This year we're brining the turkey.  It's in a bucket filled with ice water, sitting in the snow on the balcony.  We covered the bucket with a big plastic lid and held the lid down with large stones.  It's a little makeshift but easier than cleaning out the fridge to make room for a 5 gallon bucket.

I'm baking orange rolls and bacon for breakfast.  This is my first attempt at cooking bacon in the oven.  I'll let you know if it's as fabulous as frying it up on the stove top.  Hmm... I wonder if I should take some out early cause Face likes limp bacon and I like bacon with a crunch.

We still don't have a car and the mechanic said he doesn't know if he'll be working on Friday, but I'm thankful for the hope of getting Blue Betty back someday.

My mom said my brother can't come over to share thanksgiving because they're caring for Bubbie who is old and sick.  The last time my brother came over and didn't take the dog home, the dog pitched a fit.  He messed in the house.  So my brother is not allowed to come over unless he can take the dog home with him.  So I asked when that was going to happen.  My parents think Bubbie is not long for this Earth.  He needs constant care.  I feel so bad.  Bubbie was my dog.  I brought him home.  Now my parents and John are caring for him and paying the vet bills.  But I'm thankful that Bubbie has led a wonderful life and that my brother and parents have cared so well for him.

We have a big day of food and fun planned.  I'm making onion rings from scratch, potato skins, mozzarella sticks, biscuits, corn bread muffins, Turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, real macaroni and cheese, pumpkin pie and apple pie.

We got a Thanksgiving card yesterday that was delivered without a stamp on it!  I should be thankful for that.

I got to chat with my friend, Dawn's little sister.  I am super-thankful for that.  I even got an email from her second younger sister who was just a baby the last time I saw her (25 years ago) and she said she doesn't remember me but she'd like to keep in touch. 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Don't eat too much and drive safely.  I love you.

I think myspace and facebook are amazing for reconnecting and keeping in contact with people.  I've spent the last few weeks finding friend friends from Hawaii and Germany.  Today I started searching for friends from kindergarten when I lived in Valrico, Fl.  I found my best friend has passed away.  She was in a car accident in 2006.  I haven't talked to her since we were 6.  In the mean time she got married, had three kids, and became a pre-k teacher.

I wish I had looked for her when we were living in Rockledge.  It makes me realize how fleeting time is and how important it is to tell people how much I love them and miss them, be fore it's too late.  And not just because one day it might be too late but because they deserve it hear it as soon as possible!

Dawn Wade; wife, mother, sister, aunt, teacher, friend.

This is my third winter here but it still feels new.  I have been carless for over a week.  I just called the mechanic and they don't have my part in yet.  Who knows how much longer I'll be riding the bus.  I offered to make Thanksgiving dinner this year for my Juneau family but I don't want to carry a turkey home on the bus.  I'm not actually worried.  I'm sure Rebecca or Barb will offer to drive me.

I still have to trade the tires on my car for snow tires, which I've never done before.  It shouldn't be a big deal.  I'll just put the snow tires into my trunk, drive to the mechanic and have him trade them out.  But how long will that take?  The mechanics in town all seem pretty busy (I was calling around when my car first broke down.) 

What's worse is that Spud hates the snow.  He doesn't want to be anywhere near it!  Little loves it and Spud hates it.  Isn't he the Alaskan?  Plus he's so cute and immobile in his snow suit.


 



I have to shovel the balcony, which shouldn't be too hard.  Little loves the snow and she'll help me shovel.  I shoveled half of the driveway and then it snowed again and I just feel a little behind the eight ball.  The laundry is piling up and there are Christmas ornaments that need to be made.  Face already purchased, wrapped and tormented me with gifts.  there's one from him, one from each child and even one from Santa.  I haven't bought anyone anything.

So I've been learning contemplative prayer.  It's a meditative prayer.  The idea is to close your eyes and let go of your thoughts.  Be open to God's presence and action within.  We use a sacred word to as a symbol of our consent to God's presence.  We use the sacred word to clear our minds.  We must let go of every thought.  Even spiritual ones.  If God wants to communicate with words, He can do so the other 23 hours of the day.  So I was praying today and suddenly felt like crying.  Then I instantly let go of the feeling.  Then I started writing this blog in my head, then I let it go.

I find myself concentrating too hard sometimes.  I feel like I have to force the thoughts away when, in fact, you should use the sacred word like a feather gently settling onto cotton. 

The idea is to communicate with God in a language beyond words.

Next week is the Catholic new year.  It is the first week of Advent.  Fr.Tom challenged us to make 2 resolutions.  Two ways we can be better Christians.  He suggested praying and readin scripture more.  I think I should resolve to practice contemplative prayer more consistantly.  I want to be a better example, less judgemental, more loving, more patient.  But it's hard. 

On a psuedo side note, I read an aritcle about atheist groups cropping up on college campuses.  How they have discussions, create a sense of community, and answer questions for curious coeds.  The article said one group participated in a pro-choice protest.  I would like to think if I were atheist I would still be prolife.  Maybe even more so.  If this is all there is we must treat each other as well as possible.  

Happy Sunday people.  I don't claim to have it all figured out, I just blog about it. 

I love the Darius Rucker c.d. (he's the former lead singer of Hooty and the Blowfish -now a country singer).  He sings "It won't be like this for long."  About the bittersweet experiences of a parent watching their children grow up.  Precisely watching a daughter grow up.  And you know I love Loudon Wainwright III and his song, "Daughter".  Now I am on the quest to find or write a song about little boys growing up.  I find it even more heartbreaking.  I believe I can always hug and cuddle my daughter but soon my son will cringe at the idea of a kiss from mom.  He no longer falls asleep in my arms (though maybe he will on the plane trip to Florida.)  It's nice that he sleeps in the crib but sometimes I miss holding him while he slumbers.

Have a fabulous Sunday people.  Appreciate your cars.  Mine is still in the shop.  Feel bad for me as I trudge uphill, in the snow, carrying groceries.  I didn't actually need any groceries but we stopped to get a bus pass and we had to get some soy yogurt, cookies, chips and juice that was on sale.)  My back aches but I'm glad we have a bus!  What would I do in Florida?

I haven't been doing my contemplative prayer every day, twice a day.  I admit it.  I know I could find the time if it were a priority.  There's no reason to say I'm too busy.  I find the time to watch TV for at least an hour a day.  So here I am at work, I think I'll go sit on the stage (out of view) and pray. 

Did I like the movie Twilight?  No, not really.

Did I read any of the Twilight books?  No, none.

If I could go see any movie today, which would it be?  apparently, New Moon.  First of all it's the one my friend wanted to see.  But more than that, several of my friends wanted to see it.  I wanted to be able to talk to them about it, since they were so excited.  Face said I'm a poser.  AH!

To be fair, I liked this movie more than the first one.  I'm a Jacob fan. 

Do I need to make a statement about not liking the first movie by never giving another in the series a chance?  No.  I'm not a poser.  I'm open minded.  I'm inquisitive.  I'll see any movie if it means I can eat buttered pop corn!

well, Spud lost a pound.  He's at 20.4 pounds.  He hasn't been consuming dairy and hasn't had many messy diapers but he refuses to eat.  Sometimes he won't taste the food and I have to force it into his mouth.  Once he realizes I'm not trying to poison him he'll eat the food.  But his tastes change every day.  One day he'll eat a hot dog, the next day, not one bite.  One day apple sauce, or a banana is okay, then he cringes at the very notion of eating such things.

I'm going to call the doctor today and ask about adding some kind of weight gaining/ protein supplement to Spud's beverages.

I even wrote to Dr.Phil and said I don't need to see any more shows on overweight toddlers.  It would be nice to see one other mom going through my plight.  Someone who understands the frustration of trying to feed someone who doesn't want to eat.  If it weren't for this BMI chart I wouldn't even know anything was wrong (that's not entirely true.)  He's active and happy and I'm going out of my mind.

ARG!

The worst part (well, I guess Spud's health is the worst part but the next worst part) is that after seeing what he weighs I get so frustrated that I immediately want to eat.  This is no good for me since I'm not in a position to "cheat".  Is it possible to lose 15 pounds before January?  No one will know what I look like until then.  I mean it is so wintery white outside that I am going to be bundled up in sweaters, scarves and snow suits till 2010.

Someone needed a ride to the movie Bella last night so I said sure!  We got in my car and I gun it to get over a patch of ice.  The car stalled and now it's dead in the parking lot.  We waited and tried it again and again.  Anyway, I ended up leaving it last night, dreaming about zombies, and Face tried it again this morning -still dead.

The repair guys around here say they cannot look at it today.  ARG!  I have to get Little to preschool early tomorrow morning.

So the guy I tried to help ended up giving me a lift home.  He was locked out of his car and we were going to meet someone who had a spare key.  Instead he called AAA and they unlocked it while my car stubbornly refused to go anywhere.  Why does my car always stall at the church?  Probably because there are people there who can help me.

Anyway, the tow guy is busy, the repair shops are busy, I'm pretty busy!  What a day.  What a sucky day.

I'm loving my new c.d. from Earthen Vessel but I have  very strange reaction to a certain song.  In song number three it says, "He's riding on a cloud, He's shining like the sun..."  I start choking up time and time again.  I feel so unworthy of this golden second coming.  One of my biggest wells of guilt comes from my lack of evangelizing.  I mean, people know I am a Christian and I'd like to think that's one way of evangelizing.  But I don't want to be pushy.  I don't want to be preachy.  But sometimes I wonder how many of my friends and family are saved and if they know how badly I want them to be in heaven, for their sake and mine.  How can it be heaven without all of my loved ones?  And how do I say, "Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?"

For those of you in Juneau there is a showing Bella tonight at the Juneau Christian Center.  It's free and the producer of this award winning film will be there to answer questions.  A donation will be collected for a right to life group.  If you haven't heard of the movie you can watch a preview here.


Also the Glory Hole is collecting coats (and scarves and gloves...) but I think it's a nice idea to check your closets for what might be more useful to someone else even if you do not live in Juneau.  You can donate old toys to Goodwill.  It teaches your children the spirit of giving and (let's face it) makes room for Christmas gifts.

You can leave coats at the cathedral parish office.  The Knights of Columbus will deliver them to the Glory Hole for you!

As a chick who tries to funny, I often stick my foot in my mouth.  I want to be able to make my friends laugh, not nervous that they're gonna get made fun of.  Look, yesterday I made of my friend's spelling and today I end a sentence with the preposition "of".  One time a friend of mine was helping me paint a room and I asked if she could reach higher than I could.  It turns out we're the same height.  I always thought she was taller.  So I said that I thought I was the smart one and she was the tall one, maybe we're on equal footing all around.  I think she was offended that I said I thought I was smarter than she was.  I didn't even think before speaking.  To be fair I was on pain medication at the time.  But what person in their right minds insults someone who is helping them?  Someone who is clearly of the same (and perhaps higher) intelligence?  My friends have to be very good at forgiving to hang out with me.



I also wish I was better at forgiving.  I dwell on the past.  I fight in my head.  I want to let it go.  I want to have an upbeat attitude but I cling to bitterness sometimes.  Sometimes I think I have forgiven someone and then poof! I'm angry again.  The worst part is I bet the people I hold a grudge against would readily forgive me for it. 


So thank you to everyone who has been the butt of one of my jokes (especially the unfunny ones) and thank you to those of you who have taught me to forgive, if only for my own sake.  Thank you, God, for forgiving us all.