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♥Lady♥Spriggan♥



Last Updated: 9/12/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 36
Sign: Pisces

City: Wheaton
State: Illinois
Country: US
Signup Date: 5/9/2005

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Monday, April 20, 2009 

Current mood:  melancholy
When I was a kid my Dad married Maria, the woman who gave me a home and a family when I felt that I had none... She also gave me a step-sister, Chris, and two step-brothers, Ben and Jason.

I felt like I was a part of the family for a long time. And then I didn't. There were issues at home between us kids, and between Dad and Ma, No one ever really confronted the issues, we were just taken to counseling to work it out... It didn't work. As we grew up we all grew apart. It happens... Divorce happens and it did in our case...

After the divorce I went to stay with my Dad even after Ma offered me a home with her and my brothers and sister.  Too much had happened and too much had been said for that to work out, but I really wanted it... needed it in fact.

In December, Ben died of a massive heart attack. It shocked us all. His friends and Chris got together and planned a fundraiser for his wife and two kids as Ben had no life insurance and Michelle didn't work...

Saturday night, the day after what would have been Ben's birthday the fundraiser was held. I was terrified to say the least. At lot had happened in my childhood and it was not all good, I knew that I HAD to face my neighbors, classmates AND my step-sister and step-brother.

I have held on to feelings of worthlessness and self loathing for over twenty years. I saw myself as the black sheep of the family, the neighborhood and of the schools I attended. I was a troubled kid to say the least. I felt like I was the unaccepted person and the one that everyone made fun of... I forever (even to this day) have lived in the shadow of these feelings. I forever have been introduced as the step sister of one Bell or another... People in school would not call me by name, but by "Benny's step sister" or "Jason's step sister"... never as Carolyn, or Kari... it grated on my nerves. It grated on my nerves because I always saw them as my SISTER and my BROTHERS... never as my STEP...

At the benefit I was beyond terrified of facing these people and reliving the old feelings of doubt and pain... I held my head high and walked in the door.

I made it a point to run into everyone that I needed to, and was stunned and surprised to be approached by these people and called Carolyn or Kari. Blown away really. All the hugs and warmth that was directed at me have totally changed how I feel about myself now... and how I see my past. I may not have totally fit in, but I was accepted for being myself and loved regardless of what was happening around me and in my life... I was too blinded by doubt and pain to see this as a kid. I see it now.

My SISTER, Chris, introduced me as her sister/step sister/sister. I smiled and told her it was ok, in my heart she would always be my sister. For that, she gave me a hug and dissipated all my resentments of the last 20+ years. After reconnecting with Jason and trying to play catch up and exchanging phone numbers etc, he got real worried about how I was getting home to Wheaton and was trying to get me to call him when I got home so he knew that I was safe. I reassured him that I was staying in Chicago and promised to get in touch with him soon so that he could meet Nathan. He said he would like that very much.

The turn out at the gym was unlike anything I have seen to date. Everyone there, parents, "kids" teachers, the dean of students (Yes, MR G SHOWED UP), family... all there to help out the family of one man who had touched so many lives, had helped so many people. Amazing simply amazing.

While Ben and I didn't really get along, and we had our own set of issues, I can say here that I forgive him for who he was then, because he became who he was at the time of his death. I am sad that he is gone, but his passing has brought me closer to the remaining members of my extended family and relived me of the burdens of my childhood.

I have missed you Ben, but more than anything I missed who you became. You will always be my brother, and you were loved by so many!
Journey in Peace,
Kari


3:56 PM 
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Thursday, April 10, 2008 

Current mood:  nostalgic
Two of my co-workers nominated me for this... at first I thought it was all a big joke, till I started listening to what the woman on the phone had to say... Any help you can give would really help...
Peace,
Kari Schulz

This year, I have the honor and pleasure of participating in MDA’s Lock up at Charlie’s Ale House to help "Jerry’s Kids®". To reach my goal I need your help!

I’d like to include you or your company on my list of contributors who are helping me reach my goal. Your donation would help MDA continue the important fight against muscular dystrophy. Check out my web page by clicking on the link above. There you’ll find all kinds of information about MDA, and be able to make your tax-deductible donation on-line using your credit card.

MDA serves people in our community with neuromuscular disease by providing clinics, support groups, assistance with the purchase and repair of wheelchairs, braces and communication devices, and summer camp for kids. MDA also funds research grants to help find treatments and cures for some 43 neuromuscular diseases that affect people of all ages, right here in our community.

I sincerely hope that you’ll take the opportunity to support MDA. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to call or e-mail me.

On behalf of the families MDA serves, thank you!

Warmest Regards,

Kari Schulz

Click here to visit my Participant Page.


If the link above does not bring you to my Participant Page, cut and paste the address below into the address bar of your internet browser.

https://www.mdaevent.org/ParticipantInfo.aspx?j=1f1c945d-2fa3-4156-af93-4b5b7e412d4c
12:17 AM 
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Sunday, March 30, 2008 

Current mood:  determined
(Since everyone else is doing the lyric thing I might as well too...)

"Crashed"

Well I was moving at the speed of sound.
Head-spinning, couldn’t find my way around, and
Didn’t know that I was going down.
Yeah, yeah.
Where I’ve been, well it’s all a blur.
What I was looking for, I’m not sure.
Too late and didn’t see it coming.
Yeah, yeah.

And then I crashed into you,
And I went up in flames.
Could’ve been the death of me,
But then you breathed your breath in me.
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
You will consume me,
But I can’t walk away.

Somehow, I couldn’t stop myself.
I just wanted to know how it felt.
Too strong, I couldn’t hold on.
Yeah, yeah.
Now I’m just tryin’ to make some sense
Out of how and why this happened.
Where we’re heading, there’s just no knowing.
Yeah, yeah.

And then I crashed into you,
And I went up in flames.
Could’ve been the death of me,
But then you breathed your breath in me.
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
You will consume me,
But I can’t walk away.

From your face, your eyes
Are burning to me.
You saved me, you gave me
Just what I need.
Oh, just what I need.

And then I crashed into you,
And I went up in flames.
Could’ve been the death of me,
But then you breathed your breath in me.
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
You will consume me,
But I can’t walk away.

And then I crashed into you,
And then I crashed into you,
And then I crashed into you,
And then I crashed into you,
And I crashed into you,
Like a runaway train.
You will consume me,
But I can’t walk away.
Currently listening:
Daughtry
By Daughtry
Release date: 21 November, 2006
3:38 AM 
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Thursday, February 28, 2008 

Current mood:  thoughtful
1) There is no sweeter sound than your child saying Momma for the first time... with the exception of him saying Mommy a few months later...

2) Hotwheel SUV's DO NOT FLOAT... well ok, to be honest, they do not FLUSH either...

3) The cuddle time you have before your child starts to walk is to be cherished ALWAYS, cause as soon as he can run off, he will...

4) Cracker crumbs and spit up becomes a fashion STATEMENT and does not a messy shirt make!!!

5) Neosporin PLUS is the best EVER diaper rash cream...

6) You can teach your child to say almost ANYTHING... (case in point, Nathan now says "Mommy Pretty" however no one knows he is refering to my jewelry!!!)

7) Toys that take batteries should NEVER be given to another's child, and those same said toys should NEVER actually HAVE batteries IN them!!

8) Open mouth baby kisses are precious even if that same mouth is full of cracker crumbs!!

9) It is OKAY to say NO back to your child, but only as long as you don't give in seconds later...

10) There is nothing better in this world than a smile from your child when they see you first thing in the morning or when you pick them up from Grandma's!!! (with the exception of the free time you get while your wee one is at Grandma's!!)

3:59 PM 
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Saturday, October 06, 2007 

Current mood:  enthralled

So Nathan is walking and talking... trying to spoon feed himself and trying HARD to CLIMB any and everything in his path... 
It is soooo funny to watch him smile that silly toothy grin and stand up looking at me as if he is going to rush into my open arms only to start walking backwards away from me... LOL :)
Nathan woke me up the other morning at 4 AM playing with his singing frog, and clapping his hands, pushing the button on the frog skipping past all the songs till he got to "If you are Happy and You Know it Clap Your Hands"... and then doing it all over again... I could only laugh and pull the covers over my head...
This little kid who last year could just sit and stare at me is growing up so fast... I kind of miss that tiny little baby who I could spend afternoons napping with all cuddled up in my arms... but at the same time, I just ADORE this strong, independant, WILLFUL child who gives me open mouth baby kisses and clutches the back of my neck with his sticky hands giggling and saying "Mam-Ma-Ma"... Nathan is SO amazing...
As for the rasins... lets just say that I was only warned AFTER he ate them that they come out much more plump than they were when they went in. :P (BLECH)

Peace,
Kari

2:01 AM 
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Friday, May 11, 2007 

Current mood:  content
I have to say that raising a child on my own so far is not as bad as I had thought it might be, I am SURE that it would be much harder on me if my Aunt were not helping me... Sure I have no ME time and no FREE time, but I have not had that in a long time anyway... Everyday I get to watch the changes that Nathan goes thru and get to watch him growing up and into a person with his own personality. It is really quite amazing! The boy is trying so hard to crawl FORWARD instead of backwards, and he is all the time wanting to walk and stand. It is really cute to see... sometimes it is frustrating to not be able to just do it for him. I guess that is just part of being a MOM. He wants to feed himself and aside from the jar food, I let him. We have a battle at every meal over the spoon, and I hate to admit this, I do not always win! Frank is still well Frank, but he is trying harder that I thought he would. He comes every week to see Nathan and refuses to let me take over (unless the boy is really upset then I just take over...-Mommy knows best). Frank calles me all the time to see how "his little big guy" is doing and how he is feeling. It warms my heart. It's hard as hell to talk to him and to see him, but he is playing nice so I guess that it is ok. I don't ever want there to be a battle like my parents and his parents had... it's too hard on the kids when parents fight. That is the prime reason that I left. I wanted Nathan to grow up in a world that was happy, comforting and loving, at least at home. I really feel that Frank being in Nathans life is an important thing. I am still thinking about moving south, but I have no time frame in mind as of yet, I really have a lot of things here that need to be cleaned up here and have no idea how to start fresh down there. It is a scary prospect, but I do want to be closer to my family. I also do not want to take Nathan away from Frank, and do not want to take him away from his Grandpa who just loves him to pieces and pieces... I mean, Nathan cuddles with Grandpa, and he hardly lets MOMMY cuddle with him... How can I deny him that? Choices choices...
1:13 PM 
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007 

Current mood:  contemplative

Watching a son grow is like---
watching an oak tree grow from a tiny acorn.
You have no way to predict how the winds of time will affect each stage of growth...
All you have is the hope and love you feel with you look into his sweet, trusting face...
You nurture him and guide him along until it's time to let go, and you watch as day by day, branch by branch, He grows up to be a mighty oak with courage, wisdom and strength all of his own.

© L. Vaskuil-Duter

1:40 PM 
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Tuesday, September 05, 2006 

Current mood:  indescribable

NATHAN JAMES VINCK HAS ARRIVED
BORN 8-29-2006
2:44 AM
7 POUNDS 10 OUNCES
21.5 INCHES LONG

At 6:52 AM on August 28th I woke to a leg cramp... and my water breaking... OMG!!! FRANK!!! I called the DR, our Mom's and my Aunt... and on the way we went... We got to the hospital and they ran some tests and sure enough my water had broken... (DUH!!! LOL but I guess they had to be sure...)I was hooked up to an IV and given Pitosin to speed things up... when they checked me I was at 3cm and feeling fine... then about 2-2.5 hours later I was at 4/5cm.... then at 6cm then STUCK there for 4-5 hours... I had a mini nerveous break down... In went the epidural... THANK GOD... then they tripled the dose of Pitosin and up to 8/9cm I went... only to be stuck there for what seems like FOREVER... Remember when I said my water broke at almost 7:00 AM?... Well it was now 2:00 AM and they made the decision to give me a c-section. Frank sat by me the whole time holding my hand and staring into my glazed over eyes... I was shivering and shaking the whole time and DRY as a bone... When the baby was out and cleaned up Frank let go of me and ran to take photos... one of the nurses took pictures of Frank holding Nathan proudly... In recovery Nathan latched on and began breast feedling like a CHAMP... one would think he had done it before!!!! I think at this point in his life I have heard him REALLY cry only three times and once was at the DR and once when he was snipped... We really are blessed with this bundle of Joy!!!

11:34 PM 
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006 

Current mood:  nauseated

I had my first internal exam... I am 50% effaced... which means my cervix is thinning out and preparing for labor... Dr also said that the baby's head is in place and he is "WAY down there"... I was like DUH!!   I was sick all day on Sunday before and after my shower but I have felt ill for a while before that... I just have not felt like me and all I want to do lately is SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP... 

Two weeks ago I asked my DR about maternity leave and told her I was thinking of the 1st of August... she laughed and said no, what are you going to do for money if the baby doesn't come for another six weeks???  Yestereday she asked me why I was still working... LOL!!!

 I have been telling my DR since day one that he would be here early and she just laughs at me... I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW... ALL moms to be want their babies to come out already etc etc... But the timing has never made sense to me... So it won't be that long now... I will keep you all posted...

Peace,

Kari n Nathan

12:32 PM 
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006 

Current mood:  grateful

My baby shower was a success... I am such an emotional wreck that I ended up crying thru most of it... LOL I was SOOOO overwhelmed with all the attention and the pile of gifts... It felt really great to see some of my oldest friends... and to have their support... Kind of put things into perspective for me...

A special THANK YOU to Joe and Laura, Annette, Connie and Momma B for the gifts and the support... I cannot even tell you how much it all means to me!! I just don't have the words.

Peace,
Kari, Frank and Nathan

12:22 PM 
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