Video clips at Ustream

New webcast by Yoni and Danny Limor. It's Half art show, half Comedy show. The Limor brothers take topic requests from the viewers, compete for the affection of total strangers and have a really good time, all whilst making jokes at each other's and the viewers' expense. A good time is had by all! Come check us out.

Where did you begin 2008?
- Somewhere in January, I think.

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
- Super-King!!

Did you have to go to the hospital?
- I didn't HAVE to but I probably would have bled to death if I didn't.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
- Does it count as an "encounter" if you just punched one in the face and ran away laughing?

where did you go on vacation?
- I went to Vegas and lost about $500. Relaxing!!

What did you purchase that was over $500?
- Playstation 3. Best money I ever spent.


Did you know anybody who got married?
- Still do...

What sporting events did you attend?
- Just my weekly fight club meeting. (Oops, I'm not supposed to talk about that.)

What concerts/shows did you go to?
- Just The Rock-A-Fire Explosion.

Where do you live now?
- On the edge...


Describe your birthday?
- I was too young to remember it. (My mom said it was messy.)

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2008?
- Vote.

What have been your favorite moments?
- I had a couple of sex dreams that were pretty good...

What was your best month?
- I don't know.

Favorite nights out?
- Fridays and Saturdays.

Any regrets?
- I've had a few. But, then again, too few to mention...

What do you want to change in 2009?
- My underpants. DAILY!!

Have any life changes in 2008?
- I turned into The Hulk once but I don't anticipate it happening again. (I was really, REALLY angry.)

Change your hairstyle?

- I don't really have enough hair left to style...

Get a new job?
- I'll think about it.

Did anything embarassing?
- Not especially.

Start a new hobby?
- I'm pretty sure I've already got them all.

Been snowboarding?
- I fall down enough as it is...


Are you happy to see 2008 go?
- I'm happy to see its PRESIDENT go.


Drank Starbucks in 2008?
- Nope. I've been coffee free for the past 3 years or so. (Now if I can just kick the crack...)


What are you wishing for in 2009?
- A pony.

1.do you believe in god?
- I'm so TIRED of God...

2.do you believe in the same god as your mom?
- Probably not.

3.if you could say one sentence that everyone in the world would hear at the same time, what would it be?
- You all owe me a dollar.

4.what's your favorite adult beverage?
- Prune juice.

5.have you ever thrown up at the goldrush?
- Nope. I don't throw urRuLgrrrppp... Oooh. That was close.

6.what do you think is cooler: space, or the ocean? why?
- Space. Think about it... Star Wars vs. SeaQuest DSV It's a no brainer.

7.would you rather have:
lightning from the fingertips or lasers from the eyes?
- Hmmmm... Lightning from the fingertips would be all Star Wars-y... but Lasers from the eyes would be all Superman-y. Mmmm. That IS a toughie.

flight or teleportation?
- Flight for sure. Know why? 'Cause then I could FLY.

telepathy or telekinesis?
- Telepenis.

invisibility or morphing?
- Invisibility. That way I could go in the girl's locker room. No. Wait. Morphing. That way I could go in to the girl's locker room WHILE fingering my own Vajay-jay. Right, ladies?

8.if you had to spend your life on a deserted island trapped with one celebrity from an 80's or 90's tv show, who would it be?
- Alf.

9.are your parents on myspace?
- My dad is. My mom can't because it would compromise her secret identi... I mean... Because she doesn't like computers.

10.what's the best pick up line in your arsenal?
- You turn to a pretty lady at a bar and start rubbing her tummy. When she demands to know just what the H. E. Double-hockeysticks you think you're doing, you tell her "I'm just checking out the real estate. I'm thinking about starting a family here."

11.why did the chicken cross the road?
- Because kids jokes are awesome.

12.finish this sentence:
i may not be the brightest crayon in the box, but at least i . . .
- ...have crayons?

13.what would you do if you found a pic of your friends wife/husband naked on the internet?
- Masturbate?

14.what would be your least favorite way to die?
- Slapped to death.

15.(not a question)-write something funny here:
- Spibble quelk vonkie vonk pbthxphbbitth...

16.have you ever eaten magic mushrooms?
- Nope. Just the hallucinagenic kind that grow in cow shit.

17.what are your top 3 favorite songs right now?
- Row, row, row your boat - Traditional

Mmm... Bop! - Hanson

I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General - Pirates Of Penzance

18.who is your favorite visual artist?
- Katie Cook. (Check her out at www.katiecandraw.com)

19.(not a question) write something profound here:
- The present tense of profound should be profind.

20.what's one thing you would wear, that you don't now, if anything was socially acceptable?
- A gorilla's skin.

bonus question!!

21.does nok make the best surveys or what?
- ...Meh.

Who did you last say I love you to?
- I don't remember. To WHOM did YOU last say, "I love you?"

If you had to name your child after a car, what would you name them?
- Piece Of Shit.

Is it annoying when people say "like" too much in conversations?
- Only if I am within earshot. Otherwise... Meh.

Did you see Saw 5 in theaters?
- I see-sawed at 5 on the playground... Does THAT help?

Do you sleep with any stuffed animals?
- I don't even sleep with LIVE animals and THEY might lick your balls. (No I don't.)

Would you date someone 8 years older than you?
- Of course I would. I'll date ANY woman of ANY age as long as she has a good sense of humor, big boobs and lots of cash.

Have you questioned any people that are in your life lately?
- Only the ones still being considered as suspects.

Are you easily scared by horror movies?
- No. Nor am I easily entertained by them.

Do your lips get chapped often?
- Not nearly as often as my ass...

Any plans for tonight?
- My brother and I are going to get all high and nerd-out to a NASA documentary. (Hey, YOU asked.)

What was the last concert you attended?
- I don't remember. It must have been good.

Who is your number one on my space?
- me.im all i think about (I'm going to deferr to Jenn's answer on this one.)

What is one thing you wish people didn't do?
- If I had to narrow it down to ONE THING? Hmmmm. I got it... "Annoy me."

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, you say?
- We should do it once for old time's sake...

Your boyfriend/girlfriend cheats on you with your best friend, you say?
- Since when do I have girlfriends AND best friends?

Have you done anything you regret in 2008 so far?
- I have done EVERYTHING I regret in 2008 and I'm looking forward to doing it all AGAIN in 2009!!

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
- Scrunchitude. Scrunchitude sucks. What's that? You never heard of it? ...Lucky.

Who has your heart?
- My ribcage.

What will you name your future son?
- Either: Obi-Wan Kenobi Limor or Clark Kent Limor. (C'mon... TWINS!!)

What will you name your future daughter?
- That's my future wife's job. I named the future boys. (But I DO like the names Claudia and Gertrude.)

What makes you happy?
- Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.

Is the person you like older or younger than you?
- Most likely younger. I'm kind of a dirty old man. I likes 'em in their mid to late twenties.

What can cheer you up no matter what?
- Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace

Do you like to hold or be held?
- What? Are you asking if I like to be Big Spoon or Little Spoon?

What do you want right now?
- Grilled Cheese Sandwich.

Would you leave the person you like for the hottest person in the world?
- Who says they aren't one and the same? (Yes.)


Will the last person you kissed be the next person you kiss?
- It was so long ago, I couldn't tell you who... Wait I just remembered. NOPE!!

Do tattoos and piercings excite you?
- Not as much as Hoo-Has and Wing-Wangs...

I'll bet you're missing someone right now?

- You owe me a dollar.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
- Only if they wanted me to know.

Is it okay if you kiss people when you're single?
- Are you asking my PERMISSION?

Do you think you'll be married in ten years?
- i hope not. (I agree with Jenn.)

Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends"?
- I believe they CAN but I don't know why they'd WANT to.

What were you doing at 1 AM this morning?
- I was having a beautiful dream in which the general populace were smart enough to know that when one says "AM" they need not then qualify it with "In the morning." ...I feel the same way about all the "Automated Teller Machine Machines" and the "Personal Identification Number Numbers."

Where were you Friday night and who with?
- Went to the roller derby with a muppet. (With whom)

Where will you be in a hour?
- In AN hour I will be humping your sister. Or your mom. It's still Thursday, right? Yeah. Your mom.

Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice that you can't even speak to them?
- Fran Drescher, Eddie Deezin, Gilbert Godfried, and Victoria Jackson all came over for dinner one night... I can take pretty much anything.

Do you still talk to the person you last kissed?
- Look, I'll tell you the same thing I told HER...I'll talk to her again when she's ready to start kissing me again.

Have you ever kissed someone in a vehicle?
- Does The Death Star count as a "vehicle?"

How did you get one of your last bruises?
- Car wreck. ...But the last one before that I got from wrestling a 3 1/2 foot long Crocodile. No bullshit. It was the gnarliest thing I've EVER done. (Except for the car wreck. THAT was gnarly.)

Do you worry your ex will move on and be happier with another person?
- No one could possibly be happier with another person than they would be with me. Not possible.

Has anybody ever given you butterflies?
- Yeah, but I wasn't hungry so I just let them go.

Who did you spend at least two hours with today?
- A sixth grade class at my old hebrew school. We're working on an art project. None of your beezwax!

I never voted before this year. Not because I was lazy (though I am) and not because I didn't care (though I don't). I never voted before because I always thought that it would be irresponsible of me TO vote.

I'll explain.

Most people would tell you that voting is not just your right as an American, but your responsibility. That's true. It IS your responsibility to pick a candidate that represents your ideas; your way of thinking. But what if you don't care about politics? What if you understand that no matter what, regardless of the election outcome, you are going to have to pay taxes you feel are unfair and follow laws you don't believe in and neither candidate is going to be able to fix it the way you want it? If that's the case, is it REALLY right for you to find some arbitrary reason to vote for a guy that you don't feel is right for the job? Just because you LIKE him better than the other guy? Maybe he's COOLER or YOUNGER?

I, personally, don't think so.

...So I never voted. Until now.

What changed? Well, I don't know if you've noticed but GWB done fucked up this country real good over the last eight years! Now, I'm not ignorant enough to think that all the bullshit that our government has been heaping on us for the last near decade was ALL George's fault. He's just the President after all, not a Dictator. But AS the President he is the figurehead that accepts the credit and/or the blame for what transpires during his administration. Twenty years from now the nation won't remember who was in the senate or congress... They're only going to remember who was steering the ship. If you don't believe me, ask Captain Joseph Hazelwood. GWB is going to go down as the WORST president in history and maybe that's fair and maybe it isn't... But that's the way it IS.

I voted this time because even though I "don't care," It turns out that I actually DO. I was so shit-scared of four more years of the same type of yeehaw Republican war-mongering shenanigans that not only did I vote for the first time ever, I picked a candidate because "I liked him better than the other guy." I voted for Barack Obama.

I was torn... Because they both had a really serious strike against them in my opinion.

John McCain referred to his former captors as "GOOKS" and then defended his use of the word. I'm sorry, but there is no defense for that. Not if you want to be the President of the United States. You cannot justify using racial slurs no matter what. What if he's elected and then has to deal with one of the many Asian countries that would take umbrage with a man who unapologetically uses the word "GOOK?" That would be REAL nice. (Why, Oh why, is there no difinitive way to convey a sarcastic tone in text?!?)

Barack Obama, on the other hand, was against gay marriage. I'm sorry but not being FOR it is being AGAINST it. I find it to be in unbelievably poor taste for the first black President in the history of America to say that HE has rights that other Americans SHOULDN'T be allowed to have. My friends tell me that he actually IS for gay marriage but can't say so because it would be political suicide. Well, that would make him a liar and a coward. I don't see that that would be much better.

Either way, I voted and now I feel a little ashamed of myself for not sticking to my OWN convictions. I will NOT be voting again until there is a candidate who I truly believe in. A candidate who says what he believes regardless of the effect it might have in the midwest states. A candidate who doesn't cowtow to the soccer moms or the religious fanatics. A candidate who isn't afraid to LOSE.

And that candidate... might just be...

Well, it might just be ME.

Vote for Danny Limor in 2012!!

(Don't worry. According to the Mayans, the world will be ending on December 21, 2012 and then it won't matter anyway.)

Awesome To The Maxx!!

If a stranger looked in your closet, what would they think?
- Where did all these immigrants come from?

The highlight of your week?
- Masturbated to fantasy of Me with Winona Ryder AND Drew Barrymore. (Awesome)

Do you want to be married right now?
- Only if I can have a wife from the fifties. One that likes to cook and clean and bring me a pipe and some sllippers when I get home from work. (And dinner had better be ready or I'll introduce her to the back of my hand!)

Ever paid more than a hundred bucks on a pair of jeans?
- Never bought a pair of Jeans. (Bought a pair of Trixies once. Cost a fortune but they were thorough. THOROUGH. Totally worth it.)

What's bothering you right now?
- The idea that none of this means anything and we all die alone. (THAT and I kinda have to poop.)

Do you want children?
- Depends what you mean by "WANT."

Do people underestimate you?
no, they usually overestimate me   (This was Jenn's answer. I couldn't have said it any better. Great minds think alike, I suppose.)

Does it bother you when someone says they'll call you and they don't?
- It used to... and then I turned 34. (Grow up)

Provide a quote from the song you're listening to:
- My pancreas attracts every other pancreas in the universe with a force proportional to the product of their masses, and inversely proportional to the distance between them... WooOooWooOooWooOooWooooooo...

Have you ever hated someone, but ended up being friends with them?
- That's the way MOST of my relationships go.

Last time to the mall?
- I hope so...

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
- They're ALL non-alcoholic for me.  I no longer consume alcoholic beverages.  Push your firewater on someone else there, Chachi!  You booze, you lose!

Did you sing at all today?
- National Anthem at a baseball game.  No biggie.

Do you miss anyone?
- What? You mean like if my scope is faulty? That's why you check ALL your equipment TWICE.

What side of a heart do you draw first?
- The outside.

Do you know how to use some words correctly?
- I know how to use ALL of them correctly.

Do you like to sleep?
- Not really.  I always feel like I'm missing out on something.

Do you have a tan?
- I don't REALLY need to explain, YET AGAIN, that tans are still bad for your skin, do I?

Whats the last thing you ate?
- Toast.  (It's the ONLY thing I eat.)

Do you enjoy spending time with your mother?
- Look, I don't know where you're going with this question but let's just say yes and move on, ok?  (If your mom gave head like mine, you'd like spending time with her too.)  DAMN YOU, PARENTHETICALS!!!!

Where do you wish you were right now?
- Naboo. 

Do you tend to speed when you drive?
- No, I tend to "marijuana" when I drive.

Do you smoke cigarettes?
- Yeah, but only for the last 16 years or so, so it's not that bad.  I can quit whenever I want.

Does your temper flare a lot?
it sparkles more than flares (Again, Jenn's answer. It would be an exercise in futility to try to come up with a better response to that question.)

Do you get emotional easily?
- Not as easily as I get STOIC.  (I sure hope I spelled that right. I'd hate to drop an intellectual joke and misspell one of the words.)

Do you like to cuddle?
- It's all I know how to do without pulling a muscle. (ZING!)

Name one thing you do that people always point out?
- Poop on the floor.

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
- I sleep suspended in carbonite, so... Blankets? ...Meh.

What position do you sleep in?
- You ever seen Return of the Jedi?

Who is the last person that made you angry?
- The Hulk.  (We didn't like each other that way...)

Close your eyes.. what image do you see?
- Space.

Last piece of mail you got?
- Voter registration card.  (That's right, America!! Look out! Danny's finally gonna vote!!)

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
- 4  (...to FUNCTION.  If I'm expected to do math or something?... 13.)

Last trip you took to the zoo?
- I wrestled a hippopotamus and got thrown out.

Name some things you absolutely cannot stand:
- Chewing gum. That's it.

And now... "THE FIRST RESPONSE QUIZ".

You have to type the 1ST thing that comes to mind whenever you hear these 31 things. You can't think, go back and change your answers...

Beer: Carbonated Piss

McDonalds: Supersize Me

Relationships: Yet to be worth the hassle

Purple: Murple

Power Rangers: AWESOME!!

Steroids: Small weiner

Cartoons: Not funny anymore.

The President: Should have to pay...

Florida: Manny Puig

Santa Claus: I'm a Jew

Halloween: Free candy

Alice: Doesn't live here anymore

Myspace: Like crack, only addictive.

Clowns: I could take 'em or leave 'em.

Marriage: Let the homosexuals have it. WE certainly can't figure out to make it work.

Paris: Getting fucked in night-vision in a hotel room.

Pat: McCrotch

Redheads: I don't fucking know...

Blondes: Whatever.

One night stand: Two end table

Donald Trump: All that money and he can't buy a wig?

Neverland: Nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.  (Too molesty)

Pixie: Frank Black

ink:  Paint?

Vanilla ice cream: I prefer it to chocolate. (These don't really lend themselves to comedy...)

Hooters: I stand corrected.

High school: I went, I graduated, I'm still a loser. What's all the hooplah about?

Pajamas: Fuzzy ones with feet

Woody: Buzz

Wet Sock: Post masturbatory clean-up.