Did U Know: There are no rules in life.

If you can know the 'seed' of conception, the source of the fruit, the full intention of the truth, you may be one step closer to understanding the answer to "why?"

In business, there is the time the idea is born and then the time the idea is 'incorporated' and the interaction between those two energies is knowledge that one must understand to be successful.

Similarly, running a transit chart for your birth's conception gives a "snap shot" of what was being planted into the natal chart. If you are one of those moms who know when you conceived, this is the kind of information that astrologers can use, so keep that information in the baby book!

On personal levels, take a look at the psychology of the relationship between the seed and the birth. Was the fruit born out of the seed of love, commitment, dreams, hope, faith, conflict, power struggles, insecurity, desperation, guilt . . . you name it.

A good dose of all of it was sown into you in order to transform and elevate the family's survival and evolution on all levels. While you are an individual, you are still human and humans have that intense and basic need to survive, your family thread can sometimes be cut, but its still the same thread.

Success in this world requires an integrated being on all levels of existence. Leave one of the levels out, and well, there's this saying about "a couple of cards short of a full deck." In which case, you will find yourself working against the "deadly sins" rather than rowing gently down the stream in the dream that is your life.

Flipping out of the matrix contraption requires a new navigation system. The poles have shifted -- or rather, will shift whenever you are ready for them to do so -- and before you know where you are going in this reality you want to create, you have to understand and know where your "center of gravity" is. [Ref. Ouspensky's "The Fourth Way."]

In astrology, its the cardinal compass points of the zodiac. And, just using basic astrology, the midheaven can really stand for your external achievements, career, standing in society, etc. The nadir or opposite of that, would be your internal grounding and the depths of your roots. "The deeper the roots, the taller the tree."

Looking at the Ascendant and Descendant axis, the questions comes to balance of "me" and "the other." "Do unto others as you would have them do to you," and "be the change you wish to see," and "you reap what you sow," all those realizations can instantly change your perception on any number of levels at any moment in time.

The balance between "you" and "the other" . . . moving into this Aquarian age, this becomes a major point of transition.


We are coming from Pisces culture programming, and the end of it at that, so there is the best of teachings and the worst of its teachings, and that's why our choices are OUR choices and not our parents, etc., and our choices need to be clear and aligned with our highest good for our survival and that of our children.

Finding that balance and the imbalance of your "programming" is the goal of viewing the "conception" transits, and applying that information to the shifts in your "zodiac compass."

If you make the decision to "be" in the reality you want to create, you have to know how to navigate and read your compass.

peace & harmony,
elaine '
freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

hmmmm . . . i don't even know how i feel.

i'm depressed.




i'm baffled.



i feel like i'm out on lake that has iced over. and its that slippery sort of ice, not the dry kind when you can actually get a decent footing . . . every time you shift, you fall or nearly fall from the new balance on this slick surface that demands every muscle of your body to maintain an upright position.

And there is no edge to try to "move to" to get off of it -- it is boundary-less. And, there's no telling whether the ice is thick and if you move, is it thick enough to hold you there?

And, even though you are with people, their hand extended in help, and your's to them, its useless because you are all there in the same situation and, to be honest, its better to balance on your own than with anyone else because their zig is your zag and it is just not supportive of any one's individual movement. save, for the moral support ... and that moral support is important in times like the one's we live in now.


every now and then, on the ice, someone tries to move, and they start falling and reach for anything to help them maintain their balance.

their attempt at movement comes with a swirl of motion to retain, regain or establish their balance in their new environment . . . and even though the movement may have been just a baby step to the left or right, today, every movement seems like a whole new reality that requires redefinition of everything the last moment was.

and, if you are standing close to one who's moving, and hopefully you are because you can watch, learn and be inspired to unfreeze your being, you do risk being hit with their flailing limbs, words, emotions, etc.

so, i guess, the lessons of the day are . . .



the game of the universe is one called chaos . . . when your reality bearings get thrown off, breathe in the new reality to reestablish your wherewithal.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

6 days, maybe . . . or 4 months from now?

one week.
next monday it will all begin . . . or rather, the final act shall begin.
the penultimate act. perhaps, of this phase of my life.

to begin anew at a different level, the story i am to play.
what is my next role?
there are so many things about this role I play here in vegas that i love, that give me a thrill, that make it so wonderful . . .

i wonder if this is how actors feel when the shooting of a movie is almost complete and the character that they have been so intimate with for several months is about to be no more . . . what i am experiencing right now is how i imagine that feeling would be if i had chosen in this path to be an actor.

but, then too, there are so many things about this role, I will never have to experience it again. i'm just done with that experience and will never again to do many of the things i did in this role. i just don't have to any more, i "got it" and can now move on into the unknown of the future!

my daughter has learned how cruel this world can be, she already knows the truth of the darkness this world has to offer. her knowledge will prepare her for her future, knowing she can do anything, and really has nothing to fear because she has seen her largest fears and she has survived.

now, she is learning how to take that darkness and transform it into a deeper love, a broader view of tolerance, love and acceptance. i do this along with her.

so, we live, laugh and love a bit more today than yesterday. most of the same remains, but somehow, its a little bit lighter to carry today, and we keep on keepin' on.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Have you started playing the role of your life? Not "the role" of your life, but going for it and being you -- creating the role you are here to be so that our collective experience, our collective cosmic story is fully realized at its highest level?

Are you really standing up and honoring in the best way you know how your truth?

Are you the roller on the table? Or are you the one telling the roller what to do because you cannot yet be the one who controls the table? Or are you the one telling the roller what to do because that is your role to play, they are listening well, and together you are making magic in the creation of that table of success and abundance and love?

Last night I was pleasured by TCM's presentation of one of my all time favorite movies, "Funny Girl." It was my first "favorite movie" as a child and to this day, even 30 years later still tops my very short list of "favorite movies." Not being a fan of musicals in general , I always find this movie on my list to be an odd one.

That movie and the conflict between Fanny & Nick too closely mirrored the conflict in relationship in reality, I had to get up and walk out on the movie not once but several times just to catch my breath.

The truth that you cannot give to someone what they do not have for themselves, cannot find for themselves, cannot gift to themselves and their destructive actions to both themselves and to the relationship because of it, just hurt too much.

I fell asleep on the end of the movie, as I suspected I would when I decided to begin watching it at 11 p.m., and perhaps I did so deliberately because I never liked the end of the movie. The reconciliation that must take place within the innocent, naive and 'what you see is what you get' in me therefore 'I accept what I see is what I get' in you is too personal for me, as I am naive in that way. The truth that most people do not have that perspective and cannot accept themselves, and consequently cannot think that others will accept them just as they are, is often something I overlook when dealing with others.

I often do not understand the inner conflict of worth that pushes toward self-destructive behavior because people feel that their worth is being more degraded because others offer a way to help to end that spiral of self-torture, or offer an alternative to that inner conflict. And, how can anyone understand that path they are on? So they flash out at intimacy they know is their lifeline, and those left holding the other end feel useless holding the rope of a life preserver that floats on the water while they swim further out to sea for their own reasons having nothing to do with the one left standing on solid ground in their own truth.

The need to and the innocence of self-identity and walking the path of the inner me in the outside world is the lesson that film always brings home in me. Both characters do that, just one in an acceptance of self and crafting the life, the other in an attempt to craft a life to find self-acceptance.

Still one of my favorite films.

"Don't rain on my parade" . . . because life is a parade, decorate, dance, and share with the world what your inner being is here to share!

Me ... I play roulette, but craps is my 2nd favorite game!

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

8 Days . . . Full Moon in Scorpio/Sagittarius . . . manifest your inner truth.

If one is just going through the motions of being, the truth never really manifests.

You cannot do it for anyone else, no matter how close in relationship you are, how intimate you are, how connected you are, it simply doesn't work if you do not do it for yourself.

Sure, you can blame the other person for being "x" and use that as your justification for what you do . . . but when it comes down to it, and you remove the personal perspective and look at the empirical evidence, what actually transpired? What were your actions? What were your justifications?

Reading the transcript from the trial of my friend, is hard. I'll read a bit and have to get up and walk away for a minute or an hour. The picture they so want to paint of the reality that they want to exist is so ugly, and that ugliness comes into our home, into our lives, our beings and we have to live with and through it.

The darkness seeps into our relationships, it seeps into our family, it creates chaos when there is none . . . but that's our blessing, really. Its not a pretty blessing because when the darkness breeches our dikes . . . those we so diligently maintain to preserve our existence in the light . . . the impact is devastating and damaging. And, the damage can't be undone, only learned from to do what we most want to not do, build higher walls to protect against the darkness.

I resist that urge because so many teachings say that's not the real solution. Or maybe it is. I have learned in my life, that maybe that is the solution. That my vulnerability to the destructive wave that darkness brings to my being can never be overcome, that the walls need to be more fortified -- perhaps its just for a time and there will be one where I can live immersed in the wholeness of it all and have balance of existence where there is no suffering and pain. I don't know that place yet, except for when I create it with boundaries, barriers and walls of protection.

Can the lowlands in the Netherlands ever co-exist with the North Sea without the dikes? And, as global warming increases the levels of the sea, can the 'lowlands' be protected without higher walls or some type of barrier from that rising sea. And as the storms come with the rising waters, one storm after another will cause the impact that leads to the solution of protection at a higher level of sustainability.

So too with energy and your various levels of existence. As you call more and more energy to you, and the more you ground the energy in your being, yes, you can sustain increased levels of darkness. And, only when you spend time in the torture chamber of overwhelming darkness, can you know what you can handle ... and that this is the level of darkness that lurks just beneath our consciousness.

And, it is in that torture chamber you are prepared for the new level of energy. Dark and light come together to become the power that grows in your life for your transformation, transmutation and eventual control and use.

It is through our greatest struggles that come our greatest strengths, and when you realize that journey is one that only exists in your own mind, you realize that sometimes the struggle with the darkness isn't your's, its their's. You just happen to be experiencing it with them.

'that which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.'

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

9 days . . . this has been the roughest one yet.

I once toured Alcatraz Island . . . long after it was closed as a prison, and the part that creeped me out the most was the "Dungeon." It was everything I imagined a dungeon would be, but with more modern fixtures than those you would envision in a dungeon that you would have read about in a historic novel.

The unraveling of the 'evidence' against me -- the evidence they dare to use against me to somehow say I conspired to kidnap and indeed did kidnap a child has the stench of a dungeon's keeper.

Small notes here and there to one another, the characterization of how others view my 'intentions' or 'motives' are so criminal in their minds, just lay out fodder for the rats in our midst to swarm with frenzied emotions of darkness and death. At times, I just had to get up, tears in my eyes and find my daughter and hug her . . . it was unbearable.

It amazes me how strong she is. Sure there were times when she said she didn't want to go back to school, and we didn't force her to go when she couldn't. But that she was able to excel and even at times have fun in that environment is a testament to her character and perhaps innocent -- so much of which was lost this school year.

But, to be honest, going through all this stuff was just mostly sad. I cannot imagine living in a mind that creates that kind of reality by choice . . . or maybe not by choice but its just merely the perspective they happen to have given their life's journey.

Its hard to take the ride there. Perhaps what scares me the most, is that the jury may be made up of people who live in that reality rather than mine.

I told my father-in-law earlier this evening that this was a journey of truth, faith and hope. And, indeed isn't that what life is?

Sometimes its just nice to realize you live in the world you live in and not someone else's! Other times, it makes the world a very cold, dark, lonely and desolate place and you just need to realize that life is a choice and you can stay in that place or you can grab the conveyor that will click-click-click you up to the top of the hill to drop you off for the ride that is your life.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

P.S. 10 days and counting.

12 days . . . and counting . . .

When standing in the fire storm, its nice to have friends and support. Sometimes they drop a bucket of water on that finger of fire that has just erupted so close to your body, you can smell the singed hairs.

My attorney, Mace Yampolski -- WHO, if you are ever in Vegas and get into ANY trouble whatsoever, is THE man to call -- sent me an email yesterday with an "offer to settle." When I saw his email, the words he used seemed kind of strange. "Settle" - - I've been charged with a crime as the result of a political railroading, how do you settle that?

Now, don't think I didn't think of some terms that I would "settle" for, but none of which include anything but, "We are so sorry Mrs. Clermont to have put you and your family through this hell because, well, because we could. We're dropping all the charges. Again, we apologize for losing our sense of community, our sense of right and wrong, our common sense."

They have offered that if I "submit" to "trespassing," all would be dismissed after I take an on-line anger management course. "No." was m simple answer. BUT don't think that I'm so full of hubris that this didn't look appealing or that I didn't listen to my attorney's pleading with me how this is a no-brainer. After all, if this does go to the jury, I face the potential of life in prison. And, juries are juries . . . and we are in Las Vegas, where things get rigged and stacked against you so you can't win for losing.

Here comes that bucket of water: "Where did you trespass?" asked my husband, "your own home?" ssssssssss, as the flame that just flared is extinguished and our circle in the midst of the fire storm is once more secure.

If you are ever told to lie to get what you want, your desires, your dreams -- that ain't the right way!

I can go into the discussion that if I did submit, well then, the District would have its scapegoat and I could go on with my life uninterrupted -- but then I thought about it, "am I a scapegoat?" Only if I choose to be. "My life uninterrupted"? Hmmmm ... since this is the path of my life, and this is the journey that I have co-created with the universe, how can my life be interrupted by its own design? My life wasn't interrupted, my life was steeped in its purpose on the path it has to follow. ("The path is narrow" reminder.)

Staying in the light, knowing and living and walking in the truth can be so challenging and tempting to lose sight of that which is important as your life is connected to the infinite that connects us all. If you choose to connect only to the mundane of the everyday, your connection will forever remain at a level that never gives any real connection with purpose. If you choose the road of separation from the truth, you have chosen to disconnect from god/universe.

Walk it, be it, and if worse comes to worse, fake it until you understand it!

Be true to you, unafraid, uncompromised and unashamed.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Last night I had the first dream of the trial it was mixed up with the local city election we are having today . . . and it was ugly. Not in the sense that it was going badly, it was just so ugly. First, it wasn't being held in a courtroom. It was like a conference room in a public library or hotel or something. The jury was pissed off at the judge, the judge was pissed off at the attorneys, the clerk of the court was yelling at the witnesses, and the marshal was arresting people. I was sitting there observing it, focused mostly on a very young juror (who looked like the "high schooler" in the movie Dodgeball) tried to actually go through all the papers and kept saying, "we need to hear the witnesses answer this." At some point it was over and I looked at my attorney and asked, "I guess I'm not going to testify?" "No, there's no need to. Its all over." The young man was still reading the Public Concern Forms they believe are so horrible. We walked out into the hall and the dream ended.

Anyone else who has gone through this can relate to what I'm saying. Anyone who has been charged with a criminal offense for doing nothing more than making your own decision on how to best handle a situation that the "authorities" did not agree with, or even if you did something you knew was "a crime" but the justice of the situation was greater than the statute on the books, or even being charged for being at the wrong place at the wrong time, or being set up through the dishonesty of small-minded individual, etc., knows what I'm talking about. The level of the darkness that presents itself is unlike anything you have ever experienced on such a personal level.

Even though you *know* you are protected, you *know* that if you are walking in the light the universe/god is going to be exalted which means the truth will be revealed, that gets blotted out by the clouds of dark matter that makes up most of our universe.

But as well, we *know* we are NOT all light. We are a balance of light and dark -- equally and perfectly balanced in our own uniquely designed balance. So, you also *know* that if it is be so, that which we *think* is the light may actually *be* light. We know that the universe/god has a bigger view of the lightness and the darkness, and its balance, and that your path may not be the one so obviously "in the light." Or, be the one that you desire.

Then, when all else goes away, that which were instilled in us as children come to our aid and comfort . . . much like Marie Callendar's pot roast provides that comfort of home because, well, because you simply can't cook pot roast like your mother.

For me, in the christian household I was raised, we memorized the bible . . . passages and passages and passages of the bible. It is those memories that often get recalled upon waking, and "he will give you the desires of your heart" was the passage that was echoing in my ears as I awoke from my dream this morning. That passage comes from Psalms 37 ...

¹Do not fret because of evildoers,
Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
²For they will wither quickly like the grass
And fade like the green herb.
³Trust in the LORD and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
⁴Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.

The "delight yourself in the lord" is the key for the passage to work . . . what the heck does that mean. Well, hmmmm, if i were god and i wanted me to delight myself, what would that mean? Its like being a parent of sorts . . . what do we want our children to do that just gives us the goosebumps and makes us cry as we laugh or smile?

When our children are being unfiltered, purely and ecstatically themselves is when we cannot be happier ... whether they are singing at the top of their lungs, playing with their toys in a world that exists only in their room and their imagination, riding their bikes with no hands, playing their instruments in their own band (no matter how it sounds), reading their most favorite book "of all time," sitting alone staring off into space, conquering level 213 of ____ video game, or merely sleeping in until 3 p.m. in the pile of what they would call their bed . . . the relentless sacrifice to their own choice of experience in the moment.

After returning home from voting, I thought to myself, "ok, what do I need to do today?" And the answer was "whatever you want." Delight myself and continue to walk in faith, my *job* for the day.

Remember, you always have the right answer, you just have to ask the question!

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Just as Chiron swapped places with Prometheus on the rock upon which Zeus bound him to be tortured daily by the griffon, so too we move to the next phase in our lives. It is no wonder that all this we are experiencing is mirrored in the sky by the Jupiter/Chiron/Neptunian conjunction.

Last week, the saner people in the City of Las Vegas saw through the political railroading of the School District and the District Attorney and found my friend NOT GUILTY of all charges. So, now is my turn to be tied to the rock to endure that which they will sling at me with all their venom, anger and negativity. Prometheus is free to go, while Chiron waits his turn to be killed, rebirthed and placed into the heavens by Zeus.

The need to perpetuate and sustain this political attack is acknowledged as part of the process of the de-construction of an already out-dated and archaic form of existence -- that of the small minded, short sited and closed hearts that seek to protect only that which they care about: themselves. This isn't about the children, it never was for them. It has always been about saving face and protecting against being held accountable for their callousness, their carelessness, their failure to listen, their arrogance.

Their position is so tenuous, their jobs have long since lost the true focus of their position, it is now and perhaps has always been about, their positions, security and the little bit of power they *thing* they have.

Gone, if it ever existed, was the truth that their jobs only were to facilitate the support of a productive, healthy, safe, secure and balanced community. And, as they continue down the road of self-serving, ego-fixated momentum, I will keep the faith that, 'the light of truth does bend toward justice,' and once revealed this ghastly display of abused political power will be for once and for all be acknowledged as a way of our past, and not one to retread or revisit ever again.

I hope that this which I endure will serve as the lesson, the one they get, the one that shows them the unfiltered truth that we are really all in this together and to prosecute one another for the sake of ego and abdication of personal responsibility no longer serves the purposes of sustaining our community, our lives, our nation, our families, our future.

Next stop in our journey of justice and the renaissance of America: June 15, 2009. Las Vegas, Clark County, Nevada.

Its not over yet, and anything can happen, but score one for the light, and we work to stoke the fire to bring even more light to bear on that which needs to be illuminated.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

abbreviating life

in the moment that is
at the most can be
an abbreviation.

missing letters
choosing sounds
listening carefully but
nothing gets it all down.

savin' it for the next life
or dismissed from those
lived too many times,
that which we know
is never complete.

punctuation assures
that there's more than you see
in the same black dot
from those pupils you blink.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'