have you noticed...
the screams painted on the walls,
have you seen,
 the mirrors on my eyes,
have you heard,
the growth in these veins,
do you know,
what lies beneath the surface,
have you seen,
 the meaning of words,
have you heard,
the sounds of meaning,
have you contemplated,
the cause of your pain,
have you thought,
anything less of yourself,
have you overcome,
the passage through this life,
 have you done the impossible?
have you been there,
have you been here?
no one,
no one,
is there,
no one is here,
no one is ever going to be there,
just filter the lies,
drop the skies,
and we will all dance below the surface,
with the fire burning

i dont even know anymore...
i did something that i shouldnt have...
i did things that i shouldnt have...
but i did them...
with my two hands...
and one foot...
i hate myself for it....
i think i have been forgiven...
but...
it still kills me to know...
i just want to take a hammer to my head...
a needle to my veins...
i just want to drink a barrel of cyanide...
to make this pain go away...
its what i deserve for what i did...


[for those of you who dont know what i did]
[message me if you wish to know]

spiraling into obivion,
fade away,
to the black,
unknown to mindless?
nothing can truly be real,
unless im dreaming,
wake up,
hit me in the face,
nothing more than screams,
staring in my face,
is a death,
that i cannot escape,
freezing me in place,
show it inside you,
controlling the uselessness of my life,
indeed no surprise,
days go by,
and i die,
slowly,
inside,
a world of hurt,
nothing alive,
breaking falling to the darkness of which i came,
from demons,
rising,
above it all,
from deep inside my cold heart,
i freeze to htink,
 about life,
taking,
a hold of my soul,
dissappear,
into the obvlivious space,


darkened state,
fucking takeing me back,
to where im from,
the demon,
inside us,
feeds on greed,
no more,
no more...



knives taken my breathe away,
everything fades away,
as nothingness takes ahold of me,
and everything seems to dissappear,
no longer ahold or control,
 of my body,
trapped inside my wake,
despair?
no,
just another day of lifeless,
thoughts,
final say,
spawn crosses bleeding,
inside of me,
feel the torture,
feel the bleed,
caress my guts,
across laid plains,
hunting,
my hunted bretheren,
teeth sinking farther and farther into this unbleak,
disgrace to humanity,
sewn to my feeds,
i am the greed,
which feeds no need,
inside a life where we plead,
for nothing more than a lonley death,
please help me,
no more no more....

texas deathride...

spiraling into obivion,
fade away,
to the black,
unknown to mindless?
nothing can truly be real,
unless im dreaming,
wake up,
hit me in the face,
nothing more than screams,
staring in my face,
is a death,
that i cannot escape,
freezing me in place,
show it inside you,
controlling the uselessness of my life,
indeed no surprise,
days go by,
and i die,
slowly,
inside,
a world of hurt,
nothing alive,
breaking falling to the darkness of which i came,
from demons,
rising,
above it all,
from deep inside my cold heart,
i freeze to htink,
 about life,
taking,
a hold of my soul,
dissappear,
into the obvlivious space,


darkened state,
fucking takeing me back,
to where im from,
the demon,
inside us,
feeds on greed,
no more,
no more...



knives taken my breathe away,
everything fades away,
as nothingness takes ahold of me,
and everything seems to dissappear,
no longer ahold or control,
 of my body,
trapped inside my wake,
despair?
no,
just another day of lifeless,
thoughts,
final say,
spawn crosses bleeding,
inside of me,
feel the torture,
feel the bleed,
caress my guts,
across laid plains,
hunting,
my hunted bretheren,
teeth sinking farther and farther into this unbleak,
disgrace to humanity,
sewn to my feeds,
i am the greed,
which feeds no need,
inside a life where we plead,
for nothing more than a lonley death,
please help me,
no more no more....

texas deathride...

looking into your eyes,
makes me feel so alive,
feeling our lips kiss,
makes me go crazy inside,
everytime I feel you wrapped in my arms,
I feel nothing can go wrong,
everytime we hold eachothers hands,
I feel everything is so right,
my heart belongs to you,
I love you Tess

just let me know that im still alive

what will become of me?  
what will become of this?
this gap in time?
this void in my mind?
this momentary lapse?
what will become?
of this shit?
what will happen?
what will cry?
who will die?
truthfully...
I think we all just died

it truly is the silence that kills us