I had written this lengthy blog about how i broke up with my boyfriend, was stalked by my babies daddy, dissed by the evil dyke who leaves masses of lesbo carnage on my trail while she pretends to want me. Then I found this....and I decided that this was what I needed to share...that other shit is in the trash with all the other bullshit stinking up the world....this is much better for all of us....read and share....If you are able to read this....I do really love you!

"HAVE YOU BEEN TOLD?"
Have you been fed today?
Has anyone told you
today that you are loved?
Has anyone made you feel appreciated and let you know you how special you are?
Has anyone assured you that you are exactly who you need to be?
and that simply doing what you love to do,you are doing enough?
Has anyone reminded you that you didn't come here to prove anything?

You just came to be YOU!
JUST YOU

Because being you is enough.

You are one of a kind,
A true original,A masterpiece of
INCOMPARABLE VALUE.
and without you the world would be incomplete
Like a puzzle missing a crucial peice.
And you are the only being in the universe that can fill that final space.
Has anyone told you the regrets of yesterday?
belong to yesterday.

and that right now in the profound moment in time
you are perfect.

As perfect as you were created to be.

Has anyone taken the time
to let you know that
you are infinitely smarter than you
give yourself credit for being?

and a thousand times more
capable of achieving your
dreams than you believe yourself to be?

Has anyone told you
that you should never,
ever doubt your own WORTH?

Because even in those moments
when you feel it the least you are still WONDERFULLY MADE.

and there is within every single cell of your being enough power to Light the world.

Your God placed it there the day you were born,
and every loving thought you think.

radiates forward,brightening the world and making it a better place to be.

that's how powerful you are.

that's how Loving you are.

so now I ask again.....
have you been fed today?

Has anyone told you that you are truely loved?
won't you
If not,then please
Let me be the one?
you are Loved.

you are Loved.
you are Loved.
words by Katy Novak

This year started out with a bang... moving into a beautiful home, ending domestic violence and endulging in the spirit world...it was such a journey with many events that stand out in my mind. I so greatful to the following people and experiences.

1. Elegua Bembe and the Awan....singing and dancing for Orisha has become one of my favorite things

2. Omani turned 2yrs old. He has survived 9 surgeries and is thriving beautifully. I thank my family for turning a horrible rainy January day into a beautiful birthday party for my son.

3. The Oshun Bembe in my house...living with over 30 Orisha, Egun and Ancestors in my house for 7 days  was wonderful. Modupe....Ashe!

4. Richard, Porter, Mkali Hashiki, Arnita, Darrly and Courage are the best God Sisters and Brothers I ever had.

5. The Jill Scott, Erykah Badu, Bilal, Bobi Cespedes, and Omar concerts were worth every penny I broke myself for.

6. Ramona Webb....thanks for giving me so much to talk about

7. Craig Mcgavock thanks for making me smile and reminding me that I am worthy of Love

8. I had one of thoes roommate from hell situations...but thanks to a lot of prayer and spiritual work...SHE"S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! Modupe Modupe Modupe!!!!!

9. Thanks Valerie Troutt for making me cry at all your performances.

10. Thanks Khalil Anthony and Hippy Sauce for the much needed artistic inspiration

11. Thanks to Eric Newport for re-connecting...I love you girl

12. The Africa party was fostered and killed by The Women behind the Vibe Lounge...never support them....they are evil incarnate!

13. Obama is our first Black President....and not our Last!!!

14. I'm now offically doing photography...I like it

15. I'm studying to become a Doula...helping women bring life into this world is hard work and a blessing

16. I have Sista-Nauti, Eric Waverly and Alicia as the Cast for "Suga Cane" a play about Love writted by. Reshawn "Bushmama" Goods. It will begin pre-production in Jan. 2009

17. I found my inner gypsy, bohemia, and hippy love child. They will all be very present in 2009...ya'll get ready

I will never again question the power of God. I've seen my life transform because of belief and prayer. I've seen the sick heal, the sad smile, the hurt healing and myself become my whole true self. I had to shed friends, relationships and drama to get here, but I'm so glad that I made it through. I will be prosperous in the next year. I won't struggle like I did this year monetarily, I will be more fullfilled spiritually, I will produce more artistically. I am healthy in life and in love.....abundance is my new mantra...I wish it for you as I do for myself...may we all have all the we need!

I pray that everyone has a blessed new year...Be the change you want to see in the world. Pray that it catches on and that we all start to use love in the place of all the hate!!!!

1. (sing it) Who do you Loooooooooooove? me

2. What was the last thing you kissed? (yeah I said thing) a nipple

3. What makes you sing? love

4. What made you vote? change

5. Who do you hate? bigots, pedifiles and homophobs

6. You now have the power bring back life...who would you awaken? my grandmother

7. a slap on the ass makes you ______________? tingle

8. who do you want forgiveness from? Kourtney Lynn Smith

9. No one knows you really like ______________? Hindi movies

10. Who can't you wait to kiss? Akin

11. What do you sing in the shower?  songs for Yemaya

12. Whats your religion? Ifa

13. Who brings out your good side? Sabrina

14. Who is aching for you? my woo

15. Looking or Taken? on lock down

16. Favorite song lyric right now? I beat it like a cop

17. You like to gorge on? red grapes

18. You would rally for _____________? womens rights

19. You long to meet? The Dali Lama

20.  I'm in your life because ____________? ur funky funky fresh

Before you read this story I want to reach out  to non-queer folk in the Bay Area because it will take some of you to join in to help fight injust against all women. Women around the world are at the mercy of men and laws protect mens right to hurt us in a plethora of ways. We must change society by first changing how we view the rights of women. Lets focus just on protection. Laws are not set up to protect women when we are being threatened or hit. We as women must take accusers to court in order to start the process of some shotty ass assumption of protection. It needs to be automatic...in the law...that no man or woman is allowed to abuse anyone...Abuse as defined by the law means : to hit, kick, hurt, scare, throw things, pull hair, push, follow, harass, sexuallt assault, or threaten to do any of these things. Abuse can be spoken, written, as well as physical.....if any of these things are happening to you contact authorities and get a restraining order...thats what the cops will say...when I asked what happens if that don't work.....the cop said nothing...read on

(taken from http://thelesbianlifestyle.com)  In some places in our supposed "free country" being a queer woman of color can be a crime.

Last year on August 16th a group of seven young lesbian African-American friends from New Jersey we're hanging out in the West Village of New York. As they walked by Dwayne Buckle a NY resident, he began to proposition and harass the women including saying homophobic insults and grabbing his own genitals.

One of the women had enough and confronted Buckle. Soon a physical fight occurred between him & some of the women. After Buckle pulled out chunks of hair from one woman & chocked another, one of the lesbians, Patreese Johnson pulled a small knife out of her purse & aimed for his arm to stop the attack. A surveillance camera shows the struggle between Buckle & 4 of the 7 women involved.

Two men came to stop the attack on the women. By the time the police showed up the women were across the street. Buckle wound up in the hospital for five days with a lacerated stomach and liver.

Interestingly enough, no blood was found on Johnson's knife. No forensics testing was done either. No search was ever conducted by the police for proof of assault. Yet the four women, all first time offenders, two of whom are parents, sit in jail right now for anywhere between 3 and 11 years.

Not only do we see the unfairness of young lesbian women not being free to go where they want without being harassed, we see a racist queer hating court system that does not feel a thorough investigation is important when it comes to black, young lesbians. These women were also sentenced by a jury of all white women. Hardly what I'd call peers.

The media had a field day with this story this spring portraying the women as a "gang of angry lesbians." Making lesbian synonymous with angry man haters & reducing a group of young black people to simply being a gang.

We lesbians & queer women of color need to stand up for ourselves & the New Jersey Four to show we won't be bullied by a sexist, racist & homophobic system.

Lesbians, queer women & trans folk of non-color need to stand with us & lend support for LGBTQTS rights and dismantle our own prejudices.

All allies need to stand up and be willing to fight in what ever way for a change to this corrupt injustice for these women and women everywhere.

Party for A Cause is a new house party series that raises funds for worthy folks as we get our boogie on. This friday the beneficiaries will be the NJ4...come to the party or drop off a donation...whatever the case get involved...this could be you! Party Friday night 3865 Market St Oakland...food by Good Tings Catering Co. Drinks by Juicy Chokolate and Perfomances By some fly sexy mamas...music by Jah-May-Kah  and Dj Black...get into it!!! only $2 dont holla just be there~

Take me back....to 1978 I'm 8years old and we are at Feather River Camp with our entire family. Mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousin and extra extended family. We have made this trip every year since I was five but this year was extra special because I was able to wonder around the grounds in complete freedom (so we thought, we never wandered farther than we could be summoned by voice) I took advantage of all the orgainzed activities...arts and crafts, trail hikes with the guides and nature walks I took alone discovering bee hives, fire ants and banana slugs slithering on trees. Skipping around singing my own little girls songs, making friends with white kids who saw black people for the first time. Fun time was spent spieing on the grown-ups who were engaged in card games and deciding who was makin the next beer run. Thoes were the good ol' days and that night when all the families left the mess hall after dinner we all piled on to the veranda for a night of line dancing. Dancing has always been my thing so you know I was in on it but once the whole gang joined in it became extra special. The song Pata Pata came on and I was transformed. I danced my little heart out that night.....the song was so good when the activity director asked what we wanted to do the nextday we all asked to dance again to Pata Pata...Through out the years I wondered who sang that song but couldn't figure out who it was. When I asked around I couldn't find one person who knew the artist behind the song. Its always been the onset of some of my sweetest childhood memories and even now when I hear it I'm 8 all over again. Today Pata Pata was the first song I heard today and the message following the song was Miriam Mekeba passed on. She died after performing which is how she has always expressed wanting to pass.....I'm happy to know who sang my beloved song..I'm sad that it took her death for me to discover this but Im relishing in the fact that she is now and ancestor I can call on when I need to heal family wounds...I will pray that her song comes to me in dreams with family so that it may sweeten our relationship. I pray that her cross over is easy and that she will rest well in the after life. Modupe Miriam Modupe!!!!!

life aint easy baby

but you makin everythang alright

i said life ain't easy baby

but you makin ev-ery-thing all right

my bills are late and my rent is due

but your kisses got me feeling high

**************************

The police came a knockin

but we can't hear them at the door

The police has come a knockin

but we can't hear them at the door

I'm being pretzled up by my baby

legs on the wall, head on the flo'

*************************

add a verse, add a hook...I dare you! some of ya'll are hillarious so keep it sexy and funny...just think poor and in love.....

I wanna change a piece of sociallized programing..lets put and end to the phrase falling in love and start using standing in love...the connotation of this phrase changes the way we think about the newness of a new relationship. We tend to say ooh I'm falling in love or so-in-so is falling in love. This says we are unbalanced, out of control and destined to land somewhere undesirable. When we stand in love its say we are aware of our choice, we are sure of it, in all its vulnerability, in all its newness, we stand, we are present, balanced in our choice.  The outcome can only be more love. We could choose to stay standing or walk away but we are less likely to feel extreme lost if we choose to walk. Falling can be hard to get up from, there could be injury of the heart, mind, and body. This takes much longer to heal from. I'm saying all this to make a point that we need to choose what we say very wisely....or lives are depending on it.

I was asked to write vows for people all the new people now allowed to get married. Here's a sample....written for my Ogun Meyi

"Open"

we are infectious laughter in the wind

holding hands and fragile hearts

you love me...in the midst of learning who I am

seeing my potential

knowing my future includes your light

I am the sweetness you seek

you are the strength that I crave 

and together we make the world stand still

holding its breath while we kiss

moving again once we make love

creating new stars as a gifts for this joy

I love you....while learning what kind of man you've become

enjoying what I feel

surrendering to this desire 

becoming your wife

After the tears fall.....I can see clearly now the rain is gone (sing)

I've been running from adversity but its all I see coming

I've been running from drama but she's becoming the new black

I've been hoping for a miracle but its the only thing I lack.

My positive side aint gettin' results and my reserved side is being disrespected, dejected and deflected

Forcing me to stay real when everyone is not...when everyone else is not!

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, (sing)
I can see all obstacles in my way

there is something to be said for the possibility of new love that makes all this bullshit walk...I'd rather sing than cry

my enemies are sur PRISED

at how quickly I rise

my fire forever smoldering in their bellies

their hate is clear for all to see....how stupid you were to ever doubt me

I got a love that can not hide

its swimming and swurling deep down inside and I'm freeeeeeeee

to be my true self, all complicated and shit, all emotion and true intent

as these tears fall I feel no pain...open so wide the ocean is my reserve tank

the earth is my pocket book and I'm shaking it free of annoying crumbs and lint

that means shotty ass niggas and backstabbin bitches

cus theres only room left for the lovers...the ones who love back, love hard, love deep, with no fear

the end is near...why waste time worrying about tomorrow

Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind (sing)
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day