Join supermodel Helena Christensen in person, tonight at 9pm, for a screening of ALLEGRO, a beautiful and heartbreaking drama with a science fiction twist, in which Ms. Christensen stars.

Christoffer Boe, the director of the Cannes Camera d'Or-winner RECONSTRUCTION, returns with the critically acclaimed ALLEGRO, an existential love story with a science fiction twist. A famous Danish pianist named Zetterstrom (Ulrich Thomsen, THE CELEBRATION) returns after many years to Copenhagen to perform at a gala concert, only to find that the memory of a tragic love affair with a beautiful woman (model and actress Helena Christensen) has come back to haunt him - and Copenhagen itself, where the neighborhood he had formerly lived and loved in is now cut off from the outside world by an invisible wall. ALLEGRO is the story of Zetterstrom's quest to enter the forbidden "Zone" and unlock the mystery of his memories, his love, and his life. A fascinating visual tribute to love in a rapturously photographed Denmark, ALLEGRO is filled with haunting dialogue, lyrical visual effects, and an evocative score by Thomas Knak.

Tickets are $10.
Tickets available here, or at the door from 6:30pm on.

ALL NIGHT CINEMATIC SEANCE OF WITCH AND WARLOCK MOVIES

The Pioneer's annual horror all-nighter takes place this weekend, on Saturday, October 28. 

http://www.twoboots.com/pioneer/index.html#Seance

We summon all the spirits of the dark and forgotten worlds for this all night seance of movies featuring witches and warlocks. For only $25, you can get over ten hours of evil movies, as well as accompanying audio incantations poured into our darkened  theater.

Dress in costume - prizes for best witch costume, best warlock costume, best incantation.

Free popcorn for anyone who actually summons a demon.

Please note: in the middle of the all-nighter, we will call upon the underworld to change time back one hour, as daylight savings time ends. All the showtimes listed here correspond to the daylight savings times as if no time change occurred.

October 28

9pm
THE SEANCE (directed by Arun Vaidyanathan)

9:20pm
WITCHCRAFT THROUGH THE AGES (1968 version)
featuring narration by William S. Burroughs

An terrifying assault on the eyes, Benjamin Christensen's 1922 documentary is a landmark film of witchery, possession, and sadism. Originally released under the Swedish title HAXAN, this eerie, unusual film experience uses seven chapters to illustrate a history of myths and beliefs regarding the occult. The film uses animation, creature effects, nightmarish sets, reenactments of satanic rituals and intense sexual imagery to weave a tale that ranges from being darkly humorous to severely disturbing.

The print we will show runs 77 minutes. Voice over narration by William S. Burroughs and a score by Jean-Luc Ponty in this cut only strengthened the film's status as a cult classic. [synopsis adapted from RottenTomatoes.com]
(dir. Benjamin Christensen, 77 mins, 1922 / 1968)


11pm
NIGHT OF THE DEMON (directed by Jacques Tourneur)

Dr. Holden (Dana Andrew), a psychologist knowledgeable about the occult, is dismayed by a friend's strange death, leading him to investigate a demon-worshipping cult in England. But the leader of that sect, Prof. Karswell (Niall MacGuinness), resists Holden's inquiries by calling up an actual demon to fight the good doctor. Can Holden hold his own in a battle of good vs. evil?

Based on the M.R. James short story "Casting the Runes," the film is considered to be one of the true classics of the horror genre, relying heavily on the power of suggestion to create a heavy atmosphere of fear and dread. The famous, much-debated monster was added by the studio against Tourneur's wishes. This original, uncut version is known as NIGHT OF THE DEMON. [synopsis adapted from RottenTomatoes.com]
(dir. Jacques Tourneur, 95 mins, 1957)


1am
BELL, BOOK, AND CANDLE (starring Kim Novak and Jimmy Stewart)

A great cast in a supernatural romantic comedy. When urban witch Kim Novak casts a spell on Jimmy Stewart to lure him away from a snooty former schoolmate, she finds the spell rebounding due to the intercession of a more powerful witch (Hermione Gingold). Lemmon and comic genius Ernice Kovacs add lots of laughs. [synopsis adapted from RottenTomatoes.com]
(dir. Richard Quine, 106 mins, 1958)


3:15am
THE WITCHMAKER

THE WITCHMAKER - From the people that brought you A BOY AND HIS DOG and BROTHERHOOD OF SATAN comes this obscure Witchcraft shocker. A paranormal researcher takes a group of people deep into bayou country which also happens to be the setting for several ritualistic murders.
(dir. William O. Brown, 97 mins, 1969)


5:15am
THE HAUNTED PALACE

Vincent Price turns in a fine performance as a refined heir to a haunted castle who is transformed into a murderous mutant enslaved to carry out the depraved revenge plot of a warlock burned at the stake one hundred years earlier. Based on "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward," by H.P. Lovecraft.
(dir. Roger C orman, 87 mins, 1963)

Also: a number of audio incantations of the dark and underworld, played through the theater sound system to a darkened theater.

Please note: we will not screen SIMON: KING OF THE WITCHES.

SECRET DIRECTOR, JEFFREY MAX:
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM

Friday, August 25, 2006
11:00 PM

WELL, what can I say about this? Not too much. This show was being billed as something I'm putting together with fatalfarm.com, but that's not very true. I mean, feel free to go to that website because some of that is me and some of my work is up there, but it's not what this show is going to be.

If you want to know what's up, come to my show, friends. I'll probably embarrass myself. Who doesn't like watching other people be failures? Come laugh at my misery! Or don't. I don't care. I guess if you want to come to this, send me a message, and I'll let you in for free. I don't think anyone reads these posts anyway. I can't really use this particular post as a litmus test since I'm essentially offering FREE GARBAGE, but you know there are people who hand you flyers and shit on the street, and sometimes you take those, right? I do, sometimes.

LATER SUCKERS,
Jeffrey

BAD ATTITUDES: FUCK YOU, FUCK ME
or
MOVIES ABOUT TRANSPORTATION (JUST TWO THOUGH)

TAXI DRIVER (1976)
Friday, August 11, 2006 - 11:00 PM
Friday, August 18, 2006 - 11:00 PM

Well, this is a classic New York movie, and now's your chance to see it in a movie theater, fucker. Man, I wonder what Travis Bickle would think of New York now. Maybe he'd like it? Maybe he'd go to Madame Tussaud's with me? Or maybe we could go to the Meatpacking District and get a drink at the Gansevoort? He'd probably be a little less crazy, right? I mean that's what he was complaining about the whole movie. He just wanted some Guiliani-style gentrification I think. Or maybe not? Maybe he was just really weird and creepy. Oh my god, do you remember when he takes Betsy to the porno theater on their first date. GOOD THINKING, DUDE. Actually, that scene is really sad because he thinks it's normal. Oh uh, spoiler alert? Did I spoil anything? Whatever. You should probably just see Taxi Driver, you fuckers, you screwheads. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. And then I can finally go get a facial at Bliss Spa. HEYYYY!

EASY RIDER (1969)
Saturday, August 19, 2006 - 10:45 PM

In film school, they always show you the drugged out scene and pretend like it's an important moment in American cinema and not some self-indulgent, actual drug-induced fuck-around featuring Dennis H. and Peter F. Yeah right. Nice try. I mean, I guess it's sort of fun to watch once or twice, but it's probably for the better that any pothead with a camera can't just go shoot himself dicking around on drugs at a graveyard. Oh wait. I forgot that now we have YouTube. Never mind. Anyway, congratulations to Dennis Hopper for being way ahead of his time. Maybe I'm being a little harsh, unfair even. I mean, Easy Rider is a little better than some of the stuff on YouTube. Sort of. I guess. In any case, Dennis, if you Googled your name and are reading this, I REALLY like your performance in Blue Velvet. Hey, Ray, can we show Blue Velvet here sometime? Aren't you a big Lynch fan? My favorite part is all the times he says 'fucker' and also the way he says it. Also, what about this? Take a look at some pics of the young Dennis Hopper, and try and tell me that he doesn't look like Owen Wilson with a regular nose. I don't know, man. I don't know. Pretty fucking spooky, man.

Better see these movies, you house-ass. Send me a message if you want discounted admission. And how about this? Radio show-style. The tenth person to send me a message gets in to Taxi Driver or Easy Rider FOR FREE. YOU CHOOSE! Don't fuck it up. Don't do that.

Always and Forever,
Jeffrey
Projectionist

Carla Bennet pulled me aside the other day and asked why she hasn't been interviewed yet, and I didn't have a good answer for her so we scheduled an interview right there. Carla is a college student, and as we all know, is the object of Nick Navarlos' desires. I'm sure he'll print this out and sleep with it for a week. Just kidding, Nick.

Jeffrey
Editor-in-Chief
Projectionist

Get to Know the Pioneer
Issue 8

Interview with Pioneer Counter Attendant Carla Bennet
---------------------------------------------------------------
GtKtP: Hi, Carla, you were kind of in my face about this interview.
CB: Yeah, well, that's right. Interview me already.
GtKtP: Well, a lot of people work here.
CB: I don't care.
GtKtP: Geez. You asked for it. So, what's going on with you and Nick?
CB: There's nothing going on with me and Nick. He never talks to me.
GtKtP: You know he likes you though, right? You saw that poem I found, right?
CB: Yeah, but I bet you made that up. I'm not going to fall for your stupid trick.
GtKtP: Are you serious? I have the napkin at home. I'll bring it in and show it to you.
CB: You could have made it yourself.
GtKtP: Why would I do that?
CB: To trick me!
GtKtP: I don't know how I'm getting this reputation around here. Well, anyway, you can believe me if you want to, or don't. But maybe talk to Nick sometime.
CB: Nick's a nice guy, but I don't think I want to pursue anything.
GtKtP: Harsh. He's not going to like reading that.
CB: This is a terrible interview. You're not even asking me anything.
GtKtP: What do you want me to ask you?
CB: Oh my god, you're the interviewer. You're supposed to have questions! Like on a blue card or something! Don't you watch talk shows!
GtKtP: No.
CB: Yeah, no kidding you don't.
GtKtP: Okay, first question.
CB: I'm out of here. So lame.

Wonderful!

See some movies. See them here.

We love you at the Pioneer.

Do you ever wonder who designs movie theater tickets? No? You're probably like every other a-hole on earth and just think that a computer spits them out, and that's it. WRONG. Tickets, all tickets, movie tickets, concert tickets, sports tickets, are designed by someone. Here at the Pioneer, our tickets are designed by retired industry mainstay, Ursula Hinden. We sat down with her to find out more about her career, and why she agreed to work for the Pioneer even though she's technically retired. INTERESTING.

Thanks Homies,
Jeffrey
Editor-in-Chief
Projectionist

Get to Know the Pioneer
Issue 7

Interview with Pioneer Ticket Designer Ursula Hinden
------------------------------------------------------------
GtKtP: Hello, Ursula.
UH: Hello.
GtKtP: Would you like to tell us a little bit about your career?
UH: Sure. What about it?
GtKtP: Well tell us what you did.
UH: I was a ticket designer for twenty-eight years. I started designing tickets for plays and talent shows at summer camps. I progressed, and started getting real concerts. I got my big break on the Beck Odelay tour tickets and press badges. I started getting high profile artists like Madonna, Prince, and Brooks & Dunn. I did the Tour de France passes, and the '96 Olympics. At my peak, I was getting $400,000 to design Super Bowl XXVII tickets. It was out of control.
GtKtP: Wow. Most people don't even know this industry exists. What would you say to them?
UH: Well, I don't know what to say other than it's hard to get big. But if you do, you've got it made. There are maybe six or seven ticket designers out there who are getting the big salaries. The rest are working for Loew's, AMC, Ticketmaster. It's highly competitive. I was lucky to a degree. Right time. Right place.
GtKtP: Why'd you give it up?
UH: It wasn't real anymore. At a certain level, people just want to be around you because of who you are and how much money you make. They think they can latch on and fake a friendship. You don't know who your real friends are. You can't trust anyone. I had to walk away. I made a lot of money, and I just don't need the trouble anymore.
GtKtP: But you design our tickets.
UH: Yeah, but it's different here. I just do it because I miss it, and it's not demanding here. I can do my work, and there isn't all the pressure. I'm officially retired, but I do this on the side so that I don't ever lose my skill.
GtKtP: Do you ever think about going back?
UH: Oh yeah, you know I do. It's tempting. All that money. The lifestyle. I snorted lines off Michael Irvin's thighs and drank Moet White Star out of his belly button the night before the Cowboys destroyed the Bills 52 - 17. I did a lot of things that night. I probably shouldn't be talking about it. But yeah, sometimes I want to go back. Man, Michael Irvin can work a girl. You know what I'm saying?
GtKtP: Uhh, yeah I think I do.
UH: No joke.
GtKtP: Well, on that note, I guess I'll talk to you later.
UH: Huh? Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay bye.

GOSSIP CORNER
-------------------
We don't normally like to embarrass our employees here, but this was too good to resist. I found a poem by Nick Navarlos to Carla Bennet written on a napkin. I don't know if he ever gave it to her, but she'll probably see it now. Sorry, Nick! Do a better job of throwing your trash away, man!

Carla is a Flower Petal
by Nick Navarlos

Carla, do you know
What you are?
To me, you are a
Flower petal,
Too beautiful,
Delicate, and fresh.
Enlarge.
I would pour milk
On your sensuous body.
Girl, that is the truth.
It would glisten, girl.
Give it to me.


How romantic. Okay, that's all. See some movies. See them here.

WE LOVE YOU
AT THE PIONEER

It's summer, and in NYC, that means interns. All you New Yorkers know what I'm talking about. All these kids from Alabama and Colorado and Florida and other states all show up here in the big apple ready to prove how hard-working they are! Well we've got a couple interns hanging around, and we thought we'd see what this one guy was all about. Meet Michael Theodore Wallingsworth, and try not to judge too much, you know? He's not from around here, and it's his first day on the job.

Yeah,
Jeffrey
Editor-in-Chief
Projectionist

Get to Know the Pioneer
Issue 6

Interview with Pioneer Intern Michael Theodore Wallingsworth
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

GtKtP: Where are you from, kid?
MTW: I'm from San Francisco.
GtKtP: And where do you go to school?
MTW: UCLA.
GtKtP: And you came out to NYC for an internship?
MTW: Yes, I did. I want to be prepared for after graduation.
GtKtP: So you're interning at a weird, one-screen, half trash, half art-house movie theater in Manhattan?
MTW: I thought this was a film company or something. Didn't someone say something about filming or something. Or film? I don't know. I thought there would be celebrities.
GtKtP: Dude.
MTW: This is a movie theater?
GtKtP: Dude, I'm interviewing you in front of a movie screen, and we're in movie theater seats, and I'm eating popcorn right now.
MTW: I don't know. I thought this was a set. Is this a joke? Did Trevor tell you to do this? Trev! You fucker, I know you're here somewhere. You can't punk me. I got you at Smash Bash '06, bro, you'll never get me. I know it's you.
GtKtP: Who is Trevor?
MTW: Yeah, okay, man. Who's Trevor? Yeah, ha ha, good job. Realistic movie theater. Yeah right. Where's Natalie Portman and Nathan Lane?
GtKtP: Nathan Lane? What? Those are the two celebrities you're expecting on a movie lot?
MTW: Bro, come on. Where's Trevor? Where's Michael J. Fox? I know what's going on.
GtKtP: Luiz Guzman comes around every once in a while, but this is a real movie theater. It's not a joke by your friend Trevor.
MTW: I know he told you to say that. I know it. Joke's over.
(long pause)
GtKtP: Oh, man, you're good. You figured it out. You got us, Michael. Fuckin' Trevor. That guy. He'll never be as good as you.
MTW: That's right.
GtKtP: Well, I guess you can go.
MTW: Sweet. Tell Trevor I'll nut in his soup.
GtKtP: What?
(Michael "peaces out.")
GtKtP: Nut in his soup?


That's it for now. See some movies. See them here. Don't nut in anyone's soup please. Thank you.

WE LOVE YOU
AT THE PIONEER

WHOA, GIRLS it's SHOWGIRLS!

How many women have seen Showgirls? I know there are some fellows who have seen this movie, but ladies? This movie is so trashy and funny. It's one big joke. Everything about it is a joke. Girls, you need to see this movie. One time some TV network aired Showgirls, and they drew in this terrible looking fake bra over her boobs. It was so funny. We're showing it uncensored so you get to see all the titties and ass-smacking, and all the stuff renowned pervert of Hollywood Paul Verhoven wants you to see.

Ladies, mention this mySpace blog post and get discounted admission. BITCHES TO THA FRONT. BITCHES TO THA BACK. BITCHES ALL AROUND BITCHES SMACK SMACK SMACK. I don't know what that means, but it's okay. You know what, anyone can just come and mention this mySpace blog and get discounted admission. That's how we roll: GENEROUS.

SHOWGIRLS
FRIDAY, June 23, 2006 - 11:00 PM
FRIDAY, June 30, 2006 - 11:00 PM

Speaking of bitches, oh my GOD, have you seen Carrie? They make fun of her period, and she freaks out, and there's blood everywhere. It's pretty funny to make fun of someone's period. Because let's face it. Periods are funny. It's like a big practical joke. A big gross, bloody, practical joke about uterus lining.

Mention this blog and get discounted admission, foolz. And if you bring Brian DePalma as your date, you get in free. Get on it.

CARRIE
SATURDAY, June 24, 2006 - 11:00 PM

See these movies. See them here. Do you feel it? I feel it.

LATERRRRRRRRRRRRRR,
Jeffrey