1. Schizophrenia-- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder-- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia-- I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

4. Narcissistic-- Hark the Harold Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic-- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees.

6. Paranoid-- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder-- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder-- You better watch out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder--  Silent night, Holy, oooh look at the Froggy- can I have a Chocolate, why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder-- Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!...Jingle Bells!

O Death

by. Raplh Stanley

O, Death
O, Death
Won't you spare me over til another year
Well what is this that I can't see
With ice cold hands takin' hold of me
Well I am death, none can excel
I'll open the door to heaven or hell
Whoa, death someone would pray
Could you wait to call me another day
The children prayed, the preacher preached
Time and mercy is out of your reach
I'll fix your feet til you cant walk
I'll lock your jaw til you cant talk
I'll close your eyes so you can't see
This very hour, come and go with me
Death I come to take the soul
Leave the body and leave it cold
To drop the flesh off of the frame
The earth and worm both have a claim
O, Death
O, Death
Won't you spare me over til another year
My mother came to my bed
Placed a cold towel upon my head
My head is warm my feet are cold
Death is a-movin upon my soul
Oh, death how you're treatin' me
You've close my eyes so I can't see
Well you're hurtin' my body
You make me cold
You run my life right outta my soul
Oh death please consider my age
Please don't take me at this stage
My wealth is all at your command
If you will move your icy hand
Oh the young, the rich or poor
All are like me you know
No wealth, no land, no silver no gold
Nothing satisfies me but your soul
O, death
O, death
Wont you spare me over til another year
Wont you spare me over til another year
Wont you spare me over til another year

                My next call, I thought, would be most important. I dial the police and tell them what I told her. I tell them to evacuate the school building tomorrow morning and to let no one inside. The officer on the other end of the line assures me that it will be taken care of and thanks me for my concern before hanging up. Some how I didn't find her words too assuring.

                I didn't sleep at all that night because I didn't want to have another horrible dream. That morning I drove over to her school and saw that they had still let people in and out of the building. Obviously they didn't take me seriously. They had the school police officer and one other cop patrolling the school but that wouldn't be of any help if the event actually happened.

My watch reads eleven thirty- five as I walk through the doors of the school. A lot of help the security is. If I can just walk in so can anyone else.  I find her at her locker and tap her on her shoulder. Victoria I say softly in her ear before she turns around. As our eyes meet I find my self looking at a goddess.  She stands all of five feet seven inches tall and weighs perhaps 120 pounds. She has long blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes. I feel my heart skip a beat as she opens her mouth to speak. She asks me what I am doing here and I tell her there is no time to explain. I look down at my watch and it reads Twelve 'O Clock.  The chaos is about to unfold.  

                Gun fire rang out through the school. The screams of the children echoed through the halls as the floors were painted red with the blood of the innocent. I see her face twist with pain as her body turns cold. She lies in a silhouette of blood and tears. As the violence continues my eyes remain fixated on her cold lifeless body. Suddenly I hear shouting behind me. As I turn to look I feel the scorching hot steel of a bullet pierce my body and settle in my lung. All goes black and I too grow cold.

                Suddenly I awake from this nightmare and look to the clock on the wall. It's half past one. I hope she's still awake. I reach for the phone and call her. As the phone rings my patience wears ever more thinly. Finally she answers and I tell her my dream. I tell her that at Twelve 'O Clock tomorrow something terrible will happen. I tell her that three men, each armed with two sub- machine guns and four hand guns will highjack the school and hold everyone inside hostage. They will have enough ammunition to kill everyone and that is exactly what they will do. I beg and plead with her not to go tomorrow. I tell her that I will come and get her and we will spend the day together, but she refuses. She asks if I have gone mad and assures me nothing like that would possibly happen. She tells me she loves me and hangs up the phone.

If i had to chose three of the most important (influential) people in the world, i would have to say, Hitler, Tom (from Myspace), and my Parents. All of these people have dramatically influenced the world in a special way. either for good or for bad each of these people have given more to society as a whole than any one else has. Lets start with the most important to me. My parents.

With out my parents i would not exist. I wouldn't know the joy of living. The ability to give life is an amazing gift and with out that gift no one would be able to do anything because none of us would be here. My parents have taught me so much that with out there teachings i wouldn't be able to function. They taught me how to speak, how to tie my shoes... everything. All the basics of human life and i think that counts for something. Ok, it count for a whole lot of something.

Next would be Hitler. Although he did some pretty messed up stuff his motives were noble In his mind he was trying to help his country and rebuild the greatness that Germany once had. Also with out the cruel experiments the Nazis performed we wouldn't have many of the scientific breakthroughs(like the great improvement on curing aids and things like that) we have today. Also with out them we wouldn't even have a space program. So Hitler has done some messed up stuff yes, but with out him we wouldn't have some of the great advances we do today.

And finally, love him or hate him, Tom. The creator of Myspace has given people all across the world a chance to interact with other people whom, with out myspace they would never have known about. Yes it's been misused and yes sometimes it can get frustrating but it has also become the most popular web page since google. Honestly if Tom charged money for myspace it may not be as popular but i think it would still be a frequently visited page. And as for the banners and advertisements. This guy has made a fortune and spent almost no money. If that's not the American dream than i don't know what is.

So there. These are my choices. Whether or not you agree with them is o you but i believe that without these people society in as a whole wouldn't be what it is today. And as for the future, who knows who the top three most influential people of tomorrow might be. But i can promise you this. It's will be interesting to say the least. You can count on that!

1. Ladies and gentlemen, hoboes and tramps,
2. Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bow-legged ants,
3. I come before you to stand behind you,
4. To tell you something I know nothing about.
5. Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
6. There will be a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
7. Admission is free, so pay at the door,
8. Pull up a seat and sit on the floor.
9. The topic to discuss...
10. The crime that has never been committed.

1. One fine day in the middle of the night,
   
2. Two dead boys* got up to fight, [*or men]
   
3. Back to back they faced each other,
   
4. Drew their swords and shot each other,
   

5. One was blind and the other couldn't, see
   
6. So they chose a dummy for a referee.
   
7. A blind man went to see fair play,
   
8. A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"
   

9. A paralysed donkey passing by,
   
10. Kicked the blind man in the eye,
    
11. Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
    
12. Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
    

13. A deaf policeman heard the noise,
    
14. And came to arrest the two dead boys,
    
15. If you don't believe this story's true,
    
16. Ask the blind man he saw it too!

pleasure turns to the pain
lessons learned from the strain
questions burned in my brain..
about whether love is humane
in its touch.
these thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream
in the tears of your deceit.
fighting the current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos
of our intertwined emotions.
chaotic because the anchor of Erros' arrow has been plucked
from the vessel of my undying infatuation.
separation not as simple as the distance between us
my mind no longer possessed by demons
that have been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies.
the seeds of these lies rooted so deeply
they have cracked the foundation of what we once shared
allowing the faith in us i had sealed inside
to gush out like a river
ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts
as violently and as brutally as if it were a child
being taken from its mothers arms.
im left surrounded in darkness
but i refuse to be swallowed by it
my loneliness like the night air
invisible to the eye
obvious to the touch
it is cold uncomfortableness
yet if i could do it all over again
id do it in the same skin im in.
to lay down and let love die
just stay down and let love lie?
no, no..not i
id stay around and let love fly
even though i have seen its darkest form
deceit
nothing else could feel this warm
nothing else could taste this sweet.

Valerie & the Stairs

I had a brief encounter with love... but that once warm genital touch, who's hand it came form, turned out to be a claw. The love I had for this woman was more than a love. Her eyes glistened like the finest diamonds. Her hair was long and flowing and glowed with an amber gold tint when the sun shined on her ever so slightly. She had the voice of an angel and a body built for love. The best part about this woman is that her heart loved only one. And I loved her . And still do to this day. As I sit alone in my room surrounded by the darkness my mind starts to fill with images and memories of long forgotten times when we would laugh and smile together. Time when we would make love. But those blissful times are abruptly interrupted by different memories. Thoughts of raised voices and flying furniture fill my head now. The screams. The god forsaken screams.

I wake up in a cold sweat and throw the covers off of me. I get up and hurry to the bathroom. I don't make it. I feel my self becoming sick and vomit in the sink. I've been having these dreams for two years. Ever sense... the accident these dreams, these nightmares, have haunted me day and night. I can't tell whats real or in my head any more. Every night the dreams get more and more vivid. I swear I can hear her screams everywhere. "Why did you do this to me!". I'm sorry baby. I am so sorry!

My alarm clock rings and I realize I'm late for work. I rush to the car only to get stuck in traffic for an hour. I glance around form car to car and no matter what car I look into, or who I'm looking at I see her face. She haunts me. She haunts me even when I'm awake. I drag through my day and get home only to obsess over my dearest Valerie once again. I stair at picture after picture and read letters from her over and over again. I can't get her out of my mind. I can't get what happened out of my mind.

It all started twelve years ago. We had meet through a mutual friend and it was love at first sight. Well, at least for me it was. We talked for a while and i had finally convinced her to take time away from her busy schedule to have dinner with me. We ate, we talked, we had fun together. We dated for about a month and then she moved in with me. She never once told me she loved me until that night. We came in from the moves, and it was raining outside. We were both completely soaked so we ran upstairs to change clothes but she slipped and started to fall. I caught her in my arms and we began to kiss. The fire in her lips was electrifying. The lust in her eyes drove my senses wild. We made love on those very stairs and then she said it. " I love you."

After that we were inseparable. People told us we were joined at the hip. What people didn't know is that we would fight constantly. Never in front of anyone but when ever we were alone, she would say something or I would say something just to get under the others skin. The fights never really turned violent until much later. Voices were raised, things were thrown and broken but I never stuck her. They would usually last a day or too but the make up sex was amazing. Sometimes I would swear that we would pick a fight just so that we could make up later. But as years went by the fights scalded and the making up part decreased to a simple I'm sorry.

January 23^rd. It would be out Thirteenth anniversary this year but now it's just another day in the year. After work I went down town to a bar I occasionally visit. Whenever the memories get to be too much and i just want to forget everything. I sit at a corner booth with a glass of bourbon and a pack of Camels. I never really smoked until the day she died. She hated the smell and what it does to the human body, but it wasn't like she was there to nag me about it. My mind starts to drift to that night.

When the police arrived at the house, they came in to find my wife laying on the floor, cold and lifeless at my feet. The phone still in my hand from when i had called them. I told them she had fallen down the stairs and no further questions were asked. They said I had been through enough today and that i needed to get away from this house for a little while. One of the officers had suspected foul play but then again, they all do. They later brought me in for questioning but they had nothing to convict me, or even to hold me over night. They apologized for detaining me and told some crap about how they were just going by the book. I told them that it was no problem and that they were just doing they're jobs, and then I just walked away.

I sit here now in the desolate quiet of the house as I stair into the hallway and onto the stairs. As time passes my mind begins to drift. I can see Valerie standing in front of me smiling that perfect smile that could brighten up the darkest reaches of space. She stands there with her arms out as i rise to meet her. I embrace her and feel her warmth. I could swear I felt her heart beating as I held her close to me. "Valerie. Oh my Valerie. I miss you. I am so sorry." Suddenly I open my eyes and she vanishes.

I go to sleep that night only to be awoken by her voice. "Come with me", she calls in the same seductive voice that i remember. I get out of bed and follow her to the hallway. She is leading me toward the stairs. I stop just at the top of them and i see Valerie and myself arguing at the bottom of them. Only it's not really us. It was like i was watching a movie of us on a projector. I can't really make out what we are yelling about but another girls name is said and then more yelling.

She turns and starts to head up the stairs but i see myself run past her and block her from leaving the confrontation. We begin to argue more. But now i have become rougher. I grab her wrists as she trys to push me out of the way. There's commotion for a moment and then nothing. I've never heard such a silence before in my life. I run down the stairs to find my sweet Valerie's mangled body lying dead on the floor. I dropped to my knees and began to cry. I looked up the stairs at myself. I appeared to be smiling. Then I knew. I had pushed her. I had killed my dear sweet Valerie.

Suddenly I'm awoken by the sound of my phone ringing and I'm laying in my bed alone. It appears to be late morning, early afternoon. I answer the phone and the voice on the other end of the line says, "Hey. I've been trying to reach you all morning. I set you up on a date with a good friend of mine. I've told her a little about you and I think you're gonna love her. Her name's Valerie."