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Random Thoughts of a Princess

Princess

Carmony .


Last Updated: 7/8/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 34
City: Denton
State: Texas

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Wednesday, July 08, 2009 
I'm happy to report to you all that the weather on the Island of the Beautiful Princess seems to be calm at the moment. There was a Tropical Depression on the horizon, but somehow it lost all its strength and we all got a little wet from a slightly heavy rain storm instead. Now... Calm. That's an unusual state on this Island that's for sure. Enjoy it, because there are no guarantees that it will continue for long. =)


Now for the update on the job situation...

It's not good. I've got this stigma attached to me now called: UNEMPLOYED (long-term unemployed at that). "Well what have you been doing during your extended time of unemployment?" WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?? You've got to be kidding me. Well I've been raising three kids and going to school. It's actually much like the career I had before I walked away from it to be Mommy. As an executive assistant, I was constantly holding hands of those in need to be lead, kissing wounded egos, and making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be there. I was responsible for the well-being of everyone who worked in my office. They discovered this while I was on maternity leave once and we had a "new girl" for a few weeks. =) Luckily we were all able to recoupe from THAT little disaster.

My problems finding a job cannot be blamed solely on my current employment status though. I am being a little picky. I'm trying to get a job as a phlebotomist. (that's why I went to school, right?) I'm limiting myself to DENTON, (because of my lack of a car) and I need to work nights for the time being (because I'm being stubborned and I refuse to put my kids in daycare again). The night jobs are out there. The phlebotomy jobs are out there. My problem getting one of those many night time phlebotomist jobs--that are out there-- is one simple little thing: I've NEVER worked in the medical field in my entire working life. And the only real "experience" I have is from my clinicals (and I'm learning that doesn't really count). It is becoming obvious to me that healthcare is not something you get to just walk in to. Apparently you have to have a golden invitation to get in this elite little career field.

It's frustrating the hell out of me. So I decided to combine healthcare and admin work and I am now taking a Medical Assistant class. Thinking that maybe they will see that yes, I am in fact serious about a healthcare career, they may give me a chance. So far no. When I gave up looking for night jobs and started looking for work during normal hours, I discovered that I can't even get a job at Braum's or Arby's. And I've worked at both of these places!

Hence the horrible weather that was approaching the Island.... I'm very frustrated right now ...


Sunday, June 21, 2009 
Ok, well I will be once I get a job, but I'm one more step closer now that I'm FINISHED with my clinicals!  Wow that seemed to take forever.  Since I was only doing it once a week, the other girls in my class finished up long before I did.  And unfortunately none of them have jobs yet. 

So two Saturdays ago, I woke up crying and feeling totally unconfident about doing my job, so I chickened out and didn't go in for my clinicals.  The saturday after that, I woke up feeling somewhat confident, and decided to be a big girl and get up there and finish this up.  And I was really glad I did.  I worked with a different girl Saturday, and the funny thing is, she's the one everyone told me I DIDN'T want to work with.  She's deaf and can only hear a very little bit, and she's "rude and thinks she knows everything" and "you won't learn anything from her and she's not going to let you stick anyone"  Those are the things I was told about her, so on the one Saturday when I knew she was working, I took that day off.

Well she turned out to be THE BEST person I'd worked with the entire time.  She watched the first one I did, then she took over and SHOWED ME how to do it right, rather than just telling me "you're doing it wrong, move over and let me do it."--which is what I get from the other ones I've worked with.  She showed me how to hold the needle, she showed me how to go about finding a difficult vein, she showed me how to get blood out of a surface vein (which I was told you can't do by three people).  And she was really impressed with  me.  After that first one that I missed on, I didn't miss any the rest of the day!  She said my patient interaction is fabulous and she commented on the fact that only two people left without saying, WOW YOU'RE GREAT AT THIS!  She said it's rare to find someone who interacts with the patients that well and because of that I should have no problem finding a job.  Then she told me to come to her location next week to finish up my clinicals with her.

So Friday I did.  I had nine sticks to go, so I slept in a little bit and went in at 10:30.  My thinking was, I could get 9 sticks in before they closed for lunch at 12:30.  Well at lunchtime, I had 2 sticks to go.  OK, fine I shouldn't have been lazy and I should have gotten there earlier.  But I didn't, so I went to Walmart and had lunch, then went back at 1:30 to wait for my final two victims.  I didn't have to wait long.  About 10 minutes later a mom came in with two kids who needed bloodwork done!  One... Two...  :)  One was six, the other was three.  This was the first time I have stuck kids, other than my own (thank you Taelon for letting me practice on you, you rock more than you'll ever know!!), so I was a little bit nervous.  But... I got blood out of them on my first attempt, and neither one of them even shed a tear!    Their mom said she couldn't believe how well they did because the last time they both freaked out.  :)  Go Amy!!

So now I'm finished.  And you'd think I would have an easy time finding a job since I'm wanting to work terrible hours that no one else wants, but it's not going well.  Everyone I've applied with says I need one year of PAID EXPERIENCE before they'll even talk to me.  And when I had an interview with Presbyterian hospital for an entry-level PRN phleb, I was basically shot down because I haven't had a job in three years.  That seemed to be a big thing in the interview.  The fact that I haven't worked a real job, but have been a mom for three years.  Going to school and raising a family means apparently nothing if you don't get paid for it.  It's frustrating as hell, but I am going to prevail over this little problem.  Wish me luck!  god I need it!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009 
I'm halfway to my magic 100 sticks!!  Actually I'm at 63, so I'm a little more than halfway there.  Then I'll be finished and in theory will be able to find a job.  --IN THEORY. 

So here's the update on my patient interactions and my confidence level at this point:

Last Saturday was a great day for me.  Especially since the Monday before sucked.  Monday I missed on my first four patients.  That's not the way to start the day.  Thanks to some encouraging words from a couple of friends, I got back in there and had, for the most part a successful afternoon.  But Saturday was my best day by far!  I stuck 14 patients Saturday and got blood out of 11 of them!!  That's my best ratio yet!  Two patients told me, "you can stick me anytime I ever need to have this done because you didn't even hurt me!"  And my best, most successful stick all day was an old lady who, when I started feeling around for veins in her arms, said to me, "oh honey (they always call me honey) they haven't gotten blood out of my arms in seven years, you're going to have to stick my  hand right here." and she pointed to this little vein in the side of her hand.  I asked her if she minded if I tried her arm because she had a really good vein that I could feel.  She didn't mind at all, so I stuck her in the anticubital vein and *poof* blood started going into the tube.  --And my patient was shocked, and impressed!  :)

I've found that I have more success on Saturdays than I do on Mondays.  I chalk this up to the fact that the guy I work with on Mondays intemidates the shit out of me and makes me nervous, so I tend to miss a lot.  Saturdays I work with a different person every week and each one of them is laid back and willing to teach me when I make mistakes. 

I've also enrolled in an at-home medical assistant course.  I am hoping this will help me to find a job in the medical field since it's somewhere I have never worked.  I am learning a lot, but right now I'm still in the boring part--going over administrative stuff that, as an administrative assistant, I alrealy know.  But there's always room for improvement, right?  I'm hoping to be done with this course by the end of the summer. 

All in all, I'm still happy with my chosen future career.  I know it's sick, but drawing blood is really fun!  And I'm looking forward to many years of doing it.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009 
OK, so the whole thing is stupid and a huge punishment shouldn't come out of a simple little hard piece of candy, but unfortunately I think it's going to have to come to that.

Logan wanted a peppermint for breakfast.  He had five left over from yesterday.  I told him no.  9am is too early to eat candy and NO you're not having candy before you eat breakfast.  Have the peppermint after breakfast if you want, but you're having breakfast first.  Fifteen minutes ago I grabbed him for hugs and kisses and tickles and good mornings, and THAT'S when I tasted it.  I licked my lips and had the faintest hint of peppermint on them and in that same second my scent receptors kicked in and I smelled the peppermint on his breath.  hum... I remember specifically saying NO to the peppermint.  But he ate it anyway.  Now... I had no intention of a big bad punishment for a stupid piece of candy.  I was going to say something about it, get on to him for doing it anyway and then make him sit in his room for awhile.  Here's where the problem comes in...

MOM:  "Logan, I told you NOT to eat that peppermint."
LOGAN:  "I didn't."

Interesting... so how come my kid smells and tastes like a peppermint?  Must be some new morning breath pill that I don't know exists.  So I kissed him again and licked my lips and asked him how come I can taste it and smell it.  I give him another chance to tell me the truth.  He continues to stick with his story of "I didn't eat the peppermint".  So I go to take the remaining four away from him and find there are only 2 left.  So out of five peppermints, he's telling me he didn't eat three of them now.

SOME parents I know think it's ok for their kids to lie.  They think "kids lie, that's what they do".  And if the lie their kid told was deemed to be an inconsiquential lie, they look the other way and do nothing.  I am of a different mindset. I am not here to be my kids' friend.  I am here to be my kids' parent and teach them so they grow up to be responsible adults.  Kids DO lie, and as Parent, it is my job to make sure MY kid doesn't lie--ESPECIALLY TO ME.  So now it's on.

I gave him chance after chance to just tell me the simple truth.  I even told him I wasn't going to be mad if he DID eat the peppermints, but I would NOT be lied to about anything.  Nope, that didn't work.  He still yells and screams about not eating the peppermint.  He's sitting in his room now.  I sent Lucy in there with him and I usually keep her out of that room when I can because she gets into all his stuff.  Well she's doing that now while I'm cooling off from being lied to.  It's just a stupid piece of candy.  Who gives a shit?  But no, it's not just the stupid piece of candy.  It's the stupid tiny lie about the piece of candy that's the issue. 

So what do I do?  I can't just let this slide.  He can't, at five years old, think it's OK to lie to me and get away with it.  If I spank him, big deal.  he gets a spanking and he'll get over it in five minutes.  This isn't spanking material.  This has to be something different.  something that will leave an impression and remind him that WE DO NOT LIE TO OUR PARENTS!!!!!!

Ok parents... let's hear it... What do YOU do if the situation is yours to handle?

Thursday, May 14, 2009 
I'm in my third week of actually sticking people.  I have 68 more sticks to go before I have my required 100.  God that seems like forever!!! 

Everyone's right by the way... my hands did finally stop shaking after was up to 15 or 20!  Now if I can just keep that nasty little voice in my head quiet.  Taking that needle and actually sticking someone is very intemidating.  I now one day I will OWN that needle, but unfortunately it still owns me.  :|

I've come to the decision that the problem I'm having is that I'm not perfect at it yet.  I'm perfect at everything I do--YES, 100% perfect.   Every job I've ever had I was the epitomy of perfection at it.  Of course, my first month or so at each of those jobs was agonizing--similar to how I feel now. :)  So I have to keep reminding myself that though I am far from perfect right now, I will be so much closer to perfection as the years pass. 

Patients are fairly nice.  It's amazing what you can find out about someone in just four short minutes in my chair.  Strangers will tell you all kinds of things when they have time to sit and talk about anything that takes their mind off of the tiny little needle being shoved into their skin.  Of course, some people are just dicks and there's nothing you can do to change that.  Luckily when someone is a dick too me, I have the satisfaction of knowing that they are sitting in the chair of a phlebotomist in training--training on their arm!  haha! 

All in all I like it.  I'm looking forward to finishing this akward externship and getting a real money-paying job.  I think about a month into the real job I'll start gaining confidence and will notice myself not even thinking about what I'm doing, but just doing it--and doing it right!  I am considering taking an online Medical Assistant class.  This way I will have at least a little more knowledge about healthcare and could expand my job prospects greatly.
Thursday, May 14, 2009 

There are Game 7s going on all over the place this week.  It's win-or-go-home time.  Adreneline should e pumping through my veins, but it's just not the same without my Stars in the mix.  Sitting out of the playoffs for the first time since 2002 is HARD.  But life goes on and I must find a team I want to go all the way.  What's strange is remembering that it should be Duck Season for me, but I find myself pulling for them to get the Cup this year.  Go Ducks?????  yeah, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.  *blah* 

Except the Chicago/Vancouver series which ended in Chicago's favor in six games, every other game in this series is going to seven.  Tonight's game seven was between the Penguins and the Capitals.  Not a fan of either team really, I have a friend who lives in DC who is extremely excited this year because usually I'm the one rubbing my season in his face... so I picked the Caps as my team in that series.  Unfortunately the Caps lost tonight -- badly, and their season is now over. 

Tomorrow night we have Boston versus Carolina.  This is one I haven't really been keeping up with and I don't care who wins either way.  Except that I really am not a fan of Boston's colors and their jerseys make me want to vomit.  So I am picking Carolina to take this series.  Go Huricanes!

Tomorrow night is also do or die time for Detroit and Anaheim.  (Go Ducks, remember).  The Ducks' backup goaltender really impressed me this season.  Since Giggy's dad died he picked up where the slack needed to be picked up, and he found himself starting goaltender for a Stanley Cup team, in the Stanley Cup playoffs--with Giggy as HIS backup.  Way to go Hiller!!  (Oh, but Hiller, don't expect this entheusiasm from me for you next season, this is a one-shot thing)  And since I can't stand the Red Wings on ANY level, and because I think they've had the Cup quite long enough, I hope the Ducks send them home horrible losers tomorrow night.  (well except they are playing in Detroit, so I guess it would be the Ducks going home winners and the Wings going to bed losers)  Either way is fine by me as long as I don't have to watch Detroit play and win another Cup this year.  *shivers* 

Tuesday, April 28, 2009 

So my first day working in the lab was Saturday.  All I really got to do Saturday was watch the phlebotomist do her job.  I got to do some of the paperwork and I got to turn on the centrifuge machine.  I was there four hours on Saturday.


Today I worked the full 8 hour shift.  Since I'm not allowed to stick anyone until I've followed the phlebotomist around for at least 8 hours, my morning was pretty boring.  And they decided that I shouldn't do any of the paperwork since technically I wasn't an employee and they didn't want to violate any HIPAA laws.  So I just stood there all morning not doing anything. At 11:30 my eight hours was up and I got to stick the next person that came in.  I got blood on the first try!  --that's always a good thing!  :)  However; right after that the next patient wasn't as cooperative.  I missed her vein on the first stick and she freaked out, which kind of freaked me out.  I didn't freak out in front of her though.  I didn't freak out until 30 minutes later when it was lunchtime. 


I didn't want to stick ANYONE else.  I felt incompetent.  I felt like I was insane for thinking I could do something like this.  I was terrified that I was going to hurt someone.  I was thinking of all the wonderful non-jobs I could work for the rest of my life--anything besides sticking people because I can't seem to get someone to bleed correctly.  (I was being way too hard on myself) So I went outside and called my friend--the one who paid for me to go to school in the first place.  He used to be an EMT and was trying to convince me that this is something that I will just realize I've picked up, and I would eventually look back and laugh at how silly it was that once upon a time I was scared.  He told me a couple of beginner-EMT stories and we laughed.  Then he told me to get my butt back inside and DO THE JOB I PAID FOR YOU TO LEARN TO DO.  :)   (thanks David)


OK, that helped a little.  The next call I made was to one of the other students in my class.  She was just as nervous as I was and last week she started her clinicals.  She told me she realized after about 15 sticks that she wasn't shaking anymore.  LOL  So she really calmed my nerves by telling me that she went through the same thing and she's actually feeling pretty good about herself now.  She talked to me until my lunch was over and told me to "blow out the negative air and breathe in the positive air" and get in there and stick people.  Then she reminded me that it's not ME who should be scared, it's the poor people in the chair!  LMAO


After I got back from lunch, I had successful sticks the rest of the day!  I stuck seven people total today, and I got blood out of 6 of them!  And that's pretty good.  there were four people whose veins I couldn't feel and I didn't feel comfortable sticking them, and there was one 4 year old that I didn't feel comfortable sticking.  Other than that, I stuck everyone else who came in after lunch.  By the end of the day, i was feeling much better about my abilities to make people bleed, and I decided that I would in fact go back on Saturday.  :)

Thursday, April 23, 2009 
Sorry guys, my life exploded in my face and I didn't handle it well.  I've written off many people this week.  Some because they disappointed me.  Some because they lied to me.  Some because they lied about me. Some because they believe the lies.  If you're still around, condider yourself one of the few I still feel I can sit in the same room with.  And bare with me.  I'm injured right now and I'm going to take some time to heal.
 
I'm putting an official end to my own public drama as of right now.  I've learned some very harsh lessons this week.  Hopefully those lessons will follow me through my life and I will never make another mistake like this again.  I will however continue to vent my frustration and my complicated thoughts on myspace.  This is where I do this.  This is my outlet.  You don't have to read it.  And if you do, I'll remind you that you have every right to be offended by anything you chose to be offended by.  But I'm still going to vent because I need to sometimes. 
 
But as it stands now, the weather is still kind of choppy and I don't know if the tropical storm is going to hit the Island or go around it.  Or whether it will be a full blown hurricane by the time it does hit.  I'd appreciate no one else throwing rocks at the storm clouds, as it really doesn't do any good.  I don't need reports on the storm because I've got my eyes on it.  The boat has sailed away to the mainland and there were unfortunately a few people on it.  Their presence will be missed and their absence will be felt for a long time, but it's nothing that I won't get past. 
 
To the storm brewing, I can only say... take what you think you must.  But again, I will still be standing when the force of your winds has died.   And I'll have a beautiful new tattoo after it's all over, to remind me what I lost.
 
Princess of the Island of Chaos
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 
Finally!  My school finally got the insurance set up so that we can do our clinicals!  I start this Saturday at Clinical Pathology Labs.  I won't actually be able to stick anyone until I've been following another Phlebotomist around for 10 hours. I'll be doing my externship on Saturdays from 8am - Noon and on Mondays from 7:30am - 4:30pm.  Of course, that totally hinders my sleep time, but I'll just have to learn to go to bed at a decent time.
 
Hopefully after I finish my 100 succcessful sticks, I'll be able to get actual interviews for the overnight positions in the lab at the hospitals.  Everyone wish me luck!  This is finally happening!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009 
In the past few years I've been abandoned by very close friends six times.  Three of which have happened in the past few months. Granted one of those friends killed himself rather than walked out on me, but I still consider that abandonment--just in the permanent sense.
 
I'm done letting people get close to me.  I've tried this and all I get is hurt.  I am closing the door to my Inner Circle and locking it tight.  No one else will get in.  Hopefully no one else will leave.  It's becoming a very lonely place on the Inside.  My pain will eventually go away.  Hopefully my newfound guardedness will stick around and I'll be able to prevent more pain in the future.  I'm not a masochist.  I'm not into hurting like this.  And I've had about enough of it.
 
 
Monday, April 20, 2009 
I saw the most offensive kids commercial and I think that you parents out there will agree with me.  I'm attaching the commercial in question at the bottom so you can watch it and see for yourself. 
 
Burger King is doing a Spongebob Squarepants kids meal.  So they set the creepy BK King guy up singing "I like Square Butts".  There are scantally clad skinny, big boobed girls shaking their thing on the screen in front of my children--and they're singing along!!!  At the end of the commercial the guy says, "hey, booty is booty." and the commercial ends.  Remember, this is a comercial for a kids meal at Burger King.  The government is oh so concerned about making sure my kidsmeals include healthy things, and lots of information about health and exercise, but they'll allow sluts to shake their asses to get my kids to go buy a burger?  Appalled, I tell you.  Totally disgusted.  Burger King and Spongebob should be ashamed of themselves.
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm6d2oy8GRk
Wednesday, April 08, 2009 
Went to Midreign this past weekend and had a blast.  I camped for the first time ever in Gen-Pop -- and survived!  It wasn't too terribly bad and I'm pretty sure I can do that again.  It wasn't my uppity Company Road, but it was doable.  My huge ass tent had to be taken back to the store.  They took it back with no problems.  If I spend $150 on a tent, it shouldn't break the first time we use it, and Walmart agreed.  :)

I would like to personally thank those of you who contributed to my drunkeness on Saturday night.  Had a great time with all of you.  You'll be happy to know we were successful in the endeavor to get Carmony good and sloshed because at one point I was laying in the middle of Company Road for god knows how long--good job!   I think I have an Ice Dragon to think for that.  ;)   Luckily I have friends I trust who were keeping an eye on me.   Thankfully that side of me only gets to show twice a year or so.   I did wake up with a very deserving hangover that lasted pretty much all day.  THAT doesn't usually happen.
 

I do have some pictures to post, but unfortunately my camera was giving me grief and I didn't get as many as I would have liked, but I will post them soon.  I'm looking forward to seeing you all again at Coronation! 
 
Wednesday, March 11, 2009 
so what can I say about this season?  It's been a pretty crappy one, I can say that. The Stars have too many key players out with long-term injuries, and it doesn't seem like we can win a game right now.  But the cool thing about that...


It's still anyone's game!  There are seven teams fighting for those last two of the 8 places in the western playoffs.  The stars currently sit in 10th place with 70 points.  The point spread for those seven teams: 71 71 70 70 68 68 67.  There are fifteen games left.  So at this point, as crappy as they look on the ice, the Fat Lady is not singing just yet.


This means nothing really, I'm not an optomistic fan this year.  I'm fully expecting my season to end in early April.  If the Stars can accomplish one thing (and accomplish it quickly) there is still that slight chance that a playoff spot might belong to them next month. Here's the key:

 
...stop trying to NOT lose games, and start trying to WIN them instead


Simple logic really, right Coach?  Stop relying on your goaltender to keep the team from losing.  Start scoring some goals and win the game.  I'm no longer going to be accepting "not a loss".  That's like accepting a D on a test.  Unacceptable really.  So you passed.  Big deal.  (ok, at this point in the season, I'll accept "not a loss" anytime I can get it, but NEXT SEASON, I want points damn it!)


So, will the Fat Lady sing this week?  Possibly.  Was it a fun season?  Absolutely!  And because of that, I'll follow my team to last place if it goes that direction.  I may not be happy about it, but I'll be there.


Tuesday, March 10, 2009 
I've never experienced so much confusion in my life!  My decision to quit smoking soon would normally be a good thing.  People have been telling me for years that I need to quit smoking.  Well, I have decided to qit--or at least qit buying cigarettes.  I've stocked up and am still doing so for the next week.  After next week I will purchase no more cigarettes, which means I have until my packs are gone to quit for good.  Why did I decide to do this?  Because the federal government is raising cigarette taxes again and I've decided that I'm no longer going to fund federal programs with a "sin tax". 


Who cares why I decide to quit?  Quitting smoking is the best thing for me, correct?  Apparently NOT.  It's gone as far as being implied that I'm "selfish" for not wanting people to have healthcare coverage.  Because I don't want to help fund this program that I have been against since the conception of the idea?  "You smokers are going to help insure the country"  haha!  not MY money.  I still stand behind my decision to quit smoking.  I'm pretty sure I can do this since it makes me sick to my stomach to think about the thought of paying that tax.  Once my cigarettes are gone, I may still have a craving for one, but I'll be damned if I go and give them another penny!


Does that make me selfish? Fine, then I'll be selfish. 
Friday, March 06, 2009 
Ya know, you'd think I would have learned my lesson back in 2007.  Never assume the game is over until the final buzzer sounds.  In Nov of 2007 I finally had decided to give it up and go to bed.  With the Stars up 4-0 over the Kings, and less than 4 minutes to play in the game, what's the worst that can happen?  We may let in a goal or two, but that's not likely at this point, right?  WRONG!  When I woke up that next morning, I found out that the Kings beat the Stars in Overtime 6-5.  SIX to FIVE???  what happened to my 4-0?????  The Kings managed to score 4 goals in just over a three minute time span, then scored again to have a 5-4 lead. Mo came in and saved the day by tying the game at 5.  Count them:  that was SIX goals scored in less than three minutes.  But I'm kind of glad I missed out on that humiliation.


Fastforward several more months and we have the Stars playing the Kings again last night.  The game was a late starting game at 9:30.  I was tired and not really feeling too well.  I packed up and went to the bedroom in the first period and laid there trying to stay awake to watch the rest of the game.  (a game that was a must-win for both teams).  With less than five minutes left in the game, the Stars are up 4-2.  I decided at that point that my book and a bath was way more important than watching the last sloppy minutes of a game that I wasn't THAT into in the first place for some reason.  I got out of the bath just in time to see the Kings score in OT (OVERTIME???  wtf???) and beat the Stars 5-4.


Have I not learned by now?  NEVER assume that the game is over (especially when you're up four points), until the final buzzer sounds!