When I awoke this morning, I never thought that I would give you a second thought.  I woke up renewed and happy or so I thought.  I realized I lied to myself thinking that you are what I wanted.  I lied to myself thinking you made a part of me happy.  When I realized you were no more than a common thug with an intelligent mind, a brilliant mind even, I was repulsed by the fact that I allowed myself to be suckered into you.  I have no one to blame but myself, you are good at what you do, but I loved me more and decided to move on, you became mad at me for wanting to do better and live by a code that went higher than the honor and duty that you proclaim to have.  I live by a creed where blood was spilled and resurrected for me.  I love that about you and above me.  I no longer wanted to be in your inner circle, I no longer wanted to be your fool.  I love me more, and I told you that, you got mad then, and I should have known that you were no good.  If a woman tells a man that she loves herself more than she loves that man, he should be proud and happy to have a woman that is complete within herself and not dependent on him to make her whole, she comes whole, which is a beautiful thing in and of itself.  I love me and the man that appreciates my brilliance is truly one blessed and intellectually competent man, because he will appreciate and revel in the fact that his woman is a VIRTUOUS WOMAN!!!

When I think of you, I cry.

Tears for the lost opportunities, never to return again.

Tears for the soul, lost in the desolate valley of the condemned.

When I think of you, I cry.

I listened to my heart and it lead to a weary place.

A valley that was isolated from you.

I think of the way we loved, cold, hot, volitile.

Deeper than the meaning I knew, you are the one that unleashed, the me, I am now.

Stronger for the experience, stiffer in my determination.

When I think of you, I cry.

For the man that I loved, is lost, and cannot find his way.

I want the light to shine for him, yet I cry for the man, still lost.

I trusted my heart, and in the end it lied to me.

I trusted my mind, and it betrayed me miserably.

Bad choices, not mentally stable may have played a part in my destruction.

I loved for the wrong reasons, I trusted for there was no foundation.

I wait in the limelight, waiting one day to find the spotlight, that will allow me to shine in my brillance.

I radiate confidence, yet my heart lied to me.  It allowed for me to be deceived with no thought of my emotional well-being.

The heart lies because it gives us what we want, even when it is not what we need.

I love with a heart that will, not lie to others but to the holder.

Even  with this deceptive organ, I still LOVE, with a heart that is overwhelmed by the depth of a feeling that has consumed my mind and my heart.

Yet, my heart lied to me because it lead me to

YOU!!!!

Life has a funny way of making one think.  Think of the impossible, think of the future, think of greatness.  Life is to be lived with the utmost tenacity and diligence for a life without purpose is no life at all.

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