Perhaps it is better to be alone
for love is the true killer in the end...

Another friendless day in shitville and I seem to piss everyone off I meet. I don't understand it and now even My Amanda is hating me. I guess as I said before the  shadows is where I belong. But then what about my Temple? That is my whole purpose for being here and I am not giving that up; its the only reason I am still here. Well I have no friends and this is the only way to get my emotions out so I don't go psycho so please forgive me...

I still dont have electric and internet though I paid for electric yesterday so should have it on soon. My email again is theuvup@templeuvup.com and phone 740-816-7159 NO TEXT MESSAGES PLEASE. I can not receive them and I am on Verizon so after 9pm if not on verizon also

I think most people are lucky; They have a best friend or even friends in general. I don't even know what thats like; I think I used to have a friend but they never last so I never can remember it much. I know Im missing something though and I sure would like to know what its like is all but no one wants to include me in on anything so I will just be the outkast I guess. At least I have someone to be an outkast with me but I still want friends but I guess its true. I really am not a people person but maybe I wish I could be at least the right kind of other people person...

Well it seems again I am an outcast even in my own Temple. Its pretty bad when everyone is ganging up on me and not even listening to my side of the story. I am not going into details and not naming names to try and keep this place drama free but it that even possible in today's world? It seems as though my only close friend doesn't even trust me after we have been friends forever and have done a lot for this place and don't get thanked much and you would think certain people would treat there elders with more respect when they where the ones who get them out of the salvation army earlier helped them into the place they now reside and I am having to leave. Not too mention I have never lied about anything though people seem to like to think otherwise when they were NOT even here to see the events take place. It's ok Im used to it...

I went to IGUN for the first time last night and it has been a long time since I have had that good a night out! It reminded me of the original Outland (with out all the smoke, LOL) minus a few songs and it was an amazing night! from I got there at 12am unfortunately but the set was awesome and even though the trip was full of driving into the ditch, LOL, (damn snow) the night was something I had been missing in quiet some time and the feeding was delicious indeed both during and after the bar closed. After wards I actually went to Big Boy cause I guess that's wear they all go after the club and even though I wasn't impressed with the mental food the spiritual food made up for it...

My space wont let me update my profile but I am looking for Various kinds of donors and am in an open relationship. Please Contact me at:  ........

theuvup@templeuvup.org 

MY YIM:

I can no longer consider myself Goth; I Just love the music and that is IT! Now a days it seems the goth culture is truly dead and the left over so called goths are much of negative hateful assholes. I am just a Dark Vampyre and THAT IS IT. I refuse to consider myself anything else. That's the one thing they had right on that south park episode; that the goths today seem to have negative hateful energy so I don't feel so bad feeding on them because I cant deal with the music in the regular clubs. Maybe I should feed from the "ravers" then? I am so lost right now...

Rev. JP ChrstVampyre

Damn it I Lost my phone (contacts) AGAIN! If I had your number I may need it again so please message me here or better yet: theuvup@templeuvup.org  Though I now have a better one soon... 

I cant take it anymore and If she would let me die I would. I think someone up there hates me and this is nothing but there joke; nothing else seems to make sense. I want to give up, but I cant. I am not supposed to be this damn emotional; it isnt what I am...

I wish I could pretend to be something Im not; but I do have that ability. I wish I could make someone really love me but it seems no one can. Sometimes it seems Im losing in this game of life as I lose in every game I play but I never wanted to play this...

I just want to be at peace at not be so ever restless. Im tired of taking on the world and all these responsibilities! Here I stand forever restless and wanting for it to be so. Then again what else is there for me? It seems to be all I really know...