Oh hey it's Friday, my lunch leaked in my bag, that kind of sucks, but oh well, I think I'll just grab the bus home and ARGH, FOILED BY APOCALYPSE.

Question: When googling yourself (from home, pathetically) how far down in the links is it before you find someone's facebook listing full of slutty pictures?

Answer: 5

Extrapolation: "ugh, cheap, tramp, ugh!"

Oy.  I love radio, really I do.  I do radio.  And I'm the first to admit, I don't do it professionally.  But I bow at the feet of those who devote time and energy to making it all 'quality.'  I mean, do one or the other.  Either screw it up joyously, or do a fantastic job, is what I think.

Regardless of what you think of the on-air product, somebody at CKNW has chosen to screw it up joyously online.



The quote marks alone make me squeal with delight.  Bless you, hilariously underpaid CKNW online news grunt, and your rapturous typos.

Macaulay Culkin and Brad Pitt: Very different actors with the same slight lisp.  I cannot hear one talk without thinking of the other  Oddly, when I was twelve, slight crush on Macaulay Culkin.  Brad on the other hand leaves me cold.  Perhaps lingering Macaulay shame has ruined the experience for me.

I LOVE Gwen Ifill.  She be amazin’.  Why doesn’t PBS just become the Gwen Ifill Channel (GIC)?  All Gwen all the time.  I crave her classy and intelligent insight.  She’s so very "if I could talk like that."

I used to do a similar thing on my bathroom mirror, until somebody used my bathroom and figured out I had a bad case of "teen angst".  That was humiliating.

Regardless, this is the nicest and most sympathetic thing I have seen all day:
http://noonebelongsheremorethanyou.com/

It is my ambition to open a store filled with improbably giant and tiny things.  I am always on the lookout for prospective inventory.

Imagine my delight.

New plan for ultimate wealth: buy some cows, milk them, churn my own butter.  Mold it into unusual and kicky shapes ('building block' is so tired).  Ooh, trapezoid butter.  Wrap it in something fun.  Also, new name.  Butter is incorporated into too many juvenile insults.  Too negative.  Thinking of going with "Xtreme Milk."  And for you, the consumer, so many options - you could melt it into a glass and drink it before bed, or possibly just unwrap from one end and chaw down when those middle afternoon hungries hit you.  Mmm.

New plan for ultimate poverty: become obsessed with Friday Night Lights.  This plan is now in effect, and is sure to get me fired.  Did you know they've had 18 glorious hour-long (riveting, film-quality, emotionally testing... shall I go on?) episodes already this season?  This is alot of television to try and digest.  Between this and daylight savings, my eyes have never been so baggy, my hair so listless, my motivation and productivity so totally absent.  On the plus side, this might mean Taylor Kitsch will be my friend, seeing as we are now twins.  He's (noticeably) Canadian too, so it's like I have a double-in.


Failing that, I'd happily settle for a little piece of the coach.  Feel free to yell numbers at me as much as you'd like coach.  I can take it.

...would not be complete without things like this.
I hope Mandy's still out there somewhere, with her freaky predilection for greasy wrestlers and Axl Rose circa 1990.