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Last Updated: 12/5/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 23
Sign: Virgo

City: PALMDALE
State: CALIFORNIA
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/7/2004

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Monday, August 03, 2009 

Othello Cast List

Othello- Darin Maddox

Iago- Karyn Ben Singer

Desdemona- Kelsey McIntyre

Emilia- Camille Willette

Cassio- Erica Tortolano

Roderigo- Melodie Lyon

Barbantio- Allaire Koslo

Duke Venice- Abbie DeVera- Jackson

Lodovica- Carla Leigh

Grationa- Melissa Martin

Bianca- Meagan Penn

Montano- Shawn Jordan

Thank you to everyone who auditioned!

Saturday, September 13, 2008 

Current mood:  confused
Category: Writing and Poetry

Who can say what's wrong with someone?

How can any single person understand the conflict of another

The towel just fell from the wrap around on to the floor

It brought something out, a laugh

When there is nothing to be happy about

This is a serious situation

And life changing motives are coming into play

What to do?

Who are you?

Where do you stand?

What difference are you making?

If you are at all

Something has been found

A hidden depression that is all by the surround

That's meant in the most literal terms

Did you get it?

Do you understand?

Thought not.

Now its standing.

Tell me where to go cause I'm just not comprehending.

And if my poetry questions or is self indulgent, get over it, you still read it.

I feel better now, at least I'm not crying.

Fuck you

end

Currently listening:
Transatlanticism
By Death Cab for Cutie
Release date: 2003-10-07
Thursday, March 22, 2007 

Current mood:  crushed

FUCK THIS

FUCK THAT

FUCK THEM

FUCK HIM

FUCK HER

FUCK IT

FUCK FRIENDS

FUCK FAMILY

FUCK LOVE

FUCK LIFE

FUCK YOU

BUT MOST OF ALL FUCK ME FOR EVERYTHING I AM  AND  HAVE  BECOME

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 

Current mood:  cranky
Category: Writing and Poetry

Haven't been releasing lately, keeping everything in.

Pushing all thoughts into the deepest corners of this empty pink toy box that I've been applying to much pressure to trying to break through.

What happens tomorrow if it all stops today? What will you do?

Say its all okay.?

Its not, you know. Nothing is, it never has been, and here we are ready.

But I'm not.

There are questions I have, ones I don't know the answer too, that you can't answer for me.

Am I wrong, should I be shunned, ridiculed, punished?

It's too hard to make you happy, but what about me?

When do I get to start living for that person I forgot about?

You still don't know. I have dreams that would give you nightmares.

I want to make the wrong decisions, choose bad friends, and walk down the isle with him.

I want to make me happy, forget what you say, and stand here until the end of days or until they come and get me,  I'll be there till one of the two, I've been so close for so long the fall doesn't look that far anymore.

I'm tired of trying so hard, and being told to try harder, I'm sick of you looking down on me; I'm done making everyone else happy.

What am I doing? And what are you going to do about it?

Currently listening:
The Devil And God Are Raging Inside Me
By Brand New
Release date: 21 November, 2006
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 
erica is the greatest.
Monday, December 18, 2006 

Current mood:  blank
Category: Writing and Poetry

Sitting alone once again, I begin to think.

Which on my part is not a very healthy choice.

But once I get going I can not stop.

Life, what's it worth?

Love, what's the point?

Family… doesn't know.

Everything is torn inside this box that is my broken heart.

Don't get ahead of yourself; this isn't about you, completely.

I won't lie; you have something to do with it.

It's time to reach inside, praying I find all the pieces.

The pain doesn't really hurt, not anymore.

It is, however, relatively frustrating.

I think I lost a few pieces in the carpet, but that's okay.

I'll look for them later, or I'll just vacuum.

I'm out of glue, tape will have to do.

Eventually I will get the hang of this.

They always say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Honestly I am beginning to believe that what doesn't kill you…

Just brings you one step closer.

Closer to the end of a burning bridge, it's quite a fall.

But unless you take the plunge, you'll never know.

So here I go, I just wish someone was holding my hand.

And if it can't be you, and it can't be him, and it can't be them.

Well, maybe, just maybe, with all the shit I've dealt with…

My so-called strength might just pull me through.

Currently listening:
Begin to Hope
By Regina Spektor
Release date: 13 June, 2006
Monday, December 18, 2006 

Current mood:  sore
Category: Life
Oh my god. I am in so much pain right now! I don't, know what I did, but I did something, to my neck and it hurts so bad. Like really bad. Basically just tell me that you love me! And whoever wants to come give me a massage, please feel free. : )
Currently listening:
Friendly Fire
By Sean Lennon
Release date: 25 September, 2006
Sunday, May 21, 2006 

Current mood:  frustrated
I am so frustrated right now. Everything in general is just getting on my last nerve. Like right now for instance Karyn is making the bed and Liz is talking on the phone, two things that would not bother me any other day, and it is bugging the fuck out of me. I don't know what is wrong with me right now. I am feeling anxious, but about what. I am writting this but I don't know why. Liz is now in the phone and talking very loudly and it is pissing me off. Ahhhhhhhh my brain is going to explode. I am serious! Make it stop! I just want to yell. But I do not have the strength to. I am sad La Cage is over tomorrow. It was an amazing show to do. I can't type anymore I decided it is just making me angry, I thought it would feel better if I let my angst out but it does nothing for me. I am just pissed at people right now. I don't want to talk to or see any one at this moment. Ahhhhhhhh!  Nothing personal.

P.S. Not that you read my blogs, or maybe you do, I don't know. But all I have to say is I like you....like that. So this is me indirectly telling you something I believe you may already know but you did not hear it from me till now. So there I said it, maybe one day soon I will have the balls to tell you directly. Silly me.
Friday, April 28, 2006 

Current mood:  blank
Category: Life
I have decided that I am weak. I have come to this conclusion for many reasons. First and foremost I cannot seem to quit smoking. I need to and I know that, but I don't want to so much I believe that is my first problem. Although I have given up on some of my other sins o' the flesh which I believe Kylie was happy to hear, even though she doesn't believe me. Second my low self-esteem has been presenting a major problem lately. Which is funny because before it never really affected me, but now it seems to be working against me. And of all the times in my life when my self-esteem should have been low this is the first time I am really realizing it and I it is the first time that I really should be confident, if that makes any sense. Third I am having major internal struggles with my belief system a.k.a Christianity mainly because everything with my family seems to be going wrong and has been for the past four years, problems within the family the I never knew existed are beginning to show their faces. I am scared of these things. Which means I am weak. There are of course the few minor dilemmas of every day life that our occurring, more than usual mind you, that I could list and whine about but I heard that falling asleep in front of the computer screen is bad for you because of radiation....... that was a joke.... did you laugh? Anyways if you are or know any good therapist please send them my way.
Monday, March 20, 2006 

Current mood:  discontent
I am sick of wanting to be held.

I am sick of being weak.

I am sick of not being able to quit smoking

I am sick of being sick.

I am sick of caring so much,

I am sick of being emotional.

I am sick of being walked on.

I am sick of you.

I am sick of feeling like I am not going anywhere with my life.

I am sick of not being in school.

I am sick of feeling stupid.

I sick of people.

I sick of people making assumptions about me.

I am sick of people talking shit about me.

I am sick of loving you.

I am sick of not being able to get over you.

I am sick of fitting in.

I am sick of myself.

And who can fix this, me. But where do I begin.