For Parents:

Physical Indicators

• gastrointestinal disturbance
• difficulty in walking or sitting
• torn, stained, or bloody underclothing
• pain or itching in genital areas
• unexplained bruises, lacerations, redness, swelling, or bleeding in the genital, vaginal, or anal areas.
• blood in urine or stools
• complaints of genital or rectal pain
• pain experienced in elimination
• sexually transmitted disease
• pregnancy

Emotional & Behavioural Indicators

A Young Child:

• becomes frantic when his or her diaper is changed.
• is hyperactive.
• is disruptive and / or demanding.
• shows unhappiness by crying or being unduly anxious.
• behaves in an overly compliant manner.
• has a short attention span or displays lack of attention.
• is preoccupied: seems to live in a "dream world".
• attempts sexual behaviour with other children, toys, or animals and may act in an angry, aggressive, or controlling fashion.
• displays regressive behaviour
  • such as return to younger, more babyish behaviour
    • ie: thumb sucking, bed wetting or soiling, baby talk, clinging, etc.
• inserts objects into the vagina or rectum.
• is clinging or excessively dependent.
• has sleep disturbances
  • ie: nightmares or fear of the dark, fear of going to bed, screaming, phobias, hysteria, etc.
• has a change or loss of appetite.
• protests suddenly or continuously when left with someone he or she knows
  • such as a relative, neighbour, day care worker, baby-sitter, etc.
• has a fear of particular area of the house or a particular family member or is afraid of being left alone with a person of a particular sex.
• gives an indirect message by refusing to go to the house of a relative or friend for no apparent reason.
• is inappropriately affectionate toward strangers.
• shows an unusual and exaggerated interest in people's bodies.
• has a detailed and age-inappropriate understanding of sexual behaviour and is preoccupied with sex in conversations.
• at play explicitly mimics sexual activities.
• displays unusual interest in or preoccupation with sexual acts or language far beyond the developmentally normal level and may act out with sexual approaches that appear to be sexually provocative behaviour with adults.
• draws pictures that indirectly depict sexual activity/sexualized drawings.
• reverts to bed wetting.
• is suddenly reluctant or resistant to going to a specific place
  • ie: going to school or home after school, or to the day care, baby sitter, etc.
• has nonspecific physical complaints
  • such as headaches, sore throat, nausea,etc.
• is irritable or has sudden shifts in temper.
• hints about sexual activity or states that he/she has been abused.
• makes unusual statements that only make sense in a sexual content.
• is unable to concentrate at school
  • ie: performance suddenly deteriorates.
• has poor peer relationships or is unable to make friends.
• has a poor self-image and lacks self-esteem.
• does not participate in school and/or social activities.
• is afraid to remove clothing for gym classes or at the doctor's office or refuses to use toilet facilities when attending day programs.
• where a female has been sexually abused by a male perpetrator, shows seductive behaviour with males.
• wears an excessive amount of clothing.
• does not trust people-particularly significant others.

In An Older Child:

• loses his or her friends.
• has academic problems.
• is unable to concentrate
  • ie: performance at school suddenly deteriorates.
• is truant.
• withdraws, both from usual activities and from others.
• has recurrent physical complaints that are without physiological basis
  • ie: abdominal pain, headaches, sore throat, nausea, etc.
• does not trust people, particularly significant others.
• is unable to "have fun".
• suffers from clinical depression.
• has suicidal feelings or behaviour.
• engages in self-destructive behaviour
  • ie: drug or alcohol abuse, suicide attempts, etc.
• suddenly loses interest in her/himself
  • ie: there is a change in personal hygiene or care.
• has a poor self-image and lacks self-esteem.
• is unable to eat or overeats excessively.
• is unable to sleep.
• acts out or behaves aggressively.
• makes unusual statements that only make sense in sexual context.
  • These may be written statements in a diary or a school project, such as work journal.
• hints about sexual activity or states that he or she has been abused.
• has a sudden interest in sex, pregnancy, or sexually transmitted diseases.
• acts out sexually or engages in prostitution.

What Is Child Sexual Abuse?

Child sexual abuse is sexual activity with a child by an adult, an adolescent, or an older child. When any adult engages in sexual activity with a child, that is child sexual abuse. It is a crime in all 50 states. Look in the section called "Warning Signs" for a listing of both touching and non-touching sexual behaviors that are considered sexual abuse. When sexual activity involves another child or an adolescent, it is not always so clear. Some kinds of sexual behavior among children might be natural explorations rather than abuse. Look at the checklists in the section called "Warning Signs" for help in figuring out whether the behavior you see is sexual abuse between children.

Is Child Sexual Abuse Really That Big a Problem?

Statistics show that child sexual abuse occurs at an alarming rate. As many as one in three girls and one in seven boys will be sexually abused at some point in their childhood, according to most reliable studies of child sexual abuse in the United States. (Briere, J.,  Eliot, D.M. Prevalence and Psychological Sequence of Self-Reported Childhood Physical and Sexual Abuse in General Population……: Child Abuse and Neglect, 2003, 27 10).) That means that in a class or concert of 100 people, as many as 20 to 30 of those in the room were sexually abused as children.

Why Do I Need to Know About Sexual Abuse and the People Who Sexually Abuse Children?

We need to know about sexual abuse because sexual abuse of children is all around us in our homes and communities. More than 300,000 children are sexually abused each year. (Finkelhor, D., H. Hammer, and A.J. Sedlak, Sexually assaulted children: National estimates and characteristics, in Juvenile Justice Bulletin. In press, Office of Juvenile Justice & Delinquency Prevention: Washington, D.C.) 

Sex Offender Registry Laws have been established to keep track of people who have been convicted of sexual offenses and have moved back into communities. Most are required to  register with authorities and in some instances their names and addresses are made available to the public. But community notification laws can give us a false sense of security. Most sexual abuse, nearly 88 percent, is never reported, let alone brought to trial.  (Hanson, R.F., Resnick, H.S., Saunders, B.E., Kilpatrick. D. G., and Best, C. (1999). Factors related to the reporting of childhood sexual assault. Child Abuse and Neglect, 23,559-569) So the police and the courts can't warn us about the people responsible for most of the abuse that is committed across the United States. They don't know who they are. But most likely, we do. Chances are, those most at risk to abuse our children are people we know in our families and in our community, who have horribly lost control.

Children should not have to prevent sexual abuse by themselves. That's our job. We can do much more to protect children than teach them to tell us when someone has acted inappropriately.  It is our responsibility as adults to learn, to notice, and to say something when we see behaviors towards children and teens that make them vulnerable or are sexually inappropriate. Many calls to our helpline begin with someone telling us, "I may be over reacting but…" and then describe a situation of possible sexual abuse. Adults need to learn what to do when we think another person could harm a child in a sexual way. The Stop It Now! Helpline, this web site, and others will help to give you some of the information you may need to protect a child from sexual abuse.

Who Are These People Who Sexually Abuse Children?

Most often, they are likely to be people we know, and frequently people we care about. It would be easy to protect our children if everyone who posed a risk looked like those mug shots we see on TV of men who have just been arrested for a sexual offense.  But they're hardly ever like that.

In as much as 90 percent or more of child sexual abuse cases, the child knows the person who commits the abuse (Finkelhor, D., H. Hammer, and A.J. Sedlak, Sexually assaulted children: National estimates and characteristics ,in Juvenile Justice Bulletin. In press, Office of Juvenile Justice & Delinquency Prevention: Washington, D.C.) ). It's hard to face that someone we know - and even love - might be sexually abusing a child. Look at the checklists in the section called "Warning Signs" for what to look for in adults or in the adult/child interactions that may give you a sense if there is reason for concern or questions.

Are Men the Only Ones Who Will Sexually Abuse a Child?

Those who sexually abuse children - the ones we know about and the ones we don't -- can be anyone in our lives. They are fathers, mothers, stepparents, grandparents, and other family members (uncles, aunts, cousins). They're neighbors, babysitters, religious leaders, teachers, coaches, or anyone else who has close contact with our children. More cases of sexual abuse by men are reported into the legal system. As much as half of all child sexual abuse is committed by children under the age of 18 (Hunter, J.A., Figueredo, A., Malamuth, N.M., & Becker, J.V. (2003). Juvenile sex offenders: Toward the Development of a Typology. Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment, (2003) Volume 15, No. 1.). Other recent studies have begun to examine the impact of sexual abuse when the abuser is a woman or girl.

Can People Who Sexually Offend Ever Be Cured?

With specialized treatment, a person with a history of having sexually offended who accepts full accountability for his or her crime can learn to control his or her abusive behavior. Without treatment, the sexual recidivism rate for sex offenders is 17 percent. With treatment sexual recidivism among sex offenders drops to 12 percent (Hanson, R. K., Gordon, A., Harris, J.R., Marques, J.K., Murphy, W., Quinsey, V.L., Seto, M.C. (2002) First Report of the Collaborative Outcome Data Project on the Effectiveness of Psychological Treatment for Sex Offenders. Sexual Abuse: A Journal of Research and Treatment, 14(2), 169-197).

Like many other diseases and dysfunctions we can not expect a cure, but we can and should demand control of abusive behavior throughout a lifetime. When people who abuse are firmly supported and held accountable by their friends and families, they are more likely to complete their treatment programs and live productive, abuse-free lives. (Mussack, Steven E. "The Impact of Family Involvement on Sexual Offender Treatment." Presented at the 13th Annual Research and Treatment Conference of the Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers, 1994.)

Are All People Who Sexually Abuse the Same and Do They Pose the Same Risk to Re-Offend?

No. Like Like any other population there are a wide range of behaviors and a variety of people who sexually abuse children. With specialized treatment and full accountability for their crimes, many adults and children can change and never offend again. However, child sexual abuse is a crime and must be dealt with first through the child protection and criminal justice systems. We work to get everyone who wants to change the best treatment available and help them never to hurt a child again.

Why Does Someone Sexually Abuse a Child?

People abuse children for a variety of reasons, including a chance to increase their sense of power and a sense of pleasure. Those who abuse can become "hooked" on using children to achieve sexual arousal. They may seek children to sexually abuse because they have had a long history of sexual attraction to children or because they took advantage of an opportunity to abuse a child in their trust. They may have started sexually abusing because of their own abuse history or because they never learned that sexual abuse is wrong and is a crime. The earlier they get help, the better chance they have to control their impulses.

How Can We Keep Our Children Safe From Sexual Abuse?

We need to teach children about safety. We, as adults, also need to educate ourselves about sexual abuse, the warning signs of sexually abusing behaviors and the risk factors that create situations that make children vulnerable. Then we adults need to act. Here are some things that you and your family can do to prevent the sexual abuse of a child you know and love.

Adults need to:

• Set and respect family boundaries.
• Speak up when you see behaviors that violate a child's personal boundaries or make children vulnerable.
• Watch for signs of sexually inappropriate behavior in adults, between adults and children, and in children. (see Warning Signs)
• In your own life, demonstrate to your children that it is OK to say "no" when someone you know and care about does something you do not like.
• Practice talking about difficult topics such as sexual abuse with other adults.
• Be sure that you are comfortable saying the proper names of body parts before you teach them to your children.
• Teach children the difference between OK touch and touch that is not OK. As they get older, teach the more subtle differences between red light, yellow light, and green light behaviors. These three levels of behaviors are a clear way to describe the gray areas which include sexual behaviors that are clearly inappropriate, but are not legally sexual abuse.
• Teach children that secrets about touching are not OK.
• Set up a family safety plan that is easy to remember.
• List for yourself whom to call for advice, information, and help.

Report anything you know or suspect is sexual abuse.
For more information on these points, you can call the Stop It Now!^® helpline toll-free at 1.888.PREVENT.

What Can I Do If a Child Has Been Sexually Abused? How Should I Respond? What Should I Say?

One of the most important things a parent can do is respond in a calm and matter-of-fact manner. Listen to the words and feelings of the child and observe his or her body language. Believe the child - children rarely lie about sexual abuse. If you don't have enough information about what is going on, it is a good idea to ask questions and let the child know you are someone they can safely talk to about this issue. Be sure you do not ask leading questions. What is most important for you as someone who cares about the child is to say that no matter what happened or what they say, you will still love them. Also take the time to reassure the child that he or she has done nothing wrong. Let the child know that you will do whatever you can to keep him or her safe. Many people are tempted to handle the disclosure on their own. However, there are resources throughout the country that can help a family through this difficult situation. (See our Resource Guide) Furthermore, the sexual abuse of children is against the law. It is therefore important to seek professional help and to not do this alone. By taking action you may reduce the risk of others in your community or family from being sexually abused.

Is Healing from Sexual Abuse Possible?

Yes, healing from child sexual abuse is possible. The lives of children who have been sexually abused will be forever changed, but we have many wonderful examples of children healing from the child abuse and living out caring and productive lives. Some children may be ready to talk about the abuse and deal with it soon after it happened. Others may need to move more slowly, gradually testing the safety of addressing the issues that arise. Children do best with a combination of love from caregivers and support from a counselor with special training to work with children who have experienced sexual trauma.

When a child tells an adult that he or she has been sexually abused, the adult may feel uncomfortable and may not know what to say or do. The following guidelines should be used when responding to children who say they have been sexually abused:

What to Say
If a child even hints in a vague way that sexual abuse has occurred, encourage him or her to talk freely. Don't make judgmental comments.

• Show that you understand and take seriously what the child is saying. Child and adolescent psychiatrists have found that children who are listened to and understood do much better than those who are not. The response to the disclosure of sexual abuse is critical to the child's ability to resolve and heal the trauma of sexual abuse.
• Assure the child that they did the right thing in telling. A child who is close to the abuser may feel guilty about revealing the secret. The child may feel frightened if the abuser has threatened to harm the child or other family members as punishment for telling the secret.
• Tell the child that he or she is not to blame for the sexual abuse. Most children in attempting to make sense out of the abuse will believe that somehow they caused it or may even view it as a form of punishment for imagined or real wrongdoings.
• Finally, offer the child protection, and promise that you will promptly take steps to see that the abuse stops.

What to Do
Report any suspicion of child abuse. If the abuse is within the family, report it to the local Child Protection Agency. If the abuse is outside of the family, report it to the police or district attorney's office. Individuals reporting in good faith are immune from prosecution. The agency receiving the report will conduct an evaluation and will take action to protect the child.

Parents should consult with their pediatrician or family physician, who may refer them to a physician who specializes in evaluating and treating sexual abuse. The examining doctor will evaluate the child's condition and treat any physical problem related to the abuse, gather evidence to help protect the child, and reassure the child that he or she is all right.

Children who have been sexually abused should have an evaluation by a child and adolescent psychiatrist or other qualified mental health professional to find out how the sexual abuse has affected them, and to determine whether ongoing professional help is necessary for the child to deal with the trauma of the abuse. The child and adolescent psychiatrist can also provide support to other family members who may be upset by the abuse.

While most allegations of sexual abuse made by children are true, some false accusations may arise in custody disputes and in other situations. Occasionally, the court will ask a child and adolescent psychiatrist to help determine whether the child is telling the truth, or whether it will hurt the child to speak in court about the abuse.

When a child is asked as to testify, special considerations--such as videotaping, frequent breaks, exclusion of spectators, and the option not to look at the accused--make the experience much less stressful.

Adults, because of their maturity and knowledge, are always the ones to blame when they abuse children. The abused children should never be blamed.

When a child tells someone about sexual abuse, a supportive, caring response is the first step in getting help for the child and reestablishing their trust in adults.

"We live in a beautiful, safe neighborhood. None of these children could be victims of sexual abuse, right?"

"An organization in my community has programs for children, but puts no limits on one-adult/one-child situations. Should I be concerned?"

Adults' Responsibility in the Prevention of Child Sexual Abuse

Child sexual abuse: the hidden epidemic

What adults need to know about child sexual abuse…

• It happens more than you think. A lot more - one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before their eighteenth birthday.
• It can happen right under your nose and you may never know - less than one victim in ten will tell.
• The perpetrators aren't usually "dirty old men hiding in the bushes" - 34% of those who sexually abuse children are family members. A further 59% are friends and acquaintances of the child and his family.
• You probably don't realize how big the problem is - 67% of the victims of all sexual assaults (including adults) are children.
• And we're not talking about young teenagers having consensual sex - the median age for sexual abuse is just nine years of age.
• Child sexual abuse is not just a bad experience. Child sexual abuse wrecks young lives - victims of child sexual abuse are at far greater risk for all sorts of psychological disorders including PTSD, depression, substance abuse and relationship problems, often lasting into adulthood.

The personal pain of child sexual abuse…

• Adolescents and young adults with a history of childhood abuse are 3 times more likely to become depressed or suicidal as compared to those without such a history. ( Brown, Cohen, Johnson & Smailes, 1999 )
• Women with histories of childhood abuse report a greater number of physical and psychological problems, and lower ratings of their overall health than their peers. ( Moeller & Bachmann, 1993 )
• 34% of children who are either physically or sexually abused, and 58% of children who are both physically and sexually abused meet the criteria for Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. ( Ackerman, Newton, McPherson, Jones & Dykman, 1998). Untreated, PTSD is a chronic disorder. The residual emotional, behavioral, cognitive and social symptoms persist and contribute to a host of psychiatric problems through life. ( Ferguson & Horwood, 1998 )
• Adolescents and adults who are abused in childhood are significantly more likely to drink alcohol and/or use illicit drugs than their peers. Adolescents and adults who were victims of childhood maltreatment have been consistently found to be more likely to engage in high-risk sexual behaviors.

And the cost to us all…

• A 1996 National Institute of Justice study estimated that each year child sexual abuse in America costs the nation $23 billion
• Victims of child sexual abuse generally spend more on psychiatric care and medical services throughout their lives. Some victims of child sexual abuse require more expensive special educational services. Child sexual abuse causes lost potential and productivity. These expenses, which would not be necessary if not for sexual abuse, are a financial drain to each and every one of us.

So, what is happening to prevent child sexual abuse

• Preventing sexual abuse with child-focused programs… There are several well-known and successful programs that teach children self-protection skills and techniques, as age-appropriate. These programs also teach children about physical boundaries and about discerning types of touch. These programs are valuable to children. The skills learned by children in these programs have thwarted some abductions and sexual assaults. However, we must not fall into a trap of thinking that these skills are the only protection children need.
• Think about it. It is unrealistic to expect a six-year old to fend off sexual advances from an adult relative. A six-year old can't recognize sexual advances for what they are. And a six-year old has been taught to "mind" adults who are authority figures. It is unrealistic to think that a six-year old can or even should protect himself in this situation.
• Adults are responsible for the safety of children. We strap children into car seats, we walk children across busy streets and we ask our teenagers questions about where they are going and who they will be with, all to keep them safe. Adults should also be responsible for protecting children from sexual abuse.
• Why don't adults do a better job? Child abuse statistics show that adults do not adequately protect children from child sexual abuse. There are a lot of reasons why, but the main one is THEY DON'T KNOW HOW!!!
• Research suggests that adults are unaware of effective steps they can take to protect their children from sexual abuse. Most do not know how to recognize signs of sexual abuse and many do not know what to do when sexual abuse is discovered.

I DID IT!! I made it the full 24hrs!  I'm so proud of myself.  Now, iffn ya'll don't mind, I'm going to bed, and going to pass out for a while!

I did it, I did it!  YAY!