THIS IS A TRUE STORY - SWEAR TO GOD! Happened at the hospital that I work at.

This guy in his early twenties comes into the ER stoned off his fuckin' ass. He's all sweaty and shaking, and obviously had a bad case of cotton mouth cuz he had a biggie size order of fries in one hand and a Big Gulp in the other. He's screaming to the nurses that he needs to be seen right away. He's afraid he has contracted some sort of tropical infectious disease or some shit like that. He paces the floor cramming the fries in his mouth and guzzling down the drink until they call for him. The nurse takes him back to the room and asks him to strip down & put on a hospital gown. She comes back in the room to assess his problem, and asks him what his major complaint was. Before she knew what was happening, the guy pulls up the gown and shows her his penis. "Look," he cried. "It's fuckin' orange! I look like a damn Oompah Loompah!! Am I gonna die?" The nurse looked at the patient with a smirk on her face, as she had noticed the patient's right palm was the same color of orange as his penis. "Oh...I think you'll live!" she said, and went to call in the doctor. The doctor entered the room and asked the patient outright what he had been doing prior to realizing that his penis was orange. The patient stated that he had been watching a porno flick and jacking off. The doctor asked him if he had been eating anything at the time. The patient said, "Yeah, Cheetos...why???" The doctor busted out laughing and said, "Look at your penis...now look at your hand!"