Thanks for reading!

But for all of you who don't know, I moved my blog. So I will be posting at my new site, Oneness is Goodness: itsmikala.blogspot.com

again, MAHALO!

my president is idealistic!

thanks for reading. i moved my blog to itsmikala.blogspot.com and will be updating periodically.

oneness is goodness
itsMikala!

AHHHHH!!!!! people keep hurting me! every day, i get hurt by someone new. this sucks. i care so much about just the well being of humans , i mean, i am one and i'd like it if my children get to raise children and their children get to raise children and just all in all they get to experiences the joys of life like happy love, we're best friends love, i trust you love. i am so hurt right now. i dont understand. i look to myself because it must be something ive done to deserve this, right? but i dont know what im doing. ive been God first and ive been grateful what i have and ive tried to just be nice, but why am i so misunderstood? am i just being sensitive? i am really sensitive and i keep it to myself but maybe people keep being this way to me because they dont know it hurts me. it really hurts! it really hurts me when you say you are going to call me and you dont. it really hurts me when you say youre coming over to kick it and hang out and you dont. it really hurts me when you lie to me. it really hurts me when you tell me something and its not what youre saying its what youre not saying that im supposed to get. it really hurts me when i share my weakness i open up and you use it against me, you bring it up later to bring yourself up over me. sometimes, i feel like fuck this whole human race. the things we do to eachother. if we become extinct, from killing ourselves, hey, we deserve it. and so be it. i wouldnt want my children to suffer the way youve made me suffer anyway. i dont want them to have to live a life of hurt and then when they kill themselves you call them weak. but it wasnt them, it was you. why are you being that way? dont you know you dont have to? but i tell myself, the suffering a person has caused me, they suffer far more, for one can only give what one has, accept it and move on. but sometimes, i cant stand to accept it and just move on! lets deal with this! im tired of you treating me this way! yea, im the nice guy, but i can be an asshole. yea, im laid back, but keep pushing and ill make you eat my pain, then ill hold your throat so that shit gets stuck and you cant breathe. yea, just like your hurt is suffocating me! but im not eye for an eye. i dont want the whole world to go blind. i tell myself, thats just not me! i wont do unto you as youve done unto me. but whose going to do it, if i dont?? i try to trust in God and trust the Universe will do its thing. wow, this has helped. im ok now.

my solution: i will continue to trust in God and put God first! i will know, its only me and God anyway! i will be one with the Universe! i will be one with Oneness and All That Is! and i will live like i have something to die for!

in this moment . of this moment , i am losing i am . so much that i become : first human , then being . speak to me heart , speak to me spirit of soul . lack luster love more , and suddenly . in a sweep , that i am , is broom . and so i , am garden . cleansed , acleaned , everytime truth , reminiscent of perfection . i belong at home . always where i go . always where i am . i try to listen , and intently . sometimes , though , what's it matter ? ego prevail , by desire . clinging to what supports , and confirms , my own understanding . but this i know , is not the way . dissipate this person , i've come to be . instead , let it be so , come into me ! i put you first , and everything else , is there anything else ? since you are all that is . am i that ?

this i pray , my heaven : come into me , and i in you , that i am ! 

cold warmth shall set you free.
and only if you should want.
what desires would your heart so will?

truth. and wisdom.
and oh! to see it
with one look in the eye.

whose gift of god mind will prevail?

well, there are no winners in this one.
nor are there losers.

so prevail won't privily watch
but look! look there!
it shines and so subtly!

what brightness! what luck!
it sits though. just sits there and listens.
why are you waiting??
what are you listening for???

GO, DAMNIT, GO!!!!

MOVE!!!!!

YOU WASTE YOUR MASTER TIME!!!!!!

but still,
it sits. and still.
it sucks the life out of life.

and energy fizzles.
to a fourth becoming.

for cold warmth shall set you bound.
and only if you should need.
what reason would your mind so wish!

hate hurts love heals but place hate as hidden compassion.

love hurts and hate heals sometimes as better action.

i desire to love and without hurt

but what becomes of what love is?

love without hurt?

ah! the bliss of ideals.

love and lack of is before what,
love is and really is.
sure i want to show you i care and all the time
but i cant cause i dont all the time.
speak plethora and i get annoyed
then i preach to practice listening.
but its often because i just want to sit,
and give attention to god's mystery. 
when god speaks, hear thought listen!
let go! let god speak freely!

grab another with involved interest,
engage and embrace with intimate thought.
wrestle with what is, and surface what is not.

fill your thinking with humble reasoning
let lesson reveal its message

be aware of hollow words
scorn all empty gestures

for joyful sadness and shimmering rains

one can only inflict what is harbored pain

so the suffering a person has caused you, they suffer far more

for one can only give what one has

accept it and move on

uh oh! Yes! you can say God gives us free will
but you cannot say God gives us free will AND we are predestined
because if what we were made to be and do was made up way back when
before we were able to make anything of ourselves
what free choices are we really making?

So, Yes! you can say God gives us free will
but still, we are all subject to things such as genetics
physical law, natural law, universal law, and things we can't control

But, Yes! essentially I agree, we are made makers
for example,
God GIVES us opportunites
and WE MAKE the best of them!

like a colorless embrace
i hold you
and kiss your soul
tenderly

o heavenly body
us as one
we make love

true and equal.

void the fill. there's no void to fill!
it's one atop the other!

speak easy you abrasive son of a bitch
gently madly hadley do
i dare thy subtlest of true powers

uphorn its aboriginous beginnings
scorn down its meddling middlesomes
hold tightly to its end
then let it go! now let it go!

there that ho blows again!

i think therefore i have a brain. and is it so much to ask for my woman to have one too? an intelligent woman. damnit all i ask for is an intelligent woman. i am weak for a heady lady not one that puts on like she's smarter than she actually is but she naturally is smart. she has these big ideas she theorizes she loves to read but only about the things that interest her. when we talk, it is progressive dialogue, it makes sense. she makes sense. and even though i can be difficult to understand, not a problem for her, cause damnit she just might be smarter than me ... but not in what i know. sorry, you can challenge but it's not going to happen. i'm just smarter than you when it comes to that. but she's smarter than me when it comes to this, and damnit, that's fuckin beautiful. i'm weak for it. i yearn for it. i'd shart in my pants for it. i want it so badly i might lie to myself and make it so i need it can't live without it won't live without it pray then will it be so? I WILL IT! BE SO!!!

is life like in math where all of these must be right all the way up to the solution
or the solution is wrong?

or is life like all of these are wrong all the way up to the solution
and the solution can still be right?

in my first life i learned. but soon after,
i died.
and came to life in secondlies.
come third.
then fourth, aside.

i get all this wrong can i still be right?
i get all this right can i still be wrong?
we're talking concept of time
and no sense of that.

but what was it?
love jones had to give one.
just one, and it need be.
so it was. but not such of necessity.

clearly substance
and form.

what time?
this place,

how should you?
so how will you?

and where is your heart,
thus cuddle its mind.

break out or stay in?
break in or stay out?
i see the plan.
stay the course?

mine is different.
but lean not
on mine own
understanding.

pray i
so that i
might see
thine perfect truth.

and when i speak about you, it means nothing to mine feeling. shoulders settle i am in this in that is and that you are so then that i am.

motion, movement, measurement, moment, and momentum. monumental melodic mirrors mirror me. so mercy, mercy must match its nemesis.

my heart dropped when she looked at me. and i think to myself this is what i want for you. this is what i want for you. but see her close i hold her and lick her soul tenderly. spiritual moment entirely holy it sings to me. then smiles.

independence means freedom.

what have you with me this freedom?
would you so will that i be?
and so it is,
being is forever.

: competition shutdown
[ closed soul behold a truth a light
( sing unto me thy goodness
{ and we both shall dance

how can i explain :
your thoughts are ]
as powerful as your doings )
and arguably more powerful }