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✿Mommy & Mrs. Diedrich✿

Beth Diedrich


Last Updated: 10/25/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 22
Sign: Leo

State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/9/2005

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Pretty N Pink ♥
Moved to myspace.com/dejavuchicks

Blog Archive
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October 25, 2009 - Sunday 
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=325193&id=668655547&l=30eca8d01a

that is a link to my new photo album on Facebook :) Enjoy & Convert to Facebook!
9:40 PM 
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October 22, 2009 - Thursday 
so i never use my myspace anymore, i've converted to being a Facebook user. Alot of people i used to talk to on here either havn't found me on Facebook or don't yet have account. Either way..you and you should find me!! I post my new pics and blog/notes to facebook also. So your left in the dust :D

otherwise all is good concidering. It's been nearly 2 months down since he left. Emma turns  in less then a month. Life is good..and deployment still sucks!!


MY FACEBOOK!! ADD ME!!! DO IT!!
9:51 PM 
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September 23, 2009 - Wednesday 
wow 2 more days and it's 2 weeks into this..no quite sure how i feel about it. I know i'm doing pretty good tho :) Don't really cry much..exsept for yesterday watching one of those shows about having babys and they started talking about wanting more kids and there reasons why- she was talking straight from my heart and sure enuf i cryed about. *sigh* But- i know my time will come ♥ This year is gunna suck yes, next year when he comes hom it'll be right before the fall holidays again this time i probly will be pregnant and i'll be ontop of the world!! Can't beat that. ♥

FINALLY got Patrick's address, so now i can send him packages and all that fun stuff. He'll be moving to his final place soon and getting into a routine - been looking forward to that. So we know what to expect a lil more, like calling time and being able to talk over the computer. I've always thought R&R was a horriable idea that it was more pain then it was worth it ya know 2 weeks then having to say goodbye again for what feels like another million years. I kinda want Patrick to take his at 6 months or after. So, when it's over with we are over hlaf way done.  But the idea of R&R is deff growing on me.. still got over 5-6 months to go.

His call last night- he was super sick i guess [why he didn't call the previous day] they had him in the tent and didn't want him leaving. He had a fever of 102 and wasn't going down w/ meds. My poor honeypie..wish i was able to take care of him. He said most of the guys are catching it, he says they got them like 60 guys living in a tent so germs spread ya know. [yucky].

The bank stuff is pretty much resolved..i need to get the paper work filled out and faxed back in but my printer decided to run out of black ink. So i need to get over a Fedex.

Got Emm's got her eye appt next week...i hope they are good with Emma  and agree and stay on tract w/ her previous doctor. We'll see.

Less then two months til Emm's Birthday <3 I only have like 2 friends out here and they live an hours away. So think her birthday will just be at the house...again we'll see. I know her theme will probly be Yo Gabba Gabba!! <- her favy show ever! minus Spongebob.
4:02 PM 
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September 13, 2009 - Sunday 
Last night at midnight i got a call from my lover, he's now is kwuait. The morning he left he woke up with what he thought was just a sore throat from his throat being dry..but i guess now he's all sick. Sore throat, congested. O' my pooor honeypie. I freaking love him. Then this morning i was also woken up with a phone call..it's kinda nice cause he is 10 hours ahead so morning for him is night for me and the other way around. That will make phone calls nice :) So he's going to bed right now [sweet dreams my love xoxo - hope you feel better].

It's no fun thats he's not here, but his phone calls do have that soothing effect which makes it semi- tolerable. The 2 days so far have gone by fairly quickly. 

4:36 PM 
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September 12, 2009 - Saturday 
I'm still pretty rocky...doesn't take much to bring on the tears. Not good w/ phone calls yet either, i'm glad family is calling to see how i am but..everytime i'm asked it makes me cry. I feel better then yesteday but my heart still feels sick.

Got two short calls already. [lay over calls] He should be in Kwuait by tonight, so maybe tomarrow once things sorta settle in he'll be able to make a run for the phones. Phone calls = <3 <3 <3

My Hero ♥
8:56 PM 
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September 12, 2009 - Saturday 
Just got back home from saying goodbye to my lover. I can honestly say this is the worst week my 22 years has thrown at me. Despite- i'm not crying right now. So thats a plus. Saying goodbye was super hard..i totally cryed my eyes i won't even lie.I told him how much i love him, how much he means to Emm & I..and we will be here waiting for him when he gets home. I left before i busses got there only by 15 mins but when the buses show and they start laoding up it's a HUGE cry fest and i just didn't wanna do that. So he brought me to the truck we said our goodbyes and i let him go :(

One of the guys ready to go, went into a full seizure. He was a Sgt, it was super scary everyone was yelling and running around. He came to pretty quickly but was couldn't respond to compands like he was told me squeeze the medics hand and was unable. Happened just a few feet from us. I hope/pray he's ok.. altho all the guys were kinda like "Lucky bastard"- of coarse he's not deploying today anymore.

I'm glad it finally over with now i can concentrate on getting some routine down something to fill my days with. Concentrate on paying off things, truck, Credit card [which will be easy as heck now since the deployment rate is kicked in!- LOVE THAT!!] Pay off our darn couch, then theres Braces...The truck needs work too- it actually need a new serpentine belt- haha! Should probly get that done ASAP!!!!! Cause DAMN that would suck. It's not bad but last oil change they said by the next one we should get a new one. I wanna get a new bedroom set before he gets home :) I want a 6 piece set, GOTTA have the vanity dresser!! [Doesn't EVERY women want a vanity dresser with the big mirrow]- well i do.

The miscarraige we had this week really did it in. I am upset about it, but i knew something was wrong from the moment i found out. Not to mention i only knew i was preggo for a few days. I will always love that baby, and yes to me it is my baby. But it wasn't meant to be, BUT now Patrick has a lil angel to watch over him during his deployment and thro the rest of our lifes. We will try again when he gets home <3 It's alright that Emm will be nearly 4 she'll be an AWESOME big sister and be able to help out alot and understand..even take sibblign classes. [the actual thing tho- completly tramatizing, i won't share the details ..Patrick & I were both in tears] God has a reason for everything..not ready to thank him for unanswered prayers but i'm sure theres a reason.

Despite the deployment i need to remember that Patrick is still my husband and we love each other so very much. It's a lil cliche, but we are among the lucky ones to have found our soul mates. Patrick is the reason for all my happiness, he's given me the world. I would NEVER even dream of hurting him/being unfaithful..i HATE being away from him [even when he just goes to work] why would i make it permenant and i know without a question he would never hurt me. Yeah this deployment isn't fun and it's along time..really everything is ok. <- gotta dig that up on my bad days! He will call, we will webcam..Emma will too. Pics & Packages & Mail <3 <3 He'll never for a moment feel unthought of. I got lots of ideas for Christmas already. Life is good despite the Deployment.

Emm is currently crawling backwards?!- werido. haha


P.S. I do most my blogging on Facebook now. [i don't like to publish them so most of them you'll have to go to my notes]
8:55 PM 
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September 9, 2009 - Wednesday 
qWell, this afternoon  around 3pm i had went pee and wiped to see brown old blood. Not alot but i was concerneed so i went into the E.R.

At the E.R. i had my blood dawn, now OMMGG that was the WORST blood daw i have EVER had in my life. They stabbed both arms..fished in each for 5 mins. Finally the 3rd person got my vain. So i a bruised from wrist to shoulder i swear.  The last guy did get my vain but he did something wrong cause his pants some how got squirted with a TON of my blood his nurse scubs were covered. Also a good apple sized puddle on the floor.
also, i had an Pelvic [cervix closed w/ tiny bit of blood]

After that the rolled me to Ultrasound, after 30 mins of searching they found no gestination sack. ..Now i am supposed to be 6 weeks preggo..they should be one there and even a heart beat. There was nothing.

My HCG levels came back and they are @ 400. Thats NOTHING.

After the first ultrasound they told me three things 1. it's an eptopic pregnancy [they couldn't get a good shot of my tubes] 2. I am currently miscarring 3. pregnancy is soo early nothing is showing up.

Going off my period and the fact my levels are only 400..i should have NOT been able to make a home pregnancy test say positive 3 days ago with my levels being 400 if the pregnancy is "Just to early".

Since they were concerned it maybe Eptopic [those can be life threatening and leave scars in your tubes] they had OB's come in to do ANOTHER ultrasound & pelvic..same thing. [cervix still closed with a lil blood]

They kinda ruled out Eptopic, they said it's either failing right now and i'm about to exspell my pregnancy or it's too early and nothing is showing up.

I will have my blood dawn in two days to have my levels checked. Up, means the pregnancy is in still there. Down means i am miscarring and since my body isn't espelling it fully i will require a D&C <- look it up. NOT COOL!!


I know for FACT i am not preggo. Levels only being 400, 4 days ago i should have NOT AT ALL be able to make that preggo test be positive.

I am having a miscarriage and Patrick deploys in a matter of hours.  Awesome huh?! I need a break from life. SERIOSULY. I can hardly open my eyes because of all the crying i have been doing.

Even tho this is happening i am glad it's this early on and i got the news BEFORE he left. At least i know i can get preggo and i can look forward to getting preggo again when he gets home and at least then he won't miss a thing. I'm doing surprisingly well, really i am. Yeah i cryed my eyes out, but i KNEW something was wrong i KNOW my body and how is acts. 

I've been shaking SOOOO freaking bad since my blood started getting dawn. By my last pelvic i was completly unable to control the shaking. Right now i have light cramping and i'm just emotionally and phyiscally EXHAUSTED!!!

I just know for this to happen and what had happend w/ Emm's pregnancy i have SO FREAKING BLESSED to have Emma. I almost lost her everyday til 23 weeks. She's my miracle.

Things suck, but my husband loves me more then anything and i have a beautiful daughter who loves me O' so much too. Yeah some bad things are happening-but i still have them and they are my life.
5:54 AM 
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September 8, 2009 - Tuesday 
I AM COMPLETELY CONVINCED SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!!!!!

I DO NOT FEEL PREGNANT AT ALL!!!!!!!!

not even the littlest bit, no swore boobs, no morning sickness..not realy tired. NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DO NOT WANNA WAIT 4 MORE FREAKING WEEKS TO KNOW IF EVERYTHING IS OK!!!!!! I WANNA KNOW NOW!!!!


AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

-yes all caps needed cause thats how i feel. Like i just need to yell that.
7:24 PM 
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September 7, 2009 - Monday 

Current mood:losing my mind.
i really in no way feel pregnant. My boobs get sensations everyonce in awhile, but they are not swore. I can touch them just fine without ANY pain. I feel fine, so sickness no nothing. I suppose i could sit and over analyse every feeling i get but i think it would all be placebo affect. Like if you sit and think about having a headache you'll get one. It's upsetting honestly.

So freaking paranoid. I find myself google'ing "miscarriage without bleeding" .. or "chemical pregnancy". I maybe feel as if i am jinxing myself or getting ahead of the game.  Waiting til 10 weeks for my confirmation ultrasound is gunna drive me bonkers. I know there is nothing i can do but take care of myself, but waiting in not a good game for me.

i hate to be all paranoid and gripey about this..but i'm just worried. I want this soo bad--i even feel talking about it is jinxing it. Awww..i'm losing my mind.

Or maybe i wouldn't be so crazy about this if i hadn't been trying for 10 months and patrick wasn't leaving in a few days.

I need to see/hear this baby to feel like it's real. At this point it just seems like it's a dream.

............
5:40 AM 
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September 6, 2009 - Sunday 

Current mood:  froggy
so i just pulled up my blogs from this time in my pregnancy with Emma. By this time i had already had 2 ultrasounds, been put on bedrest and had morning sickness. haha. So, this pregnancy is going MUCH better already :)

I am sooo darn anxious for these next 3 weeks to go by so i can start listening in for my baby's heartbeat. Usually the earliest to hear on a dopplar is 8 weeks. [thats pushing it] but i did with Emm and i still am very thin so i hope i will be able to hear him/her. We'll see.

I can't wait to actually start feeling pregnant :) or til i hear my baby or see him/her. I will feel better. But i think it's that way with everyone.


O' and next week is GOING TO SUCK!!!!!!
4:24 PM 
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