I promise I'll do a blog and wrap our tour stories but for now I have some sad news...

Thanks,

Little Miss Risk

PS: Special thanks to the Vancouver Police Department for all the extra traffic in and out of the secure parking and not noticing someone walking out with all our merch....  

 

The last five shows have brought us from the far reaches of Northern Ontario, through the prairies, and now getting back to the Rocky Mountains. While we drove up north I recall being irrationally scared of the province of Ontario when I was younger, and I remembered the old memories I thought I had repressed... When Expo 86 was in Vancouver, my family took me out to it. At an impressionable five years old I remember when we entered the Ontario Pavilion I heard howling around me. What I now know as an adult to be a coyote baying at the time I only had the wolfman movies as a point of reference to go by. So I spent a good portion of my childhood convinced that packs of werewolves prowled Northern Ontario. As we drove down from Thunder Bay through the large empty fields, I'm guessing that it is entirely possible that werewolves could live up in those norther regions. However the only howling at the moon came from Bloody Betty and I after the show.

Winnipeg had a good crowd with a few even dressed for trick or treating. The only downer was three big pyschobilly guys who were trying to mosh. BJB had to tell them to take it to the back when they got too rough. Here's a clue guys: if your doing those ridiculous macho wrecking moves keep in mind that you tend to scare all the pretty girls away. No offense, but I'd rather look down from the stage and see a legion of hot girls rather than a group of meatheads ricocheting off of one another. After the show BJB and Betty hit our friend Maggie's Halloween party. It must have been good since Betty came back wearing a Viking helmet. Mom always used to say that it's never a party until you leave wearing a Viking helmet....

Regina, Saskatoon and Edmonton were all fun shows with the trend of really hot people attending. This is a trend I could totally get used to. I'm not sure if maybe prairie people are just that much hotter, or that the extreme temperatures of their regions causes some internal chemical reaction that causes them to be better looking than the rest of us, but I'm prepared whatever the cause to reap the rewards. Our friends from the Rabid Whole came in Regina and were good enough to let us swim in their pool, muss up their towels and snore on their couches. I heard there's also some prime blackmail material from that show and I'm keeping the negatives til BJB sends me my cheque in the mail... ;)

After our show in Saskatoon, we abducted guitarist Justin Hagberg from 3 Inches Of Blood to come and party with us after the show. He very good-natured and put up with all of our drunken shenanigans. I noticed the Drinking Horn somehow escaped the Voodoo Dollz luggage and was filled up and emptied repeatedly over the course of the evening. Everyone knows that cocktails always taste better when quaffed from a horn.

Last night was Edmonton but I didn't see too much of, as I was nursing the mother of all headaches before the show. The two opening bands who played with us were amazing. The first was a killer surf band and the second was like, hmm, how to describe them... metal blues. Both bands were the highlight of my night last night.

Now onto Calgary whilst we make out way back over the mountains where, thankfully, the only cougars I'm going to have to deal with are mountain lions and quite frankly, a lot more safe to be around.

 

Ciao.

Little Miss Risk

Miniature horse therapy has been added to a seniors home at the O'Leary Community Center. The idea being that the horses are small enough for them to interact with but that they are able to develop a bond with them. The full story can be read here at cbc.ca for all the details...

...

On second thought, maybe we should just leave it to the seniors....

Little Miss Risk

Our show in Ottawa last night was remarkable; the number of highly attractive people who made it out to our show made it wonderful. I know Quebec doesn't put fluoride in the water, but I think Ottawa must put a hotness additive in their drinking water. I find this kind of funny considering that Quebec seems to be obsessed with sugar and maple syrup - I even saw a feminine hygiene products that came in that scent. Weird.

We are en route to Thunder Bay. This is the farthest north I've been on tour with the band and I'm finding strange little cultural pockets here in Northern Ontario that are very Canada-ccentric. We're in a small town that's about six hours away from Thunder Bay who's name I can't pronounce, let alone spell. BJB managed to hit up the McDonald's moments before it closed up shop for the night at 10:30PM, which proves again his impeccable timing. It looks like Lapp-land outside: there's snow on the ground and the Northern Lights are visible. It's been a long-dormant fear of mine, the Northern Lights. I think someone either read to me a story as a child that painted them in a evil light and I've been suspicious of them to this day. The way they move around all silent and eerie and can appear to come out of the sky and fly at you... That puts them right up there with monkeys in my books.

Our hotel room is a museum piece; brown wall-to-wall carpet, wood panelling, and brown-and-tan tiles in the bathroom. It's as if the seventies (or early eighties) stopped here in this room. So in our cozy little time-warp, we're girding our loins for our final push north tomorrow morning to Thunder Bay. After which we're heading west towards all things of comfort - warmer autumn weather, no snow and thankfully, light pollution.

Little Miss Risk

Thanks to Scott for documenting our ascent as a marquee act...

So people have been coming to me and asking me what of the differences between European and North American crowds. I think that this may have less to do with my observations and perhaps more to do with a chance to stare at my chest while engaged in conversation. I may be a trifle cynical in my reaction, but if my opinion IS being solicited then I do have some findings. My first reaction is that European television sucks, and this is saving live entertainment. The second is that North American television sucks but people haven't caught on just yet.

It came to me while catching the tail-end of America's Next Top Model before check out at our hotel the other day and it hit me that North Americans don't get the joke. I say this because there is much more of a instinct to leave the house, go out and be social at the local bar/club/watering hole vs. stay at home and watch 'Britney and Kevin: Chaotic' overseas. Here at home, people will agree that the reality television world is idiotic, but still park their butts in front of the boob tube rather than budge off of the couch. Whereas our European counterparts will shrug, turn off the set and head out to a show. I know that there are those living the live entertainment life here at home, but I find them to be in the minority. But what do couch potatoes risk missing if they stay in?

Coke Guy: "You like the Joker, eh?"

Betty: "Sure do."

Coke Guy: "Want to hear a joke?"

Betty: "Sure"

Betty: "You suck at jokes"

Adieu.

Little Miss Risk

I was checking out my friend's blogs on Live Journal today mostly because there's nothing good on television and also because I'm nosey. I came across on one of the community posts an old 60's ad featuring a mermaid hawking a product called Groom And Clean... You can see it here.

The product promises to groom a gentleman's hair making it grease and dandruff free, while also styling it. It has convincing product demos of how it mixes it water and how much of a dandy it will make you. I don't want to sound cynical here, but as convincing as the sales pitch is, I'm not entirely sure how much I'm willing to believe with a mermaid selling me on a product. Similarly, we see an ad for Gilette's Venus razors do the same thing; a mermaid underwater using her razor in order to breach the surface and emerge a biped, ready for bare-legged romance.

I'm pretty sure that there is some mermaid conspiracy out there at the moment that is trying to get me to take better care of my appearance. Honestly, if I lived in the deep, I'd be more worried about barnacles. Either way if a fish lady is going to sell me on a grooming product I'd like it to have faery dust (free range and organic) in it or something... for now the I'm going to leave the hotel to forage for a coffee from the only mermaid who's product I trust: The Starbucks Siren.

Ciao.

Little Miss Risk

BJB sent this to me last night and it just confuses the hell out of me...

I never took Jesus for one to gravitate towards our music, but I suppose that since he hung around with the low-brows, the unwanted and the prostitutes, Jesus pretty much lived an early rock and roll lifestyle and therefore is into our music. Actually, if one wants to even go a hair further, we could easily put this in the book of my own cult. Consider the following:

a) We have a prophet (me)

b) We have a  score of followers, faithful and converted (still working on Bismark)

Little Miss Risk

As I was surfing YouTube this evening, I came across an old memory and I wonder if it influenced Brandy and Kate the way it influenced them the way it did me...

I also blame this show, Jem, for my current lifestyle choices. In all honesty, I was doomed to be either a fashion designer, burlesque dancer or a drag queen. My favorite part about Jem perhaps the fact that they could change attire with the help of holograms. And it was always some insane Lady Gaga outfit. Low key was definitely not their style. This is probably why Crystal Precious' neon primary color clothing appeals to me so much.

I'd like to know where the hell that technology is, and when I can expect that. Actually, I want a robot companion a la MASK and a hover car too. So to the Aero engineers if your still kicking around, NASA and the like, let's perhaps try and focus our efforts on something other than going up into space. Let's get on some cool android companions, hover cars that do not require fossil fuel, and the hologramatic costume jazz. I'll start canvassing for research dollars for the last one. Anything to own a pair of earrings that let me a) cut down on luggage and b) always look fabulous.

Let the record show I'll be a happy guinea pig for when they need test subjects...

LMR

In the days that have past, we've met up with our friends in the Legendary Shack Shakers, corrupted minors in Toronto, visited Fort Henry in Kingston, and brained myself on my changing screens hard enough to raise a welt on my head. All in all, it's been a busy week. So now I'm sitting in Montreal listening to Kate and JT snore (the rhythm section being in perfect sync) and nursing a wicked hangover. In this state, I've gotten to thinking about the people the last five shows who kept slyly angling themselves to get an unexpurgated view of Betty and I changing our costumes.

On second thought, I'll just keep a pie backstage, so anyone caught peeping will get a pie in the face. A lesson will be learned and peeping toms will get their just desserts.

Little Miss Risk