Marjorie
Oakland

Dear Marjorie

You actually sound like a great match. I do, however, know where conflict can occur if YOU don't move quick enough. I'm going to have to guess here a little bit because I don't know specifics about your energy centers and such but I have a good sense of both of your styles. That being the case, you will have a tendency to download verbally and this can be a bit overwhelming for him. Save it for your girlfriends and for those moments when he is his MOST alert. Remember men carry a pad of post it notes and women carry a notebook when it comes to the relationship. His will fill up quickly and with a passive type, he is only going to be receptive when he is in his most active passive state. The other thing that you need to remember is to manage the appetite of the relationship wisely. Women tend to starve it or overfeed it. It is always good to be a little hungry so that you appreciate the time you have together. If you sense you are getting complacent, spend less time together and vice versa. Also, allow him to call you. It means he's thinking of you, making time for you and missing you versus feeling interrupted. These small considerations can make for an incredible relationship AND they are very easy to do. Relationships that are compatible and attractive only fail when the woman forgets how to manage the relationship. Do these three things and I guarantee you, he will be around indefinitely. For many reasons they just make us irresistible. I also suggest you take the full seminar where we teach you how to move in a relationship so that magnetic attraction always stays in check. Sounds like you have the fundamentals down though. Good job!

Sally Scott
OC

Dear Sally

Being bitter, like anything else is simply a choice. We can always decide to adopt an attitude of any sort towards any circumstance. Some choose to make the situation about them. In fact, all who have chosen the bitter route have placed themselves at the epicenter of their own thoughts. When we begin to think about others, such as why perhaps it wasn't a good time for the other person to engage in a relationship with us, then we begin to develop compassion. It's really not about us. It's about them. We have nothing to do with it. How tall we are, how rich we are, how old we are plays little importance if the chemistry and the timing is right. In fact, TIMING is everything... AND we only have so much time on this earth. Choosing to spend this precious commodity being bitter is a very selfish and ignorant use of time. I don't know about you but I think spending too much time worrying about being bitter might just be like calling the kettle black. My advice is to not give this worry any more of your time. Put a smile on your face and don't forget to wink at that cute guy in the grocery store next time you're standing in the cereal aisle. You never know...it just might be the right time for it.

Jessica from Vancouver

Dear Jessica

Often times the polarity or pull that we feel gets a little disruptive when it comes to being reasonable. This can result in giving too much too soon and before you know it, we are with someone we can't be with long term. Result, two hearts end up broken. Not good. The wonderful magnetism that is so often misread as healthy instinct unfortunately, is not the only thing required for a healthy relationship. In your case, it's not that you're picky but that your picker is off. You have a maximum attraction and an alchemical incompatibility with this person. Unfortunately,one must know their range of tolerance and this is easily identified with the Knowledge of Y.O.U. Alchemical incompatibility is the number one reason for failed relationships. If we go a hair outside our range of tolerance, the boat will tip over. Know your range and you'll be fine. Seems you have the polarity part down intuitively. I suggest you not invite anyone into your field of intimacy until other elements are deemed suitable.

Thoughtfully,
Zannah

Hi Zannah,

I have been in a relationship for two years now. In the beginning he was very romantic and attentive and now it feels like he just knows I will always be there. I am 28 and my boyfriend is 32. I'm ready to get married and have children and make a life with someone that knows how to commit. I have my education and career in place and I want to do those things that best use my the energy of my youth. Is it too early to expect that from him? I'm starting to get disillusioned and grouchy.

Sarah from Leucadia

Dear Sarah,

The curious thing about physical law is that it reveals our physical need as well as the timeline in which the need can and must be met. What you are feeling is the physical demands of being physical living in a physical dimension. This can be better spelled out by saying, "It's not too soon but almost too late". Let me explain. Generally speaking, women are all about THE RELATIONSHIP. I think just about every psychological guru in the world would agree to that. In my own observations of human nature, I have found that (in accordance with physical science) that women tend to NEED to take the relationship to the next level at 18 months. After the 18 month mark passes, an interesting de- evolution or in some cases re-direction of the relationship takes place; neither of which being what the woman really requires in terms of optimum circumstance for rising to her full potential. Ultimately what begins to happen is SHE begins to lose respect for her potential mate. If the days that follow the 18 month mark grow into years, she will eventually harbor such great resentment for him that the marriage even if entered into late, will likely fail or at minimum possess irreversible strained undertones.

My advice to you is to sit him down and simply be honest. Let him know that in order for you to be the best you can be, you require a marital commitment. The beauty in this, is that he gets to be the best he can be too. Two heads are better than one. We hold our visions of grandeur for one another during tough times and revel in the miracles of life together. There is nothing better than a union. Both of you will grow exponentially as a result. Tell him you cannot bear the thought of losing respect for him and that before you become discontented and someone you are not, you would rather leave the relationship in good standing. This is not an ultimatum but simply a reality. Having said this, "You must be prepared for him to let you go."

The good news is, "If he doesn't, HE'S THE ONE" simply because he heard your heart and understood it to be true. Love and Truth always prevail but it must come from both sides.

Thoughtfully,
Zannah