I feel like a disclaimer is necessary before I begin this rant. There are many people who think that the critics must be being too harsh on this film. With Roger Ebert’s classic review yesterday and the 22% rating on the Tomatometer, the critics MUST be wrong. Clearly they were expecting too much from the Explosion King Michael Bay. I mean, what do they want from a sequel to a movie based on a cartoon series based on a children’s toy line?

As a critic myself, let me just start out by saying that I wasn’t expecting anything except:
1. Big giant really cool looking robots
2. Big giant really cool looking fight scenes
3. Big giant really cool looking explosions

Really, all I was hoping for was a rehash of the first Transformers movie, which I totally enjoyed. It was fun, it was funny, it had a really basic plot, and it had lots of the big giant really cool looking robots/fight scenes/explosions.

Just in case I haven’t been clear, my expectations for Transformers 2 were not the same expectations that I have for say an Oscar nominated movie. They were more like the expectations that I’d have for an MTV movie award nominated movie. And at this year’s MTV movie awards, Twilight beat out Slumdog Millionaire for Best Movie. Yeah, expectations like that.

It still didn’t measure up.

There was entirely too much cursing. The first Transformers movie had just a little too much cursing anyway. Just enough that I cringe every time I’ve watched it with a child under 13, but not enough that the kids themselves really picked up on it. One or two can fly under the radar fairly easily. This time around, it’s not only the humans that are cussing too much, it’s also the robots. “Bitch”, “shit”, “asshole”, and even “pussy” are used way too frequently. So much that it borders on rated R language.

Then there are the other things. I’m sure you’ve heard by now of the Jar Jar Binks of Transformers 2, “The Twins”, Mudflap and Skids. They are two rough looking robots who speak in “ebonics” and all they do is insult each other and fight with each other. They are supposed to provide “comic relief”, but every time they came onscreen, I just wished the scene would change.

Speaking of comic relief, what happened to Bumblebee? In the first movie, he provides much of the comic relief, with his relationship with Sam. In RotF, he shows up only to whisk Sam away from whatever battle is going on in the background. Bumblebee has one scene that is genuinely funny, when Sam and a girl from his college are in the car together. This scene is towards the beginning of the film before it really starts going downhill.

When does it go downhill you ask? Well the first 30 minutes or so of the movie are actually really entertaining. They manage to capture the fun of the first movie. Most of this time is spent at Sam’s home, as he is getting ready to go to college and his parents are trying to adjust. Then we arrive at college and things are still going OK as we are introduced to Sam’s bizarre roommate. Here’s where things go downhill: When you see Sam’s mom (who I love, by the way. She was so funny in the first movie and has been funny in this movie up until now) come into Sam’s dorm room with a baggie full of reefer brownies. In her stoned stupor, she goes downstairs and tries to get girls to come to Sam’s room by announcing that he’s “just had his cherry popped”. The WTF face that you make while watching this uncomfortable scene will remain on your face as you watch the remainder of the film.

And the remainder of the film is a lot longer than you think. We saw the film last night at the 9:20 pm show. When we were walking to our car and I flipped on my phone, it was 12:02 am. The last third of the movie, which is supposed to be the most action packed with all the final fight scenes, drags the most. I don’t want to give away any spoilers, but I’ll just say that the biggest of the big fight scenes in the movie is very disappointing. It lasts about one minute. The final fight scene at the end of the first movie, the one in the middle of downtown LA, was a million times better.

I've even left out some of the more ridiculous parts of the movie!

Like when the teeny little Decepticon calls Megan Fox his "Warrior Goddess" and then humps her leg while saying, "Who's a good little Autobot?"

And the part when the ancient robot who comes to life and farts. Yes, he farts. And when he farts, he shoots a parachute out his behind. Not funny.

And the part where Sam's annoying roommate and Megan Fox fall down, and Megan Fox falls with her face in his crotch. And instead of making the obvious joke, Annoying Roommate says, "You're on my testicles." Then holds them in pain.

Annoying Roommate also gets tased in the "testicles". Awesome.

Annoying Roommate also gets tased in the neck. Is Annoying Roommate down for the count? Unfortunatley no.

We get to see John Turturro in a thong. So now I can cross that off my Bucket List.

There is really nothing redeeming about this film. Nothing. I would really like to forget that I saw it. This is not a movie to take your kids to. Hell, this is not a movie for YOU to go to.


 

It is so rare in horror movies that you actually care about the characters enough to want them to survive the movie. Call it morbid, but that’s what us horror fans love to see: everyone die horrible, gruesome, bloody deaths. Shuttle started out as a typical horror movie, with me rooting for the bad guy to kill everyone. But then it shifted in one of the many plot twists in the movie and I ended up caring about the remaining characters so much that I hoped that they’d live.



This movie was VERY good. Read the rest of the review at the DVD Lounge.

The Tale of Despereaux recalls so many great animated films. The story features a mouse and a chef in France, animated in muted tones, evoking memories of Pixar’s Ratatouille. The fractured fairy tale element reminded me of Shrek; Princess Pea and her unlikely suitor is a similar situation to Princess Fiona’s. Despereaux is a small mouse who doesn’t let his size hold him back from his dreams, an idea that is used in many films like An American Tail, The Secret of NIMH, even Charlotte’s Web. While the book The Tale of Despereaux is a highly praised Newberry Award winning children’s book, the film is not of the caliber of its source material or the other films that it borrows from.

Read the rest of the review at the DVD Lounge!

“Oh, I didn’t run away. I’m going back to my real home on Sesame Street where I belong.” - Big Bird
Some kids want to visit Hollywood to meet all their favorite actors and actresses. Some kids want to visit Hollywood so they can be a famous actor or actress themselves. Me? I wanted to go to New York. Not for the tall buildings or the Statue of Liberty or Broadway, no. When I asked my mom the eternal question, “How DO you get to Sesame Street?” She replied, “That’s in New York City, honey.” My mind was made up. I was going to Sesame Street. When Follow That Bird was first released into theaters, I was five years old. Now the movie is 25 years old and I’m still rooting for Big Bird just like I was when I was five.
Read the rest at the DVD Lounge!

Every month, I post a list of the movies I watched during the previous month, and give a star rating and a short review for each one. I've been doing this for two years now and I still enjoy doing it. Here are the movies I watched during the month of February 2009:

Frost/Nixon (2008) - 4 stars - This is SO not my "type" of movie, but I was still able to enjoy it. Langella should have reprised his role of Nixon in Watchmen. Nobody else can play Nixon like Langella.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) - 2 stars - This was my first time at a drive-in theater! The 2 stars is mostly because I was running back and forth from the concession stand because we spilled a coke in the backseat and needed paper towels. What I saw of the movie wasn't all that funny. Oh well. I'll watch again on DVD cuz I loves Kevin James.

Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous (2009) - 1 star - Never heard of this? I don't blame you. It's a Jessica Simpson straight to DVD movie that's really pretty terrible. The Review is here: http://thedvdlounge.com/20....09/02/20/private-valentine....-blonde-and-dangerous-dvd-....review/

College (2008) - 2 stars - This wasn't as bad as I thought, but not very good either. The review is here: http://thedvdlounge.com/20....09/03/11/college-dvd-revie....w/

Surfer, Dude (2008) - 1 star - This is pretty much Matthew McConaughey being Matthew McConaughey. Which means he is shirtless throughout the entire film, and has random sex scenes, and smokes a lot of weed. Pretty pointless movie though. lol

Quarantine (2008) - 3.5 stars - Jeff and I watched this movie for Valentine's Day! I still owe The DVD Lounge a review though...I plan to finish it up this week.

The Reader (2008) - 2.5 stars - The more I think about this movie, the more I can't stand it.

The Visitor (2008) - 4 stars - The more I think about THIS movie, the more I like it.

Milk (2008) - 4.5 stars - I didn't know just how amazing this film would be. One of my favorites from 2008. That list will be coming next week.

The Class (2008) - 2 stars - One of the biggest disappointments for me recently. :( I really didn't like this film. I thought it was a waste. It had so much potential!

Waltz With Bashir (2008) - 4 stars - This movie completely blew me away. A very fascinating and moving film about time served in the Israeli army. The animation is great!

Revolutionary Road (2008) - 4 stars - I'm a sucker for Sam Mendes, so I really enjoyed this movie. Kate Winslet should have won the Oscar for THIS movie.

Taken (2009) - 4 stars - Now this is the kind of action movie I wanted when I watched The Bank Job the other night. I really enjoyed this one.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008) - 4.5 stars - One of my favorites from last year. I loved everything about this film: the actors, the locations, the wardrobe, the music. I was completely caught up in it and loved every minute of it.

In addition to those movies, I also re-watched:

RENT: Filmed Live On Broadway (2008) - 5 stars - Love this movie!

Igor (2008) - 3.5 stars - I like this movie a lot more after a second viewing. It's so funny! Victoria just loves it.

Annie (1982) - 4.5 stars - I watched this with Victoria one weekend and we both had a great time watching it. And I'll be damned if I didn't cry at the end.

The Addams Family Values (1994) - 3 stars - This was on ABC Family one weekend and I watched it with Victoria. She got a kick out of the dark comedy. She's such a funny little girl.

Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008) - 3.5 stars - I can't help it, I really like this movie. I watched it with my kids one Friday night and they really liked it too.

Ghostbusters (1984) - 3.5 stars - We shared this classic with the kids. Christian has asked repeatedly when we can watch it again. lol

So that's it! 14 new movies and 6 movies I had seen before. That makes, for the year, 32 new movies and 10 movies I had seen before for a total of 42 movies watched this year. And that's not including March! :)

 
The raunchy comedy has made a comeback recently, mostly thanks to Judd Apatow flicks such as The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. This latest adult comedy does not come from Apatow, but it’s still full of profanity, toilet humor, gross-out jokes, lots of nudity, and stars…a kid from Nickelodeon?
Read the rest of the review at the DVD Lounge!

Yeah I saw Watchmen last night at the midnight show. Overall, I really enjoyed it. The official rating is 4 out of 5 stars. I can't wait for the DVD so I see the uncut version, and I can't wait for the Curse of the Black Freighter DVD. Right now I'm obsessed with all things Watchmen. What I really love about the movie? It made me appreciate the book even more.
But, on the day that the biggest movie of 2009 (so far) is released, the DVD Lounge chose to publish my review of RENT: Filmed Live On Broadway. So here it is.

“Just came to say goodbye, Love.” - Mimi Marquez - RENT
RENT has been one of the most influential musicals of the past decade. It has inspired parody in Team America: World Police, it has inspired theater with recent Tony winner In the Heights, and it has inspired the lives of countless fans. RENT is a story of hope, of love, of acceptance, and is an experience not to be missed. Now Rentheads can re-live the experience of seeing RENT live on Broadway with this DVD, filmed during the final Broadway performance on September 7, 2008.
Read the rest of the review at the DVD Lounge!

It's that time of the year again, folks: Oscar time! And what comes around every year with Oscar time?

Dr. Royce Clemens' Season of the Witch series

Lots of reviews of Oscar nominated films:

The Reader
Rachel Getting Married
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Slumdog Millionaire

And Oscar Predictions:

http://www.filmarcade.net/2009/01/oscar-nominations-for-dawn-of-obama-age.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1488240/2009_oscar_predictions_slumdog_millionaire.html?cat=40
http://popcornjunkies.com/2009/02/18/r0btrains-bad-ass-cinema-friday-the-13th-musings-and-oscar-predictions/

And also, my annual live Oscar blog.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, on Oscar night (which is THIS Sunday, February 22), I will be blogging constantly throughout the awards show giving updates on winners, fashion, and whatever else catches my eye that night. I will also be posting constant (and quite possibly, annoying) updates on facebook all night long. I hope you can join me!

Every month, I've been posting a list of movies that I've watched in the previous month. I list all of the movies that I had never seen before first, then list the ones that I had seen previously. Usually it happens a little earlier than now, but it's been busy lately.  :)

Here's the list of movies I watched in January:

Beethoven's Big Break (2009) - 3 stars - I got this one from the DVD Lounge for review if I could...I still might. It was pretty clever actually. It starred Jonathan Silverman as the animal trainer on the first Beethoven movie. It was very cute.

Mirrors (2008) - 2 stars - What a disappointment of a movie. Ugh. Read the review here: http://thedvdlounge.com/2009/01/13/mirrors-dvd-review/

Towelhead (2008) - 1 star - Yet another disappointment. Read the review here: http://thedvdlounge.com/2009/01/13/towelhead-dvd-review/

Marley and Me (2008) - 3.5 stars - Not exactly the type of movie I was expecting it to be, but it was still cute. More of a rom com than anything else. Victoria was SO upset at the ending. She cried so hard. Poor baby.

Swing Vote (2008) - 3 stars - Another disappintment. All three of these movies had so much potential, just didn't live up. Read the review here: http://thedvdlounge.com/2009/02/09/swing-vote-dvd-review/

Slumdog Millionaire (2008) - 5 stars - I still haven't made my best of 2008 list, but I don't forsee anything knocking this out of the #1 slot. This is an amazing movie.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D (2009) - 4 stars - Who knew this would be THAT good? I love this movie. I can't wait to see it again.

Transsiberian (2008) - 2 stars - A predictable Hitchcock wannabe starring Ben Kingsley, Woody Harrelson, and Emily Mortimer. Another movie that had great potential.

Burn After Reading (2008) - 3.5 stars - Coen brothers movies are always hit or miss for me. I enjoyed this one much more than I expected I would, especially after last year's No Country For Old Men. I just wasn't as impressed with that movie as everyone else was. In my opinion, this is the better film overall. Javier Bardem is still a badass in that movie though.

The Duchess (2008) - 4 stars - It's scary how much this movie mirrored my life. Read the review here: http://thedvdlounge.com/2009/01/30/the-duchess-dvd-review/

Freaks (1932) - 3 stars - Holy shit, this movie freaked me out. It stuck with me longer than I expected. This is a movie from the 30's about circus stars. There are all kinds of people in here who really suffered from these abnormalities and seeing them all together is just unforgettable.

Rachel Getting Married (2008) - 3 stars - I wasn't as impressed with this as much as I hoped. Anne Hathaway did a good job and all, but I just personally did NOT like her character. Eh, maybe that means she did a better job than I'm giving her credit for but whatever. The "LOOK AT ME!!!", "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!!!" gets so old.

The Secret of the Magic Gourd (2008) - 3.5 stars - This is a Disney movie from China. It's so cute! The review for the DVD Lounge is just about done.

Hotel for Dogs (2009) - 3.5 stars - Cute cute cute. My kids loved it, I was entertained. Recommended.

Walled In (2009) - 0.5 stars - Wow, what a shitty movie. This one's coming out on DVD next month, but I was lucky enough to catch a screening in January. It stars Mischa Barton as a structural engineer (ha!) and also stars creepy Cameron Bright. The movie sucked though. Don't bother.

Man On Wire (2008) - 4 stars - Nominated for Best Documentary at this year's Oscars. It was very interesting and really held my attention. It's about Frenchman who snuck into the World Trade Center buildings and pulled off a tight-rope walk between the two towers. Some of the footage is really eerie.

The Uninvited (2009) - 2 stars - Why oh why??? Please don't see this. Please please PLEASE watch Tale of Two Sisters instead. I'm begging. If you don't know what A Tale of Two Sisters is, pm me and I just might lend you one of my TWO copies. Yes, it's that good. The Uninvited is not.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008) - 4 stars - I might reduce my rating for this movie. Thinking on it now, there are more things about it that irritated me than things that I liked. But watching the movie, I was moved to tears many times and sappy as it sounds, that pretty much clinches a good rating out of me.

So there are the new movies. Phew! In addition to those, I also re-watched:

CJ7 (2007) - 4 stars - I like this movie more and more with each viewing. This is a children's movie from China that my kids just love. It's a movie about a little boy who finds an alien with special powers. It's really great.

Men In Black (1997) - 3 stars - This was on TBS one night and Victoria and I watched it. She got a kick out of the big cockroach alien. lol

Mamma Mia! (2008) - 4 stars - I'm very biased, but I love this movie. In fact, I watched it twice in January.  :)

So that makes 18 new movies, and 22 movies total (counting Mamma Mia! twice).  

 
Keira Knightley has become a bit typecast in her career. Since doing period piece Pride and Prejudice in 2003, she has gone on to star in the immensely popular Pirates of the Caribbean series, in which she dons period costumes. The 2007 film Atonement, while Knightley remained corset-less, could also be classified as a period drama. Even though she’s branched out and done other films like The Jacket and Domino, she’s been remembered most for her period films. Some might roll their eyes at the thought of another, but 2008’s The Duchess just wouldn’t be the same without her.

Read the rest of the review at the DVD Lounge (link has been corrected)!