Prince of Midnight
It's getting cold in this northern city, especially at night.

I have the tips of my fingers always frozen as those of a dead. People have been telling me that it's proof of my being not loved.

Rather ironically, I long for attention and I pray to God almost desperately for that someday my hands could be held by someone else's warm hands, my sobs of aloneness into sleepless nights could choke and drown in long-lasting kisses. Though before that day when all these happen I need to play tough and untamable, simple for reasons of survival.

Little did I know that it could have come unexpected as a gift from the heavens: Friday. My prince came at midnight.

He drove all along from far west side of the metropolis through the calmed nocturne of the vast city, and stopped by at the entrance to the mansion. He called, and I only made him wait for half of a second to spit the fresh-fruity-flavored mouthwash to answer.

"Hey."

His voice, beautifully tuned and with magic of tranquilizing my fuss and fury, voice that I've always adored, echoed inside me after so long that all of a sudden I felt tears coming.

"Is yours a portal of similar style to that of the main entrance, with red lanterns and safeguard and all?" He asked, stating precisely all the details I had ever noticed.

"Yes. That one." I was left with no other word to say else than agreement. "Wait, what, you're here already?"

"Yep." He seemed amused by my panicking. "Waiting for you."

"Coming! Right now! In a sec!"

I threw away the phone and began to wrap myself in the Wal-mart-bought over sized sweater and grabbed a tiny pack of Fujiya candies, rushing down through the passage and the dark, narrow stairs for the elevator was too slow to meet my eager of seeing him again.

And there he was, smiling, gently in the way I was never able to forget.

He opened the door, letting me into his fancy vehicle, seated me next to him and handed me a huge box of chocolate tarts. "I have more for you at home. This is just for tonight." He promised next visit and gave an apologetic smile for which my heart began to melt.

"How are you?"

He looked straight into my eyes and asked in a tone as if he already knew the answer.

I could not lie in front of him, nor was I ever able. Yet happy as I was, I have no idea now about what I was talking to him or for what reason I was laughing and purring hard like a petted kitten on its owner's lap.

Memories flashed back when I looked at his barely changed face: intellectual, kind, well-mannered, deliberate, sincere.

I remembered the time I spent miserably locked upstairs to the school garage after coming back to Beijing where SARS had acclaimed life of numerous victims. In the quarantine room I had a bed and a table and nothing else but the absolute, soul-dominating solitude. I was starved, neglected, illy treated and forgotten by the majority of acquaintances.

He was the only one who dared or bothered to visit me. Through the narrow crack on the heavily locked door did my finger touch his, while mine were chilled like ice and his warm and comforting. He was the only one to have expressed care and worry on my person. He said, "You would look even cuter if with some more pounds" instead of the whole world's demand that girls ought to reduce ourselves till we become sets of skeleton. And when he was in charge of the school publication I was offered the chance to do the editing, inspired by which my own "Cliff" came into being...

Now I realize how much I've depend upon his kindness and how I've admired his person, even though he could never be exclusively mine, nor that I ever dared to have such bold desire. No, never.

He has been, and always will be my prince, my savior and hero of all my craziest fantasies. Pity though that I was never a princess.

I stood in the chilling midnight wind, my eyes following his leaving car till it was devoured by the thick darkness. Then I turned back, pacing towards my humble dorm in a sense of loss. The warmth I felt through the sweater when he pettingly placed his hand on my shoulders telling me to take care of myself remained spirit-lifting and I knew I would have a good dream tonight.

Even if you have never been in an Asian country like Japan, you may still have tasted Pocky or Pretz or other similar biscuit sticks type of snacks...And possibly you have a different way to enjoy it..

And here beside regular tearing the package apart-->picking up a stick-->starting to bite and chew routine, we have developed a rather alluring manner to make the best of this snack...People call it "Challenge", and game it often when you sense the need to advance the relationship with somebody you feel attracted to (or in the worst of the cases...some target you aim to seduce..lol..) Most of the time it works, almost dramatically.

One of the various reasons why it has become so important to Asian guys to use some "magic assistance" to archieve a break-through in dating, probably is that they're culturally conservative or prudent or simply shy. Unlike in Spain or Latin America and other countries, the Asian guys don't flirt quite as directly. For instance, instead of looking into a gal's eyes and telling her she's an evil little fairy that has stolen his heart, a Chinese guy would choose to send SMS in words of subtle ambiguity of captivating intention. According to my girlfriends, it might take several years before a guy eventually dares to hold his date's hand in some extremed cases.

Thus you can imagine how long it will probably take for him to attempt a kiss, which considered a milestone of decisive signification for guy-gal-relationship...!

And that's why biscuit sticks and the Challenge game have become so indispensable for them.

Ok now you're getting impatient to know how to play it huh? [twinkle] Here it goes...

1.Prepare some DVD of romantic and comfying comedy (make sure you've watched it and know where the touching part begins!) and clean up your apt. before you invite the person over...Do remember to hide your pornos and borrow a teddy or bowl of goldfish from ur neighbor elementry kid to make yourself a little more "domestic";

2.Invite her over and help her take off her coat...while try to be cool and talk about easy stuff like the weather or "How's ur day so far? Missed me?";

3.Seat her nicely (Make sure all your gross socks are perfectly hidden), turn on the music (not Death Metal, unless she's a fan herself) and go on with your topic or hers when sitting down narrowly beside (that's why a soft couch with cute cushions is preferable);

4.Pick a moment (and Be Timing!) using light-hearted (in case ur previous topic is a cheerful one)/ sorrowful and sympathetic (if it's a sad or depressing or serious one) tone to ask "What about we check out the DVD i just got? I heard it's a good one(It might cheer u up)!"

5.Turn on the DVD player (and don't rush to throw urself comfortably into the couch right away!), james-bondly open the fridge and turn back asking whether she likes to have a Cuba Libre and tell her don't worry about the calories u got diet coke for her (yea how thoughtful)...

6.Now finally the moment to use the magic tool! Take out one package of Pocky or Pretz (just one, remember! unless u want each of u two holds a box and eat), split it open and offer her to pick a stick first, then u pick one (just one...not a hundred!), then give her the whole pack. Sit down and make urself comfortably close to her (blaming the couch's too small)...

7.Watch the movie and ask her to pass u a stick once in a while (not every minute), take ur time to bite and chew and keep the noisy low...play with it like James Bond plays with his gun and all the fancy spy stuff...and manly!

8.When the movie's getting to the exciting moment, ask her to pass u a stick by a touch, a speechless hand gesture (pls don't make it too rude...practise beforehand to ur mirror if u don't get what i mean), to make her believe ur such a cutie that u'd be so much into the romance of the movie.

9.Receive the stick using ur mouth, not ur fingers. Note here: Don't expose ur tongue in the air! -- Make sure ur lips r holding it tight, then do a big bite till u can sense her fingers right there, softly on ur lips or so close u can reach it within nanometers.

10.That's when ur tongue starts to lick...Don't stare; better not even looking: Do it by instinct. Then use ur hand to hold hers, turn the lickin back to smelling (not like a starving wolf) and a gentle kiss, apologize politely by telling her she smells so wonderfully tasty that u took her fingers for vanilla-flavored cookie stick.

11.Repeat this trick again...Make it as accidental as possible.

12.When the movie gets to a relaxing moment, u turn to her and take a stick spontaneously like a naughty boy, ask her to close her eyes that you'd like to feed her.

13.Promise u won't put it into her nostrils.

14.Pick one end of the stick with fingers and place the other end tenderly on her lips.

15.Ask her to bite, and if she opens her eyes to look, say things like "u little cheater girl, got u red-handed!" and ask her to be a good player and to close her eyes.

16.The magic spell to start the game is "Ok now, don't be shy. Bite!"

17.Be patient if she bites carefully and slow...and make sure she's not peeking.

18.When she gets to the middle of the stick, replace ur fingers with ur lips (they're already moisturized by the diet coke and rum, not nervously dry and u've brushed ur teeth carefully and ur wearing appropriate amount of cologne right?), close ur eyes and bite towards the other set of lips...

19.Don't bite too hard, or too noisy...or swallow too soon to get choked!

20.When the lips finally met, and ideally she gives out a little cry of surprise and opens her eyes wide...You know what to do now. (If u don't, I pity you for u'll never get laid with a gal)

Maybe I'm making it too complicated and dramatic for some crude guys to follow...Ok so call the above game a "delicate version of Challenge for charasmatic guys"..

And for the rest of you, here's the simplified version: Only make sure ur breath is fresh enough and tell her u want to play a game with the sticks. If she's a wild one, tell her it's a game for courageous only; and if she's an obedient sweetheart, just give order.

It's Friday now, when people r supposedly in love..I've got Pocky and Pretz and diet coke ready and sellected South Park episodes...But where am I gonna find a guy to challenge me...?

Dear Fever
Please look into my eyes and tell me
my pupils of golden green shine
in a mysterious flame
crazily vulnerable, almost hysteric
like an ardent daydream
agonizing this windy autumn season

My legs are betraying me!
And my voice faints
I cannot feel but painfully cough
drowning in the ancient glacier
of millions and millions of years
far long before Epicurus was born

Old shadow from imaginary ghost
hailed to my cursed Thursday rainbow
Are you bleeding for joy or sadness
my fingers asked, shivering like strings
of Requiem inside Mozart's soul
Dead, so dead and chilled
for I'm burning into ashes of hell

Don't get close to me I shouted
to the emptiness of the room
on the 9th floor
The miserable inferno outside
excramates its daily noises
has fallen apart
and in filthiest notes it snores

Gone with the world
of Peter Pan's neverland
I heard the poet calling
for another voyage on board
Lead by Moby Dick and a Sea Serpent
we break the waves
towards treasure island
in search for Robinson
and casks of aged rum
buried beneath the seabed
The pirates of Conrad forgot,
or never returned

Let's talk about love
and glorious death
among green turquoise
and pearls of full moon
Always sailing
like in ancient stories

Then we die in the wide-open chest
or wake up in plain daylight
of cynical reality
moisturized by hangover
of the kiss of merciful narcotics

So my eyes shut
tight
and I began to breathe

Good morning, Fever

the last show...To David Bowie and if allowed, Iggy Pop...Lords of the 70s-80s glam-rock and raw-power punk.

Dim light of bloody sandstorm on pale faces
Asma-colorized zygomas right under twickling
eyes, sincere but indifferent, ardent traces
typically revealed in temptations
His journey ceased while oddity became torment
the Greek hero had gone for everlasting
fame, or a little boy's ambitious expectations
But he remained behind, sighing invisible lament
starting over for the greed of spiders
thirst for blood and flesh, hissing wilder
towards fatal spot of your exortic pupils
determined to enforce suicide, avenging the spell

Or rather a curse in disguise of blessing, probably
quite contradicting might be the true lodger
Your stage is in fur, your kindom exposed highly
stepped out of your outerspacer glamour
Back from where you began, in all denials
Charms and luxuries and conmemorable murders
against the limited basis, he went on wakeless furor
Let's dance, dear shiny diamond dogs, yet in low trails
O you pretty things, you scary monsters earthling heroes
you swing and drive you rise and sink in laughing gnomes
black tie white noise chops the tin machine, my captain
jump they say, let's spend the night together again

You, O so pensive, rather sophisticated
travel from station to station, ashes to ashes
Aware of your own soul, proto or manipulated
the marvel did occur, once, twice, a hundred times
betraying yourself, mercilessly, and hidden away
Beneath mask of an idol lie glittering slushes
I'm only indulgin' my overdosed beauty with the blinds
He hailed to the trendist fashion, just for O after today
Thus the nostalgic hunky dory suicided
outside the suffragette city, painfully divided
into modern love for aliens and poor jean genie...
Were you who sold the world, or the wild-eyed Ziggy?

My sweetest O prettiest and most sauceful
Starman and absolute beginner for evermore
your lads insane have retaliated the implacable
Forgotten moonage daydream revolted then
from prudent lust against back side of breaking glass
You intend to lure! Cat people imitated your roar
accusing Sunday of cowardly sober, idle heathen
of eluding his profligate gloss, whereas filthy class
looked back in fantastic anger
Hours after, always on your adventure
he sensed éclat, as enslaved sound an vision
traverse seven amiable changes by petition

Poor Jim, you elegantly shook head, sighed
with legs crossed in most graceful design
So least in ecstasy, so rich in resurgence
now you stand as perfection, tidy in defense
Never, pretty things never go to hell
African angel up there must survive and dwell
Through pellucid yet serious moonlight
you slowly burned into honorable debris tonight
Apart, distorted the diurnal gospel
unworldly enacted another Utopian morale

America embraces your glory, dilated blue
Spaceboy and Soul and Thin White Duke
were buried again and again and again
taken for signs of perfidy
Along width of circling stain
the rebel boy slipped away
silent in motion he stayed
backwards,
into the fated reality.



Alex says...
David, I was watching the last concert of your Ziggy Stardust persona with the spiders from Mars...It struck me what a life you've lived thru all these years.
I'm glad to see you're a happy man now, who lives in peace and heavenly sobriety...I dedicate the humble rhymes to you, sweetest sire, along with my full admiration.

And if you permit, I'd like to dedicate it also to Iggy, for in those days of glamor and raw punk power, together you created an immortal legend.

So the beginning would be
like in all the remote times
once upon an age, far beyond a sea
to set the scene into foggy romance
of another world
which never exists.

There the sky was forever blue
the ocean ever-so-brightly green
rainbows above cataracts of morning dew
unicorns wander, gold larks sing
high and unsurpassed castles
locked inside fire dragons that eat lives
and beauties the most beautiful

Sons of shoemakers or millers or bakers
grew up into handsome knights
with a little help of cats in boots or fairy grandmas
marched forward, ambitious, spirit high
for fame and fortune and the reward
granted by fingers of marble of her madam

If all these were true these sweet endings
of eternal love, forever happiness and peace
Where do the miseries come? or the grieving
Where have all the nobles gone? and the Gods
Now the princess extends her arms in vain
Nobody arrives in her royalty's protection

Next Halloween comes closer and so was winter
She's all well dressed up
waiting
for some miracle to occur
as decors of the dull teenage years

Cowardly he muttered
very embarrassed of the expected refusal
Waiting

Moon hanged in pale early frost
agonizing painful moments of lonesome
night-day-night-day-night
all dark and moldy
same is my hope your promise
gradually become rotten
in lucrative dead dirts of feverish gold
second by second
drop by drop
piece after piece pace followed by pace
of your life and my dream
gone
with the changing of seasons
all deadly

We, at present have a righteous start
as opening line of typical stories
just the start
in gray colors in chill upon smoky land
ragged cabins humble fences and yards
packed with firewood and poverty
Hunger stood in sight, silent eyes
gazing through your windows
sunlit corridors of palaces of death
reflections of yielding length
her laces, in shiny blue sapphires
like eyes of Happy Prince
nowhere else
but in Eden the lead heart and the dead swallow
again or never returned

Trees of silver fruits and nuance
Paris and the destructive elegance
tomorrow after next day of his birth
resemblance along reasons
petals of lilies' remains
de profundis of tortures of emotional break

Messy logics in your trembling desire
Delightful suicide
Masters of the land lords of merry
they were buried fast asleep
six feet under the abandoned infierno
of lost myths and his kingdom

Later, and be patient, she told me
in the forest of lost paths
echoing among narcissist reeds
the brave bird bidding pouring storm
as blessing for his only wedding
at a wrong time as wrong groom

Set off our battle ship my good captain!
Towards the Treasure Island and Atlantis
As we are all courageous sailors
racing the wind, over waves of sirens
Normal as amnesty, flicking the wings
I float on your big blue surface, quietly sick
and pale like a water lily
spit out of crocodile's over fueled greed.

Look back my guardian angels
what do you see? what do you hear?
what was is all left behind?
what was the pity?
Was it a broken heart onshore
Waving crazily to call for backward
Or was it severe temptations
drowned inside of your nameless domain?
Mermaids of seduction?
Or Sea serpent of long lost waters?
Aiming to destroy all satisfied idiotic looks
they spot on human faces
due to everlasting envy
and aloneness.

Farewell dawn of my first summer
He pronounced and turned away
searching tracks of Peter Pan
He so as well went, for ending
and never bothered to come back again.

They mentioned canned pineapple
in metaphor of love
old movie set in remote city
30 days, they said
and after, love no more exists

In fact it was only a week.

First Day
He came along and gazed
at my shaking knees
of shyness
A compliment, kindly
was sent as Christmas gift
Father and daughter
all dressed in southern latin pink
My breath
so gracefully bedewed
in buddhist moonlight
poisoned with eyes open
opium poppies
O lethal blossom

Second Day
Into eyes of homeland bliss
Splendid was the glow
on white marbol
a twilight of Aries
Greek hero hunts, thirsty for fame
and delightful list of encounters
You place me on top
Morning star O son of brilliance
Jazz music and our bloody wine
Nostalgic, melancholic
Tourist you were drunk
with my exortic charm
Me with your fragrance of northern sea
When we meet again
somewhere in the future
Tell me,
how he finally fell down and died
Which was his last word
The loyal messenger
and shells of Santiago
full of belief,
so fragile and lost

Third Day
Long time ago from far away bay
surfer boys sing and rock
O wouldn't it be nice they acclaimed
when all girls were local
and good vibration,
O God only knows
L.A. legendary Eden
you colorized all your kids
when they fight and dance
Wonderland of the 60s' madness 70s' lust
brought along your kidnapped speed
my dreams of beach heros
dark hair dark eyes above dark motorcycle
we were back in high school
me the biggest badass in town
you my sweetheart
Instead of bloody mary I ordered
Shirley Temple non-alcoholic
it's not enough
to lose my head
sorry man
I ain't no player

Fourth Day
Rich in flees
Thick in shameless skin
Dirty danders in flaxen waste
Cunning foxy jokes
Boring boiling blood
Took your textbook out and read
Cogito, ergo sum.
No more than pet and man
or cat and its old maid
Rolling up into one
like jungle creatures
I am
for another time out
into a small cave
to get my wounds open up and bleed
no hurry my soul fixed since
I'm already dead

Fifth Day
Smile like hypocrite
Silvery grey ties
remind me of the lost island
ablaze in November summer
horizonal love
But no you're no musical type
elegance consists of my being
watch if steps mess
heartbeating remains calmed
in tic-tac
today, impossible
tomorrow never

Sixth Day
Devine gentleness
tender, sweet, warm
calls up and then shuts
my entrance towards Heaven
or your world
Teach me how to spell
my promised salvation
in your graceland
Bright color of deserted state
tutor of my defeated faith
Rescue me from the empty well
Death awaits
or Inmortal happiness
all dependent
on your prayers of sapience
right here,
right now

Seventh Day
Hopes are blew out
Hearts rest in peace
Your walnuts cracked
into bitter refusal
Nightmare whispers your surname
threatening with ruin
Does it agree to erase
that night that teahouse
two strangers in big crowd
recalling 700 kilometers away
your past my future
now we're here again
Starting point
never appeared.

Gone all my genies.
Like petals of sakura
butterflying in agony
in my backyard of May

Wisdom Teeth And Expired Love

Dear mine
I whispered your name
into the big blue sky
of this dying summer
Yet sunshine
still colorizes your hair
touches your bare arms
floating through your breath
You
O sweet August rose
in splendid blossom

I was weeping in fear last night
imagining days, all the coming days
of my lonesome life
without you O my light my love
And cried out loud feeling
poisonous jealousy
biting my juicy little heart
That man will undress you
in name of his privilege
as husband
I'd drop my eyeballs out with streams of tear
when hear in pure illusion
your mourning
in wedding bed

My Goddess
don't go...
please stay and let worship
Be my belief
and most purified ambition
Someday, I always thought
You'd realize
How empty the world is and I am only one

But no, O you happy little bride-to-be
Please don't bother
to hold my hand for
sympathy and the last time
Don't look into my tearful eyes
Don't smile and sigh

I promise you a nice and clean toast
on your wedding banquet
In tone of the best friend and admirer
to congratulate the groom
and recite delightful verses
On true love, loyalty,catholic duty
ending with "happily ever after".

My daughter is three years old, he said

Oh actually three and half.

I believed each of his words

asking about her zodiac.

Um I remember her birthday of lunar calendar

I assume, Ok it should be Virgo

 

O sensitive perfectionist

Vunerable and defensive nature

Your daughter will grow up

into a graceful lady

and gets hurt

 

My friend of Leo you acclaimed not buying any of these

and you're convinced she was you lover in past life

You don't plan to quit smoking

or drinks tagged alcoholic

You go on for lust and your intentionally rotten youth

Now you can't I hope, now

you can't.

 

She lives with grandma

She does not kiss you when asked to

She cannot always feel trust

in you, her father and a 20-something rebel kid

You shrugged and frowned

It's all too late or early.

 

Declaimer> especially for Nine, and his 3-year-old Fifteen.

I've had enough of
repeated questions, upsetting worries and whining
plain faces with disgusted egomania
behaviors of least merciful
So
Stop the nagging
Shut ur whining
Clean the back of ur ears
and ur fake O so fake makeups
Turn back
March on
Never look back at me
Leave this one alone

I saw the blood
agglutinated on the dead man' body
it was no more a tragic
I cursed your curses
now they came true
Tortures are forbidden
on next Valentine
Nonsense he spits
without a flower in hand

Doves died
in wars and plague
Venus is a whore
selling fastfood-packaged love
in dark street corners
along with her flesh

Men are evil
Archangels acclaim
blowing the horns on the trial
But women
women are nice and gentle
Oscar Wilde defends
before they turn 14.

O my brothers
let's please extinct
in huge numbers, all at once

I fear death,
the rich kid says
and pain