Clothe 'em shoggoths!

If you should be so inclined, you may place an Aarni t-shirt preorder to Epidemie Records at http://www.epidemie.cz/en/

Here's what our label says on the matter:

"We will release strictly limited edition of shirts of Finnish avant-garde metal band AARNI. From 40 silver print shirts there will be 30 T-shirts: 10 in black of L size, 9 in black of XL size, 7 in dark green of L size, 4 in dark green of XL size. 10 girlies: 4 in black of M size, 2 in khaki of M size, 2 in black of L size and 2 in khaki of L size. The price of one shirt will be 10 EUR + shipping (Europe: 3 EUR for air mail or 4,5 EUR for registered air mail, World: 4 EUR for air mail or 5 for registered air mail). You can pre-order at: order@epidemie.cz and we will write you back payment details."

:: M.W.'S WORDS ::

Hi honey!

1) I have put the new song Lemminkäinens Tempel online at Reverbnation, go check it out if you want a taste of how the next album will not sound. Rather the track represents a comic relief from making the third Aarni album...the tune in question is Aarni's first to feature Swedish language lyrics (except for one interjection in Finnish). This naturally fits the song's subject, which deals with the esoteric (in the widest sense of the word) theories and practices of the unwitting Finnish Discordian saint Ior Bock. Consider it a homage to the man and delusions in general.
Musically we may be looking at some sort of "tr00 doom metal" or Black Sabbath-esque ditty, done in the best possible taste of course.

The song sounds better if you perform saunasolmu aka autofellatio while listening.

2) Currently Aarni concentrates on a more serious song, also likely to be put online once finished, namely a "kalevala" folk instrumental akin perhaps to Kivijumala and/or Kesäyö from the Bathos album. This tune like the one above and 49 Angeli Boni shall hopefully also see release on CD at some point.

After the lovely folky jig Aarni promises to sink back to the maddening tentacle-ridden mucus that is the process of making our third LP Lovecraftian.

3) Our pampered underground agents are on strike because of a recent incident involving forced travel via sewers and some exceptionally unwashed Aarni fans. Because of this prudery we still haven't received trustworthy updates on the band t-shirt matter, but we will let you know asap.   
          
Near misses,
Master Warjomaa

IN:
-Amorphis: Skyforger
-Rauta-Aika DVD
-Gurdjieff

OUT:
-badly coded computer games

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All Hail Discordia,
Aarni

Greetings fellow cultists, here's an assload of news:

1) New song '49 Angeli Boni' online at Reverbnation and MySpace. Not related to Aarni's third album-in-process Lovecraftian in any way; rather this new tune represents a momentary relief from all the hard, almost religious work we have lately engaged ourselves in with the afore-mentioned album.

The lyrics of this short song simply recite the (proto-Enochian) names of all the 49 "good angels" from Dr John Dee's De Heptarchia Mystica. The angels in question are those of the seven classical planets and related days of the week plus their planetary hours, with each planet/day featuring a set of seven angels whose names are composed of seven letters.
To underline all this emphasis on the number seven, the song's chord progression rotates around seven descending chords, while the organ plays an ascending pattern of seven notes with seven variations. And the breaks between the seven verses are made of - you guessed it - seven notes. The whole ditty is in 7/4 time with a tempo of 149 BPM and employs a whole step scale, which famously has...seven notes.   

All of this makes for pretty repetitive music and we have intended the song more as a tool for getting in the mood when practising Heptarchic/Enochian magick than as your typical soundtrack for boozing...
As always a lyrics page for the song will appear on the Aarni webshite in the near future.

2) Our label tells us the near-mythical Aarni T-shirts shall be made available during April. Thanks to all of you who have expressed an interest in this ineffable vestment! More news once the actual garments manifest.

3) I recently made four "elemental ads" plus a pentagram pseudo-logo for Aarni for no good reason. Maybe you'll find some use for these pics. High resolution versions of them can be found on the Gallery page of the band's webshite, while lo-res versions have been posted to sites such as MySpace, LastFM etc.   

4) If you should so wish, you can now follow our studio-related and other bizarre practices also on Twitter.   

Cheerio,
Maharishi Warjomaa

IN:
-Gonin-ish: Naishikyou-Sekai
-personal relations with supernatural entities
-good literature

OUT:
-Candlemass: 'Death Magic Doom'

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For more disinformation, go to www.aarni.info/

:: CONTACTS ::

Website: www.aarni.info
Newsletter

A very recent Aarni interview with the Russian Metal Library webzine just online!

English version: http://www.aarni.info/interviews.html

Russian: http://www.metallibrary.ru/articles/interviews/162.html

Dear inmates,

Lucky 3175 A.M. to you all & for now just a brief note from the staff:

1) Green light for the Aarni t-shirt, thanks to your expressed interest in it! Our label tells us that the opaque garment will probably manifest in March-April; I shall let you know once I manage to channel more specific information. Wear it or drink it!  

2) Meanwhile Aarni busies itself working on Lovecraftian and we recently completed what will possibly be the album's somewhat unnerving opening track, 'The Strange High House in the Mist'. Presently we move on to the serene 'Celephaïs', another (instrumental) song.
 
Currently the album looks like to be for the most part a sort of soundtrack to individual HPL stories, with emphasis on what we consider to be the pertinent ambience & atmosphere & so forth, while his poetry has inspired the album's more conventional(?) songs. Time shall tell how pnakotic this analysis is...     
  
Wake loose,
Mawster Warjomaa

IN:
-Lord Vicar: 'Fear No Pain'
-Persistence In Mourning: 'The Undead Shall Rise'
-lucky Hoodoo

OUT:
-used shoggoths

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For more disinformation, go to www.aarni.info
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All Hail Discordia,
Aarni

Torzu!

1) The Aarni t-shirt may or may not happen, depending entirely on the demand. So, would you be interested in one or several of these potential garments?
Our label tauntingly whispered to us that the shirt's total price would be 15 euros (Europe) or 16 euros (World)  - including shipping and other shitting. Sizes available ought to include at least Small, Medium, Large and Troll.
Colour: black with whitish/silvery imprint on the front (see image above).

Tailored depending on whether you like to see yourself as a boy and/or a girl and manufactured from the purest magical Shitril mined by the retarded amorphous dwarves under the Mountains of Madness, Southern Antarctica. Tekeli-licious!

This magickal t-shirt will make you both sexless and deathless, plus naturally send strong musky signals to sentient beings around you...who will sense in you a great wisdom, but also a great sadness.

Yet the glorious ritual garment won't manifest in this alternate universe at all unless you express an interest in its existence to Aarni!
Do it by email or MySpace/Reverbnation/Facebook/Last.Fm message or blog comment, because currently we don't have time to read our telepathetic messages.

Hopefully needless to say, this is in no way binding or a preorder or anything of the sort - the purpose now is merely to give us a rough idea about the potential demand for this all-terrain garment. Remember, you are definitely NOT too sexy for this shirt.         
 
2) After the recent release of Omnimantia EP Aarni currently plays & works on the third album Lovecraftian and also occasionally on a side project, more of which maybe later.     

Good Yule & Inneresting New Year 3175 A.M.,
Maharishi Warjomaa

IN:
-HBO's 'True Blood'
-"Enlightenment"
-Quality computer games

OUT:
-Bruce Dickinson for crimes against impeccability

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:: CONTACTS ::

Website
Newsletter

You may ogle at a recent Aarni interview at Avantgarde Metal: http://www.avantgarde-metal.com/content/stories2.php?id=87

:: M.W.'S WORDS ::

Praise 'Bob'!

1) Omnimantia EP released! If you wish, get yours via the instructions on the 'Encounter' page on the Aarni website. The price of the CDR has been set to 8 euros inside the Europa Fort and 9 euros for the rest of the planet. The prices include shipping by Air Mail.
Yes, we decided to call Omnimantia an EP as the total playing time clocks at 56 minutes, while decency dictates the minimum length for a LP as 60 minutes...
Obviously no booklet included with this one, but you can find the lyrics at the Aarni website as usual.
Also a special feature: every copy of Omnimantia will feature unique handwritten liner doodles by Yours Truly, who also accepts your requests as to their content. In other words, every copy will be different from the next and worth a fortune in the future. Pimp my EP and laugh all the way to the bank! 

The tracklist:

1. Rat King [this song has it all: 16th century Prague, rats, a golem, Dee and Kelley, pwning Christians and death metallish clamour]

2. Dimwa Depenga [a mellow tune sung in Ouranian-Barbaric, the ritual language mostly used by practioners of Chaos Magick. Expect to be "healed".]

3. This Is Not A Mask [a charming, thought-provoking mishmash of parts. Like it myself...]

4. Hypnagogia [here's a personality test. You can learn much about yourself from the reaction this true-to-the-title freestyle tune causes in you. Are YOU a mediocretin or a glorious starfaring futant?]

5. "Untitled" [Skepticism cover song of the fourth track from their Farmakon album. Aarni's version features lyrics from the German online edition of Principia Discordia amongst musical scatomadness. The original version of this track appeared on Entering The Levitation Skepticism tribute album.]

6. Verivaikerrus / Hurmehanki [Thergothon cover song, orig. Crying Blood / Crimson Snow. Aarni's version has the lyrics translated into Finnish. The original version of this track will appear on the upcoming Thergothon tribute album by Solitude Productions.]

7. Lovecraft Knew [an original Aarni song from the forthcoming Lovecraftian cosmic horror theme album.]

Note: the last three tracks have been mastered exclusively for Omnimantia and so sound more or less different than the versions appearing on the tribute releases mentioned above. Also note that Aarni wages war against the loudness war, meaning that you should crank up the volume on your player a bit, because we have applied only light compression at the mastering stage to preserve the natural sound and dynamics of the musical instruments used on the record. And just like in the good(?) old days, the overall volumes of the tracks may differ somewhat from each other. Aarni has painstakingly done all this just to let you know we care!
 
2) In related news, the release date of Umbra Nihil's arthritis-inducing second album The Borderland Rituals has been set to Nov 18th 2008. Visit the band's and/or Epidemie Records' website for further gossip. 

Gimme slack or kill me,
Mahatma Warjomaa

IN:
-Pope Pete's latest book
-Mysteries
-Quality literature

OUT:
-The loudness war
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For more disinformation, go to www.aarni.info/