16 March 2007

I want you to dip your pen
Into my inkwell until it runs dry
I want to kneel in front of you
Acquiesce to your regal presence
And swallow the tip of your mighty sword to the hilt

I want you to make me sing songs I've never heard
Speak in languages with no words
And let me serve in your kingdom of enlightenment

I wanna walk in your shadow spreading light on your path
Speak on your behalf
When your voice is shaking with determinant wrath
Tell truth to the lies that have quieted your ambition to rise
Against the pain that weighs upon your burdened soul

I want to listen to you scream in silence
Find in you that which hides in the epitome of mankind
fight with you against the tyranny of our ego's hold
on the essence of what we must become to obtain
that which is rightfully ours  

I wonder if you can fully comprehend that we are sacred beings
But the union between we
Yes you and me
Is that which confuses the most knowledgeable scholars
But answers all the questions that troubled our forefathers

See what we are is by far
More complicated than any math equation
But as simple as elementary arithmetic

The conundrum that makes us one
Is a paradox that seems to fit better than any puzzle piece
And we exist on a plane that has no dimensions
Knows no boundaries
Breaks all the rules

I'm not tryin' to trap you
Combat you
Or even keep you as mine

I need you to be as free as the bird who sings
in the tallest tree
So when you do alight upon me
It will be your choice
 
See what really worries you about me
Is not that I might want you to stay
but that I might not want you to return
and I'm not gonna make any promises to the contrary
 
but what I will tell you
is that with me
you will find the courage to be
everything the universe intended
but only she could see

Too often when we are in the position to help someone, especially for an extended priod of time, we tend to feel superior to the person we are helping.  Maybe we have forgotten how much courage it takes to ask for or even accept help.  Maybe we don'e realize how hard the person who is getting the help is actually working to not only try and get to the point where they no longer need our help, but also to work on not making the acceptance of help a burden on the helper.

The fact of the matter is that Allah is the only one who controls all the things.  It is Him and Him alone who has given us the resources to be able to be able to help someone whether it be financially, morally, physically, emotionally, mentally, or whatever.  As the "helper" we may have certain rights over the "helpee", but it would behoove us to respect the person we are helping and try our hardest not to make them feel as if helping them is the worst thing we could ever endure.  Though it may become harder than we thought to help someone, Allah sees how hard it is and he will help us.

There was a time in which I felt in a position to help you and I may have been arrogant and cruel.  I may have acted as though, just because Allah gave me the ability to help you that I was somehos superior in all things.  I may have spoken down to you, treated you as if you were a pariah, or behaved in a manner that made you feel asa if you were a burden and for that I deeply apologize.  If I gave you advice in a belittling way I ask for your forgiveness.  If I made you feel like you were less of a person because you were getting help from me, then I beg your forgiveness.  If I shunned you or ignored you or made you feel like any less than a special person in my heart, then for that I beg your forgiveness.

I thank you for giving me the oportunity to help you.  To learn from you.  To grow from the experience of sharing my life with you.  And if I treated you as any less than a gift from Allah please know that I am sorry for my actions.

I pray that you iwll find it in your heart to forgive me.  I also pray that if I am guilty of doing any of these things to you when I was in the position to help you, that when you are in the position to help someone, you do not treat them with the lack of respect that I treated you.

Again I sincerely apologize for an unsavory ways that I spoke or behaved that may have hurt, belittled, or offended you in any way.

May Allah have mercy on us.  May He make us aware of ourselves and our actions and may He give us the strength to act on the goodness we know and fight the evil we learn.

Thank you for your time and patience

Sincerely,

Qamara "Peaches=)" Muhammad

Sooooo, I wrote this to a friend of mine who's voice just....well it makes me......well it inspires me and soothes me and makes me feel safe....if that makes sense. Whatever, I soooooooo do NOT have feelings for this guy....I mean of course I have feelings for him, he was totally there for me and whatnot and he IS tall.....and handsome....and charming as all hell.....so maybe I have a harmless, friendly crush, but there are just some fundamental things that stop me from having REAL feelings for him ya know?  That's not even the point, I just need to know if this email has given him the wrong impression....fellas, I need to know what you would think if you received this email from a female who was kind of more than a friend but not really...if that makes sense.

The melodic timber of your voice soothes me and allows me to ease the discomfort of my faltering soul. Every negative feeling ceases to inhabit my being when your sultry tenor reverberates on my eardrum. Though a distant second to your euphoric embrace, the auditory perception of your vocal apparatus renders all other sounds cacophonous noise.  

Most people leave "messages" on their voicemail, "Hey it's so-and-so, leave me a message and I'll get back to you..."  I used to love creating really personalized ones for my callers. Sometimes they were long (go figure), sometimes they were funny.  One time my sister left this one that confused the hell outta people..."Hello?......I'm sorry I can't hear you could you speak up please.......I'm sorry I am having a lot of trouble hearing you, who is this and who do you want to speak to?.........I'm sorry I still can't hear you, well maybe that's because no one is home and you are talking to a voice mail so if you'd........."  My mom made her change it but it was hilarious, even when I got caught by it.  I was sitting at a stop light screaming my head off thinking my sister just couldn't hear me because of a bad connection.  I was actually yelling so loudly that when she finally said the last part about me speaking to the voicemail, I didn't hear her so I just kept right on yelling until I heard the beep, and even then I was still all kinds of confused for a few seconds.  It was great.  The people in the cars next to me were terribly frightened.  Good Times though…

I had gotten into the habit of refreshing my voicemail message with a quote every month.  You know one that people could reflect on and whatnot.  I started out with my favorite quote, "Use the talents you possess; for the woods would be very silent if no birds sand except the best".  My monthly quotes became quite popular, so popular in fact that if people called me at the beginning of a new month and I happened to pick up, they would get disappointed and actually tell me that they were just calling to hear the quote of the month.  I didn't know whether to be flattered or offended by that.

The voicemail messages that the callee (yes this is a made up word but I think you know that when I say "callee", it is just the short way of saying "the person being called" or "the call recipient") leaves the caller was initially just a way to let callers know that you weren't in and that you'd get back to the caller as soon as possible; but the voice mail message that the callee leaves the caller has come to be used as so much more.  Sometimes the voicemail message is used as an extended absence greeting.  And sometimes it is used for an inspirational motivator (that's what a couple of people started calling my monthly quote messages), but it can also be used just so that the caller can hear the callee's voice. Bear with me if you will…….I mean sometimes you (as the caller) really don't have a reason to call someone (the potential callee), you just want to hear their voice because it makes you feel better. Now I know you, being a logical male are just thinking, "Why don't you just call the person and say, 'hey, I don't have any reason for calling you I just wanted to hear your voice.....'"  But that can get old because you never really know what a person is doing and if you interrupt them and they are in the middle of something then you feel badly all day because you called just to hear that person's voice and it was bad timing for them so disrupting them ruins the good mood that hearing their voice has put you in anyway, so next time you really want to hear their voice, you sit around thinking of a reason to call that person which wastes a whole lotta time because the reason you come up with to call the person is very obviously just a ploy to hear the person's voice and they know it, and you know that they know it, and they know that you know that they know, so it can become a big mess AND it can send the person the wrong message.  Sometimes you really just want to hear someone's voice just cause.....and there are no romantic motives or feelings behind it, there is just something about that person's voice.

With all the new fangled technology out there now, communication has become easier in some ways and harder in others.  The one thing that disappoints me the most is that whole automated voice message system.  I hate calling a person and hearing that damn female automated voice saying, "You have reached the Sprint PCS voice mailbox of 3-1-3-7-7-9-*-*-*-*, to leave a voice message press "1" or just wait for the tone. To leave a numeric page press....."  That totally ruins all the great reasons for the callee to have left a voice message for the caller(s).  That automated heifer is not witty, she doesn't sound sexy or cute, nor is she funny or inspirational and her "voice" certainly doesn't soothe a thing.  Honestly that automated voice message crap is the biggest downfall of communication technology and we should all do our part to boycott that heifer and her annoying automated messages, dontcha think?  

The melodic timber of your voice soothes me and allows me to ease the discomfort of my faltering soul. Every negative feeling ceases to inhabit my being when your sultry tenor reverberates on my eardrum. Though a distant second to your euphoric embrace, the auditory perception of your vocal apparatus renders all other sounds cacophonous noise.

 But I am not the only person who thinks that so I am sure you hear that a lot…