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Neil Hamburger

Neil Hamburger


Last Updated: 7/10/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 54
Sign: Cancer

City: cardboard box
State: New Mexico
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/2/2006

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Thursday, June 11, 2009 
...Nonetheless, it continues to be more popular than stand-up comedy. But last year, whilst in Australia, I "cut a record" (as we say in the business), of modern "hate music", with the loud band The Hard-Ons. The record has finally been released, and Boni Jergen, webmaster of my unofficial site, has consented to let us try and sell copies on a spare webpage that she had lying around:

http://www.americasfunnyman.com/contact_1.html

The record is called "American Exports", and there are 4 fast-paced songs on it. It comes in a handy-dandy cover, and was released in Germany, by an organization calling themselves "Red Lounge Records". Only a handful were made, and it is not readily available in any store that I know of, so you'd best visit that link, if you have any interest in adding this "recorded jewel" to your colletion.

Kind regards from
Neil Hamburger



Currently reading:
Deep Sleep with Medical Self-Hypnosis
By Steven Gurgevich
Friday, May 01, 2009 
You can listen to this on the internet, if you know how. (I don't!)

Photobucket


Sunday, April 26, 2009 

Current mood:  scared
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Would you like to be annoyed by TWICE-HOURLY bleeps and blips, alterting you to the latest traffic jam or car breakdown experienced by "America's #1 Funnyman", Neil Hamburger?

It probably won't happen, as Neil is far too busy and much too inept to be a regular "Twitter correspondent". Yet a Twitter account has been set up: www.twitter.com/neil_hamburger
Currently reading:
The Swine Flu Affair: Decision-making on a Slippery Disease
By Richard E. Neustadt
Sunday, April 26, 2009 

Current mood:  scared
The Los Angeles Homeless Population is DEAD tired of not being able to afford a ticket to the Opera, the Ballet, or any of the major rock concerts that come to this little town.

That is why we have put together a night of entertainment that anyone can afford!
Tonight (Sunday) at Spaceland in Los Angeles, 1717 Silver Lake Blvd., we are presenting FIVE top name acts, for the total price of $8.00, with FREE MOTHBALLS to the first 10 paid customers.

There will be a booth set up in front for panhandlers to acost paying customers to try and get money out of them, so that they may attend the show too, and pickpocket the audience.

Tonight! 8:30 pm:

Neil Hamburger ("America's Funnyman", "this MySpace bulletin", "Red Eye")
Scott Aukerman & B.J. Porter ("Mr Show")
Andy Kindler ("Late Night With David Letterman")
Laundry Basket and Spiegelman ("not on Television")
American Sheriff ("not on Television")

Come on down, and PROVE THE COLD-HEARTED WRONG!
Currently reading:
Reflections on the 1976 swine flu vaccination program.(INFLUENZA: HISTORY): An article from: Emerging Infectious Diseases
By David J. Sencer
Release date: 2006-01-25
Thursday, April 16, 2009 

Current mood:horrible
Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Friends,

I have tried, and failed, to secure work as the spokesperson for a
national chain of low-cost motels. Thanks to all of you who kept your
fingers crossed, and who sent letters and telegrams, but I'm afraid
that I am going to have to put aside my dreams of shilling for those
pricks and their bedbug infested hell-rooms, and go back to doing what
I normally do, which is performing upwards of 399 nightclub shows a
year.

On the positive side, I made a guest appearance on the hit TV show "Free
Radio" last week, and if your demeaning work schedule prevented you
from watching it when it originally aired, here it is, on-line, for you
to screen at your convenience:
http:../../..www...vh1...com/..video/..play...jhtml?..id=..1607737&..vid=359407

Also, I would like to bring your attention to two products made available by
my pals at the struggling Eabla Records recording label, out of
Portland, Oregon. First, is an album by the Great 1970's Florida lounge
singer Joe E., whose music has helped me, immensely, in life:
http:../../..www...eabla...com/..EAB_101.html

Secondly, is an album by an old group of young assholes called "The Zip Code
Rapists". Normally I don't like this type of "hate music", but I did a
show with these guys in St. Paul, Minnesota, some years ago, and they
were very generous as far as sharing their backstage liquor allotment
with me: http:../../..www...eabla...com/..EAB_102.html

If there are any doctors out there who can do a tuberculosis test on the
spot, in a backstage dressing room, I have two free show passes for
you, to any show on my schedule.

Best wishes from
Neil Hamburger



Currently listening:
Feels So Good
By Chuck Mangione
Release date: 1990-10-25
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 
Here's a video Tom Green put together featuring highlights from last night's show at Spaceland...with David Liebe Hart, James Quall, Rob Schneider, Jason Rouse, and more!




Saturday, November 08, 2008 
In little over a week, I will be performing at a "cat hotel" in Burbank to an audience of mostly cats.


There will be space for a few human beings to attend as well. As this is a cat kennel, alcohol will not be served, though cookies, coffee, and cat food will be available to patrons.


Rescued cats will be available for adoption. Admittance to this unusual show will be a mere $7 suggested donation. Prior to my performance, the cats and humans will be shown a short film by Chris Manz, entitled "Knock Knock".


Here are all the details for the event:

Sat. Nov.
15 9:00PM
The Cat Hotel
1807 W Magnolia Blvd.

Burbank, CA 91506

You will need to RSVP, as space is limited.

RSVP to chrismanzshow@gmail.com
Currently reading:
Model Licence Conditions and Guidance for Cat Boarding Establishments
Thursday, November 06, 2008 
Friends,

Yesterday a new DVD was released by Epic, entitled "Tenacious D: The Complete Masterworks 2".

Those folks who purchase this DVD at BEST BUY, will find that disc 2 has some additional bonus features and "deleted scenes", including a short film entitled "Neil Hamburger On Tour", which encapsulates the great moments I spent, dodging fruit and coins, on stage, opening for Tenacious D. Backstage and "on the road" vehicular footage is also included in this miniature, 5 minute documentary, which ONLY appears on copies of this DVD sold at BEST BUY. If you buy the disc elsewhere, the footage does not appear. Unfair, I agree!

I do not want to shill for Best Buy. I do not even like the store. But if you want to see this footage, including the "exploding glass sequence" from Chicago's UIC Pavilion show, you will need to get down to your local Best Buy location, where this 2 DVD set is on sale this week for a mere $11.99.

Your friend,
Neil Hamburger
Sunday, October 19, 2008 
Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.us

 

This man was a true inspiration to me, and to all entertainers, who believe in giving their all to an audience, night after night, at great personal expense. I was fortunate enough to have seen this great entertainer in person numerous times.

The dirty, poorly-dressed, tuneless rock singers who stink up the stages currently could learn a thing or two from the great Levi Stubbs!

Drink!
Neil Hamburger


Currently listening:
50th Anniversary Anthology
By The Four Tops
Release date: 2004-01-13
Friday, October 17, 2008 

Current mood:  working
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
Friends,
I recently wrapped up a long tour with Pleaseeasaur, visiting many of the states that make this great country great, including shows in Wisconsin, Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Minnesota, Illinois, Georgia, Florida, Mississippi, Louisiana, Tennessee, and Alabama.


One of the highlights of this tour (besides finding a fortune-telling lizard on the street, in Jackson, Mississippi), was the chance to meet so many of you, and perform for you, and take on your problems as my own.


A special commemorative "Souvenir Record" was pressed up to be sold exclusively at these shows. Only 500 were made, and it was pressed in special "thick" vinyl that can only be broken by hurling it against a brick wall. These records came in a special, expensive-to-produce and beautiful-to-behold letterpress sleeve, with cover art specially prepared for the release by the great Mark Mothersbaugh. Astute fans picked these items up for $15.00, and horded additional copies. Others walked away from the merchandise table in disgust, heading over to the bar for another cheap shot of the very booze that is killing them.


The record features one exclusive track by Pleaseeasaur ("Business Incorporated"), and one exclusive track by Neil Hamburger, with the Too-Good-For-Neil-Hamburger Band ("I Started A Joke").


We have a very small quantity of these records left over, that are being offered right here, right now, to the first folks who reply. You will need to add an additional $2.50 to cover the cost of shipping the parcel within the USA, for a grand total of $17.50. Fans and collectors outside the United States need to add $5.00, making your total $20.00.


This transaction can be processed via the dreaded PayPal, or by US Mail, if that is more your bag. The main thing is that you need to get in touch to reserve your copy, before it is too late.


If you are uninterested, we apologize for the intrusion.


Your $15.
00 Funnyman,
Neil Hamburger
Currently reading:
Frozen pizza industry leaves consumers wanting more, survey finds.: An article from: Frozen Food Digest
Release date: 2005-07-31