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Rowan

Rowan Villabroza


Last Updated: 10/6/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 21
Sign: Pisces

Country: SG
Signup Date: 11/21/2006

Blog Archive
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Thursday, March 06, 2008 

Current mood:  aggravated
Is there something wrong with me?
I feel like I'm doing drugs or something. I really don't get it!
First I'm up there, jubilant... then...Crash!

Bipolar Much?!

I am trying to master the art of guitar. Phew! I so should have done this in secondary school, when everyone else was picking up the guitar. Calluses on fingertips. Back aches from playing while sitting down.

People say I'm too ambitious with what I'm trying to play on the guitar. I say, wait and see. I'll get it eventualy.

I hate that I lost so much time with my folks trying to make me do things I don't want to. When I was younger, they forced me to:
-move here to Singapore
-learn how to play the piano
-learn how to play the damn electrone
-do ballet!
-BE LITTLE MISS PERFECT

I think they still haven't quite gotten tired of it yet. I guess I'm sad because they are practically the only family I have and yet, no matter what I do... they still won't let me be. They simply refuse to see me for who I really am. Instead they try to stick me into this mold.

I have my own mind and my own dreams to achieve and I am so tired of being  "fake" around them and of trying to achieve their dreams for them. It's stupid.
Thursday, March 06, 2008 
You're too loud
I can't seem to shut you out
And I don't know what to do
About you.

I'm just crazy, maybe
But you're insane
These crazy thoughts
Seem to rule my brain.

You're me, no.
You're who I really want to be
Escape is you.
This is my split personality.
Currently listening:
Never Too Late
By Three Days Grace
Monday, March 03, 2008 

Current mood:  annoyed
Category: Quiz/Survey
Personality Disorder Test Results
Paranoid |||||||||||| 42%
Schizoid |||||||||||||| 58%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Antisocial |||||||||||||||||| 78%
Borderline |||||||||||||||| 62%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 46%
Narcissistic |||||||||||| 42%
Avoidant |||| 14%
Dependent |||| 18%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||| 14%
Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
Monday, March 03, 2008 

Current mood:  aggravated
I know I haven't really blogged here for a while.. safety issues I guess..

Anyways, like I've said, I'm in Biomedical Science now and really Its pretty weird  taking the cross disciplinary subjects.

Sigh... a lot has happened since I last wrote and well... Here goes!

I :
-am now 20 years old
-am in year 2 of my Biomedical Science Course, specializing in the Pharmaseutical sector (even if I don't really want to!!)
-took Psychology as a cross disciplinary subject and now I am seriously considering changing courses... Psycho rocks!
-am still in Singapore
-am at home and these two months, March and April are supposed to be my holiday break
-stressed out because of my Mum
-am more responsible than she thinks I am
-am sad and I think there may be something wrong with me.

You know what... scratch the last part... I think that that last point has always been there.

What is new... hmmm I think that well...I feel like I have no direction. I guess that I've just found my course has become well... lacklustre. It has lost its appeal. I know I'm pretty young but I think I'm having a midlife crisis!!

I am so in denial of so many things right now.
Currently listening:
The Black Parade
By My Chemical Romance
Release date: 31 October, 2006
Thursday, June 21, 2007 

First of all, as words are a poor channel of which I can express my thoughts, I will define what I mean by the worlds humanity and nature. Humanity will refer to the human race, I will also use the term to encompass objects that humans have created and the changes we have caused to the environment. Here, humans shall be seen as something other than an animal. Nature refers to anything not manufactured or shaped by human hands, in other words, the state of the environment before humans had started changing it.

 Humans are indeed destroying the world at an increasing rate. What I think is required is that we find a balance between development and the maintenance of the natural world.

 Indeed there is some sort of imbalance upon the world; humans are taking over, almost suffocating the natural world with the advances in our own world. I believe that somehow a balance can be reached where humans have a place in nature, not as wild beasts and not as its protectors.

 Try to see humanity and the natural world as two different substances inversely proportional to each other in magnitude. The larger our civilizations are, the less natural the world becomes. I think that it is possible to somehow maintain these two opposing forces in a fairly balanced manner.

 It is important for us to remember to hold back when we see that we are doing too much damage. The only thing is that it is difficult to see things in the proper perspective as certain desires such as greed cloud our judgment. We must constantly reevaluate how we are as a species is affecting the rest of the planet. I believe that if there is a God out there, this would be his way of maintaining the natural order of things, a harmony, that achieving this balance would somehow allow us our proper place in the world.

 All the time, we are taught to keep expanding our horizons and challenging our minds, but I believe that thinking inside the box, within certain restraints, is becoming more and more challenging. Since our resources are finite, it is only common sense to make use of them the best way possible and to optimize their use, even if it is inconvenient and difficult. Preserving the environment would help us slow the destruction.