to take responsibility for my own emotions... That on the other hand is some harsh shit. 

My emotions or should I say, my lack of being able to deal with them doesn't make me want to use anymore. Ultimatly, they are the reason I picked up in the first place, and if I step back out they'll be the reason.

Learning to deal with them is hard, but I'm pretty fucking decided to do my best.

I've come to understand that most people just repress the fuck out of their emotional life, and though it's not considered as healthy, it is accepted as "normative". For a recovering addict that shit is suicidal, because it basically like building a timebomb with a completely random trigger.

The last couple of months the sense of not catching up with my own life has been dragging with me. Family, friends, work and a everyone and everything wants a piece of me. Still, I consider myself priviliged. Most of the people I consider my real friends have somekind of Zen-like acceptance that I am there when I am there and that's that. Not everyone understands it though. Sometimes I have a hard time myself accepting it for what it is.

Of course, one could argue that I should just settle down and get a fucking real job. To stop being another asshole with somekind of artsy smartsy drive for creating stuff and performing. I hear that a LOT from some people; "I will never understand why you do what you do...". But really, there is nothing to understand. It is what it is. Accept it or don't.

It sounds a bit grim, but I am turning 40 this fall, and I'm actually beginning to accept that I am allowed to call myself an adult. I fucking love my job and it's
taken me 20 years to get to a point where I can enjoy it as much as I do and
make enough money on it to pay the bills. So the only thing that ever messes with me in the now, are my emotions.

I used to hate myself for even having them. I thought they meant I was weak. That, however is not reality. Reality is that fully experiencing your emotions is a sign of mental health and if one learns to "roll with the punches", so to speak, it even offers a sliver wisdom once in while.

Lack of sleep is the other major enemy. It weakens my patience, my resilience and my creativity, and it makes it hard to get a clear view of what is really going on. Fortunatly it's getting better and even though it's not much hours for the "real" world, it works for me on tour. I sleep days, and get up a couple of hours before the show and stay up at night. It's a bit vampirish.

So truth is I'm doing good, it hurts to miss the kids, it feels good doing what I love, but I'll be going home in one piece and god damn it's gonna be good being around them, whether I am ready or not. Because you know what? I love being their father and I love them no matter what mood I am in, or they are in.

See ya! / Pete