Red - King Crimson

Arghh... this is like, the best album ever.
Mainly for Starless, the last track, which I always listen to first, and then again at the end. I love the way it just builds up from inside you, so you can almost feel your skin tearing towards the end. If there any anology, it would be like taking a shower in blood, horrifying, and yet so warm and.. well, Red. I really hate the way it's associated with 'Starless and Bible Black' - which I found unlistenable.
  Oh yeah, the rest of the album is amazing too, with the same kind of heavy, claustrophobic feeling, perfectly described by the title [is each song a different shade of Red?]. I didn't even mind the pointless-instrumental-wankery song on this album [commonly known as Providence], that you seem to expect from King Crimson at some point, as it gives you time to collect a snack and prepare for Starless, hell, it even has a certain appeal towards the end.. Basically, this album tends to put me into some kind of coma throughout, which most albums just don't do, and thus I take this to be a sign of greatness. xx

Second Life Syndrome - Riverside

Another album that feels like being inside a crypt - but this time you are accompanied by a manic depressive who won't stop talking about his ex. But, I kinda like that, so it's okay to be listening to the Emo version of Porcupine Tree once in while. Most of the lyrics are a bit scary, they speak of love and of obsession/dependance, even the last song, which becomes a little more optimistic is named 'Before' to contrast with the first song 'After'. But the sounds are hypnotic, psychedelic, so you hardly notice the lyrics, and are instead surrounded by a dream-like fog of noise, the guys' voice is both whiney and soothing, making hearing this somewhat soporific, but not in a bad or boring way.

Hey, Hello, Hallo and Hola.
It seems to have taken me a bit of time to come to terms with the fact that i'm not actually in Germany any more, and won't be for quite some months, and getting to actually writing anything about it has been surprisingly painful. So i don't think i will write a lot, just post some pretty pictures for y'all, and write a summary, for anyone who cares :-}

Okay, so i arrived at some time of the night [after having my biro confiscated at the airport] to find a familiar smiling face at the airport, and was welcomed to Germany pouring rain and shit-tasting bottled water.I arrived, after a slightly odd midnight drive, here:



obviously, i couldn't see it at the time, as it was dark

After a day of general relaxing , i was dragged out to a medieval/viking themed pub for my first experience of foreign language non-conversation. Well, okay, people did get drunk enough to speak to me, and they were sweet :-). I also drank mead out of a horn, something that everyone should get the chance to do at least once in their lives, damnit.

Germany seems to be made in an entirely different way to England, or at least, the countryside. Different in the way that, there don't seem to be any towns as such, just picturesque, traditional little villiages dotted about the hills, and any town larger than these seems to be considered a 'city'. And i'm so glad for this - any other way would be pure treason against the breath-taking majesty of this land. The sunlight and fresh rain appears to be captured in every leaf and each blade of grass, forming tunnels of emerald trees, fields and forests of malachite, interspersed with these anicient dwellings of man, that appear to have always been there, because they are meant to be there.

in other words, everthing looks like this:



We visited one of these 'citys', later in the week, by the name of Gummersbach, and we went underwear shopping. [sorry marcus >.<]

We also visited a real-live fairytale castle, named Schloss Homburg it was yellow, and looked a bit like this:


well, actually exactly like that, because that was it.. :-/

There are apparently quite a few castles there, called 'Burgen' which reminds me of hamburgers, and another topic i could write several essays on - german food :-] It's just generally better. Everything's covered in chocolate! And when they make fast food, it's not all grease, and it tastes good, and the meat at mac Donalds actually comes from germany =] and you can buy pastries with praline in.. and just look at the fucking Nutella jars! ->


ermm... anyway, enough of that...

We also visited Cologne, and climbed the 3000 and something steps of the cathedral, which, to be honest, was rather terrifying, but the view was magnificent, i managed to get a few photos of this, although it was raining.







well, okay, that last one is a Chocolate Well... o,O

um.... I think the day after the Cologne trip, i left.. so, if you really want to depress yourself just read the entry before this one.. In the meantime, here is a picture of some wine, on a table, at night:

I awoke this morning, in a little bed far above the ground, finding myself completely alone. Looking to my right i found no sleeping face to welcome me to a waking paradise, searching for something soft and warm to hold, i found only a hard wood beam marking the edge of the bed - like when yesterday, on seeing the ocean, that once meant freedom, to be now only another border.
  The whole of that journey, only yesterday, only hours ago, had been exquisitely painful. Watching from the air, over a rapidly shrinking highway, for the car containing the one you love, only for everything to dissapear behind a wall of cloud, and whiteness infinite.

 But memories, as clear as rain, play across that blank screen- Dark heat in a lonely house, kissing at traffic lights, sparkling green, firey orange, and a Love Supreme.

   So, there it is, Jack Kerouacs' On the Road. By no means an easy reading experience, at times to get through more than 3 or 4 pages was impossible- such is the boundless energy of this mans' prose. It fills the soul with lust, joy, and al the desperation of this search. Spanning the whole of America and ending at its' tip, Mexico city, the land of verdant brown- lush, perspiring, pure and ultimately free. The end of the North, but gateway to the gigantic, un-dug South. As a loosely autobiographical account, this crazy lifestyle is described with such urgent clarity that you feel every twist and turn as a leap or a plunge in your heart. Each character comes alive in honest, flawed detail, so much so that whenever i hear a Jazz record I can't help but see Dean Moriarty, the divine Con-Man and hero and Spirit of the story [some would say of life itself] swaying and sweating, crying out for the spontenaety and adventure of the melody, yelling "Blow- Blow!" with orgasmic desperation.

  Kerouacs values are something of the true spirit of life, of freedom. Joyous expectationand longing to discover. Keeping your trunk packed and just beneath the bed, constantly ready to drop everything and just move- out to the world of new roads, trying everything for new thrills, and feeling the sore tired beat of those roads beneath borrowed wheels. Because where there is extasy, there is despair, one moment more and there is neither, as they fuse each others tracks on this big ride. Experience for experience sake, because that's all we really have, and all there really is. This elixir is what is distilled in this volume- the pure spontaneous energy of life.
  This is how books should be written, devoid of this false, simmering, psuedo intellectual insecurity, but with words that so obviously leapt form the authors heart and into his hands- coursing as blood, spilled as ink.

And thus concludes the most wonderful week of my life..

It's difficult to find words to speak about this without sounding entirely clichéd, but i can say now that my feelings are akin to being one character of some great love story, the greatest ever told. The plot of this tale crosses borders, timezones and miles of land and sea- miles that are easily run, lines and borders erased by a gentle hand.

Just one week and i am entirely sure now, that i am the luckiest. I see the future before me, safety and closeness always, our future in pathways and plans- tangiable, and near enough to hold. Don't mind the time, distance and emptiness are replaced by new adventure and insight, the golden road to a golden goal. The future, i'm sure, will be as full of love and laughter as this week, with the most amazing man i'll ever meet.

Tihi, i can't believe i just wrote that,
sorreee
^.~

Gah, feel, irational, weird, the most natural thing in hte world, write down? okay? snippets of conversation? okay.

It's like, i physically can't stay here any longer, or something inside of me will die, trampled into the dirt of home forever, mingled with the dust of the feet of elders, betters. And something on the roads is making stream rise, no reason how, why, whatever, stronger than the desire to eat, for sex, to be loved, is the stream inside telling you to run- now. Not like the hare, running from a thousand baying dogs,  although you hear them, in the rain, in the reports, but the same creature in March, running for it's life, for the spring in its' soul. Somthing that makes you want to scream and score unintellible things into pavements, packaging, minds and the sky, poetic hypocrisy, all that you know, you hate, you are. That you run from.

[why the hell has the writing in this thing gone all small??]

another edition of the Tao of books catalogue arrived today. For the majority of you who aren't hippies and never have been, i refer to a catalogue of reduced price 'new-age' and spirituality books that occaisionally mysteriously appears on my doorstep [probably another remnant of the time i thought militant-vegetarianism was a good idea]. Glancing through, there are quite a few books for people with thyroid trouble, 'how to cure cancer the drug free way', 'heal your body and mind through correctly placed magnets', 'the macrobiotic solution to diabetes'.. now, i've never had diabetes or cancer, but i'm sure i'd be thrilled to discover such an easily obtainable cure in one shiny, paperback volume.. More fat burning Foods- 'the bad news is that it's easy to gain weight, the good news is that it's jsut as easy to lose it'- yah, like, don't eat as much?

Moving on from the 'Bargains- health' section, we find 'Bargains- personal growth' [extended massive orgasm, Feeling good- the new mood therapy, out of the box for life] you're temporarily flooded by titles promising to show you a 'full way of being' 'total enlightenment' 'the right path to life'- every one promising to show you the light, and truth, that you've always been looking for. But, what is this? one review describes it as- '[connection to] the eternal, ever-present One Life force beyond the myriad forms of life that are subject to birth and death', it is written by a man who is said to have felt such connection, and now continues to live, purely in the moment, feeling the breath of creation anew each second, he must be awfully tired.. i suppose this is meant to appeal to peoples curiosity, to encourage them to buy the books and try out these theorys for themselves, but, thinking about it, it would require a complete change of life views, as well as lifestyle, to follow through some of these ideas. How many enightened masters do you meet who work 9 to 5 and have kids, and a suburban garden? how many enlightened masters do you meet, full stop?

--tbc. this song put my mind off complaining for a while, goddammit -.-

..forced me into writing this blog. Which i can tell, by the heavy, blotting feeling in the air, is a damn mistake. But- it's not my fault, i am innocnet, for  a few months, but it's awful, too hot, especially today. And I'm Glad, there's not a webcam in this room, because it's too hot to wear many clothes, mostly just scarf, pants, beret. And ohhh gawd- I'm gonna DIE!

And i'm getting so goddarn FAT, in fact, if anyone sees me eating chocolate for the next few months, you have my permission to kick me in the head, if you can/want to. Or you could just warn me, because the hills have eyes, ya know? Diamonds are forever, walk again. Uh.. you may be asking, by now, 'was there actually a point to this? is there something important this girl's been thinking about today that she wishes to rant about in a non-confrontational way over the freefree internet?' the answer, of course, would be no. There is nothing that i can think of that i could write any kind of rational essay type thing about right now. My mind has been vitually unable to form or comprehend any kinds of theorys or ideas or concepts  [hell, i can't even read books] for quite a while now, well, okay, there mgiht have been things, but i certainly can't write about them in an orderly and constructive manner, and it's begging to 'get my goat'- if that's the correct rarely-used expression, which i don't think it is..

But i do know that a certain countdown has begun, untill July 3rd, for which i am eternally blessed. Although i don't actually know how many days, because i cannot count, i'll have to get one of those internet-generated thingiebobs, that would be fun..

all that we needed to live has burned up in a silver sunset, what light is left? our souls as fuel- he took a right turn. then another. but all roads led back to her, you can almost trace the map out in his bloodshot eyes. Amber nectar, fuelling the blood on the edge of town. Take a pen, read a book, television screams in your afterthought. yet another weekend is killing you, killing me. Take it, you can take it, they'll get over it, & then you're gone. Zip, bang goes another, you throw, it bounces back, hits your palm, hits you hard, through your hand, cus there's nothing left. Killing me, killing you. Dregs follow dregs, follow drugs follow fate- bag lady smiling, red sweltering millionaire, goorish and dusty, says he knows the way, from the edge of town. Follow, follow, you dare. And you do, because you see it, wide open, blue. the girl you follow, she's following you. cus she's all you need, power supply, wrapped up empty, bow and taggit. Case of beer, doctor say, send you down to the blue lagoon, pelican, mermaid. Who she tempt today with her silver comb and acorn true_ never you?

Well i've been living on a cloud for 9000 years, and my religion never changed 'till now.

Today, i was priveleged enough to embark on a cerain pilgrimage, with two great fry-till-the-ends. The same pilgrimage as seems to be taken annually, every spring-time, to Aldis, and beyond, on, to the mystical homeland of Tree. [Gee, that's a lot of commas.]

Obviously, we didn't begin our venture to the tree straight away, for we required sustenance; caffein, books, precious sugar to fuel our hearts and creative minds on this journey.

 < it's called a Mega Moccachino, some of the blobs are marshmallows. Procured from the Coffee Pot.

        

^above is the 'garage sale' store. me and wes bought books from there, although we could have equally bought scarves, a toilet, a dolls house, or even soil. :]

 

^official proof that weymouth is a freakin' weeeiird place to be..

 

^the Temple of Thrift.

 

^we bought sunshine juice, but this one had a funny name.

 

^Macaroons!!!

 

^bubbles and wes, by el Tree.

 

^me, flying.

 

^bubbles, at the park.

 

^St Wesley herself, shining the golden light of Sunshine Juice apon Wesley Street.

 < weird book i bought.

Poem of Today:

It smells of Poo and Leaves,

And a Summer breeze,

we're filled with glee and gloom,

Soon we'll be back in Toown-

It's a reet laff,

END.

And of course, we mustn't forget the pink notepad and the girl, and of course, the mysterious bag...

I daresay there will be many videos on wesleys youtube [if she has it??] which you may watch, at your own peril. I'm not uploading any of mine, due to my cameras evil treachery.. .

xx

I am currently eating a veggie meal. It's like, mushroom and herb balls.. i was considering making a special yoghurt earlier, but then i decided not to because my head just wouldn't be able to handle it at the moment.

So I'm stuck here with some mushrooms, my flute, and some books i can't be bothered to read. Why oh why is everything so boring? or is it jsut not, and it's just me? Yeah.. I think i'll go with that explaination, give me something to get all 'depressed' about. No. Fuck that shite. In a world this freaky it's just not worth getting depressed about something so idiotic as a personality. They're all basically the same anyhoo.

Aaaaanyway, back to veggie meals, they're tasty, nobody else seems to think so, but they are. I think now would be an appropriate time to drink some baileys and go on gaia and talk to some american twats who think they're literate when they talk emo. that's not literacy, that's just ego. And why can't i type because or just? and a what, when who where had ten faithful serving men who hit you with a book or someting.

[insert Panic! at the disco lyrics here]

Mm.. honey roast peanuts and cashews.. and you know what really pissed me off about today? It was really, really cold. it's always cold, i wanna have some beach parties and go swimming but it's jsut too fucking cold to live or breathe or walk or move or do anything any more.

And you know what really pissed me off about yesterday? I found out there was sewing machine oil on my childrens songbook. Believe me, my brothers, i was peeved. But don't worry, it's gone now.   It's ALL GONE now. and the only thing left, is a bowl of mushroom and herb balls, which is going cold.