"Waiting to grasp the ungraspable, you exhaust yourself
in vain. As soon as you open and relax this tight fist of grasping, infinite
space is there- open, inviting, and comfortable."

.. ..

I am learning to be conscious of my own grasping... and this winter more than ever, realizing I grasp when
I’m cold.  So I’ve been working to find my inner source of heat. 
The more I cling to hot things, the colder I am.  Heat packs, hot baths, heaters, tea.  I feel colder anyway.  I need to acclimate.  Acclimate to the big wide open. 

.. ..

Earlier tonight, I stood outside on my back porch, coming
home from conversation/evening with my sister and felt true
happiness.  I realized I wasn’t cold in
the cold.  Breathing in and out, I could
feel my own source, my inner heat.  I
focused my mind, body and soul on that source and could feel the heat and cold
at the same time.  Warmth.  I wasn’t tense.  I was open, breathing it in, both/and, that
moment.... 

.. ..

"Only our own searching for happiness prevents us from
seeing it. It is like a vivid rainbow which you pursue without ever catching
it, or a dog chasing its own tail. Although peace and happiness do not exist as
an actual thing or place, they are always available, and accompany you every
instant." This quote by the Tibetan sage Gendun Rinpoche, thanks ellis for the quotes! 

.. ..

Opening to the soft belly of me.  She awakens, Underneath all these layers, holding it all together.  I'm getting to her, this part that is vulnerable, soft with a deeper strength than surface muscles.  She undulates within the hollow of my womb…circling inside my ribcage and hips, the outliers of this... I connect, let go, connect again; rising out of my self even more. 

.. ..For I do not have to hold or be held anymore—not by my self, not by anyone.  I can be fluid.  I can have emotions in one minute and be completely calm and at peace the next.  I can react to situations with old habits in one breath and let those go in the next.  I can be more than the product of my past….past relationships, past lives, childhood.  For they do not make me who I am, I do.  And I claim my own right to be who I truly am, transcending...I can be free.  

.. ..So cling to your misery if you must, as if it were your last breath because it is the only thing we know.  But I choose joy.  I choose healing.  I choose to let go.  I choose to create instead of destroy, to love instead of fear, to release the preconceived.  Within and without myself.  Not because I've had anything that reinforces these things in my life.  But in spite of it. 

.. ..I choose to take life as it is, in each moment.  No past, no future.  Just be.  In each moment.  I am a work in progress, working to take each person as they are without expectation or fear.  I choose to love….even the unknown. 

  I 'm getting used to jumping into the unknown regions of myself, and quite liking it.  Takes practice to keep from holding onto our fear of change.  for our bodies have their own language, their own backlash.  old habits or old frames of mind that are familiar even if we know they are not good for us.  Of course I do this, but I am getting better at recognizing and choosing otherwise.  Dying to my self once again means choosing the self I want to be.  Out of my own death, I choose life. 

.. ..Jump right in.  Now that my art show is finished, hung, and opened I've been catching up on quiet time.  Today I went to the mountains with Jesse (my dog).  I've decided that I'm tired of waiting …so I'm just going to teach myself about wild medicinal plants.  Will start with my own plant interactions, see which ones I'm drawn to and just go to that place of silent knowledge and sit in it for a while.  I want to learn in that place beyond books.  ....I've been obsessed with seeds.  The more I notice, the more there are…everywhere around me.  Blowing in the breeze, floating downstream, stuck to my toe.  Literally, seeds comprise everything.  Jesse even did her own collecting, hundreds stuck to her fur as we came home.

.. ..Found flat seeds about ¼ inch long on the ends of an upside down umbrella flower stalk (umbel).  They taste of REALLY strong celery and look like fennel or anise.  Perhaps of the same family?  I also found mullein, which is used for respiratory ailments and letting go.  Yarrow is a good anesthetic and I found another that looks like yarrow but its root smells of a carrot and its leaves look and taste like one.  I brought home seeds, roots, leaves and stems to experiment.  All is a quandary I have yet to figure. 

Interesting that each portion of a plant has secrets ….root, seed, leaf, stem.  I want to get to know each one separately.  Spring, summer, fall, winter.  They  look different in each stage of their life.  As do we. This getting to know each portion, each season, each moment as it comes...

"I consider eclipses to be a kind of religious event, worthy of stopping everything for. They are akin to the quarter days (equinoxes and solstices) and the cross-quarter days (Imbolc, Beltane, Lammas and Sahwen). These kinds of events are the natural basis of what we think of as a holiday. Eclipses seem to arrive with even greater emphasis. They are the events that move around the calendar, coming gradually earlier each year and arranging themselves in distinct, interesting patterns.

Rather than being on the strictly solar calendar (as are the seasons), eclipses are a made of the combined cycle of the Sun and the Moon, what I call an epicycle. Total solar eclipses are a kind of hieros gamos, the male and female principles engaging and interpenetrating one another fully. For an individual out of partnership or meeting another person face-to-face as an individual, think of it as solos gamos, or masturbation taken to the depth of authentic selflovemaking. At its essence, this is the meeting of the inner male and inner female identities (what Jung called anima and animus).

Note that it is the Moon or interior principle that dominates the Sun, the expressive principle. An eclipse represents a moment of respite from this thing we call the patriarchy, both internal and external. It is an opportunity to stop expressing oneself. It is a chance to let go of one's self-concept and embody oneself with full awareness.

At the core, an eclipse is a New Moon, but it's a much more precisely aligned one. The Sun and the Moon form a conjunction. Yet rather than passing slightly above or below the Sun (as usually happens), the Moon completely obscures the Sun's disk. A total eclipse means that the Moon is close enough to the Earth at the time to entirely obscure the Sun. (The Moon moves in an elliptical orbit, and thus has varying distances from the Earth. The closer the Moon is, the bigger it appears to us. When the Moon is distant from the Earth, what would be a total eclipse appears as an annular eclipse, or an eclipse with a ring of the Sun around it.)

Eclipses happen near one of the lunar nodes, those mysterious karmic points whose meaning everyone wonders about. Eclipses are precisely what the nodes indicate — the approximate location of the next eclipse. Friday's is an eclipse on the South Node, representing a release from the past; in particular, a past concept of your identity.

The nodes are points in space rather than objects. But they have the full power of any planet, whether there is an eclipse in the vicinity or not. They represent the place where the path of the Sun and the path of the Moon, which exist on different planes, will intersect. They also indicate approximately when it will happen, usually within a few days. Therefore, I consider them multidimensional points, combining two planes of space and the dimension of time.

The nodes dominate many, many charts and many lives. In interpretation, they act like portals to other dimensions, typically one's sense of what one has become (Ketu or the South Node) and what one is becoming (Rahu, or the North Node). The South Node is now in Leo, representing a kind of sum total of "what egoic identity we have become" and are in the process of unbecoming (the eclipse). These are usually experienced less like concepts and more like interior realities. In other words, they relate to how you feel, which can reflect who you are. Inevitably, with the act of letting go we open up to new possibilities.

What I like to convey is that an eclipse is a holistic event. It is something we experience with our entire being. In human consciousness, it is primal material. The Sun (our immediate local source of energy) "going out" is powerful territory for a tiny little human in a great big cosmos. The Moon blocking the Sun is the perfect metaphor for shadow, which is to say, engaging what in depth psychology is called shadow material: fear, deep eroticism, surrender to death and all the great many emotions associated with these things. We have an image of ego death, doubly iterated because the event is in Leo or Meo (meow), the sign of what we think of as the "self."

They are also intersection points between the personal and the collective. This is why they are seen alternately as harbingers of disaster (collective events that affect our lives) and as openings or opportunities (moments when the collective stands aside and makes a little more room for who we are). And this peculiar, almost alchemical power, is why we need to treat them with so much intention.

Friday's lunation is a total solar eclipse. Now, eclipses have returned to Leo, in the form of the South Node. There has not been a South Node solar eclipse in Leo since 1971. Looking at history, the early 1970s were a very unusual time, when we could say that people were willing to exchange an old idea of who they were for a new one. This mighty charge was let by the Baby Boomers, who succeeded in being the first generation to refuse to go to war. Then the war ended and opportunity beckoned and many of them, well, got stuck in that land of plenty. Notably, Pluto was in Leo in the birth charts of a massive swath of Boomers, and this last Leo solar eclipse seems to have activated that Pluto placement to full force.

Friday's eclipse comes within about seven degrees of the Pluto placement of those born between 1942 and 1948 — the vanguard of the Baby Boom. The entire Pluto in Leo generation is the beneficiary of this kick in the ass, and frankly the world needs it.

Bernadette Brady writes, "This Saros Series [group of eclipses] concerns itself with breaking out of a very negative situation where no hope can be seen to a more positive space containing many options. A worry that may have been affecting a person will suddenly clear. The solution is shown by the Cosmos and needs to be taken up without too much delay."

Eclipses stand alone. And in particular, Leo eclipses stand apart. Leo is the sign at the center of the zodiac. It is not the precise temporal center — that would be late Virgo. But in the astrological system, it is the sign that is ruled by the Sun, and the Sun is not a planet; it is the star that feeds us light, life and energy. It is our origin and our point of return. It, too, has an origin; stars are born, live and die, like all living creatures. They are as close to being alive as a supposedly inanimate object gets.

A total eclipse of the Sun in Leo stands as a direct invitation to wake up and pay attention to who we are. But rather than trade one self concept for another, we have a bold calling to trade a self concept for an actual sense of self. We can trust that the events of this time, some of which will feel fated and others we will invoke, are designed to help us do precisely that."

L.A.Fairbanks | Studio 314

 Bio

L. A. Fairbanks was born and raised in the rural countryside of southeastern Washington.  She has strong connections to the active rolling fields, the flow of many waters, the stillness of the blues and the ancient growth of trees. 

 She received a Bachelor's of Science degree in Environmental Studies from Utah State University, studying Soil Science, Geology, Plant/Tree Taxonomy, etc.  She worked for two years in a soil science lab, complete with geeky latex gloves, safety glasses and a lab coat.  Other jobs have included jewelry making and polishing as well as publishing a few essays here and there in publications of the natural world. 

 When Laurie is not making art in the studio she can be found restoring an ancient house, spinning chains of fire or chewing on rocks with her nephew...  

Statement

I revel in the myths of polarity, seeming opposites that draw each other as two sides of the same coin.  Such is my portion of this show, a conglomeration of opposites creating a whole: man-made versus nature, sexuality versus the feminine divine, capitalism versus value. 

The title is "Human Figure: Artists' Interpretations."  My interpretations delve into worlds within and without, showing figure as metaphor and literal, translations of the many realms that are human. 

"North," "South," "East" and "West."  The four directions.  Lakota Sioux descriptions imbue North with purification, wisdom, courage, the color white, and the organ of the heart.  South is the trickster, red, warmth, ability, innocence.  East is yellow, illumination, peace, birth, new life; our drive to rise and be reborn with the sun.  West looks within; it is black, the end, death, letting go and of the spirit.  Each piece I have created holds within it one direction, and yet all.  Copper, Aluminum, Brass and Wood.  Three + One = Four.  

Across the room from these four direction is "Goddess in a Bark Dress."  She embodies all directions.  Divinity and humanity, metaphor and literal, within and without.  She is man-made and natural, sexual and divine, value inherent and needing to survive.  During the first half of opening night, She will embody the essence of being female and tree.  Her interaction with the room will be in that place beyond words and the world's uses for trees and women as commodity, utility and recreation.  For the second half, Goddess will reveal the gifts of her humanity, and thus wholeness, through her interaction with the public.  Please respect this being and her space. 

North            2008                                                              $NFS
24" x 24" x 4", Round
Wine Barrel Lid (Oak); Aluminum Frame; Copper, Brass Accents; Birch Bark Breast/Eye; Yellow Wood Torsos, Oak Leaf, Birch Flames

 South 2008                                                                        $431
28" x 28" x 2
Wood Sheeting; Oak Torsos; Skeleton Lock; Keys; Copper, Brass, Aluminum Accents; Birch Flames

 East 2008                                                                           $431
36" x 36" x 3"
Aluminum Window Frame, Sheeting, Bus Sign; Brass, Copper Accents; Organic Material (Seed Pods, Japanese Lantern Skeleton, Dragonfly Exoskeleton, Dried Herbs); Glass; Birch Flames

 West 2008                                                                           $NFS
14.5" x 25" x 3"
Brass Eyes, Circles, Squares, Lotus; Steel and Aluminum Frame; Copper Accents; Bark Wings, Birch Flames

Birch Bark Dress                         $314
26" x 16" x 8.5", 2008
Honed Naturally with Steel Wool and Orange Oil

Tree Goddess                                           $431
36" x 19.5", 3 Panels, 2008
Photograph--Hahnemuhle Cotton Rag, Gator Board

 Goddess In A Bark Dress                                $NFS
2008, Dimensions Immeasurable           Live Performance Art

Process Description of L. A. Fairbanks "Human Figure: An Artists' Interpretation"

My art is recycled from other venues: metal scrap yards, the forest, junk stores, digging in the yard.  First law of thermodynamics, studying the flow of energy, suggests that energy can be transferred from one system to another in many forms.  It is not created or destroyed.

I often bring home various treasures: shapes, colors, ideas, random items discovered in my path. These stew in the bell jar of my brain until the moment when I begin searching for order with intent.  Then I simply pour, using the things around me, and the pieces create themselves.  Literal translations and metaphoric, though my mind is more comfortable in the realm of metaphor. 

Once the ideas have formed, all I do is uncover the beauty within and attach those things to one another.  Voila.  For instance, the piece titled "East" was once a window (all metaphors fully intended).  I had to scrape off two inches of tar and paint to uncover the beauty that you see before you.  I love discovering overlooked, abandoned treasures others discard, trample and refuse to see.  To unravel the layers of accumulated dirt, grime, and putrescence uncovering the beauty within. 

The first piece I worked on was "Birch Bark Dress."  This was on the forest floor, a rougher version of what you see now.  I was on a hike with my dog and a few friends.  Don't ask me how the tree came out of its bark.  I like that it is whole and round and fully intact.  I truly enjoyed uncovering its hidden beauty, honing with steel wool this exterior.  It felt like a woman in my hands, longing to be seen and heard and understood.  I spent many hours removing dull layers accumulated for protection against the elements… and when I got to its true essence, I began finding hues of orange and red peeling away some of the outer layers.  This for me is worth every minute of effort. 

Too much renovation, however, can leave them raw and overworked.  I like to get to the real beauty and then step back; leave it alone to let the inherence speak for itself, not the work.  For this reason, I like to leave things in their natural form whenever possible.  All the wood in this show is finished only with orange oil, to allow full interaction with the natural element without the interference of chemicals. 

Skip the Shampoo? Dirty Human Hair Neutralizes Ozone by Sarah Bates

The dangerous pollutant ozone, it turns out, is destroyed by hair and body oils, an oddity revealed when researchers at Missouri University of Science and Technology compared washed and unwashed hair. Environmental engineer Glenn Morrison and physician Lakshmi Pandrangi found that dirty hair—generally awash in skin oil—consumed seven times more ozone on average than did clean hair. The explanation is strictly chemical: The oils covering our bodies contain double-bonded molecules, including triglycerides, fatty acids, and a substance called squalene, that latch onto the ozone (O₃), neutralizing it before we breathe it in.

discovermagazine.com

• Moon in Gemini Jun 2, 2008 to Jun 4, 2008
• Sun in Gemini May 20, 2008 to Jun 20, 2008
• Mercury in Gemini May 2, 2008 to Jul 10, 2008
• Venus in Gemini May 24, 2008 to Jun 18, 2008