This year was my first ever festival never mind Download and it was amazing. I loved every second of it even the bit where i was rocking back and forth like a chicken cos i'd blanked out on Nos lol. The bands were amazing, standouts for me being the show stopping performance by Kiss,  The energy of Disturbed and Skindred, the sheer Metality of Judas Priest and the beutiful voice of Sharon in Within Temptations set! Loved watching the fuel girls with my fella and his mate at the Monster arena and watching them pour beer and energy drinks over my fella whilst having their boobs out made for some fab pics lol. Loved building the fire last night as well and having to put it out because we got a bit over excited with the cardboard and stuff and nearly set the camp on fire :S lol. Plus I met some awesome people who joined the coalville crews settup (Big shout out to Darryl, Luke and Jess from Darn Sarth lmao :P ) Hope to see you guys there agin next year and also have another awesome time Rocking Out!

Bring on Download 2009!!!!!

 

XxClairexX

Things are so good at the moment, i’m constantly busy, constantly loaded and constantly in love. It’s fab-u-lous. Saturday night was the best night i’ve had for ages. Met up with some old friends at the vic and then caught a txi to leicester at 12:45 to go RET to watch Steph DJ. Was a fab night i got to headbang to some great songs and meet some interesting peeps and make friends with Blonde Paul who talks as much crap as me lol. We were there till 5:15 am as by then i was wrecked as well as absolutely exhausted. Was in bed till the following time Sunday afternoon recovering lol. Am having a brill week so far as twice this week i’ve been sent home from work early. Yesterday at 2pm and today at 3. Can’t wait till Friday, am going essex with matt and craig to see Jess and bring her back on saturday. Then out again to RET Saturday night. I. Can’t . Wait!!!1

Well it's a new year and i have  had a lovely new bloke for the past 3 months who i'm hoping to finnish this year with as well as start it. I think it always helps when you get together with someone who was previousley a mate, someone you knew was there for you to talk to if you ever needed to, someone who was willing to come to see you and use their petrol instead of yours (:P) He was a fab mate and now he's a brilliant partner (don't use the term bf- childish)

He's not this big tough bloke he pretends to be sometimes though and thats's what i like about him...he can tell me anything and will let his barriers down for me to help...the long and short of it all is....I'm very happy and really want to make a good go of it with this one and beat my record of 2 and 1/2 years!!!

I swear to god that there is something wrong with me, yesterday mornign i woke up at about 10 and just lay there, knackered but not able to sleep and for some reason i kept thinking of places i went with Ray...it's been nearly a month now since the odd and abrupt ending of that relationship and yet memories that i though had dissapeared along with the photos and items belonging to him are still embedded in my head.

I wish there was some type of device or medication i could use like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, because i remembered a hug and a photo on top of Tamworth Castle...i remembered the view and the sounds as if i were there and worst of all i remembered the feeling you get when you have someone who cares for you's arms around you...god i miss that...I'm still bitter i suppose i don't usually let my feelings out but i think that's my problem...i keep things bottled up and eventually they gotta come out somewhere...

Since we broke up i've started going out a lot more again, one to get to know more people and catch up with old mates and two, to take my mind off the fact that despite all the things i say and do, i do still miss him and i do still wish that we'd tried harder to keep it...stupid and pathetic eh?

I went out a couple of weeks ago and had a great night, picked up some German exchange student who was pretty good looking and terrific dancer but i couldn't bring myself to kiss him...i just couldn't it was just wrong...why am i still holding on...we've had no contact since he picked his stuff up so what am i clinging to exactly????

Wanna know the worst of it? I keep looking at his myspace and checking on his messages on facebook...please...PLEASE shoot me...

 

XxClairexX

This weekend has been brilliant and it's not gone too fast it feels like it's been a whole week of just going out and partying and it feels great! I went to leicester with Matt on Friday night and had a couple of drinks and games of pool in Odyssey and then went over to Loughborough with Lee and had a couple of drinks and a littlle boogie in Vice Versa and then got back in the car and went to the vic at about 12 and had a good rock out and chin wag with my old pals from the vic...it was brill and then I met a proper biker called Tony who seemed a right knowledge box and a good talker and listener...

Saturday morning saw me waking up after hardly any sleep and being sick and then I went into leicester to meet a good mate Sean who i've not seen for yonks, did a bit of shopping and had a stroll to Abbey park with him, he's a good bloke to talk with and then I met Andrea and Sam and finally got Andreas number so we can arrange a good old girls night out should be a laff...and then Saturday night went to Leicester with Big Dave and Matt and then went to all the gay bars we could find and had a few drinks, Quebec was pretty good if it was busier it wouldn't have been so slow but then we hopped in a taxi and went to Loughborough to have a good boggie in Vice a Versa again with Lee, Matt and whoever else was there we knew...

I had a right good time, had a good little boogie and had some lads dancing behind me, couldn't grind like i usually though as my back pack was in the way, won't take that next time lol...and then crashed round matts, watched spider man and fell asleep...then got up went to Dono Market which was closed today cos there was some car race going on so went Measham Car boot instead had a great day again and then next weekend am off to Mosh on friday night and then Ashby Statutes on Saturday night...SORTED!!!

 

XxClairexX

Well that's it, got my stuff back today so everything is over and finalised and i no longer have to think about all the good things we had together all the converstaions and walks in the sun that made us both smile, all the nights we've just curled together and slept...

It's weird cos I'm told that it's wrong that i want to move on so quickly and remove these memories from my life, but if i don't they'll just dig away at me and i'll never move forwards... I so wanted to talk today but his face was so cold and hard and i just didn't have it in me to start talking and have him say 'Oh for fucks sake, Claire'...Before the break he shot me down with that exact sentence every time i tried to explain, i cared about him and i actually thought that i truly loved him, but it can't be love if it's not worth talking about and fighting for...

I tried to open myself and express my feeling without having them thrown in my face ( see poem) but even that was read as attention seeking...I gave up i refuse to punish myself, so call me self centered, call me heartless but i do what i need to stay on track...

I got in touch with a driving instructor today and am starting my driving lessons in 3 weeks...I want to travel now...that trip to the Peak District was the most freedom i've ever felt and the most fun i've had and i don't want to lose that just because i've lost the one i shared it first with...

I want an old banger that i can do up and be proud to call mine and i want to take my sister around the country on adventures as i realised that me and my sis are so close and i missed that when i was with Ray...it was my fault but it's hard to decide between two people you love who should get the time with you...

I have nothing in my house to connect me with Ray anymore, everything is gone just as it was with my ex whom i was with 2 1/2 years...that's a past life old memories that just hurt and i don't want to hurt...i need to be happy for the sake of my family, job and my own soul and feeling of self worth...

I am Claire Louise Wooldridge, Single, Hard working, Friendly, Headstrong, Opinionated, Forgiving and independant...and if people can't handle that or match any of those then don't even try being my friend...it just won't work...

 

XxClairexX

Well it's been a while hasn't it...i'm bored and have a little free time on my hands so thought i'd just let people know where i've been hiding lol...

I've been working in my new job which I absolutely love and makes the week just fly by, and i also have my weekedns back...WOOHOO! I got paid and didn't expect to and got £336.96 for 2 weeks! So i'm going shopping in nottingham with my little sis tomorrow!

I've got my lovely new fella with whom things are going very nicely, this week we haven't seen each other much though as our work hours have clashed but we're meeting tonight down the vic so if anyone reads this before about 9 ish...we'll be there so come say hi cos i've not seen any of the vic lot for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages!!

My lifes' going smoothely at the mo and i'm hoping that this second half of the year will be brilliant and next year even better YAY!!!

 

XxClairexX

Ahhhhh this half term has been great, i don't think i've ever been so slobby yet had so much fun at the same time. Wooo am single no longer so yay. Have good job on the way further yay! And have scooter so thrice YAY!!

Ahh strange how after 5 months of a shitty year things finally start coming together. The jobs crappy pay but allright hours, the fella aka penis for some strange reason is a lovely person who i'm lucky to have met as i've never met anyone quite like him before and the scooter is my new love...she is not to be touched by anyone but me or else...*evil eyes*

Looking forward to this weekend, was hoping to go out tomorrow night but am staying in to greet my sister and tell her all about my half term plus no one else is going out lol. But Saturday ahhh it cannot come soon enough...I want to go to work on Saturday morning and for the day to just shoot past so i can talk with my pard'nr again... The other stuff is great and you all know what stuff I mean but...I've never met anyone who i'm just as happy to be around and talk...it's bizzare...but then again in my last relationship, we never spoke...just did alot of the other...makes me wonder what i was thinking really...

Hmmm...anyway where was I? Oh yeah going out Saturday night! Well after hopefully some other lengthy discussions we may be going the vic to start with, then off into Leicester..no idea where we'll be staying i'll leave that up to the Cowboy, then i have no idea how i'm going to get home in the morning hopefully a lift....but who knows lol

So Sunday should see me not getting home for any time soon and then the weeks back to normal for a bit. But woe is me! Wednesday...bloody wednesday all my mates are pissing off to Download, including my newly found racing partner :( I could cry blood tears at how lonely i'm gonna be...I have absolutely no idea what i'm gonna do with myself...I'll just stay in and be lonely i suppose...but it's only till Monday not like it's an entire week then...well...nearly but meh...

So anyway...Weekend good *thumbs up* but Week bad *thumbs down*...I don't like Download, i've decided...it steals my friends grrr...I will be there next year though so HA! Download will fail to take them from me again HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

XxClairexX

Awwwww the joys of having a moped at last! I finally got my ped back after a week of waiting as the evening after my CBT the bloody thing broke lol...Well i took it out tonight so i could go the vic and i had what could only be described as a bloody good night!

Tall Dave was there so introduced him to Sir Percy Mildred (ask Dave/Ray) and discussed how different bits of table ware walk (again, don't ask) and met back up again with old friends Pirate, Ginger Dave, Fran and Fay. No alcohol so i was being good as i planned to drive home.

And then Red Necked Ray decided to show after many angry texts from me and Sir Percy! And considering it was our first meeting we got on bloody well. I find that there are only very few people who i can talk to constantly for hours and Mister Ray is one of em. Good news also found that the pair of friends who's relationship i felt responsible for destroying are back together WOO! Anyway we had a boogie and then before i realised the time it was last orders and time to leave and go home.

But I didn't end up going home, i went round Rays instead. Good ole Ray giving me a bed to sleep in and some more chatting shit company lol...Innuendos a plenty as well might i add...lol so a jolly good night all round or as Sir Percy might say "Spiffing!"

Hope to have a re-run soon...twas a good ole knees up what what!

 

XxClairexX

Well it looks like life really is a balancing act...Since the split from my bf my life has been tipped upside down and flung in all directions...so much that at some point i just felt like giving up all together...But now, i couldn't be happier if i tried...

Last night was the best night out in two weeks...I met someone who on here was such a sweety and last night it turns out not only is he a sweety but he's also a total hotty!!! We clicked and it was great...I love his hair it;s so purdy and he kisses great as well :P...He's a true gentleman too i missed my last bus due to being...erm ...preoccupied...and he paid out £23 for my taxi....:O...a true gent...I'm paying him half back but it just gives me an excuse to get some more time with him...

But just as my life seems to just get better and better, my friends life gets more and more stressfull and more and more complicated...The problem is i get on with the two people involved in this complication and seeing as the whole thing was partly triggered by me makes it hard to stand by either side...On the one hand i have my friend whom is a delicate person, very much guarded and wrapped in a shell where as on the other hand (even though apparently she only talks to me cos she wants to keep an eye on me...so i've been told) I have a gentle soul, in love with nature and all things beautiful who feels at a loss as to exactly what has gone wrong....i thought things would sort themselves out but it turns out that some things can become too painful for people to deal with and they just have to cut everything off....

All i want is for people to be happy...you can't get on with everyone not matter how hard you try, and someone always ends up getting hurt...but life is like that...nothing ever works out how it should...and at the moment i just hope that the two people involved can move on with their lives and find happiness with being themselves....you shouldn't change for love...

I wish them luck and pray they can have a good time being single...it's fun in my experience :D

 

XxClairexX