If you follow me on Facebook, you may have seen the post from my Mom about my home computer. It appears to have died on me. Best case scenario is that my warranty still covers it and I can send it in to get fixed, but that would mean I'd still be without Internet access for at least a month, not counting when I can get over to my Dad's place, where I am writing this from right now.
To add insult to injury on that front, with my iPod having been stolen this past Sunday, I am now completely unable to keep on podcasts. I can't just swing over here and fill up the Nano anymore. And now that I've been failed out of college I can't take advantage of the Macs in the computer lab for the same purpose. Nor can I use my Student ID to ride the bus over here whenever. I have to take out $4 every time I want to take the bus anywhere ($2 there, $2 to come back) which is not viable since the bulk of my paychecks go towards Rent, Energy, Cable/Internet, and Food. I can come over once or twice every couple of weeks, and that'll mostly be me checking my e-mails. My Dad's computer is a temp job and isn't equipped to handle podcasting. So don't expect to see me on Twitter or Facebook much, except maybe to update you all on where I'm at computer wise.
I mentioned above what the best case scenario was. Worst case? My PC is deader than disco, and even if I take out the maximum amount out of my checks that I can set aside and still eat, feed the cats, and keep a roof over me, it would take at least 2 years before I could afford a new computer.
This is all so unfair. My PC died after what was just an awesome day. I was looking forward to two fun interviews for my podcast, I was looking forward to NaNoWriMo, there were only 3 episodes left in Mur's Heaven series, I was going to start listening to Half Share by Nathan Lowell after NaNo was over, but now it's all, just gone to shit. The universe just can't let me be happy can it?
I don't want to say this is goodbye, that I'm podfading, and that you'll never hear me on any other shows again (or for at least 2 years which might as well be "never again"). But I can't say that I'll be back either. I don't know what's going to happen in the end to Geek of all Trades, The Casting Game, or all my other projects (most of which I'll have lost forever if my computer is more than mostly dead). You can still shop at my on-line store, or buy my book, but until the amount of royalties I make cross the $20 mark I won't get any checks for it. My e-mail inboxes will be insanely full I imagine, so don't send me any message for awhile until you can hear back from me.
I don't even remember what I was originally going to write here. I've spent much of yesterday and a chunk of today going back and forth between rage and tears. Those of you who heard the 30th episode of my podcast know how much the podcasting community means to me, and to be all but completely cut off from it as I've been now, by a combination of theft and hard drive failure hurts. For most of my friends, the Internet is not just my primary but my only way of communicating with them. I can still contact my family (and in the case of my Colorado relatives I can see them in person), and I have my good friend Diomira's phone number. I have books, cable so I can keep up with my shows and the news, I have a bunch of CDs and a working DiscMan (yeah, they still make those. ;-) ) so it's not like I have nothing, but I can't podcast, I can't write (my laptop won't work with my flash drive, and probably won't work with my printer either), and I can't listen to anything that isn't music or TV (c'mon, radio in America today mostly sucks).
I'm sorry if all this comes off as rather whiny, I'm trying to spread the word to my friends and fans why I'm going to be away for awhile and vent my frustrations all at the same time. Before I get too "pity me" on everyone, let me just say that if I don't make it back, it's been a helluva ride, and I know that, as miserable as I am now, I'm still a better person for having been a part of this community, and knowing people like Hutch, and Mur, and Tee, and Pip, and Encaf, and the Jaffees, and Tosus & Leanna, and the Farpoint Media crew, etc. ad infinitum, and missing all you peeps is better than not having ever known you.
So if this is goodbye, goodbye. And if not, if the best case scenario comes to pass, I may talk to you again before Christmas.
Spread the word to anyone who you even think might not have gotten this message.
Forever a podcaster and writer in spirit if nothing else,
Brian "Arkle" Webber
Hang on, if this is the end of my podcasting/writing career, let's at least end it on an upbeat number. :-)