"WHY NOT DO ANOTHER TOUR?"
"OK LETS"
"WHO THE HELLS GOING TO HAVE US ON TOUR?"
"THE MAGIC NUMBERS"
"OH, OK THAT SOUNDS COOL"
"WHEN DO WE GO?"
"7.12 NEWCASTLE CLUNY
9.12 ORAN MOR GLASGOW
10.12 BONGO EDINBURGH
11.12 BRUDINELL SOCIAL LEEDS
13.12 NORTHAMPTON ROADMENDER
14.12 BODEGA SOCIAL NOTTINGHAM
15.12 FIBBERS YORK"
"CRUMBS THATS QUITE ALOT OF DATES"
"WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU LAZY OR JUST A SHITHEAD?"
"NO, ITS GREAT... I WAS JUST SUPRISED.. I DONT GET OUT SO MUCH THESE DAYS, THIS IS LIKE GOING TO THE PUB 10 DAYS IN A ROW"
"GROW UP"
"OK"

Dear all, after spending the year touring under the wings of such bands as Broken Family Band, The Leisure Society, Duke Special and The Dodos, it’s a great pleasure to announce our first Headline shows. Tickets are strictly limited to 20 per venue, or at least it will feel that way if no one shows up. Id like to take this opportunity to suggest looking into “group bookings” where you and likeminded friends squeeze into a shuttlebus departing from the town hall at 4pm, sink a couple of bottles of leffe en route, making the most of the 3*** catering along the way.. then take your front row table for some ringside action at the venue. Alternatively, you can buy tickets as listed below:....

 ....

4TH OCT SOUTHAMPTON JOINERS 0870 2643333 www.seetickets.com....

5TH OCT PORTSMOUTH CELLARS 0239 2826249 www.stiffpromotions.co.uk....

6TH OCT BRISTOL LOUISIANA 08713 100000 ....

www.gigantic.com....

8TH OCT CARDIFF I FOR BACH 02920 233199....

www.clwb.net....

9TH OCT MANCHESTER RUBY LOUNGE 0161 8321111 www.ticketline.co.uk/ piccadilly records....

10TH OCT GLASGOW KING TUTS 08444 999990 www.gigsinscotland.com....

11TH OCT LEEDS NATION OF SHOPKEEPERS ....

free gig, no tickets needed.....

12TH OCT YORK DUCHESS 08700 600100 ....

www.wegottickets.com....

13TH OCT BIRMINGHAM ACADEMY 3 0844 4772000 www.ticketweb.co.uk....

14TH OCT NOTTINGHAM BODEGA 08713 100 000 www.gigantic.com....

20TH OCT BRIGHTON PRINCE ALBERT 01273 673311 www.concorde2.co.uk....

4^TH NOV LONDON LUMINAIRE 0207 3727123 www.seetickets.com/thelocal....

 ....

We here at Coastguard Entertainment LTD are looking forward to playing to anyone who shows up… Dennis, if you’re the only one there, you’ll have our undivided attention so think of some good questions.....

In the mean time please practice your awkward standing positions and really loud clapping techniques. We look forward to meeting you.....

Much love, Dan Michaelson and the Coastguards

MORNING DEARS, THOUGHT IT RUDE NOT TO MENTION THAT A SELECTION OF US COASTGUARDS WILL BE VENTURING OUT OF OUR SMACK DENS IN SUPPORT OF THE LEISURE SOCIETY NEXT WEEK. HERES HOW IT LOOKS:

BETWEEN 10PM AND 1AM TONIGHT WE WILL BE WHAT YOU MIGHT CALL "FEATURED ARTISTS" ON XFM'S JOHN KENNEDY'S SHOW. MYSELF AND HORSE (ON PEDAL STEEL) RECORDED 4 SONGS FOR HIM AND THEY WENT VERY WELL SO HOPEFULLY YOU'LL LIKE THE DIFFERENT TAKE ON THEM. UNFORTUNATLY JOHN THEN GAVE ME AN OPPERTUNITY TO SPEAK, OBVIOUSLY THIS IS ANOTHER CHANCE FOR ME TO PROVE THAT SOUNDING AUTHORITIVE AND BEING AUTHORITIVE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS. ANYWAY, HAVE A LISTEN IF ONLY BECAUSE JOHNS A LOVELY FELLA. IF IT DOESNT PUT YOU OFF THEN WE'D LOVE YOU TO COME ALONG TO THE LUMINAIRE IN KILBURN ON THE 4TH JUNE TO SEE US PLAY AS A FULL, PLUMP, PIDGEON CHESTED PEACOCK MACHINE OF A BAND. WE'RE SUPPORTING A BAND CALLED THE SMOKE FAIRIES.. THEY ARE A FAVOURITE OF RICHARD HAWLEY SO ILL PROBABLY ENJOY IT. RICHARD AND I HAVE AN AWFUL LOT IN COMMON. IF YOU ARE SINGLE, BUY A TICKET HERE:
http://www.seetickets.com/see/event.asp?e%7Cartist=DAN+MICHAELSON+AND+THE+COASTGUARDS&resultsperpage=20&&orderby=
IF YOU'RE A COUPLE, BUY TWO TICKETS HERE:
http://www.seetickets.com/see/event.asp?e%7Cartist=DAN+MICHAELSON+AND+THE+COASTGUARDS&resultsperpage=20&&orderby=
SAME PLACE, THEY ARE VERY LIBERAL.

LASTLY ID LIKE TO SAY A FEW SHORT WORDS ABOUT OUT RECENT TOUR WITH THE BROKEN FAMILY BAND. ALTHOUGH IT WAS ALOT LIKE BEING ON AN EXTENDED STAG DO, WE HAD A WONDERFUL TIME WITH THE OLD CHARMERS AND MET AN AWFUL LOT OF LOVELY PEOPLE ON THE WAY ROUND. I CANT SAY ANY MORE AS THEY ALL HAVE TERRIBLE EGO ISSUES.
THANKS FOR YOUR TIME. DAN MICHAELSON.

HORRAY WE CRY IN UNISON, COASTGUARDS WILL BE PLAYING A FULL SET OF MUSIC SONGS AT THE KINGS HEAD IN CROUCH END THIS FRIDAY 17TH APRIL. WHY? WE'RE CELEBRATING. WHAT? CELEBRATING THAT WE'RE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH TO CELEBRATE WITHOUT GOING ALL MISTY EYED THINKING ABOUT WHEN OUR LEGS STILL WORKED.
THIS SENTENCE WILL MAKE NO SENSE, IT ONLY SERVES TO WRITE THE WORDS "BRITNEY SPEARS" SO THE BLOG SHOWS UP IN MORE INTERNET SEARCHES. CLEVER HEY? NOT REALLY.
ANY WAY, I DIGRESS. SINCE THE LAST POST HERE WE'VE BEEN PLAYING INSTORES, RUTHLESSLY PROMOTING OUR RECORD AND SELLING IT SOME OF THE TIME. WE'LL BE ATTEMPTING MORE OF THE SAME ON FRIDAY. ANYONE WHO WANTS TO COME WILL BE GREETED WITH WINNING SMILES OF THE TYPE A LOCAL VICAR WITH A DICKY PAST GIVES WHEN THE NEW SEASON CHOIR COMES TO TOWN. WE'RE ALL THRILLED.
BUY A TICKET HERE:
http://www.wegottickets.com/event/43400
BUY TWO TICKETS HERE:
http://www.wegottickets.com/event/43400
BUY 10 TICKETS HERE:
www.dontbesillythats like60quidmate.com

HELLO PEOPLE, WE'RE SUPPORTING THE LEISURE SOCIETY THIS THURSDAY AT THE LUMINAIRE. I THINK WE'RE GOING TO ENJOY OURSELVES.YOU CAN WATCH THAT HAPPEN LIVE BY BUYING A TICKET HERE: www.wegottickets.com/event/45096 OR BY JOINING THE BAND, HERE: www.idontwanttojoinyourshitband.com LOVELY.X

ear friends and all that have now become strangers,

This Monday the 9th of March sees the release of Dan Michaelson's first record with the Coastguard collective.

DAN MICHAELSON & THE COASTUARDS “SALTWATER”.

If you take a walk to one of the UK's leading Independent records shops and buy it with your hands you will be rewarded with a complimentary screenprint of a seagull doing its business in the shape of our band name.

Alternatively, if your excitement proves to be overwhelming and you need to order online before you mess yourself (free album for anyone who can produce photographic evidence of their byproducts spelling our band name) secure your copy immediately from here: http://www.roughtrade.com/site/shop_detail.lasso?search_type=sku&sku=310817

Or here:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=nb_ss_w_h_?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=dan+michaelson+and+the+coastguards

Or here.. http://hmv.com/hmvweb/simpleSearch.do?searchUID=&pGroupID=-1&adultFlag=false&primaryID=-

Oh, but you’re grumbling.. “Its not that easy, I need a little persuasion”. Fair enough.. heres what the music writers have said:

"your ears naturally tune into Michaelson's skill at putting words to the

parts of relationships that usually stay silent. The cruel asymmetry of

romance is addressed exquisitely, recalling the resigned grandeur of the

Go-Betweens' Robert Forster " **** The Times

"impressive - comes on like Smog fronting the songs of Ed Harcourt" Uncut

"an intensely felt and sparsely drawn study of the beginnings and ends of relationships" **** Time Out

Spellbinding, genuinely heartbreaking songs.. The Quietus

"a set of frighteningly good songs **** The Stool Pigeon

"a voice deeper and darker than most extended overdrafts - Michaelson is on endearingly poetic form" NME

"an outstanding collection of quirky and bare to the bones songs" 8/10 Rocksound

Now maybe you’d like to go buy it from:

http://www.roughtrade.com/site/shop_detail.lasso?search_type=sku&sku=310817 ???

…whats that you say? “Fuck you. Im only on the mailing list ‘cause I was drunk at a Magic Numbers gig and now I can't work out how to get off of it and besides, no one buys records anymore. Us modern folk find that very old hat indeed”
Fair enough, that sounds very sensible. All I can do is invite you to come to one of the gigs (listed below) where you can get drunk, sign a mailing list for who on earth knows why and spend the rest of your days wondering what on earth made you buy a screenprint of a seagull.

Its not my fault but lets try to stay friends.

Love, Dan.
Tour dates list…

March 26th @ luminaire Kilburn supporting The Leisure Society

April 16th @ kings head, crouch end **HEADLINE SHOW***

April 23rd leeds brudenell social club w/ Broken Family Band

April 24th Edinburgh caberet Voltaire w/ Broken Family Band

April 25th Newcastle, the cluny w/ Broken Family Band

April 26th Nottingham, rescue rooms w/ Broken Family Band

May 7th London scala w/ Broken Family Band

May 8th Manchester, ruby lounge w/ Broken Family Band

May 9th Bristol thekla w/ Broken Family Band

May 10th brighton hanbury club w/ Broken Family Band

May 16th Cambridge junction w/ Broken

***FREE COASTGUARDS SONG: BUST***

DEAR FRIENDS, LAST WEEK ON THE JONATHON ROSS SHOW STEPHEN FRY ANOUNCED THAT “DEEP NOISES ARE VERY HARD TO LOCATE..”. HE WAS TALKING ABOUT AN ENDANGERED BIRD SPECIES LIVING OUT ITS FINAL YEARS IN NEW ZEALAND. NONE THE LESS, I FEEL HE WAS ALSO GIVING A NOD IN THE DIRECTION OF A NEW SONG FROM DAN MICHAELSON AND THE COASTGUARDS. IT CAN BE DOWNLOADED FOR FREE FOR THE NEXT 10 DAYS FROM www.transgressiverecords.co.uk .
PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE ON TO ANY FRIENDS INTERESTED IN OLD AND ENDANGERED SPECIMINS, AND FEEL FREE TO DIRECT ANY INSULTS, PITY OR WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT TO danmichaelsonandthecoastguards@gmail.com
OR
www.myspace.com/danmichaelsonandthecoastguards

DAN MICHAELSON IS THE SINGER FROM A BAND CALLED ABSENTEE, THE COASTGUARDS ARE STEVEN ADAMS(BROKEN FAMILY BAND), HENRY SPENNER(FIELDS), TOM GORBUT AND HENRY CLARKE (RUMBLESTRIPS), ARNULF LINDNER (ED HARCOURT/KT TUNSTALL), HORSE (PADDOCK), SANJAY MITRE (OLI N’CLIVE), ROMEO STODART (MAGIC NUMBERS), LAURIE EARLE (ABSENTEE/WET PAINT) AND GREG HALL WHO PLAYS CELLO ALL OVER THE SHOP.
THE TRACK “BUST” IS FROM THE FORTHCOMING ALBUM “SALTWATER”, RELEASED ON MEMPHIS INDUSTRIES ON THE 9TH MARCH.

having been on tour, visiting some of the less pastoral parts of the uk for the the last two weeks with a fine gentleman who goes by the name of duke special, it comes as a strange suprise to find myself now sitting in a cafe in waterloo, locked out of my house, having spent 65pounds on a new bike lock and only having had 2 hours sleep. how did this happen? things were going so well... if only i hadnt left the keys to everything somewhere in the bowels of manchester. imagine the surprise on arriving home at 4.30 this morning and searching the lining of my herringbone jacket and finding loose tobacco instead of the keys to my bike,front door, and all other lockable objects in my possession. still, the tour went really well. we made some new friends and the duke gave us a box of soaps to share. at least when i successfully break into my home ill be able to wash.