Into the Cornfield
I wished myself...asshole me
Back on concrete - YES!

I

So, after years and years and years and years and years and years of playing the drums, you finally got to go into a studio to create a full-length, honest to goodness, fuckin' "A" cd.  And it was going to have major distribution (not just beggin' your friends to buy one - which doesn't hurt in any case).

Battershell always laid down demos of songs before going in to record "the real thing".  But you joined Battershell after the demos for Sunshine in Popopia had been recorded.  Tammy Lynn and Jamie went up to Freudian Slip Records in Nanuet, NY with good bud Kevin Lacey and recorded demos of many of the songs that would become the bulk of Sunshine in Popopia.

Actually, Battershell had recorded an ep with Kevin a year or so before - a 4 song, low-fi gem called The Beautiful Princess of Spit.

Ya see, after Tammy Lynn took a bus from California to NYC in 1994 with only a couple of bucks in her pocket (she could have had "Welcome to the Jungle" blaring out of boom box following her around because it was exactly the same scenario), she befriended some people that would become quite influential on her song writing and would become part of Battershellian lore.  They were (in no particular order):

1.  Virg - Funky-fresh guitarist of the band Yummy, oftentime road manager for Battershell, drinking and drooling buddy par excellence, and, sadly, a member of the dead rocker's society that includes all the greats in Rock and Roll (love you, Virg).

2.  Matt - Dread-locked drummer for the Nirvana of the east coast, Johnny Bravo, best friend of Virg's and early recording drummer for Battershell.

3.  Ansley and Bran - Twin musical prodigies of Johnny Bravo and early influences on Tammy Lynn's song writing.

4.  Tina - KICK ASS MUTHA GUITARIST, early Battershellian, one of Tammy Lynn's roommates, future guitarist for Helldorado (Tammy's hubby's band) and the best damn haircutter that Charlie ever had.

5.  Kevin Lacey - Talented engineer and producer of Freudian Slip Recording Studios and one of the calmest individuals on the planet (in the face of what was at times, CERTAIN LUNACY).

Don't want this blog to be too long, so keep your lips moist for some more in a day or so...

if you need to satisfy
your hunger for something swell
then look no further my children
than the very first song by BATTERSHELL

(alright, it wasn't the very first recorded song by BATTERSHELL, but it was the first song with Charlie on the drums, but since there is very little record of BATTERSHELL B.C. - before Charlie - then, in essence, the song i'm gonna tell you to listen to is basically the first recorded BATTERSHELL song...c'mon, just humor me)

the sound is so sweet
so appealing, so dandy
that the song could only be
BATTERSHELL's version of "I Want Candy"

so go back a few blogs
if you want to know some more
about how this song came to be...
a little BATTERSHELLIAN trivia and lore

it is the first song
on the BATTERSHELL page
and it will bring back good memories
from the BATTERSHELL "luv punk" age

go, go, go, right now
listen and listen all day
because as of right now
i have nothing else to say

Ha Ha...made you read!

Sadly, you don't think there will ever be a Battershell reunion (sniff) - not because the remaining members of Battershell don't get along; you all do (love writing in the 2nd person narrative form). Simply, Battershellians have taken different musical and life paths and it doesn't appear that the Battershell part of all of your various existences will cross paths again.

Timeout from the 2nd person: I started this blog to basically bring to print the history and story of Battershell. Maybe one of these days someone will read this blog and think that the story is worthy of a movie, book deal, or at least buying the blogger a cup of coffee. I plan on sticking to a rough timeline of Battershellian history, but every once in a while I can't help go off course and "time-trip"...this is one of those times. This is what the last incarnation of Battershell is up to as of today (enjoy the vids, too):

Tammy Lynn

Tammy Lynn (aka, the beautiful princess of spit) is kicking major, holy booty for the lord right now with a christian rockabilly band, Motel Jesus. She and her husband, Glen (formerly of Helldorado) are spreading the word of Jesus by ministering to the poor around San Francisco. Now, personally, I have no place in my life for religion or a belief in a higher power, but when it comes to helping people out, I'm all for it, and I tip my luv punk hat to Tammy and Glen for reaching out to people in need - they are both amazing people. Check out this vid for a taste of what they are doing now (the drummer on the track is amazing ):

The Silver Rockets



The Netherlands



The Electric Mood Maidens

Charlie

Charlie is the unsung hero of Battershell (now I get to talk about myself in the 3rd person narrative - yes!). He and Tammy saw Battershell through thick and thin - bass player implosions, late-night hospital throat inspections, Canadian spies, and the death of our beloved road manager and guitarist from Yummy - Virg. And as much as Charlie would love to have continued down the full-time path of music like Tammy and Hannah, he has had to think of providing food for his wife and kids, so he is currently a teacher of English (hey, even Tammy thanked him for helping to build her vocabulary). But, every once in a while, he does something musical like playing drums on Motel Jesus' second cd. He is even known to bust out a guitar (univox, of course) and entertain students on holidays. Here is clip from a camera phone (note the Ramones shirt - with Richie's name...the unsung hero of the Ramones):

Batilogue

Although Batteshell will most likely never reunite, IT IS MY DUTY AS DRUMMER, KEEPER OF THE BEAT, TO MAKE SURE THAT BATTERSHELL LIVES IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM! As soon as I catch up with technology and transfer analog video footage to digital, I have FIVE YEARS of Battershell footage to share with all of you - whether you want it or not! In the meantime, I leave you with the following "homemade" vid to satisy any cravings you may have for Battershell - thanks to all the Luv Punks who are still out there keeping the faith:

Hey, you guys are going to be on an Elektra Records compilation of one-hit-wonder cover songs - Henry Rollins, RuPaul, Fountains of Wayne are gonna be on it!

Ahhh...if only it were true.  Well, it was going to be true, and the whole cd was finished and ready to roll, but, sadly, Elektra shelved it at the last minute.  Fuckers...

But, officially, it was your first recording session with Battershell and you had only been in the band for a month or so.  The song you guys recorded was "I Want Candy" - originally recorded by the Strangeloves in 64 but then covered and brought to greater fame by Bow Wow Wow in 82...killer song.  Battershell's version was a little different...real heavy Bo Diddley beat in the beginning, grooving along, and then a tempo change to a thrashy chorus.  Great friggin' version!  People loved it live.

You made the mistake of partying way too much the night before and came into the session with a body crying out for peace, comfort and massive amounts of aspirin (you learned an important lesson and never did that again before recording).  The whole thing was recorded at Baby Monster studios and it was the first time you guys worked with Tim O'heir (All American Rejects, Lou Barlow and whole bunch of known musician types).  You actually met Tim a few weeks before when you played a gig up in Cambridge, Mass at the Middle East Room.  Your drumset kept inching away from you that night because the club didn't provide a rug and you were playing on bare floor - a major no-no.  You got so pissed off as you were trying to hit toms that were two feet away from you that you jumped off the kit and got on the mic and asked if someone in the audience had a hammer and nails (sarcastically) - BUT HOLY SHIT...SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE DID HAVE A HAMMER AND NAILS...FRIGGIN' WEIRD!!!  So you anchored your set to the stage and continued playing.  Tim must have thought you guys were the wackiest band.

Well, the session lasted all day to record the one song - which didn't do your aching head and body any good.  But the results were AWESOME.  So long story short, all the artists have recorded their songs and the thing is ready and Elektra pulls the cord on it.  What a shame!  How many other killer albums and cds have been shelved over the past fifty years?  Someone should go dust those babies off and release 'em.  It would be better than just about everything that is out right now (grumbling like an old man).

But, all is not lost...YOU HAVE THE RECORDING OF BATTERSHELL'S "I WANT CANDY"!!!, but, it is on tape and you don't have the means to transfer it to digital just yet, damn.  BUT, HOPEFULLY ONE OF THESE DAYS YOU WILL GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO IT!!!

I want sleep.

"I try to please people, to give them a good time, but I refuse to make my act conform to traditional show-biz standards of entertainment. There's a little voice that says, 'Oh, no, you can't do that, that's breaking all the rules.' That's the voice of show business. Then this other little voice says, 'Try it.' And most of the time, when the voice comes on and says, 'No,' that's the time it works."

- Andy Kaufman

Someone over the 4th of July weekend told you that they "didn't get Andy Kaufman," especially the Mighty Mouse bit.  What the...?

Anyway,

Battershell wasn't your typical band, if there is such a thing.  Tammy Lynn's approach to everything was generally counter-intuitive; it was one of the things that you found most fascinating about her, generally.  She didn't have a "traditional" upbringing and most certainly didn't cruise through life on the road most traveled.  She was the crazy, genius, generous, petulant, innocent, psychotic, talented, jealous, narcissistic, shy, overbearing, loveable sister that you wished you never had...and didn't, until she adopted you.  Family is forever.

Anyway II,

Battershell tried to make it, to become famous.  Not because we sought riches, not because we wanted to satiate our lust for anything specific (really), but because we wanted to be, well...famous.  Period.  And we tried anything that we could think of to do it.  It was our boon and our bane: we gained more fame because of our efforts than we probably would have, but we worked harder than most bands in doing so and the disappointment was often much greater.  But doing things our own way, in retrospect reminds me of Andy Kaufman.  We might not have become famous for faking a song on TV, but we didn't conform to "the traditional", either, and because of that, life was and is generally better.  Thanks, Mighty Mou...I mean, Tammy Lynn.

"Most of the artists I happened upon were unremarkable, but one group, Battershell, who played the Middle East Saturday, was a lot of fun. This female-fronted, new wave punk trio work a vein similar to Blondie, the Go-Go's and Hole. Guitarist Tammy Lynn alternated chugging chord progressions with brittle riffs. Her singing voice balanced bitchiness, vulnerability and melody. Smells like a "modern rock" hit. Battershell's debut album, Sunshine in Popia, is on Ng records."

Philadelphia CityPaper.net

That was a review from your 2nd gig - The Philadelphia Music Conference (picture of Jamie - pre show).  Only your second gig with Battershell and it was a friggin' music conference out of state...nice.  Just before joining Battershell, your biggest round of gigs had been a Thanksgiving weekend of playing CBGBs, Woody's and February's on Long Island (does anybody remember Feb's? - if you do, you obviously didn't take full advantage of "dollar Bud Tuesdays").  Good shit was def. happening.

But as good as the review says the band performed, you didn't believe it about your own performance.  Your snare drum broke in mid-song, you dropped some sticks and Tammy and Jamie abandoned your ass after the gig to flirt with some dudes (the last thing you remembered seeing was someone eating-out Tammy's candy...her candy necklace, perverts).

Being an egotist with low self-esteem, you thought you had f***ed up the gig by not getting everything right.  You drove back to NYC that night certain that your days in the band were numbered.  Man, you were hard on yourself.  In hindsight, the gig was a success and nothing that you did or didn't do screwed anything up.  Shit, wouldn't it be great if hindsight was foresight and everything that you learned through experience was everything that you know now and didn't have to wait to learn, and then the world would be soooo perfect and peace and love would exude from the skin of every living creature and hate would turn into mate and then we'd all be having sexcellent relations with one another and...and...and...

Attention

All wackiness aside: life is too short, friends are too precious, happiness is too important to let the small shit bother you - and other than groups of people who want to hurt others in any way, shape or form, it's all small shit!

That is a pic from your very first gig with Battershell - New Hampshire State University...a frat-house party.

You waited by the Clearview Expressway in Queens - your first gig with the band would take you on a five hour drive in chilly, autumn rain to New England.  You went up with Tammy, Jamie and Steve, a friend of the Phoids (who were also playing the frat gig).

You had been playing in NY bands since the late 80s and the farthest you had ever traveled to play a gig was the Bronx no less.  Now, here you were sitting in a car that was making its way up to New Hampshire to play your first show with Battershell.  Five hours is a long time so you pulled out some papers to grade.  Yeah, that's right.  You were a teacher in Brooklyn and nothing says "career change" like pulling out a stack of essays to grade on the way to a gig, but I leave speculation on that for a later blog. 

Tammy looked at you like you had just shit yourself and was asking someone to clean up the mess.  She couldn't believe she was in a band with a teacher who was grading papers.  You tried to laugh off her disbelief, but you could tell she was pretty grossed out - as if somewhere deep in her past she had experienced some horrible school-like trauma...examinations? recitations? molestations?  You had no clue.

After finally getting there, you met up with the frat brats and started playing in a small barn with a tent extension.  The rain was torrential and there was only enough room in the barn for the band and the equipment.  The frat had constructed the makeshift tent to shelter some of the audience.  It wasn't Radio City, but it worked...until the cops came and shut down the gig because of the noise after only 3 or 4 songs.  Fuck.  Battershell was using the Phoids' equipment so we all grabbed stuff and carried it into the frat house and set up shop in a small, dirty living room.  The Phoids jumped on their stuff and started blasting out some raucous melodies that soon had college kids slamming and body surfing all over that damn little room.  Kids were crammed in tight and loving every moshing minute.  Battershell re-took the "stage" and thrusted out the rest of the set and more.  It was a great first gig.  The vibe was so good from behind the kit that you psuedo-ironically wound up sleeping there on the floor after a post show night of partying.  Hey, nothing says you love drumming like waking up the next morning with your arms and legs wrapped around your drum stool.  But there is one def. thing that you learned that has stuck all these years - El gato negro esta fumando en el mailboxio.  'Nough said.

It's been over 15 years since you started playing drums in Battershell.  You don't even know if you are "officially in the band," do you?  They never told you and you never asked...

THIS STRIKES YOU SO LATE
AS THE GUY WITH THE BROOM
SWEEPS YOU AND THE BOTTLES
RIGHT OUT OF THE ROOM

It's years before this photo would even be taken of all of you, so stop jumping the gun and get back to the story.  But Mick Rock rules, doesn't he?

Anyway...

You got in your car and shot over to Manhattan to check out this band Battershell at a club called Under Acme.  Acme was a restaurant and the club was literally "under Acme."

There weren't many people in the place, but over in the corner near the stage was a little group of downton denizens that looked like they were musicians in a "Yeah, we're musicians.  Now go screw yourself and leave us alone!" kind of way (little did I know it, but the group was comprised of most of the Phoids, labelmates and future touring buddies of Battershell and good guys underneath the FU exterior).  You went over and asked for Tammy Lynn of Battershell and there she was - the hyped-up girl that was on the phone - blonde and brash in her country overalls.  She introduced you to everyone and, once they realized you were here for a specific purpose, not just to bug the crap out of them, they welcomed you into the conversation - especially Jac Phoid (thanks, Jac).

The drummer playing with Battershell that night was the drummer for the Phoids, Mike (later to be discovered to be the president of Ng Records).  The bass player was a girl named Jamie - really friendly and damn, damn cute.

After bs-ing for a while, Battershell took the stage and, succinctly, proceeded to make you swallow your tongue in anticipation of being in the band.  Tammy Lynn onstage was this shy, "bow your head and don't look at the audience" guitar goddess.  She cranked out tune after tune with crunch after crunch of distorted guitar greatness that would have made Kurt Cobain's wilting left nut impressed.  Jamie smiled away as she tackled awesome bass lines with ease.  Mike wasn't your competition, so you actually thought nice thoughts about his drumming.

At the moment Tammy Lynn played her last chord of the night, you jumped onstage and told them, "I want in."