The Baby Phat Incident
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Well men we have all been here before. We tried to do something in our mind we thought was based on good intentions. We thought we was doing something good, we thought we would be celebrated as "The Man".., We would get a hero's welcome, a ticker tape parade only to realize we opened up a can of whoop (Blank)….We have upset our spouse, our significant other by our supposed well intended deeds (in my case attempting to buy my wife some Baby Phat jeans that she wanted). Now I am a veteran but how do I respond to my wife's dismay at my attempt to fulfill what I thought was a request? I responded like a Rookie…I actually tried to make sense out of the situation, apply some male logic to my efforts , Trying to justify and self vindicate. I could not get pass being labeled as inconsiderate for trying to buy something. I tried to rationalize why we were having an argument about me buying something FOR THE WIFE??? I continued to put my foot in my mouth as the minutes rolled by into an hour (sounding probably condescending and stoooopid). I started to hear boooos , squirrels started throwing nuts at the house, birds pooped on my car; God was trying to get my attention for being an idiot. Like he did the Prophet Balaam with the ass except I in this case I was the ASS.
Even the Geico Cavemen knew I was making things to hard.
My real problem was not what I was trying to do, but I had done in the past. I had someway not listened well enough. This is a time I should have stopped to try and understand by just shutting the hell up, even if I don't understand. It was not about getting something, or proving a point, but hearing a woman's side to a story in most cases to complicated for a man to understand the first time. Like any good book you got to ponder over each chapter to get the author's full meaning. What was I suppose to get out of this? Whatever message my wife was trying to communicate?
Maybe if I can pass the shut up test long enough I can find out the real reason why I got this reaction. Even if there is no explanation I have got to be able to deal with that. Everything cannot be black and white or 1+1 = 2. Or done in 5 minutes. It's complicated. In any event I shut my woman down when I don't have the patience to go on these journeys. It is amazing we men have no problem getting lost in the car for hours but we can't live with being out of the loop 5 minutes with our spouse in communication.
Now that is some "Treal Talk" (True+Real),
-Coleon