One out every four New Zealand girls is sexually abused.

On the one hand, this is not particularly surprising to me. Here in the United States, it's either estimated at 1 in every 3 of girls, or 1 in every 4 of girls in the U.S. are abused by the time they're 16.

It is still unacceptable, however! That is an overwhelming amount of survivors for a country that is not that populated as the United States. I urge you all to get involved in your communities to end child sexual abuse. I would like to point you to my volunteer activity suggestions. (I know I need to spruce up that section some more; I just rarely have the time these days!) I would like to see ALL of you get involved. Whether you're a New Zealander or not; whether you're female or male; regardless of your ethnic background, or your religion, it matters not! Action is a must, all over this planet!

We could throw statistics out there all we want; but it would still fail to convey the pain, suffering, and destruction experienced by survivors of child sexual abuse.

Today I call on you to look around your settings and ask how you can make a difference!

When I read things like this, it just makes me want to work harder to do my part.

Good morning everyone!

Yesterday Marj of Survivors Can Thrive posted the 1st anniversary Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse. Included is my entry about Father's Day.

Also, and I am very proud to share this, I was one of Marj's Top Carnival Participants, because I've submitted entries since the beginning and hosted the carnival myself in February 2007.

The carnival edition was also dedicated to the memory of Jodi Larson, the artist and CSA survivor behind the Show of Hands art project. Her memory will love on in every life she touched.

Prepare for me to start blogging more often since I have time now! :)

Father's Day. Not the easiest of days for many, many survivors of the various forms of child abuse.

I've decided I would write today about how I, as a survivor of emotional and physical abuse from my Dad, have learned to cope with Father's Day (and the general issue of fatherlessness) over the years.

As I said, I am survivor, and as can be expected, Father's Day has been really hard for me. In the post The day I nearly died. *T*, I wrote about a brutal act comitted against me by my father. And I haven't really covered this in Blessed Fearscapes (but there is some of it at www.aswaterspassingby.org) but I dealt with verbal abuse as well. I spent years living in fear of my father.

My issues with Father's Day did not really start until after I was 12 years old, after my father had died of cancer. The violence and the horrible words I'd been subjected to had stopped by then. Amazingly, it was that cancer that it took to break the bands of addiction that had nightly changed Dad from a loving father into a monster.

After his death I was left wanting and needing a Dad. He had passed away just as I was approaching my teenage years. Like most teenagers my life was filled with turmoil. My attitude stunk to high heaven, and I acted like I didn't need anyone, but when left alone, I would get that teary lump in my throat as the need for a father and the emptiness without him became unavoidable.

Years after his passing, I converted to Christianity, and created a whole new arena of struggle for me. I now spent my Sundays in a church, and especially Father's Days where my Pastor was exhorting the men of the congregation to be better fathers. Every Father's Day became a day for tears.

And yet, that same enviroment was a healing one. Our Pastor has introduced the fatherless in our church to the concept of God the Father. And he continues to encourage the men of the church to love their children; to be better fathers.

I also discovered the book Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul, by John and Stasi Eldredge, a book which deals with the concept of wounded femininity, and the whole that a violent father plays in such a condition. It put things in perspective.

One thing that has helped is that while Father's Day is still a crying day for me, I have let go of the rage. There is still a hurt, and I deal with it as it comes, but I am not self-destructing from lack of proper fathering.

If I could encourage women who've been in similar situations, I would say you can heal, and to men who are fathers or will be, or want to be, please know that you have such an impact on generations of women (and men) by how you father your children. If you are a brute, your daughter will live in anger and fear as I did. If you are gentle, if you step up to the plate, she will be confident and happy. You can make a difference.

To those who celebrate Father's Day, I hope yours was excellent, and if not, then I wish you peace on that day from this point forward.

With love,
Annaleigh

Hi everybody,

I recently recieved this PM from Phyllis Benton, author of Living Nightmares of Abuse. She and her husband are in serious financial straits and need all the help they can get. Please check out the PM for more info.

SUBJECT: WE NEED HELP

My husband, David, was diagnosed with bladder caner in December of 2005. After undergoing major surgery and several months of recovery, he was able to go back to work. Less than two months ago, we found out that his cancer has reoccurred. His doctor told him that he would probably never be able to work again and he should probably go on disability. He was approved but he will not see a check for eight months.

David was on my medical insurance where I worked. I lost my job along with other permanent employees from out sourcing. In order to keep our medical insurance we have to pay $625.00 a month. I am out of a job but can collect unemployment for a while. There is no way that I alone, can pay our bills, medical insurance, doctor bills, and buy food for us to eat. We need to keep our medical insurance because of David's cancer, his treatments and office visits.

We need help. We are asking for charity, donations of any size to help us through this time. I have set up a website at: http://www.myspace.com/helpplease1 Please visit the site to read more about our situation and to get information where to send donations.

We really thank you all for taking the time to read this and any help that you can give us is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Phyllis and David Benton

Thanks in advance for looking at their space!

Hi to everyone who reads my blog, this one, and the Blessed Fearscapes blog which contains pretty much the same info as here.

My life got extremely busy following the start of the new semester. My workload got very hectic. I am dating again. Haullie and I have started working towards having a Silver Braid group but haven't had much success yet.

My fatigue got worse as the semester drew to a close, and this is due in part to me having an anniversary in May. It is the anni of the event I described in Voices of Strength.

I fully intend to resume blogging. I have worked on my survivor site a little bit here and there, but now I will have more time to do what I'd like to do. I also need to be setting up a budge for AWPB and SilverBraid expenses, and plan to do that soon. I also need to do more to the Silver Braid of Delano site. Haullie is helping me with that, so I need to give her time.

Anyway, that's what's up with me. I hope you all will continue reading the blog! :)

Please read this all the way through.

Womens Safety Education Group does free safety seminars that teach

*Awareness and Empowerment
*Local statistics
*How to deter an attacker using your voice and body language.
*How to get out of holds and grabs.
*Date Rape and Date Rape drugs
*Deffensive Weapons

and more! These presentations are fun, informative and free! The more people we can reach, the less victims there will be. Men are welcome and encouraged to come. We preffer groups of 20 or more, but smaller groups are welcome.

We have done these presentations for Curves health clubs, MOPS groups, Sororities, and many other groups and businesses. If you have a book club, a PTA, a Choir class, a Church Group, or just a bunch of friends, PLEASE give us a call. You will not be sorry.

These are the cities and zip codes we have presenters. If you are within 50 miles of any of these zip codes please call and find out if we can set you up with a presentation.

NV Carson City 89704
WA Olympia 98502
WA Seattle 98125
VT St. Albans 05478
CA San Pablo 94806
CA Moraga 94556
CA Mountain View 94043
CA Walnut Creek 94598
CA Santa Rosa 95405
ID Boise 83704
CO Littleton 80120
CO Denver 80206
AZ Mesa 85212

To learn more about Women's Safety Education Group, to set up a free presentation, or to apply to work with WSEG as a booker, or a presenter. Go to www.wseg.com or call us at 1-800-353-1878