Gotta Have Faith - George Michael


what is faith?

how do you have it in times of uncertainty, when there's nothing to ratify your belief in what you believe?

i'm sitting in my attorneys' office.  about an hour ago, i put the next 25 years of my life into the hands of 12 strangers.

now i wait.

tomorrow we will find me NOT GUILTY!

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

There comes a point when a flower must seed in order to perpetuate the cycle of life. Knowing death is the next step to take, it is time the flower realizes its time to create a seed in order to become again ... sharing with the future a bit of the essence of what it is today.

That is the stage of this flower of life . . . the pod to be released is contained in its present beauty. The pod is still an integrated part of the flower to draw the energy and accumulate the experiences the flower and the seed wants to bring into the next evolution of creation's energy. It is now the collective work of the flower and the seed to create new life, to define it, to imagine it, to vision it.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Happy New Year! Today 25 July is celebrated around the world as the "Day Out Of Time" and the transition from one year to the next based on the 13 Moon Calendar which is being offered as a new alternative to our current calendar time structure in the global movement for calendar reform.

The Mayan Calendar is based on a 13 moon calendar . . . today, we have an opportunity to shift our consciousness as we move to a time sequence and structure that is based on peace and harmony of humanity rather than the destructive nature of our Gregorian calendar.

Today is the day when we release the past year and the sequence of time it created, and float free with the cosmos, to attach to the new year's structure in alignment with the true timing of our earth in its position as it wobbles and orbits uniquely along its path.

Take a minute and be one with the cosmos without time so you can see how you are part of a destiny larger than you can envision when you eclipse the 4th dimension for a moment and create a new time sequence that is in alignment with a higher vibration.

As we move into the year of the Yellow Self-Existing Seed, I encourage you to read the following and feel where it resonates with you!

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Yellow Seed is your Conscious Self - who you are and who you are becoming.

Yellow Seed is the ordered pattern of growth. You and your life are the fertile soil, and the mystery blooms within you through the power of your intention or seed thoughts. Just as a seed contains the hologram of its completion, the process of manifestation follows a natural order. In this gestation process, your intention is quickened by Spirit. The charged seed, your true desire or vision, becomes the focus for germination.

What can you open that will support receptivity and assist the germination of your seed intentions? Envision the seed receiving the invitation to grow in the openness of your world. Viscerally feel the possibility of your heart's dream emerging. Your true desires and dreams contain an innate intelligence that can break through even the rigidity of fixed expectations. Planting a new seed, even in the hard soil of old belief systems, can bring unexpected magic and growth.

Read the rest at http://www.astrodreamadvisor.com/M_yellow_se_seed.html

PREFACE: Not quite sure where this blog came from . . . it wasn't what I was intending to write when I clicked on the "Post New Blog" button, as I was in the mind space of a completely different planet. So, as blog entries sometimes do, this one took on a life of its own, and I just let it go.


"No one likes a critic."

Yet, truth be told, everyone wants one, needs one and uses them.

Finding yourself in the seat of critical observance is not a comfortable one . . . unless, of course, being critical is your nature. Then that seat fits you like a glove.

Natural critics are the ones at the job that finds all the mistakes and ways things can be done that much more efficiently or cost-effectively or just that much more perfectly.

Those who claim their dislike of critics are the ones who fears change more than they fear success. Bear in mind, I'm not talking about the person who uses their critical nature to hurt people, those are just mean people, but in truth, most critics are rarely share their opinions to hurt others.

Most of us have parents who gave their opinions or criticisms, did so out of love -- based on their experience, desire for their child to have more, their drive to improve their child's life. They may be completely messed up in their expression, but their intention is usually not the problem.

And, I encourage you to think, after all the emotions have waned, what did the critic actually say? And, even if the person was being critical to be mean, can you disconnect enough to hear the blessings of their acute observations in the midst of their own selfish issues?

You choose to give away your power when you play the game of the messenger rather than using the messenger for your own purposes. Leave them to be who they are in their own game, and play your's with the help of their information -- for what it is worth, no more and no less.

As for your personal critic that lies between your ears . . . remind yourself, that the criticism is enveloped in as much self love as you care to possess.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Did U Know: There are no rules in life.

If you can know the 'seed' of conception, the source of the fruit, the full intention of the truth, you may be one step closer to understanding the answer to "why?"

In business, there is the time the idea is born and then the time the idea is 'incorporated' and the interaction between those two energies is knowledge that one must understand to be successful.

Similarly, running a transit chart for your birth's conception gives a "snap shot" of what was being planted into the natal chart. If you are one of those moms who know when you conceived, this is the kind of information that astrologers can use, so keep that information in the baby book!

On personal levels, take a look at the psychology of the relationship between the seed and the birth. Was the fruit born out of the seed of love, commitment, dreams, hope, faith, conflict, power struggles, insecurity, desperation, guilt . . . you name it.

A good dose of all of it was sown into you in order to transform and elevate the family's survival and evolution on all levels. While you are an individual, you are still human and humans have that intense and basic need to survive, your family thread can sometimes be cut, but its still the same thread.

Success in this world requires an integrated being on all levels of existence. Leave one of the levels out, and well, there's this saying about "a couple of cards short of a full deck." In which case, you will find yourself working against the "deadly sins" rather than rowing gently down the stream in the dream that is your life.

Flipping out of the matrix contraption requires a new navigation system. The poles have shifted -- or rather, will shift whenever you are ready for them to do so -- and before you know where you are going in this reality you want to create, you have to understand and know where your "center of gravity" is. [Ref. Ouspensky's "The Fourth Way."]

In astrology, its the cardinal compass points of the zodiac. And, just using basic astrology, the midheaven can really stand for your external achievements, career, standing in society, etc. The nadir or opposite of that, would be your internal grounding and the depths of your roots. "The deeper the roots, the taller the tree."

Looking at the Ascendant and Descendant axis, the questions comes to balance of "me" and "the other." "Do unto others as you would have them do to you," and "be the change you wish to see," and "you reap what you sow," all those realizations can instantly change your perception on any number of levels at any moment in time.

The balance between "you" and "the other" . . . moving into this Aquarian age, this becomes a major point of transition.


We are coming from Pisces culture programming, and the end of it at that, so there is the best of teachings and the worst of its teachings, and that's why our choices are OUR choices and not our parents, etc., and our choices need to be clear and aligned with our highest good for our survival and that of our children.

Finding that balance and the imbalance of your "programming" is the goal of viewing the "conception" transits, and applying that information to the shifts in your "zodiac compass."

If you make the decision to "be" in the reality you want to create, you have to know how to navigate and read your compass.

peace & harmony,
elaine '
freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

hmmmm . . . i don't even know how i feel.

i'm depressed.




i'm baffled.



i feel like i'm out on lake that has iced over. and its that slippery sort of ice, not the dry kind when you can actually get a decent footing . . . every time you shift, you fall or nearly fall from the new balance on this slick surface that demands every muscle of your body to maintain an upright position.

And there is no edge to try to "move to" to get off of it -- it is boundary-less. And, there's no telling whether the ice is thick and if you move, is it thick enough to hold you there?

And, even though you are with people, their hand extended in help, and your's to them, its useless because you are all there in the same situation and, to be honest, its better to balance on your own than with anyone else because their zig is your zag and it is just not supportive of any one's individual movement. save, for the moral support ... and that moral support is important in times like the one's we live in now.


every now and then, on the ice, someone tries to move, and they start falling and reach for anything to help them maintain their balance.

their attempt at movement comes with a swirl of motion to retain, regain or establish their balance in their new environment . . . and even though the movement may have been just a baby step to the left or right, today, every movement seems like a whole new reality that requires redefinition of everything the last moment was.

and, if you are standing close to one who's moving, and hopefully you are because you can watch, learn and be inspired to unfreeze your being, you do risk being hit with their flailing limbs, words, emotions, etc.

so, i guess, the lessons of the day are . . .



the game of the universe is one called chaos . . . when your reality bearings get thrown off, breathe in the new reality to reestablish your wherewithal.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

6 days, maybe . . . or 4 months from now?

one week.
next monday it will all begin . . . or rather, the final act shall begin.
the penultimate act. perhaps, of this phase of my life.

to begin anew at a different level, the story i am to play.
what is my next role?
there are so many things about this role I play here in vegas that i love, that give me a thrill, that make it so wonderful . . .

i wonder if this is how actors feel when the shooting of a movie is almost complete and the character that they have been so intimate with for several months is about to be no more . . . what i am experiencing right now is how i imagine that feeling would be if i had chosen in this path to be an actor.

but, then too, there are so many things about this role, I will never have to experience it again. i'm just done with that experience and will never again to do many of the things i did in this role. i just don't have to any more, i "got it" and can now move on into the unknown of the future!

my daughter has learned how cruel this world can be, she already knows the truth of the darkness this world has to offer. her knowledge will prepare her for her future, knowing she can do anything, and really has nothing to fear because she has seen her largest fears and she has survived.

now, she is learning how to take that darkness and transform it into a deeper love, a broader view of tolerance, love and acceptance. i do this along with her.

so, we live, laugh and love a bit more today than yesterday. most of the same remains, but somehow, its a little bit lighter to carry today, and we keep on keepin' on.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Have you started playing the role of your life? Not "the role" of your life, but going for it and being you -- creating the role you are here to be so that our collective experience, our collective cosmic story is fully realized at its highest level?

Are you really standing up and honoring in the best way you know how your truth?

Are you the roller on the table? Or are you the one telling the roller what to do because you cannot yet be the one who controls the table? Or are you the one telling the roller what to do because that is your role to play, they are listening well, and together you are making magic in the creation of that table of success and abundance and love?

Last night I was pleasured by TCM's presentation of one of my all time favorite movies, "Funny Girl." It was my first "favorite movie" as a child and to this day, even 30 years later still tops my very short list of "favorite movies." Not being a fan of musicals in general , I always find this movie on my list to be an odd one.

That movie and the conflict between Fanny & Nick too closely mirrored the conflict in relationship in reality, I had to get up and walk out on the movie not once but several times just to catch my breath.

The truth that you cannot give to someone what they do not have for themselves, cannot find for themselves, cannot gift to themselves and their destructive actions to both themselves and to the relationship because of it, just hurt too much.

I fell asleep on the end of the movie, as I suspected I would when I decided to begin watching it at 11 p.m., and perhaps I did so deliberately because I never liked the end of the movie. The reconciliation that must take place within the innocent, naive and 'what you see is what you get' in me therefore 'I accept what I see is what I get' in you is too personal for me, as I am naive in that way. The truth that most people do not have that perspective and cannot accept themselves, and consequently cannot think that others will accept them just as they are, is often something I overlook when dealing with others.

I often do not understand the inner conflict of worth that pushes toward self-destructive behavior because people feel that their worth is being more degraded because others offer a way to help to end that spiral of self-torture, or offer an alternative to that inner conflict. And, how can anyone understand that path they are on? So they flash out at intimacy they know is their lifeline, and those left holding the other end feel useless holding the rope of a life preserver that floats on the water while they swim further out to sea for their own reasons having nothing to do with the one left standing on solid ground in their own truth.

The need to and the innocence of self-identity and walking the path of the inner me in the outside world is the lesson that film always brings home in me. Both characters do that, just one in an acceptance of self and crafting the life, the other in an attempt to craft a life to find self-acceptance.

Still one of my favorite films.

"Don't rain on my parade" . . . because life is a parade, decorate, dance, and share with the world what your inner being is here to share!

Me ... I play roulette, but craps is my 2nd favorite game!

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

8 Days . . . Full Moon in Scorpio/Sagittarius . . . manifest your inner truth.

If one is just going through the motions of being, the truth never really manifests.

You cannot do it for anyone else, no matter how close in relationship you are, how intimate you are, how connected you are, it simply doesn't work if you do not do it for yourself.

Sure, you can blame the other person for being "x" and use that as your justification for what you do . . . but when it comes down to it, and you remove the personal perspective and look at the empirical evidence, what actually transpired? What were your actions? What were your justifications?

Reading the transcript from the trial of my friend, is hard. I'll read a bit and have to get up and walk away for a minute or an hour. The picture they so want to paint of the reality that they want to exist is so ugly, and that ugliness comes into our home, into our lives, our beings and we have to live with and through it.

The darkness seeps into our relationships, it seeps into our family, it creates chaos when there is none . . . but that's our blessing, really. Its not a pretty blessing because when the darkness breeches our dikes . . . those we so diligently maintain to preserve our existence in the light . . . the impact is devastating and damaging. And, the damage can't be undone, only learned from to do what we most want to not do, build higher walls to protect against the darkness.

I resist that urge because so many teachings say that's not the real solution. Or maybe it is. I have learned in my life, that maybe that is the solution. That my vulnerability to the destructive wave that darkness brings to my being can never be overcome, that the walls need to be more fortified -- perhaps its just for a time and there will be one where I can live immersed in the wholeness of it all and have balance of existence where there is no suffering and pain. I don't know that place yet, except for when I create it with boundaries, barriers and walls of protection.

Can the lowlands in the Netherlands ever co-exist with the North Sea without the dikes? And, as global warming increases the levels of the sea, can the 'lowlands' be protected without higher walls or some type of barrier from that rising sea. And as the storms come with the rising waters, one storm after another will cause the impact that leads to the solution of protection at a higher level of sustainability.

So too with energy and your various levels of existence. As you call more and more energy to you, and the more you ground the energy in your being, yes, you can sustain increased levels of darkness. And, only when you spend time in the torture chamber of overwhelming darkness, can you know what you can handle ... and that this is the level of darkness that lurks just beneath our consciousness.

And, it is in that torture chamber you are prepared for the new level of energy. Dark and light come together to become the power that grows in your life for your transformation, transmutation and eventual control and use.

It is through our greatest struggles that come our greatest strengths, and when you realize that journey is one that only exists in your own mind, you realize that sometimes the struggle with the darkness isn't your's, its their's. You just happen to be experiencing it with them.

'that which doesn't kill you will only make you stronger.'

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

9 days . . . this has been the roughest one yet.