"We thought we were alone. We believed the universe was ours. Until one night in 2063, on an Earth colony 16 light-years away, they struck. And now we're at war. My name is Lieutenant Colonel T.C. McQueen. I'm an In-Vitro, a race of artificially-gestated lifeforms. I command a Marine Corps squadron, the 58th. They call us the Wild Cards. We fight when called; on space, on land, and at sea. To lose this war means more than defeat; to surrender is to never go home. All of us must rise to the call... Above and Beyond."

Does anyone else remember this show as fondly as I do?

When in England at a fairly large conference, Secretary of State General Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of "empire building" by George Bush.

He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return."

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.

During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?"

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed over 5,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry at least half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"

You could have heard a pin drop. (In case you’re curious, they have two... and plan to scrap one of them. ~Hess)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A US Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the US, English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.

At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, "Whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English." He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?"

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, "Maybe it’s because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn’t have to speak German."

You could have heard a pin drop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AND THIS STORY FITS RIGHT IN WITH THE ABOVE...

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Mr Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in ’44 to help liberate this country, I couldn’t find any damn Frenchmen to show it to."

You could have heard a pin drop.

~Special thanks to my friend "Doc" Steve Lemoine, aka "Air Pig", aka "Sea Pig", aka "Ninja 1363" for finding this!

I feel wierd. We were scheduled to go through the gas chamber this past drill weekend, and we didn't, due to somebody on the Air Force side dropping the ball. Strangely... I'm somewhat disappointed.

Man, these pictures from Israel have been sitting on my comp, not getting uploaded anywhere, for FOREVER. I feel like a jerk.

Cloverfield and I Am Legend are AWESOME movies. EXTREMELY well done, and Will Smith is just plain talented. I mean... damn. He makes me wish I was black just so I could dress like him and maybe look a hair cooler than I do; I'm not sure I could rock the snazzy tuxedo from the Wild Wild West music video like I am now.

I've never been so interested in a political race! Hearing that Mitt Romney (my 2nd choice after Senator Fred Thompson) also bowed out of the race actually ruined my day. It felt like someone had kicked my dog! How sad is that?

Why on God's green Earth would any general who'd been out in the field in the last ten years put a ZIPPER on the ACUs? Oh, wait... it appears I've answered my own question...

On a scale of 1-10, 1 being "attempted jaywalking" and 10 being "hirsute and obese public indecency", how wrong is it to refer to any pet as "emergency rations"?

Does anyone else want to reach into the radio and slap around the narrator of those damnable Netflix commercials?

Lasik, contacts, or should I just invest in a minimum of one backup pair of glasses from now on?

How exactly does one "corn" beef?

Aliens vs Predator: Requiem and the new Rambo are NOT excellent movies. They are, however, rather entertaining bloodbaths; therefore, I recommend them!

If you turned yourself into a vampire in order to save your village, and didn't kill all of the vampires attacking said village but did successfully run them off, would you: A) Stay a vampire and hunt down the remainder? B) Watch your last sunset with your beloved ex-wife? (Yes, that would kill you and you know it) or C) Finish the slaughter of your fellow townspeople because, hey, you saw 'em first, and I'm sure they're tasty?

I consider it heresy to make any root-beer-float-like concoction with anything other than Root Beer and Vanilla Ice Cream. Pure Heresy.

I wash my laundry in three loads: Whites, Reds, and Everything Else.

I cannot get "Until the End" by Breaking Benjamin out of my head! I'd be more angry if it wasn't such a good song, but seriously guys... can I get an intermission here?

... at least it's Breaking Benjamin and not Aqua.

"The people who are trying to make this world worse aren't taking a day off. Why should I?" - Bob Marley

"I Am Legend" is an excellent movie. EXCELLENT. Quite simply the best movie Will Smith has ever made, and definitely in my Top 5 of All Time. Even seen a second time, the suspense is enough to make one jump; the heartstring-pullers really tug, and you truly FEEL for the character of Lt Col Robert Neville.

And when Samantha died, I cried again. Good girl, Samantha. Good girl.

What can I say? New Year's depresses me. Seems to make me look back at all the missed opportunities and personal shortcomings of the old year, and to anticipate the disappointments and failures of the new. As much as things change, they still manage to stay the same.

This next year I anticipate being lonely again. Perhaps I'll find someone who wants me, who wants to spend time with me... and who doesn't want me to wait until she's single to do that. Or more likely not. I'm still hurting from a lot of past relationships and I remain either unable or unwilling to forget them and move on; I'm not sure which.

This next year I expect to be frustrated again. Frustrated at mounting stupidity at drill; frustrated at guilt for choosing to accept my discharge when my contract has been honorably served rather than re-upping or extending to join my brothers in Iraq; frustrated at doing things my employer's way and not the way that seems to make the most sense to me. Plus all the other kinds of frustrated, but I'd rather not go there.

This next year I expect to experience pain. Pain when the dentist uses power tools in my mouth. Pain when I pay the dentist! Pain when Marines I trained with go to war. Pain when friends make mistakes that I'm powerless to prevent. Perhaps new kinds of pain when I change branches, or if there's a period of time where I'm actually a civilian. Pain from rejection.

But for all the bad things, I expect there will still be some good. Perhaps even great good. I'll still have my loving family. I'll still have devoted friends. I'll still have opportunities to travel, and new experiences to rack up. Perhaps I'll even learn how to look up more than I look down (what a trick that would be!). This morning as I go to sleep, I'll be depressed. But I think I'll wake up refreshed and ready to try again once more. There's a lot of living yet to be done, and many more New Years to brood over!

The liberal media and those in power on the left would have you believe that President Bush, my Commander-In-Chief, is evil incarnate. So I got some stats on him and his cronies:

Hitler: 6 million plus Jews and 6 million of other denominations slain in the Holocaust, plus all the soldiers and civilians that died as a result of World War Two.
Stalin: Well over 12 million Russians killed in pogroms (including lots more Jews... anyone noticing a trend?)
Pol Pot: Over 3 million Cambodians.
Mao Zedong: A whole lot. Who even freaking knows?
Former US President Harry Truman: Casualties (both immediate and from radiation sickness) of the two atomic weapons dropped on Japan total over 400,000.
Former US President George HW Bush: Dropped torpedos that killed Japanese sailors in WWII.
Current President Bush: 67,000 terrorists, less than 4000 American servicemen, free elections for the Iraqi people, elimination of not one but TWO repressive and vile regimes, and some traced phone calls and waterboarded terrorists. Oh yeah, and no more terrorist attacks on US soil since 11 Sept 2001.

Yep. Pure Evil.

1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Burn from the rear sight of an AK-47

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
An American flag, a Marine Corps flag, a Dallas Cowboys pennant, a picture of Jesus, a framed and personally autographed painting that was commissioned for me, Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, a signed X-23 1, a man-size target that's been swiss-cheesed, Linkin Park and Hinder concert shirts, and Master Chief.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
I talk (sometimes incriminatingly) and occasionally wake up screaming... which is a good way to freak out a company of Marines in the field on a training op! Damned facehuggers...

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Yes.

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
1128 hrs, CDT

6. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Having someone to sleep next to

7. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
Some would say my Kimber Custom II; others my Mossburg 500. Still others might guess my Ka-Bars. In truth, my most prized possessions are my memories.

8. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
According to the Marine Corps, 74"

9. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Somewhat, while wearing MOPP gear

10. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!? But seriously, no. I prefer it.

11. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Bruce Willis. "Live Free or Die Hard". Seriously. The sight of that multi-million dollar aircraft getting destroyed... do you have any idea how many demolition ranges or rockets to train with that represents???

12. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?
Wow... that's so sudden... can you at least take me out to dinner first?
Yes, I do. Now the trick is to find someone who won't run screaming. I'm taking a trip to the Center for the Blind...

13. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Red hair, green eyes... and freckles.

14. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING/PROPOSED TO AT?
Well, I've already tried at the Mandalay Bay and by the Christmas tree; neither of those really did much to seal the deal. I think the next girl's just going to get tossed a box as I leave for work in the morning or something.

15. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Yes, please. But only Green Monster of the latter.

16. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Ham and Pineapple

17. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A full-body deep-tissue massage

18. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Yes. The cracker.

19. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU EVER RECEIVED?
The blanket my Mommy gave me the day I was born

20. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
As in romantically?

21. Are you double jointed?
No. I am ambidextrous, however

22. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
yourealltools

23. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
I have ten

24. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Pet rats... surprisingly cute, clever, affectionate, and low-maintenance

25. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Not intentionally

26. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
I prefer to be blunt and direct. No mincing of words if possible. And if attractively female, with a kiss

27. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED.
*ahem* "SIXTY-NINE, DUUUUDE!" *way gnarly air guitar*

28. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Redheads

29. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
Tony

30. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
Yes

31. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Redheads. Actually, attractive women in general. And zombie movies

32. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
One of my customers is an "International Fitness and Swimwear Model". And I got Tony Dorsett's autograph, and shared a Veteran's Day Parade reviewing stand with Mayor Oscar Goodman while in my USMC Service Alphas :-D

33. FIRST JOB?
"Welcome to Papa John's, Pecos and Bonanza! My name is Hess. How may I help you?"

34. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No

35. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Watching the best Worst Monday Night Football game EVER. The Dolphins held the Steelers SCORELESS until the LAST 20 SECONDS OF THE GAME!

36. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
I had two catheters shoved up my femoral veins into my heart between my junior and senior years. Does that count?

37. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
Complimented?

38. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Clothes, actually. Trousers, socks, skivvies... stuff I can use. Ooooo... and a tie :-)

39. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
2 boys, preferably; Harold Edward Sherrod the IV and Chester Carlos Sherrod (If those aren't bad enough, I have others! Edwin Neil, Richard Bong, Saburu von Manfred, Chuck Glenn, Smedley Daniel, Samuel Nicholas, James Tiberius, Apollo Atreides... I could go all day *mwahahahaha*)

40. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I'm Harold Edward Sherrod III... what do you think?

41. Do you wish on stars?
No. I wish FOR them.

42. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I'm a guy. I could care less as long as it's legible

43. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Corned beef... which begs the question: How does one "corn" beef? (That's "corn", not "cornhole", you filthy-minded pigs. Yeesh.)

44. ANY BAD HABITS?
Where does one begin?? Self-deprecation, for one...

45. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF?
I don't honestly know... but I'm leaning towards a definite "maybe"

46. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Legos. Still are!

47. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
Gods... over a hundred?

48. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
No, never!

49. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Right now, Chuck. What can I say? I love blondes :-D

50. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Medieval Madness from Rite-Aid

51. HAVE YOU GOT ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES??
WTF kind of question is that? *attemps to flip the bird, comes up one short*

52. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
I have a laptop. It's everywhere I want to be

53. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
Hmmm... I'm filling out a survey on MySpace. What do you THINK the answer to that one is??

54. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE RIDDEN IN A CAR?
I think around 115

55. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
Dethklok

56. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Mmm... egg nog...

57. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Marc, actually

58. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
Ex-girlfriends and stupidity. Oh wait... it appears I repeat myself...

59. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR?
None

60. EYE COLOR?
Mine are brown. Guess I'm full of $h!+

61. FAVORITE SHOES?
Ones that fit comfortably and are durable?

62. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
Roberto's Taco Shop... even if I have to pay a visit to John's room a predictable interval thereafter

63. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
Joe's Crab Shack

64. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
I once was offered the opportunity to dine on fine sushi off the stomach of the sexiest woman I have ever had the pleasure of... *ahem* pleasuring.

I refused.

65.LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
"Chuck" and the aforementioned Best Worst MNF game EVER

66. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Can't think of one

67. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Just the voicebox

68. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
Conservative

69. KISSES OR HUGS?
Depends upon from whom they are recieved

70. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
A roast beef sandwich from Capriotti's

71. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
"Blood Bound" by Patricia Briggs

72. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE?
--------> <--------

There, did you see that?? Empty and painful.

Through the course of my adventures, I stumble upon (or am blessed to hear directly) certain Words Of Great Power... "quotes" to the layman. This is one of these, posted here that it may enlighten the heathen for ages yet to be:

"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."
- James D. Nicoll

Every 10th of November, US Marines gather to celebrate our birthday, the formation of our beloved Corps. 2007 marks the 232nd such birthday, and this year I'd like to do something a little different by presenting the first Commandant's Birthday Message from Gen John A Lejeune, followed by the address from our current Commandant, Gen James T Conway. Read on, and enjoy!

'On November 1st. 1921, John A. Lejeune, 13th Commandant of the Marine Corps, directed that a reminder of the Corps be published by every command, to all Marines throughout the globe, on the Birthday of the Corps. Since the day, Marines have continued to distinguish themselves on many battlefields and foreign shores, in war and peace. On this Birthday of the Corps, therefore, in compliance with the will of the 13th Commandant, Article 38 United States Marine Corps Manual, Edition of 1921, is published as follows:

"On November 10, 1775, a Corps of Marines was created by a resolution of the Continental Congress. Since that date many thousands of men have borne that name Marine. In memory of them it is fitting that we who are Marines should commemorate the Birthday of our Corps by calling to mind the glories of its long and illustrious history.

The record of our Corps is one which bear comparison with that of the most famous military organizations in the world's history. During 90 of the 146 years of its existence the Marine Corps has been in action against the Nation's foes. From the Battle of Trenton to the Argome, Marines have won foremost honors in war and in the long era of tranquility at home generation after generation of Marines have grown gray in war in both hemispheres, and in every corner of the seven seas so that our country and its citizens might enjoy peace and security.

In every battle and skirmish since the Birth of the Corps, Marines have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors on each occasion until the term "Marine" has come to signify all that is highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue.

This high name of distinction and soldierly repute we who are Marines today have received from those who preceded us in the Corps. With it we also received from them the eternal spirit which has animated our Corps from generation and has long been the distinguishing mark of Marines in every age. So long as that spirit continues to flourish Marines will be found equal to every emergency in the future as they have been in the past, and the me of our nation will regard us as worthy successors to the long line of illustrious men who have served as "Soldiers of the Sea" since the founding of the Corps."'

'Since the birth of our Nation, our liberty has been purchased by valiant men and women of deep conviction, great courage, and bold action; the cost has often been in blood and tremendous sacrifice.  As America's sentinels of freedom, United States Maries are counted among the finest legions in the chronicles of war.  Since 1775, Marines have marched boldly to the sounds of guns and have fought fiercely and honorably to defeat the scourge of tyranny and terror.  We are Marines—that is what we do.

     In the words of President John F. Kennedy: "In the long history of the world, only a few generations have been granted the role of defending freedom in its hour of maximum danger."  Magnificent heroes fought in the wheat fields of Belleau Wood, in the snows of the Chosin, and on the streets of Hue City.  Your generation bears this obligation now, and it is borne on mighty and capable shoulders,  Just like the Marines at Belleau Wood—we are once again engaged in sustained operations ashore.  Just like Belleau Wood—Marines have been given the toughest sector and have prevailed over a resilient and determined enemy—who has made us pay for our gains.  Once again, as in any struggle, the road ahead is far from certain, but as Marines, we are not dissuaded by the challenges of war or the tough conditions of a warrior's life.  Indeed, we don't just accept our destiny—we shape it.

     On our 232nd birthday, to every Marine—those still in uniform and those who have served honorable in the past—be proud of who you are and what you do.  Know that your citizenship dues have been paid in full; you are part of this Nation's elite warrior class.  Cherish our families who offer marvelous support, abiding resolve, and steadfast patience.  Remember those who have served and those who have fallen—their names are chiseled on the roll call of America's heroes.  Those who have carried the battle colors of our Corps have forged our heritage, and today's generation of leathernecks chart our future.  Carry the colors with pride; carry them with honor.

      Happy Birthday Marines!'

Tonight was another important "last" in my life as a Marine: my last Birthday Ball in the Corps. If I ever go to another one (doubtful, but certainly not improbable), it'll be in Navy Blue.

It's hard to tell how this makes me feel. I spent my entire childhood dreaming of, and preparing for, being a Marine. I've spent my entire adult life in my beloved Corps... but now I feel like I am best served (and can best serve) elsewhere.

It was a tough decision, choosing not to re-enlist in the Marines. Truthfully, I question it nearly every day. How can I in good conscience allow Marines I trained alongside to go into harm's way without me? How will I live with myself if a man, a friend, a comrade, a Marine, dies when I could possibly have been there to help preserve his life... or stop the bullet for him? I would gladly give my life to protect any of the Marines in Weapons Platoon, Fox Company... in fact, any Marine, even the few I personally dislike. Perhaps this is why it's time for me to leave; a man who is willing (eager, perhaps?) to die may not be trusted to just do his job when it hits the fan. Heroics have a time and place, but isn't coming home alive and mission completed more important than a shiny piece of metal on some brightly colored cloth and a flag for my Dad?

The MOS I intend to go into in the Navy should keep me far enough away from the "front line" (as nebulous a concept as that is in guerrilla warfare) as to negate my "natural" tendency (born of intense self-hatred) to sacrifice my unworthy self "that others may live". The suicidal teenager has been externally replaced by an adult who wishes to live, build a family, and someday die of natural causes... but his voice lives on inside me. I think it's time for a military specialty that will teach me skills with actual civilian applications and keep me further from the temptation to "die gloriously". I think the last five years in the Infantry have given me a bloodlust that has rotted my soul and left me incompletely capable of functioning in a civilian society. All my failed attempts at relationships with "nice girls" have convinced me that while I may have qualities they find attractive, the whole package is alien and... terrifying. It's time to change that.

That being said, I will always love the Marine Corps. The experiences I have had while serving have changed me utterly, and mostly for the better. People I've met, sands I have trod, memories I have shared will be with me always. I hope I can stay true to the finest traditions of the grand fraternity of which I am a humble member, the United States Marine Corps. Ooh Rah!